[rob_brasileiro]

I’m an American who just moved to Campinas, Sao Paulo literally a few days ago.

I was just walking around in one of the big local malls, Iguatemi, and noticed (what seems to me) a strange thing. Despite the occasional direct eye contact from girls, I’ve noticed that many of them go out of their way to AVOID eye contact.

For example, a girl is coming towards you, and you’re well-dressed, well-mannered, acting completely casual, and not trying to initiate eye contact. The girl turns her head so far away from you that it’s comical. (Imagine her walking straight ahead, but with her head turned a complete 90 degrees to the left.)

This has happened enough times already that I’m beginning to wonder if they find me repulsive! It’s a bit amusing, since I’m a decent-looking guy who’s had some lovely girlfriends, but I can’t help but be a little concerned since a number of them (even some average to below-average lookers) have displayed this behavior, and without the slightest provocation from me.

My intuition tells me that some of them could possibly be interested in me ... but if so they have a damn strange way of showing it.

Would truly appreciate any comments or feedback that any of you are willing to share ...

[Dash Global]

I noticed the same thing in Rio! I couldnt believe it because im a young good looking guy and im use to getting good eye contact everytime I go out in most cities and counties. But I swear, I wasnt getting hardly NOTHING in Rio! I prob just should have went out of my way and approach girls without the normal IOI's I like to collect first.

[InternationPlayboy]

I never noticed it. I've been to the same mall you're talking about. There are some damn fine women in Campinas, I think you'll like it. It's a university city. I didn't spend more than a day there but I hear real good things.

[oldnemesis]

(11-21-2010 04:33 PM)Dash Global Wrote:  

I noticed the same thing in Rio! I couldnt believe it because im a young good looking guy and im use to getting good eye contact everytime I go out in most cities and counties. But I swear, I wasnt getting hardly NOTHING in Rio!

In my culture it is considered impolite to maintain a steady eye contact with strangers. Anything over a quick glance is considered staring. Probably it's the same in Brazil.

[Dash Global]

i hope ur right oldnemesis. lol

[InternationPlayboy]

(11-21-2010 08:25 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

(11-21-2010 04:33 PM)Dash Global Wrote:  

I noticed the same thing in Rio! I couldnt believe it because im a young good looking guy and im use to getting good eye contact everytime I go out in most cities and counties. But I swear, I wasnt getting hardly NOTHING in Rio!

In my culture it is considered impolite to maintain a steady eye contact with strangers. Anything over a quick glance is considered staring. Probably it's the same in Brazil.

I definitely don't think it's the same way in Brazil, especially with the oposite sex. Maybe some of those girls were just shy. I notice sometimes when girls are attracted and a little nervious when talking to me they will look away from me in a kinda cute/awekward way.

[glassjawed]

(11-22-2010 12:10 AM)InternationPlayboy Wrote:  

(11-21-2010 08:25 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

(11-21-2010 04:33 PM)Dash Global Wrote:  

I noticed the same thing in Rio! I couldnt believe it because im a young good looking guy and im use to getting good eye contact everytime I go out in most cities and counties. But I swear, I wasnt getting hardly NOTHING in Rio!

In my culture it is considered impolite to maintain a steady eye contact with strangers. Anything over a quick glance is considered staring. Probably it's the same in Brazil.

I definitely don't think it's the same way in Brazil, especially with the oposite sex. Maybe some of those girls were just shy. I notice sometimes when girls are attracted and a little nervious when talking to me they will look away from me in a kinda cute/awekward way.

That's an ioi..approach. Its like a shit test, they want to make sure you're a man who has the balls to approach there and who rly knows what it means. If they weren't interested they would ignore u casually. A lot of the time this will mean the girl has a bf and wants to avoid u bc she finds u attractive but who cares about that, go for it, you'll find out fast anyway if that's the case.

[Rocco81]

Also depending on how you are carrying yourself and what you are wearing might be the issue.

Once I was in Eastern Europe for a wedding. I was in a nice suit etc...there was a girl I thought was gorgeous who was working in a resteraunt a friend of mine owned. I would go near to her in the bar area and she just acted like a straight up bitch to me. Kind of like you are saying with turning her head so far in one direction when I was near her, it was obvious I was in her mind.

Long story short I did end up talking to her, and it turned later when I spoke to my friend, she was from a very poor part of an ex communist country. She had an idea that all Americans were rich and snobby and that we only cared about money. This chic had no idea I was only dressed up to go to a wedding and assumed I was trying to show flash when in this blue collar area it certainly wasn't needed. It really just boiled down to an inferiority thing, which I can see def. happening in Brazil as it did in East Europe.

More than likely though, in most other cultures the women don't want to seem pushy or slutty in inviting a man over with their eyes. That is a masculin role in most cultures. Remember these aren't UK or N. American sluts who give out blowjobs like candy and go approaching men and slapping dudes asses like our fat sluts do.(well most of them anyways)

[rob_brasileiro]

Thanks everyone for the feedback.

I agree with glassjawed, that it's an IOI. They wouldn't invest so much energy into their reaction if they weren't interested.

After I posted, a girl at the office here (and another since her) who had previously avoided eye contact, were staring at me when I wasn't looking. When I looked back at them, they continued to stare at me, without so much as blinking!

So, on to the approach ...

[Vacancier Permanent]

So Rob, how did it go? Tell us how things are unfolding in there. If you work/live full time in Brasil, you'll have your hands so full that you wouldn't know where to look with all the women literally throwing themselves at you. It can become overwhelming.

[Brazilianguy]

In the whole south and southeast of Brazil it is rare for women to stare at guys.

But this is a blessing in disguise, since most guys are also shy and don´t have enough confidence to approach.

My advice: use direct game. You´ll probably be the only guy in town who has the balls to do this (I know the Campinas region well enough to tell you this) and this will be a major plus with the women.

Indirect or shy guy and AFC game works better in the north and northeast regions of Brazil (where girls are aggressive).
In the south and southeast always try to be direct.

[InternationPlayboy]

(11-26-2010 01:10 PM)Brazilianguy Wrote:  

In the whole south and southeast of Brazil it is rare for women to stare at guys.

But this is a blessing in disguise, since most guys are also shy and don´t have enough confidence to approach.

My advice: use direct game. You´ll probably be the only guy in town who has the balls to do this (I know the Campinas region well enough to tell you this) and this will be a major plus with the women.

Indirect or shy guy and AFC game works better in the north and northeast regions of Brazil (where girls are aggressive).
In the south and southeast always try to be direct.

Huh? You don't think men in the South and South East use direct game? I remember going out with a Brazilian friend of mine and he would walk up to a girl and practically put her in a choke hold trying to pick her up. He would just rap his arm around her neck, super agressive, and try to kiss her, not even say a word nothing, just go for it. I saw more direct game in South East Brazil than I have seen anywhere else.

[Chaz]

I saw more direct game in South East Brazil than I have seen anywhere else.
Today 01:06 PM


Ummm... no offense, IntlPlayboy, but isn't your entire experience in Brazil limited to about a month (or two?) in Vittoria, Rio, and SP?

Still, that is more experience than I have there.

[InternationPlayboy]

(11-26-2010 04:41 PM)Chaz Wrote:  

I saw more direct game in South East Brazil than I have seen anywhere else.
Today 01:06 PM


Ummm... no offense, IntlPlayboy, but isn't your entire experience in Brazil limited to about a month (or two?) in Vittoria, Rio, and SP?

Still, that is more experience than I have there.

Try 6 months in Various places in Minas, Santa Catarina, Sao Paulo, Rio, and Espirito Santo. I was there long enough to learn Portuguese. Plus, that 6 months I probably had tighter connections than many people who live there for years, and ONLY hung out and lived with Brazilians and their families with an acception of maybe 3 or 4 other gringos I met up with for a total of maybe 5 days. I spent time in many different places, including little whole in the wall towns to Sao Paulo, the 4th biggest city in the world, to the country side, to the beaches, to farms. I hung out with many different groups/types of people. I got to see lots of different points of view of many different Brazilian's lives. I am extremely grateful for the experience I had and the people who took me in, because without them my trip wouldn't have been what it was. I felt I got to really experience the Brazilian lifestyle and culture, and wasn't just stuck staying in a hostel or hotel with other gringos (Though I stayed in a hotel for a little over a month of my trip, but still ate dinner almost every night with my friends or girlfriends families. And there were no gringos in the hotel, and pretty much non in the city either). So I'm not even just talking from experiences in clubs, I'm talking bar-b-que's, birthday parties, house parties, kick backs, smoke outs, going to favelas to buy drugs (I watched a kid, probably 8 years old, run up the favela to get my friend blow), soccer games, barzinhos, Christmas, escola de samba, day-to-day life, and all sorts of social events in between. Though I only spent 6 months in Brazil, I feel like I saw more of the culture and lifestyle than most people would see living there for a year + unless they were set up with a similar situation I was. The way I was set up so well was because I befriended all these Brazilians I stayed with in the states and was lucky that they were all such great people with such great families, they took me in as one of there own, as I would do the same for them. I would do just about anything for those kids. One of them called me last year and asked if a friend of theirs I'd never met could stay at my house for 2 weeks. I saved the kid more than $1500 on hotel rooms and hooked him up with free snowboard rentals and showed him around the whole mountain, because I know they would do the same for me. This is also how I learned Portuguese so fast, I surrounded myself in it, even dated a girl that didn't speak English. Not only that, I still practice with multiple Brazilian girls and friends.

[Brazilianguy]

Hey, Int. Playboy, what´s up?

What I meant with direct game is using a direct opener and being open and sincere about your intentions, not being a caveman and grabbing the girl by force.
What generally happens is you get a bunch of shy guys who get drunk and then turn into cavemen and go grabbing the girls. Outside of micaretas this kind of approach doesn´t work and girls don´t like it. This is a pretty lame type of direct game.

What I was suggesting Rob do is go up to the girls with something like "hey, I saw you passing by and just had to say hi" or even the classic "look, I think you´re hot and just had to come talk to you". This kind of approach is very well received in the south and south and southeast, where there´s a lack of ballsy guys.

In the north and northeast, however, women are used to that type of stuff, so you can go AFC (hi, what´s your name? Where do you study?) because chicks will take the initiative to sexually escalate.

[Chaz]

IntlPlayboy, ok, sorry man! I did not realize that you were so deep into Brazil! Sounds like you had some great experiences there, and met some wonderful people. Cool!

Brazilianguy, thanks for the explanation and advice about game in Brazil!

[colombia]

I kind of experienced the same thing when I was in Rio. It must be a Brazil thing. I found the women there to be a bit tougher to get in the sac, but I still hooked up nevertheless. However, I've been to Colombia many times and never experienced that. That's one of the reasons why I favor Colombian women over Brazilian women.