rooshvforum.network is a fully functional forum: you can search, register, post new threads etc...
Old accounts are inaccessible: register a new one, or recover it when possible. x


drinking, depression and rapid aging
#1

drinking, depression and rapid aging

When I was in my twenties and early thirties, I loved drinking. It's a tough call, but all in all, I may have loved it more than anything else.

I was never an alcoholic or close to it, I didn't drink every day or every other day. But there was nothing I would look forward to more than a drinking night, and sometimes when the mood was right, a drinking day.

I loved snapping a tape or a CD into one of the great Walkmen that Sony used to make and walking out with one of my favorite songs to start the night in my ears. At this time of year, the fall, I might be going out in the early gloaming listening to Robert Palmer's cover of Early in the Morning. I would go to one of my bars -- probably the genteel expensive bar to begin with, where I might be alone at the bar with the windows facing the street at dusk. I would get a Stoli martini, then another, then a third. If I felt a certain way, I'd put the Walkman right back on and maybe track through Steely Dan's The Royal Scam right there at the bar. The bartender liked me and this was tolerated. That would be the start of my night, though later I would stop drinking martinis and switch to shots of Stoli on the rocks as I met some friends in a bar across the street I would bounce to.

I was blessed with a high tolerance so the night could easily end up being a 10 drink night and although I would be very drunk by the end of it I could maintain coherence. I am not naturally social but as the night went on I became more so -- I would speak to friends and sometimes strangers with passion and eloquence.

Other times, maybe some day in February with dirty snow lying on the ground it was time for the warmth of brown drinks. I would head into the bar and drink shots of Johnny Walker Black, neat, followed by bottles of Heineken that I scrupled to pour from the bottle into a tall glass. When you love something, the details matter.

I loved it, and for a while, a long while, it was all good.

Then I started noticing something. Sometimes I would feel that the drinks didn't seem right anymore. It's hard to explain -- how something is and isn't the same. I started noticing that the other times, the dry times, I would feel a little crabby. I might be watching a movie or reading a book that would normally hold my interest and it's not that I had no interest in it, but it just didn't have the same quality. There was a strange perfunctoriness to it, like it was more like going through the motions that actually being into something.

I noticed this and I did something, though I barely knew why I was doing it. I stopped drinking, from one day to another. I was in my very early thirties. I haven't done it since then.

Some of the friends who shared my love of drinking have stayed with it. Here is what I see:

One dude, one of my best friends, kept drinking, maybe even harder than before. Not to the point of becoming a drunk, just a guy that drinks pretty hard. In about 2-3 years, between the ages of 36 and 38, he seemed to age about 10 years. Especially his face became more bloated and softer in a bad way. He fell into a serious depression and is struggling to come out of it.

In other guys I know who kept drinking hard past their mid 30s it's not as extreme but I see subtle things. Subtle but dreadful, to be honest. The guys just don't seem as alive to the moment when they're not drinking -- there is a kind of tiredness even when they should be into something. They've gotten a little irritable, a little ungenerous, maybe even a little angry and resentful. And these are not loser types, they are winner types in every sense. That's what is so grim to see, winners subtly acting and thinking like losers.

I think that drinking hard past your mid thirties is a tricky and dangerous game. It beats guys up physically and spiritually in ways that are not always easy to see but that catch up with you. This is especially true for men that love drinking and are good at it -- there is a temptation to go to the well a few times too often, and then suddenly the well is poisoned. It's not about being stumbling drunk or not able to do your work or liver cirrhosis -- if you're at that level it's pretty self explanatory. But it's guys who can and do control it but keep drinking hard into their mid thirties let alone their forties that I think are in real danger of having their morale and best qualities of heart and mind lessened, and aging in a subtle but, in the end, terrible way.

I hope this helps someone...

same old shit, sixes and sevens Shaft...
Reply
#2

drinking, depression and rapid aging

I hate this thread, because I'm drinking on a Sunday night, I'm 33 years old, and I know you're right. [Image: angry.gif]
Reply
#3

drinking, depression and rapid aging

Man, I'm facing this crossroads myself and I think about it a lot. I find it more difficult to have casual conversations when I'm not drinking. I don't struggle for words, but my tone tends to be very logical and perhaps a bit intense. Instead of just bantering for hours like I can do over a few drinks, without the booze I get very focused and task oriented and my conversations go more towards problem solving or addressing some sort of issue rather than just verbally meandering in a pleasant way. This is antithetical to the type of conversation that works for me with girls, especially at night. I have to consciously focus on keeping it light and breezy. The problem is that I too have that passionate love of booze, so I struggle to cut myself off after a couple drinks or half a bottle of wine. I don't want to be the "I don't drink" guy who can't handle a glass of wine, but at the same time after that first glass of wine the rest of the bottle or even a second bottle looks delicious, and with each glass consumed my ability to not have another glass diminishes.
Reply
#4

drinking, depression and rapid aging

Thanks for the heads up.
Reply
#5

drinking, depression and rapid aging

Quote: (10-20-2013 06:45 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  

They've gotten a little irritable, a little ungenerous, maybe even a little angry and resentful. And these are not loser types, they are winner types in every sense. That's what is so grim to see, winners subtly acting and thinking like losers.

This reminds me of a phrase in a review of the last episode of Mad Men:
"This intervention wasn’t just about alcoholism alone, but assholism, a chronic condition that has a chicken-egg relationship to drinking."
Reply
#6

drinking, depression and rapid aging

Quote: (10-20-2013 10:30 PM)SeanBateman Wrote:  

Man, I'm facing this crossroads myself and I think about it a lot. I find it more difficult to have casual conversations when I'm not drinking. I don't struggle for words, but my tone tends to be very logical and perhaps a bit intense. Instead of just bantering for hours like I can do over a few drinks, without the booze I get very focused and task oriented and my conversations go more towards problem solving or addressing some sort of issue rather than just verbally meandering in a pleasant way. This is antithetical to the type of conversation that works for me with girls, especially at night. I have to consciously focus on keeping it light and breezy. The problem is that I too have that passionate love of booze, so I struggle to cut myself off after a couple drinks or half a bottle of wine. I don't want to be the "I don't drink" guy who can't handle a glass of wine, but at the same time after that first glass of wine the rest of the bottle or even a second bottle looks delicious, and with each glass consumed my ability to not have another glass diminishes.

That post could have been written by me, word by word.

I don't know your personal situation, but perhaps it has to do with the kind of work you do? Too much logical thinking, too much responsibility and too much competition?

That hard focus which brings results in business, doesn't translate to vibing with others and just having a good time.
Reply
#7

drinking, depression and rapid aging

The drunk guys out there who get too logical when dry -

Try taking l-theanine when sober. It's been talked about on here extensively.

It's a good substitute, not for getting intoxicated, but for slightly loosening up for overly logical minded and self-conscious guys.

The better and more long lasting solution is obvious but essential -

Do day game.

Start gaming girls everywhere you go. Do it at the coffee shop, the clothing store, the grocery store, the train station, the book store, etc.
Reply
#8

drinking, depression and rapid aging

I'm going through the same thing. I don't think its the drinking so much as it is other factors such as the realities of life setting in. Drinking is just a part of the larger problem.

I have noticed as I have gotten older, music means less and less to me, as does most things in life. I used to read the paper daily and everything I could get my hands on, but now I have a huge stack of unread magazines.

When I was younger, I would go out and I'd have a lot of different friends I could call up and meet up for drinks. I'd be out on the town every night, on the cusp of social activities, parties, networking, going to the gym every day, etc, however as time gets on and you start to get into your mid-30s alot of your original social circle has settled down, gotten married and had kids and if you don't have any outlet to go out, you feel a bit stuck.

Only cure i've found for that is travelling.
Reply
#9

drinking, depression and rapid aging

^^^I had this discussion with Slubu last night. Most of my college friends are married to fat women + kids. Not shockingly they are miserable and live vicariously through me.
Reply
#10

drinking, depression and rapid aging

Drinking alcohol is one of the most depraved things a man can do.

God damn, it's so much fun though
Reply
#11

drinking, depression and rapid aging

@PartyonBro- You can be stuck or just in a rut. Its all a frame of mind. Go out solo. Make new friends.

One of my good buddies is mid 30s, loaded from a dot-com company, married and then divorced. He parties w/all the younger cats- mid 20s, and dates girls in mid to late 20s.

One of the greatest things about LA is that going to different areas of LA is like mini-traveling. Thai-town, K-town, SM, Venice, HollyW, Echo Park, Pasadena, Glendale, etc etc. Maybe switch up your living situation to light a fire under your ass. Break you out of that shell of complacency.

WIA- For most of men, our time being masters of our own fate, kings in our own castles is short. Even those of us in the game will eventually succumb to ease of servitude rather than deal with the malaise of solitude
Reply
#12

drinking, depression and rapid aging

Quote: (10-21-2013 12:37 AM)DVY Wrote:  

@PartyonBro- go out solo. Make new friends.

One of my good buddies is mid 30s, loaded from a dot-com company, married and then divorced. He parties w/all the younger cats- mid 20s, and dates girls in mid to late 20s.

One of the greatest things about LA is that going to different areas of LA is like mini-traveling. Thai-town, K-town, SM, Venice, HollyW, Echo Park, Pasadena, Glendale, etc etc. Maybe switch up your living situation to light a fire under your ass. Break you out of that shell of complacency.

Oh, I still really enjoy the nightlife and do hit the town solo and with friends. Nothing has changed in that direction whatsoever, which is why I think a lot of this is due to factors outside of drinking/nightlife/traveling. I know that I was complaining a bit in my earlier post about my friends not being around to go out at night, but when it really came down to nightlife/pickup/etc,. they were holding me back more than anything.

I think the problems are a little deeper than that, particularly career satisfaction and the rat race I'm trying to free myself from. That's my main cause of complacency of this all, I want to break FURTHER away from the "righteous path" that most people embark on. My job has sucked more and more, just a normal office job that I know I need to escape out of but am having problems figuring out what to do next. Maybe when I was younger I was a bit more ambitious and driven, hence the reading, socializing, etc. I have been trying to go to more "networking" and business type of events, but then I find myself being more judgmental and negative about them.

I'm working on it though.
Reply
#13

drinking, depression and rapid aging

My issues with drinking, which probably have an effect on the aging process, are lack of quality sleep, weaker immune system, hangovers, and weight gain.

If you're not just talking about knocking back a beer or two and assuming you're talking about drinking a lot in the night life scene, well that goes hand in hand with staying out late, when you stay out late and drink a lot you're not going to be getting a very good nights sleep.

Alcohol is bad for you as far as I'm concerned and is slightly poisoning the body, couple with staying out very late, not sleeping well, and often being outside in the cold late at night while under dressed, is a recipe for a weak immune system. When you have a weak immune system, you are much more prone to getting sick, and just overall not functioning at your peak health.

Hangovers suck and the older I get the worse they are, when I'm really hungover I don't feel like doing anything, which means that the entire day basically becomes a write off, and I don't accomplish anything or work out.

Finally, if you are drinking beer, you're basically throwing down liquid carbs into your system. Everyone should know that carbs make you fat, but what a lot of people don't realize that beer makes you fat. I try to stick with mixed drinks and lighter beers and avoid the heavy micro brews like IPA, but even then mixed drinks have a lot of sugar, and even lighter beers add up to a lot of carbs if you drink several of them.

Overall, I've moved away from drinking in my lifestyle, and reserve it to one or two nights a week to get out into the nightlife and try to mack on women. I'm an herbsman for better or worse, but for sure it's better for ones health in the long term than the drinking lifestyle.
Reply
#14

drinking, depression and rapid aging

The weird thing is, I was probably in my best shape when I was drinking heavily (several times per week). Even when i was younger and stopped drinking, I'd gain weight and got lazier as I replaced drinking with eating or just being lazy.

It did the opposite of what one would expect. I could think clearer, I was more aggressive, I would skip dinner and instead just drink up. Now i just drink maybe once or twice a week.

I might incorporate more drinking, spread out and see what changes occur. Its kind of the opposite of what you would expect. I think the thing is, when I don't drink, I get too caught up and overthink things, drinking is kind of a release from that and frees my mind a bit.

I was in Germany recently and noticed that even though they are probably one of the most solid economies on earth right now, they treat alcohol, particularly beer as if it were water. Perhaps there is something about that, drinking alcohol as an adjunct to a productive life.

I am reminded of this little quip I read about in some book:

Quote:Quote:

It is time to elect a new world leader, and your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates:

Candidate A: Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B: He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whisky every evening.

Candidate C: He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and hasn't had any extramarital affairs.

Which of these candidates would be your choice?


Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt
Candidate B is Winston Churchill
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler
Reply
#15

drinking, depression and rapid aging

A lot of people can't tolerate alcohol. There is also such a thing as post acute withdrawal (PAW) where you suffer long term effects of drinking. I think I'm starting to not tolerate alcohol as much, and I'm only in my mid-twenties.

I've noticed what the OP is talking about in people who are beyond thirty: they look much older than they are.
Reply
#16

drinking, depression and rapid aging

Quote: (10-21-2013 01:25 AM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

My issues with drinking, which probably have an effect on the aging process, are lack of quality sleep, weaker immune system, hangovers, and weight gain.

All of these happened to me.

plus

1) Opportunity cost. While you were drunk, you could have been learning a language or a musical instrument. You never get that 4 hours or whatever back.

2) Once you're over 30, WEIGHT GAIN

3) If you tolerate alcohol well, that's BAD. The worst alcoholics don't get hangovers, their kidneys or whatever are too strong. Meanwhile, their brains are changing to adapt to alcohol, and their lives empty out to make room for it.
Reply
#17

drinking, depression and rapid aging

I'm probably bordering on alcoholic.

Moving to Poland in the near future probably isn't great for me. I'd probably be best moving to some some uber-religious shithole where alcohol wasn't available. Three months and I'd be dry as a bone, down twenty pounds and in the best shape of my life. My liver would recover, my spirits would improve and my productivity would skyrocket.

Check out my occasionally updated travel thread - The Wroclaw Gambit II: Dzięki Bogu - as I prepare to emigrate to Poland.
Reply
#18

drinking, depression and rapid aging

A lower level of testosterone has a much bigger effect on guys mentally and physically as they age than does reasonable drinking and explains a lot of the symptoms described in the OP-irritability, lack of zest, weight gain.

"If anything's gonna happen, it's gonna happen out there!- Captain Ron
Reply
#19

drinking, depression and rapid aging

Churchill was a badass... But he did have a lot of health problems.

If only you knew how bad things really are.
Reply
#20

drinking, depression and rapid aging

Quote: (10-21-2013 01:25 AM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

I'm an herbsman for better or worse, but for sure it's better for ones health in the long term than the drinking lifestyle.

I'm curious, how much do you smoke, and what can you tell me of the long-term effects compared to drinking?

RVF Fearless Coindogger Crew
Reply
#21

drinking, depression and rapid aging

The hack that it did it for me is switching alcohols. I drink sake on a bigger night out- I think my love of sushi/thai/korean foods here plays into it.

I love taking shots and still do, but sake is 15% compared to 40% for vodka. Its more the social aspect of drinking than the actual buzz.

I stopped chugging drink, and starting smoking weed to supplement my buzz. Ill drink 2-3 drinks (10 shots of sake) to start and smoke a joint w/some girls halfway thru the night. Not ideal solution, but its the best I've come up with.

Too much weed= sap motivation, hurts my short-term memory, and makes me more introverted
Too much alcohol= bad hangovers, sloppiness, decreased inhibitions and poor decision-making.

WIA- For most of men, our time being masters of our own fate, kings in our own castles is short. Even those of us in the game will eventually succumb to ease of servitude rather than deal with the malaise of solitude
Reply
#22

drinking, depression and rapid aging

In my teens and 20s, I didn't like drinking but I did it because that's what my friends did. In my 30s I started liking it. I liked the buzz, it made me social and it brought excitement. I started hitting strip clubs for awhile, and being buzzed there used to be a lot of fun. But I always hated the hang overs. I always have bad quality sleep when I drink.

In my mid 30s I dated a girl for 5 years who didn't drink. During that time, I didn't drink much at all. I liked the feeling of waking up on Sunday feeling refreshed.

I still drink, but not much. Once a week or so, and no more than 2 or 3 beers if that.

I have friends who drink harder now than when we were in our 20s. They're totally fucked up. They're angry a lot, and lost their humor and charm. Bloated. the aging process has not been kind. I don't like being around them.

Take care of those titties for me.
Reply
#23

drinking, depression and rapid aging

Quote: (10-21-2013 08:56 AM)thebassist Wrote:  

Quote: (10-21-2013 01:25 AM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

I'm an herbsman for better or worse, but for sure it's better for ones health in the long term than the drinking lifestyle.

I'm curious, how much do you smoke, and what can you tell me of the long-term effects compared to drinking?

If you do a lot of it while you're 16-20, chances are you'll look 5-10 years younger for the rest of your life.
Reply
#24

drinking, depression and rapid aging

Quote: (10-21-2013 11:49 AM)Rutting Elephant Wrote:  

Quote: (10-21-2013 08:56 AM)thebassist Wrote:  

Quote: (10-21-2013 01:25 AM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

I'm an herbsman for better or worse, but for sure it's better for ones health in the long term than the drinking lifestyle.

I'm curious, how much do you smoke, and what can you tell me of the long-term effects compared to drinking?

If you do a lot of it while you're 16-20, chances are you'll look 5-10 years younger for the rest of your life.


I don't know about all that, what's your basis for thinking that smoking a lot when you're young will make you look younger as you get older?

I will say that I have seen a lot of people who have been long term herb smokers that do look a lot younger than most people, especially Rastas in Jamaica, but I mostly chalk that up to a lot of herb smokers live "alternative lifestyles" that tend to be healthier than the mainstream that doesn't smoke.

When I say that they tend to live healthier lifestyles, I mean they usually are more laid back, and not necessarily as concerned with getting ahead in the rat race, or settling down with a wife, kids, mortgage by the time the are 30. All that stuff equals stress and responsibility and smoking chills you out and relaxes you and people who do it a lot value being relaxed and thus not stressed out. Plus a lot of herb smokers are into healthy diet, yoga, working out, outdoor activities, etc.

As far as what's healthier smoking or drinking that's a no brainer. As far as I'm concerned smoking herbs more detrimental effect is making you lazy and unmotivated, but those aren't really health issues. The main drawback to your health is the obvious of smoking and inhaling hot smoke into your lungs, but now a days that can be allieviated by using a vaporizer which only creates a vapor which is not harmful to your lungs.

Personally, I like smoking better, but I used a double chambered glass water pipe, which filters out the impurities, and I also only smoke organic. Back in the day I would smoke a lot of blunts and smoke crappy weed which was definitely not organically grown, and it was hard on my lungs. I'd cough up a lot of brown shit from my lungs, I had shortness of breath, and would get sick with bronchitis in the winter. That said I was a heavy smoker, probably averaging about 2-3 blunts or joints per day, and another 2-3 bowl packs or bong rips.

Any how all the shit about smoking weed killing brain cells is all bullshit as far as I'm concerned, a lot of the world's most brilliant people have smoked weed in their lifetimes. As long as you are smoking a moderate dose of quality product, in a healthy way (vaporizer or water filtered) you should be fine. No hangover, no shitty nights sleep, no weaker immune system, no fucked up liver, etc.
Reply
#25

drinking, depression and rapid aging

Quote: (10-20-2013 11:17 PM)scandibro Wrote:  

Quote: (10-20-2013 10:30 PM)SeanBateman Wrote:  

Man, I'm facing this crossroads myself and I think about it a lot. I find it more difficult to have casual conversations when I'm not drinking. I don't struggle for words, but my tone tends to be very logical and perhaps a bit intense. Instead of just bantering for hours like I can do over a few drinks, without the booze I get very focused and task oriented and my conversations go more towards problem solving or addressing some sort of issue rather than just verbally meandering in a pleasant way. This is antithetical to the type of conversation that works for me with girls, especially at night. I have to consciously focus on keeping it light and breezy. The problem is that I too have that passionate love of booze, so I struggle to cut myself off after a couple drinks or half a bottle of wine. I don't want to be the "I don't drink" guy who can't handle a glass of wine, but at the same time after that first glass of wine the rest of the bottle or even a second bottle looks delicious, and with each glass consumed my ability to not have another glass diminishes.

That post could have been written by me, word by word.

I don't know your personal situation, but perhaps it has to do with the kind of work you do? Too much logical thinking, too much responsibility and too much competition?

That hard focus which brings results in business, doesn't translate to vibing with others and just having a good time.

^ That right there is the description of my job, and the post above could have been written by me too.
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)