Has anyone used one for personal or business? What were the results? I used one from Tony Robbins several years back and did not get much out of it.
Has anyone used a personal life coach?
Not a magic pill. most coaches / seminars / workshops get you high on excitement. I did Hogan assessment (which was a part of the HR dept sets my co was administering to new C level hires to find all kinds of personality stuff on them.. The HR gal was my friend, so I got a discount) to learn my own strengths and then worked with the coach for a bit and found some areas to improve. it's not a one time deal. you need to a) get evaluated b) set goals c) develop a plan d) execute e) report back to the coach (cause it's easy to start believing own bs or get side tracked)
Maybe I'm a cynic but Life Coach sounds like one of those useless job titles that Womens Studies graduates love. I don't want a cent of my money going towards her next cat.
That said, I have found male mentors to be highly valuable. Identify somebody you look up to or would like to emulate.
Offer to buy him drinks/a meal to "pick his brain" about something. Just be honest about why you want to talk to him. He will probably be flattered.
Insist on picking up the tab even if he tries to pay. It's token investment with high upside potential.
I did this with a guy I know who is very successful in his career in Japan. He gave me some solid feedback on my resume and general profile. He even went beyond that and offered to introduce people in his field to set me up. Really great guy.
That said, I have found male mentors to be highly valuable. Identify somebody you look up to or would like to emulate.
Offer to buy him drinks/a meal to "pick his brain" about something. Just be honest about why you want to talk to him. He will probably be flattered.
Insist on picking up the tab even if he tries to pay. It's token investment with high upside potential.
I did this with a guy I know who is very successful in his career in Japan. He gave me some solid feedback on my resume and general profile. He even went beyond that and offered to introduce people in his field to set me up. Really great guy.
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I've never used one.
But the feeling I get is that this job is a lot like a personal trainer. You don't need one to workout, but maybe it's good every now and then to have someone to help you bust through sticking points.
Problem is that the field is totally unregulated and pretty much anyone can call himself or herself a life coach. So quality will vary.
Find some guy who does free videos on You Tube that helps keep you motivated. That's about as far as I'd ever go...
But the feeling I get is that this job is a lot like a personal trainer. You don't need one to workout, but maybe it's good every now and then to have someone to help you bust through sticking points.
Problem is that the field is totally unregulated and pretty much anyone can call himself or herself a life coach. So quality will vary.
Find some guy who does free videos on You Tube that helps keep you motivated. That's about as far as I'd ever go...
Most life coaches are charismatic people who just start a way of billing people for pep talks. A good therapist (which is not the majority) has a far deeper background, and if they are old school trained they got a lot of therapy themselves and won't work out their problems through you.
Like any other profession, when you have thousands of hours of experience, you spot and analyze problems far faster, maybe 100 times faster then the amateur. Much like a car mechanic. People think they're unique and it's true to a point, but they're more similar than they are different.
I'm biased however, because I'm a therapist. Everybody thinks they're one, like everyone thinks they're a public policy analyst.
Don't know why everybody doesn't think they're a dentist or a car mechanic...
Like any other profession, when you have thousands of hours of experience, you spot and analyze problems far faster, maybe 100 times faster then the amateur. Much like a car mechanic. People think they're unique and it's true to a point, but they're more similar than they are different.
I'm biased however, because I'm a therapist. Everybody thinks they're one, like everyone thinks they're a public policy analyst.
Don't know why everybody doesn't think they're a dentist or a car mechanic...
I think a life coach adds most value when they give you some fine tuning feedback on your goals and makes you accountable for the goals you set on weekly basis, more or less what personla trainer would do. I know of some big dollar guys who are VERY succesful in all aspects of life and still use a coach. Some are just undisciplined in certain areas and need that extra push.
Quote: (12-16-2013 11:49 PM)iknowexactly Wrote:
Most life coaches are charismatic people who just start a way of billing people for pep talks. A good therapist (which is not the majority) has a far deeper background, and if they are old school trained they got a lot of therapy themselves and won't work out their problems through you.
Like any other profession, when you have thousands of hours of experience, you spot and analyze problems far faster, maybe 100 times faster then the amateur. Much like a car mechanic. People think they're unique and it's true to a point, but they're more similar than they are different.
I'm biased however, because I'm a therapist. Everybody thinks they're one, like everyone things they're a public policy analyst.
Don't know why everybody doesn't think they're a dentist or a car mechanic...
I compltely agree and it seems those first few great pep talks, fizzless out in some cases
I read through an absolute ton of those books. I would say Tony Robbins, David D and the Millionaire Mind guy really gave me a lot of direction in life. David D for his great PUA bible, Tony Robbins for his fun goal setting activities and the Millionaire Mind for his great card set about changing your mind to match money. I went a full 180 in my 20's after reading their stuff and now I'm worlds ahead of my friends back at home. I don't think you need a 'life coach', just get some books and read through them, take out the points, write them down and do some of the exercises.
Oh right and I really liked that movie: The Secret. There is something about it that seems to be legit, maybe not all of it but there is some truth to what they say. The one thing I have noticed from all the 'coaches' is they hold to one main principle, whatever you focus on gets bigger. So if you are constantly bitching and complaining about life then you'll just get more of that, if you are out enjoying yourself, you tend to get more of that coming your way. Don't know why, but it seems to just work like that. Also a good book to read is 'The Alchemist'.
Oh right and I really liked that movie: The Secret. There is something about it that seems to be legit, maybe not all of it but there is some truth to what they say. The one thing I have noticed from all the 'coaches' is they hold to one main principle, whatever you focus on gets bigger. So if you are constantly bitching and complaining about life then you'll just get more of that, if you are out enjoying yourself, you tend to get more of that coming your way. Don't know why, but it seems to just work like that. Also a good book to read is 'The Alchemist'.
I think Life Coaches try to support you in keeping you accountable on what goals you have.
If you were serious enough, you could just find some other people and you guys keep each other accountable for hitting goals. If you're not hitting goals then you guys ride each other about why you are not hitting the goals.
I think Badwolf has some good points, the Secret is a little eat pray loveish but it talks about abundance and creating/sourcing.
Becoming successful in life is about commitment and intention. If you were committed enough, you could build a house by yourself even if you had no knowledge - you would find a way. If you were motivated enough you could move mountains.
You can be coached on what you want to achieve, but no one can convince you to be motivated or have a desire to do well, that comes from within.
The fact that you are even asking shows that you have some desire to grow as a person. I would spend time doing some low cost stuff before considering paying someone to talk to you about your goals.
Form your own group of committed people who won't let your excuses slide for why you are not hitting your goals. Save money, meet new people.
If you were serious enough, you could just find some other people and you guys keep each other accountable for hitting goals. If you're not hitting goals then you guys ride each other about why you are not hitting the goals.
I think Badwolf has some good points, the Secret is a little eat pray loveish but it talks about abundance and creating/sourcing.
Becoming successful in life is about commitment and intention. If you were committed enough, you could build a house by yourself even if you had no knowledge - you would find a way. If you were motivated enough you could move mountains.
You can be coached on what you want to achieve, but no one can convince you to be motivated or have a desire to do well, that comes from within.
The fact that you are even asking shows that you have some desire to grow as a person. I would spend time doing some low cost stuff before considering paying someone to talk to you about your goals.
Form your own group of committed people who won't let your excuses slide for why you are not hitting your goals. Save money, meet new people.
Fate whispers to the warrior, "You cannot withstand the storm." And the warrior whispers back, "I am the storm."
Women and children can be careless, but not men - Don Corleone
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The vast majority of "life coaches" weren't that successful with their own lives.
Generally what you need is a mentor of consultant rather than a "life coach."
Very few people are running on all cylinders of life. How many men have their finances, health, fitness, love life all together?
Not many. If you could find someone like that, it'd be a good life coach.
Otherwise, just find people to help you out on various aspects of your life.
What do you want to improve?
- health
- looks
- personal finances
- career
- game/relationships
Then find a source for each of those.
Generally what you need is a mentor of consultant rather than a "life coach."
Very few people are running on all cylinders of life. How many men have their finances, health, fitness, love life all together?
Not many. If you could find someone like that, it'd be a good life coach.
Otherwise, just find people to help you out on various aspects of your life.
What do you want to improve?
- health
- looks
- personal finances
- career
- game/relationships
Then find a source for each of those.
^ yep exactly.
Most people can only excel at a few items in life, so seek out a few guys who specialize in each one and build up your own life around your belief system.
Also I've said it a billion times on here but if they have no real life experience doing what you want to do run as fast as possible in the other direction. Either 1) they are completely full of themselves and delusional enough to believe they can know something without doing it or 2) they are stealing your money and you're the fool for trusting someone with zero life experience.
Finally the best mentor has been through worse situations than you, if you're taking advice from someone who had it easier than you, you're also wasting your time.
Most people can only excel at a few items in life, so seek out a few guys who specialize in each one and build up your own life around your belief system.
Also I've said it a billion times on here but if they have no real life experience doing what you want to do run as fast as possible in the other direction. Either 1) they are completely full of themselves and delusional enough to believe they can know something without doing it or 2) they are stealing your money and you're the fool for trusting someone with zero life experience.
Finally the best mentor has been through worse situations than you, if you're taking advice from someone who had it easier than you, you're also wasting your time.
MikeCF ^^^^^^ This.
I was approached at a music show by a 'life coach'.
He saw how much fun I was having and that I was with two hot females.
He asked how I did it.
He also asked what workouts I did to look like this.
Basically what I'm saying is this life coach was asking me to be his life coach.
Then we got to talking and he told me he was a life coach and thought I would be a great fit for his program.
We exchanged numbers and I grabbed a cup of coffee with him to hear him out.
The yearly once a week course was to much for me.
I also asked him, "how am I in a position to be a life coach when I barely make my rent every month?
He said it didn't matter that I had what it takes. Which I'm sure I do. But...
He was from Toronto. Now he's emailing me telling me he has a free one on one mentoring program he can put me in.
Just read the book a new earth. That was my life coach.
I was approached at a music show by a 'life coach'.
He saw how much fun I was having and that I was with two hot females.
He asked how I did it.
He also asked what workouts I did to look like this.
Basically what I'm saying is this life coach was asking me to be his life coach.
Then we got to talking and he told me he was a life coach and thought I would be a great fit for his program.
We exchanged numbers and I grabbed a cup of coffee with him to hear him out.
The yearly once a week course was to much for me.
I also asked him, "how am I in a position to be a life coach when I barely make my rent every month?
He said it didn't matter that I had what it takes. Which I'm sure I do. But...
He was from Toronto. Now he's emailing me telling me he has a free one on one mentoring program he can put me in.
Just read the book a new earth. That was my life coach.
Yea, its called my parents. They offer me unsolicited nagging advice on a every 15 mins.
WIA- For most of men, our time being masters of our own fate, kings in our own castles is short. Even those of us in the game will eventually succumb to ease of servitude rather than deal with the malaise of solitude
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I suppose it was a one sided relationship, me reading what he writes. But this idea of a "life coach" is lame. Find people who have a philosophy that makes sense to you, read what they write, and experiment with the concepts in your own life. One grown man asking another grown man to be his life coach is not good form.
I could see it being useful with the right coach.
For me, the biggest benefit would be just having someone to keep you on track to what you already want. Anyone who has ever hired the services of a personal trainer knows that even if you know what you're doing it can be huge just to have someone keeping you accountable for showing up and egging you on when you're doing reps, not letting you slack off, etc.
In my eyes, a "life coach" would serve much the same function. And it's different from friendships or networking because paying him would free you from the responsibility of listening to what's going on in his life, thus saving you time and energy on the relationship.
You just show up and/or place the phone call and you can just talk about what you're doing to meet your goals and then meeting's over.
The big challenge would be finding the right person for the job.
For me, the biggest benefit would be just having someone to keep you on track to what you already want. Anyone who has ever hired the services of a personal trainer knows that even if you know what you're doing it can be huge just to have someone keeping you accountable for showing up and egging you on when you're doing reps, not letting you slack off, etc.
In my eyes, a "life coach" would serve much the same function. And it's different from friendships or networking because paying him would free you from the responsibility of listening to what's going on in his life, thus saving you time and energy on the relationship.
You just show up and/or place the phone call and you can just talk about what you're doing to meet your goals and then meeting's over.
The big challenge would be finding the right person for the job.
Beyond All Seas
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
I use Athol Kay from marriedmansexlife.com. He's the only Red Pill coach I know of. His big thing is to identify 3 "monkeys" each week for you to focus on to improve yourself. He's a straight talker and no BS. I'm not sure if he takes unmarried clients, but you could ask. Also has a couple other coaches on staff now. His two books are also quite helpful for identifying a plan of action to improve yourself if you don't want to actually pay for the coaching.
http://marriedmansexlife.com/the-coaching-team/
You can pay in monthly installments. For me the money is well spent. Also it's great to get some feedback & chat with someone who is actually red pill and not a blithering idiot.
What I first signed up I filled out a huge list of questions, and then he boiled them down into about 20 or 30 things on a giant "to do" list and helped me prioritize them to focus on 3 each week. It has helped me, and I think other people could get something out of it. It has helped my marriage, my stress levels and my performance at work.
Arguably I could have done this all on my own, but between a full time job, 3 kids, a M.Sc thesis, a wife with multiple health issues, a hunting hobby it was a lot of effort to do it all myself. Paying someone else to do some thinking for me and giving me advice - seeing straight what some issue was that I wasn't fully seeing myself was really helpful.
I don't think Athol would necessarily be the right guy for everyone. The target audience for MMSL is guys/gals who realize they are beta/omega, life issues and need help. For a put together PUA making great $$, getting laid tons, live where they want... (etc) Would probably want a very different kind of life coach.
His background is being a psych nurse, so he's not going to help you make millions of $$ directly. Lots of people have gotten their shit together through his books and improved their earnings. You will get some good relationship, self improvement, and life management advice.
http://marriedmansexlife.com/the-coaching-team/
You can pay in monthly installments. For me the money is well spent. Also it's great to get some feedback & chat with someone who is actually red pill and not a blithering idiot.
What I first signed up I filled out a huge list of questions, and then he boiled them down into about 20 or 30 things on a giant "to do" list and helped me prioritize them to focus on 3 each week. It has helped me, and I think other people could get something out of it. It has helped my marriage, my stress levels and my performance at work.
Arguably I could have done this all on my own, but between a full time job, 3 kids, a M.Sc thesis, a wife with multiple health issues, a hunting hobby it was a lot of effort to do it all myself. Paying someone else to do some thinking for me and giving me advice - seeing straight what some issue was that I wasn't fully seeing myself was really helpful.
I don't think Athol would necessarily be the right guy for everyone. The target audience for MMSL is guys/gals who realize they are beta/omega, life issues and need help. For a put together PUA making great $$, getting laid tons, live where they want... (etc) Would probably want a very different kind of life coach.
His background is being a psych nurse, so he's not going to help you make millions of $$ directly. Lots of people have gotten their shit together through his books and improved their earnings. You will get some good relationship, self improvement, and life management advice.
When it comes to coaching....
I just take YoungMobileGlobal's advice on business, WestCoast's advice on finance, and MikeCF's advice on general life/health.
I just take YoungMobileGlobal's advice on business, WestCoast's advice on finance, and MikeCF's advice on general life/health.
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