[Mr. Calicoat]

I guess I haven't had as terrible luck as some of you guys had. Some of the stories in here (mostly Tuth's) are truly disgusting.

The worst I've ever encountered is a smelly vagina that literally smelled like rotten fish. It was obviously most noticeable when I wanted to go down on her, on which I quickly changed my mind after I smelled her vagina. I could still actually smell it a bit when we did doggy-style...

The thing is,I'm not sure if it was an actual hygiene thing. We both took a shower after our encounter, and I made sure she washed her vagina real good. Then we went for round 2, but her vag was still smelly (although less than before).

[Mr. Butterworth]

I also am wonder what "Cup O'Noodle" is

[Christian McQueen]

Fuck. Memories coming back due to this thread.

I have some war stories, but I'm putting them in my next book: If These Balls Could Talk: The Hedonistic Life of Christian McQueen.

You bang enough chicks, some crazy ass stuff will happen.

[Laner]

If anyone eats Korean food, there are the little dishes you get when you sit down, and often have the green seaweed dish.

Well me and a German buddy were ripping it up in Hamburg and he decides to take off and hit up a brothel for a quickie.

When he returns he has a sick look on his face.

He was banging a Korean hooker doggy style and notices that a piece of seaweed is sticking out of her asshole.

I still love Korean food, but I think of that story every time I see that dish.

[Guanyanyo]

(12-12-2013 03:49 AM)Vendetta Wrote:  

(12-11-2013 11:20 PM)Eirykr Wrote:  

Cup O' Noodle.

WTF is that?

Probably he means that she let a creamy fart pop direct into his mouth or some other repulsive bodily event of that woman.

I remembered two stories from other ppl.
My roommates and myself had a fanclub, a bunch of girls who'd come to our place on weekends and party. One of them had an elder sister who arrived from 2 years in Spain, and had returned from there sporting "cultural upgrades", such as doing two of us at the same time and other more audacious things which the other girls wouldn't do. So one of the roomies went with this girl to his room while she was on the rag and she mounted him. I was at the door drinking and looking on when she dismounted him and turned around. His dick was smeared in menses and you could see small flecks of coagulated blood. She turned around and started giving him head. She smiled and said something like "mmm, tastes of bloody pussy".

During Uni time I shared a flat with a girl from abroad for a time. We were on good terms but didn't fuck though she was a slut (I had a GF) and changed men rather often. Once during our extended breakfast blahblah sessions she confided that her current fuckbuddy had given her some STD, what had the unwholesome effect of filling her vagina with smelly, yellow pus during night, which would run out when she stood up. She complained of the messed up bedclothes and mattress and that she didn't have money for a new one. (edit) If memory serves me well, he was shagging her despite the STD.

[Eirykr]

(12-12-2013 04:18 AM)Mr. Butterworth Wrote:  

I also am wonder what "Cup O'Noodle" is

Yeast infection, I'm assuming. Looked like Cup O'Noodle.


Fortunately I have a pretty strong stomach.

[Screwston]

I used to bang this pretty, tall white girl. I always tried to do anal but she wouldnt let me. One day she finally did so I'm slamming it in her doggystyle and tell her to suck it. The lights were dimmed but I could see shit on my dick right before she started sucking. She watched to much porn because she said "my ass tastes so good baby".

I was fucking a fat girls mouth really hard and she threw up a little. I jumped back and got a little on my head.

A girl was giving me head and cut my head with her teeth. I didn't feel it but pulled it out and saw s tiny cut. I showed her and she said the blood tastes good snd started sucking again.

[Flavius Aetius]

The little slut (ex stripper) I saw yesterday gave me fleas from her filthy cats!!!!!! Picked her up at her place. She invites me in to see her cats and the hellhole place she calls a home (trash and dirty clothes everywhere). I pet them and they rub up against me in a friendly manner. Later in the car, the little strumpet tells me that she is going to have to buy anti-flea medicine for her cats and how expensive it is. I wished you had told me this before I entered your apartment. Now I have fleas and they itch like hell.

[AnonymousBosch]

(12-12-2013 04:59 AM)houston Wrote:  

A girl was giving me head and cut my head with her teeth. I didn't feel it but pulled it out and saw s tiny cut. I showed her and she said the blood tastes good snd started sucking again.

My dick was taken out of commission last year for about 5 days to heal up from one chick who had the worst blowjob skills i've ever encountered. It's like she snorkeling underwater and was trying to breathe oxygen through it. Thing was grazed to hell and required cream to heal up.

Technically not a hygiene story, but just an example of rotten fat chicks: a mate's older sister was a hambeast, and, when I was a teenager, I heard her talking to a friend, and explaining she'd woken up last the night before to find a guy they both knew on top of her, going for it.

"What did ya do?" her friend asked.

"Went back to sleep." She took another drag on her cigarette. "I don't know what he thought he was rootin', but it weren't me snatch so I figured he'd tire himself out sooner or later!"

They both laughed like jackals, and kept eating their Tim Tams. Meanwhile, I was all

[augen sehen]

This one really shook me, took my innocence and so on... and compared to some of these other stories, is basically nothing.

So I'd been going hard with this Japanese girl and she was always pretty fanatic about her hygiene. She never had BO, her pussy always smelled good, hair always under control and so on. Well, one day we were going at it in missionary, it was a hot summer's day and we had both started sweating. I was in the mood for doggy, so I flipped her over and started going for it with her at the edge of the bed and me standing on the floor.

And then it hit me. The smell of dried shit. The bitch hadn't wiped properly and it was so. fucking. rank.



My dick deflated like someone popped it with a hypodermic needle and it was all I could do to not throw up all over her. I tried to keep going but it was like trying to fuck with a limp pool noodle. I threw her back on her back and got on top of her, and tried to gather up my strength and hardness for another go. It worked, and I finished, but it was never the same.

Epilogue: I told her about it a year down the line, over email, long after we had broken up. She was suitably chastened.

[soup]

[InternationPlayboy]

Hooking up with a fine broad, when you go to put your fingers in her puss, you feel a big layer of flesh. To top that off, once you get her pants off she smells.

Another one I had was a sexy ass argentine girl. I fucked her, and then when she went to the bathroom to clean up, I looked at her panties and she had some nasty crusty shit right where her pussy was.

[speakeasy]

(12-12-2013 07:27 AM)augen sehen Wrote:  

This one really shook me, took my innocence and so on... and compared to some of these other stories, is basically nothing.

So I'd been going hard with this Japanese girl and she was always pretty fanatic about her hygiene. She never had BO, her pussy always smelled good, hair always under control and so on. Well, one day we were going at it in missionary, it was a hot summer's day and we had both started sweating. I was in the mood for doggy, so I flipped her over and started going for it with her at the edge of the bed and me standing on the floor.

And then it hit me. The smell of dried shit. The bitch hadn't wiped properly and it was so. fucking. rank.



My dick deflated like someone popped it with a hypodermic needle and it was all I could do to not throw up all over her. I tried to keep going but it was like trying to fuck with a limp pool noodle. I threw her back on her back and got on top of her, and tried to gather up my strength and hardness for another go. It worked, and I finished, but it was never the same.

Epilogue: I told her about it a year down the line, over email, long after we had broken up. She was suitably chastened.

Lol, I was about to post an identical story almost word for word. I went down on the girl and she smelled completely clean. No vaginal odor whatsoever. We did a few positions and all was good, then I proceeded to doggy and started smelling pungent ass odor to the point that my face cringed up and I lost my boner. I tried my best to plow through but I couldn't. When I smell ass, it's over. I had to fake an orgasm and end it right there before I went completely limp.

Another weird thing was once when I fingered a girl in my car, it smelled up the entire cabin. It took several washes with soap and water to get the smell out from under my fingernails. I don't even know what the smell was. It wasn't funk, it wasn't fishy, it was just weird and very strong. And when I smashed this same girl on the bed, her vagina had this white creamy stuff that got on my bed spread that had the same smell and I had a hell of a time getting it out.

[Tytalus]

(12-12-2013 03:31 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

(12-12-2013 07:27 AM)augen sehen Wrote:  

This one really shook me, took my innocence and so on... and compared to some of these other stories, is basically nothing.

So I'd been going hard with this Japanese girl and she was always pretty fanatic about her hygiene. She never had BO, her pussy always smelled good, hair always under control and so on. Well, one day we were going at it in missionary, it was a hot summer's day and we had both started sweating. I was in the mood for doggy, so I flipped her over and started going for it with her at the edge of the bed and me standing on the floor.

And then it hit me. The smell of dried shit. The bitch hadn't wiped properly and it was so. fucking. rank.



My dick deflated like someone popped it with a hypodermic needle and it was all I could do to not throw up all over her. I tried to keep going but it was like trying to fuck with a limp pool noodle. I threw her back on her back and got on top of her, and tried to gather up my strength and hardness for another go. It worked, and I finished, but it was never the same.

Epilogue: I told her about it a year down the line, over email, long after we had broken up. She was suitably chastened.

Lol, I was about to post an identical story almost word for word. I went down on the girl and she smelled completely clean. No vaginal odor whatsoever. We did a few positions and all was good, then I proceeded to doggy and started smelling pungent ass odor to the point that my face cringed up and I lost my boner. I tried my best to plow through but I couldn't. When I smell ass, it's over. I had to fake an orgasm and end it right there before I went completely limp.

Another weird thing was once when I fingered a girl in my car, it smelled up the entire cabin. It took several washes with soap and water to get the smell out from under my fingernails. I don't even know what the smell was. It wasn't funk, it wasn't fishy, it was just weird and very strong. And when I smashed this same girl on the bed, her vagina had this white creamy stuff that got on my bed spread that had the same smell and I had a hell of a time getting it out.

Sometimes women's vag's produce mucus if there's a vaginal infection. Remember that they're self cleaning ovens on multiple levels.

[Basil Ransom]

EVERY single chubby girl I've ever fucked stinks to high heaven when she so much as breathes in bed.

There was also the girl I lost my virginity to - she was okay, but I didn't give a shit about her. At one point I went for doggy and got a huge whiff of ass/shit. Dumped her shortly after.

[Bushido]

Was banging this cute Taiwanese chick a few months back.

Fashionable and took care of her appearance but goddammit, she sometimes (not always) had the most evil breath. So bad I would avoid even kissing her and just bang her like a hooker.

Maybe diet-related? I didn't have the heart to break it to the poor girl...

[pointbreak]

I was banging a chick from San Diego doggy style...
Everything is great...
Until I look down, and what do I see on her butt...

Extra guac.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

(12-12-2013 05:18 AM)Flavius Aetius Wrote:  

The little slut (ex stripper) I saw yesterday gave me fleas from her filthy cats!!!!!! Picked her up at her place. She invites me in to see her cats and the hellhole place she calls a home (trash and dirty clothes everywhere). I pet them and they rub up against me in a friendly manner. Later in the car, the little strumpet tells me that she is going to have to buy anti-flea medicine for her cats and how expensive it is. I wished you had told me this before I entered your apartment. Now I have fleas and they itch like hell.

Don't worry, cat fleas can't reproduce from feeding on humans. Just take a shower, wash all the clothes you were wearing, vacuum your apartment and it should be ok. The real infestation occurs when you have an actual cat spreading these buggers and their eggs around, but on their own they're pretty harmless.

[Brisey]

I went on a date with a girl from work who lived out of town in the countryside. The date went well but she had a bit of a reputation for being a lunatic so I didn't want to take her to my place, on the way back to hers I pulled over at the side of some quiet country lane. I got the bang, but all the way through there was a really strong odour of manure, I wrote it off due to being next to a farm and carried on smashing it.
I dropped her off at her house and whilst driving home I picked my nose or something and noticed the same stench on my fingers.

Her box had reeked like a farmers field and it took me ages to get rid of the smell in my car.

[Zebra_Cakes]

Alright, this is not as bad as some have shared, but it's gross to me.

I have a thing for giving rimjobs. What can I say, I enjoy it. I'm making out with this girl and I decide that I want to give her one. I assumed (wrongly) that she was clean and showered. She gets on all fours and I make my way behind her. I proceed to get my mouth close to her asshole when my eye and nose simultaneously alert me to something.

She had dried feces caked on her asshole. And not just a little bit. An amount that would have taken several wipes to remove.

I inform her of the dried shit. She immediately starts crying and runs into the bathroom, locking it behind her.

I lay still, crouching on the bed. Stunned at first, followed by chucking and and a feeling of gratitude that my tongue didn't make contact with her asshole.

[augen sehen]

(12-12-2013 08:38 PM)dreambig Wrote:  

Was banging this cute Taiwanese chick a few months back.

Fashionable and took care of her appearance but goddammit, she sometimes (not always) had the most evil breath. So bad I would avoid even kissing her and just bang her like a hooker.

Maybe diet-related? I didn't have the heart to break it to the poor girl...

She probably needed to get herself to the dentist. Also could be too much seaweed and other funky stuff in her diet.

[AnonymousBosch]

I remember meeting a Spanish Girl at a house party. I was working on the notch and she'd agreed to the quieter venue bounce but wanted to use the bathroom first.

She was gone so long I was thinking I'd scared her off, but went to investigate and discovered her in the laundry, squatting awkwardly in the laundry sink, washing her arse.

She was extremely-embarrassed, but explained she'd gone to the toilet, went to use the bidet, and was horrified there wasn't one. I explained you'd get them in the international hotels, but Australian's generally don't have them. I could see her opinion of us as a people instantly plummeted.

She said she simply couldn't bear to go anywhere being 'so dirty'. Given all these dried shit stories, she had a point.

[soup]

Uh are getting a girls deodorant or arm pit wetness on me.

[speakeasy]

(12-13-2013 03:11 PM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:  

I remember meeting a Spanish Girl at a house party. I was working on the notch and she'd agreed to the quieter venue bounce but wanted to use the bathroom first.

She was gone so long I was thinking I'd scared her off, but went to investigate and discovered her in the laundry, squatting awkwardly in the laundry sink, washing her arse.

She was extremely-embarrassed, but explained she'd gone to the toilet, went to use the bidet, and was horrified there wasn't one. I explained you'd get them in the international hotels, but Australian's generally don't have them. I could see her opinion of us as a people instantly plummeted.

She said she simply couldn't bear to go anywhere being 'so dirty'. Given all these dried shit stories, she had a point.

You can use moistened toilet paper. Has the same effect as a baby wipe. It's not a bidet but it's better than nothing. Sometimes after eating lots of fiber you take a nice clean dump and when you wipe your ass there's literally nothing on the paper. Having a high fiber diet keeps your ass cleaner.

[wi30]

I found a quarter stuck to a girl's ass cheek while I was banging her.

Never said anything and to this day I have no idea where it came from or how long it had been there.