For those who are thinking that marrying a "Christian" girl is going to be a safer bet, head over to the
Family Life section of the Catholic Answers forum some time and it will quickly dispel any illusions you might have about "Christian" women. Here's a sample:
Can I raise this child if I'm not the father?
Catholic man gets cuckolded by his wife, forum spends nine pages telling him how he should get over it for the sake of the child, how he was probably to blame by pushing her away emotionally by spending too much time at work, how Joseph probably felt the same way when the Mary became pregnant (seriously):
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"Whatever the two of you do, it needs to be in the best interest of the child, the most innocent all. That question in your title is something only you and she can answer with prayer and discussion."
"Honestly, I think that Joesph had that same questions when he found out that Mary was pregnant and he had never been with her. I think you can raise this child."
"In the end, it's time to do what Jesus would do, even though it's hard and scary. Jesus wouldn't run out and get a divorce at the first sign of trouble. Jesus wouldn't encourage your wife to have an abortion because it's convenient and people want to forget their emotional trauma. An abortion will only add to the emotional trauma, not lessen it."
"This child has been entrusted by God to the OP and his wife, because they are united in marriage, regardless of what deviation from God's plan may have been involved in the child's conception."
Plot twist in the whole thing is that he's white and his wife cheated on him with a black man so he's got pretty much zero chance of playing it off as his own child.
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The man my wife had the affair with was African American, while she and I are both Caucasian. This presents another fear as it would be clear to the child that I'm not the true father. How would I explain this to him/her? How would I explain this to others? Many thoughts keep passing through my mind, and I don't know what to do.
For comparison, here's how this "Christian" forum responds when the situation is reversed and the husband's infidelity results in a bastard child:
Husband's Affair and Offspring Thereof
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"Hon, first of all, do NOT accept his attempts to blame you for his sin!"
"I can only agree that he has to take full responsibility for his failure of loyalty trust and his vows."
"Please do not allow your husband to guilt you into thinking you were somehow responsible for him committing this sin. The blame is ALL on him, NOT YOU. "
"If you took the child it would be a reminder of your husbands unfaithfulness to his marriage vows every time you looked at the child innocent as the child is, best bet is to get your husband to step up to the plate instead of trying the oldest trick in the book blaming someone else for his failings and lust"
"Don't let anyone force you take a baby that is not yours"
"Cheating makes me livid. My husband knows that if he cheats, I'm gone (or he is dead because I'm a deadly shot)."
Just looked on there today and there's this gem from some reformed slut who's now ready to reclaim her virginity after years of riding the carousel.
Born Again Virginity
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IMHO, a person's ❤ is far more important than one mistake. If in your heart you want to be chaste, that's awesome. Confession is such a wonderful sacrament in that we do get to have new beginnings without the anchor of continually reproaching ourselves. If you meet someone and fall in love, be honest, although I can't imagine that the fact you had prior experience would make a difference to your future spouse. If it does make a difference, you would not want to be with that person regardless.
By and large, the appeal of Christianity for women appears to be all about using it as a justification for why you can't hold them accountable for anything they've done and must forgive them no matter what, because "that's what Jesus would do."