[soup]

Anyone have any good tricks for getting them out of things like sheets and wall to wall carpeting?

[RexImperator]

An enzyme-based cleaner might help with the proteins.

Have you ever turned on a blacklight to check how clean the place actually is? You might be missing more than you think...

[soup]

(12-02-2013 10:49 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  

An enzyme-based cleaner might help with the proteins.

Have you ever turned on a blacklight to check how clean the place actually is? You might be missing more than you think...

uhh.. there are places in my house where it's been building up for years.

Starting to look like frosting by the floor of my computer.

[Aliblahba]

Is this thread necessary?

[Justice Beaver]

(12-02-2013 11:11 AM)soup Wrote:  

(12-02-2013 10:49 AM)RexImperator Wrote:  

An enzyme-based cleaner might help with the proteins.

Have you ever turned on a blacklight to check how clean the place actually is? You might be missing more than you think...

uhh.. there are places in my house where it's been building up for years.

Starting to look like frosting by the floor of my computer.

[Kickb]

Heat up some grapeseed oil and pour It on the spots. Let it sink in for five minutes then vacuum it up.

The grapeseed oil acts as a conduit and turns your splooge into a hard rock salt like substance.

[Virtus]

You guys should just get a cumbox for all that stuff...

[soup]

(12-02-2013 11:23 AM)kickboxer Wrote:  

Heat up some grapeseed oil and pour It on the spots. Let it sink in for five minutes then vacuum it up.

The grapeseed oil acts as a conduit and turns your splooge into a hard rock salt like substance.

Yeah, but this stuff's already hardened from years of drippage. What will break it up?

There's layers building.

There's also a big white pussy cream stain on my black couch from a girl who came over a month ago.

With all of this, I figured that friction from normal use would just loosen up the stains. I guess there is more semen amassing on the floor than the friction required to break it up.

Are there any special cleaners to handle this?

[Kickb]

Sounds likes your negligence will require something a bit stronger.

I recommend Scrubbin Bubbles



They will srcub the stains out for you.

[soup]

(12-02-2013 11:45 AM)kickboxer Wrote:  

Sounds likes your negligence will require something a bit stronger.

I recommend Scrubbin Bubbles



They will srcub the stains out for you.

Even out of synthetic office carpeting material?

[Kickb]

Especially out of synthetic office carpeting materials.

[soup]

(12-02-2013 12:06 PM)kickboxer Wrote:  

Especially out of synthetic office carpeting materials.

Is it toxic like bleach?

[Kickb]

No, man its just bubbles that are designed to scrub.

[MHaes]

soup you seem really concerned about not fucking up a carpet that you have already jizzed all over.

[soup]

(12-02-2013 12:22 PM)MHaes Wrote:  

soup you seem really concerned about not fucking up a carpet that you have already jizzed all over.

Nah- I know that it's messed up already. I'm doing damage control here.

[Kickb]

Alternatively, you could call your leasing office and request a carpet cleaning. Just let them know what you have done and it should get taken care of.

You might even get them to do it for free!

[lskdfjldsf]

Reminds me of the signs they used to put near our dorm showers telling dudes not to jerk off in the shower because it clogs the drains. No joke, it wrecks carpets and plumbing.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

(12-02-2013 12:42 PM)Blick Mang Wrote:  

Reminds me of the signs they used to put near our dorm showers telling dudes not to jerk off in the shower because it clogs the drains. No joke, it wrecks carpets and plumbing.

It does? What are we, aliens?

[soup]

(12-02-2013 12:58 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

(12-02-2013 12:42 PM)Blick Mang Wrote:  

Reminds me of the signs they used to put near our dorm showers telling dudes not to jerk off in the shower because it clogs the drains. No joke, it wrecks carpets and plumbing.

It does? What are we, aliens?

This stuff is like light version of fiberglass when it hardens. I think prisoners make shivs out of hardened semen.

[Days of Broken Arrows]

I'd direct you to the ultimate expert for this but, unfortunately, she's said to be a very private person these days:

http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/07/23/now-...r-privacy/

[Remington]

Try Scotchgard, they even have a Stain Prevention & Removal Guide.

http://www.scotchgard.com/wps/portal/3M/...tainGuide/

[Aer]

Baking Soda and Apple Cider Vinegar.

[Dusty]