[samsamsam]

TL;DR

I met a girl, who is considering leaving her BF. She wants to leave the small town where I met her and move to LA. I would let her live with me for a bit but I have mentioned how I think it is important that she has her own place. I feel a little bad about the fact she will leave her BF (much older dude) to be with me, with an uncertain future. But I am having some fun with her and I like being around her. I have been so busy working lately, I have not focused on chicks. She seems a bit submissive and understands her "place." How do I protect myself if she does come out to LA and I let her stay with me for a while until she finds a job and a place?

I am usually pretty analytical trying to make all the right moves, but I sort of feel like saying "what's the worse that could happen" but I know that a lot of bad stuff could happen. But I would be having some fun.

Detail Below

So I have been in the middle of nowhere for the last few weeks and met a girl, 25. I am several years older. She thought I was only 32 (thanks RVF for the motivation). Here is the deal, we have messed around but no bang. She likes spending time with me and she comes to my hotel to hang out. It is a small town so people know each other. I enjoy being with her. Unlike most women her age, she is constantly trying to learn and she watches where she spends her money.

She currently is living with her senior citizen bf (I know, I know).

She doesn't want to have sex until she breaks up with her bf. She doesn't want to cheat, but somehow has rationalized kissing and nudity. She has several things to think about, but she says she is leaning toward breaking up with him.

I have told her she needs to decide as if I was not in the equation, it would be a terrible burden if she broke up for me and we didn't work out. Sorry I know some guys are indifferent and I can be also, but I can't be indifferent to her situation.

I have a bit of uncertainty about all this. And here is why, she seems like a really nice girl. Yes, having read RVF, like men with the right temptation a woman will stray. So I won't be surprised if she strays from me.

But I just want to have some fun. I can't tell her anything that will happen in the future. She has not been with many men. But she talks about swinging from one vine (old bf) to another vine (me).

It has been a while since I have connected with a female in a while that I could stand for more than a few days. So I am tempted to roll the dice and see where this goes.

She wants to move out to LA eventually. I don't really want her to live with me, just because I do value alone time. But we have talked about she could stay with me until she got settled. But my analytical mind is going through all the headaches of what happens if it doesn't work out.

How do I protect myself if she does come out to LA and I let her stay with me for a while until she finds a job and a place?

Like I said, I am usually pretty analytical trying to make all the right moves, but I sort of feel like saying "what's the worse that could happen" but I know that a lot of bad stuff could happen. But I would be having some fun.

Thanks to all the advice in advance.

[silverbullit]

Ill tell you right now dude, shes a lying, cheating whore.

And you clearly do not have the experience with the opposite sex to make good decisions regarding this shit.

Ditch her. Go fuck another 50 women, look back and youll say "Man im so much wiser now, thank god I didnt fall for that bullshit".

[Beyond Borders]

No, run for your life, Man!

Do you really ever think you'll be able to trust her when you've seen firsthand how deceptive she can be with her man? She would fuck you if she wasn't worried about how doing it fast would make you perceive her. And she will - probably soon! She just wants it to happen in a way that it seems like either your awesomeness or her extremely strong feelings for you caused her to do it.

Then she can act like leaving her man is the right decision on an ethical level.

Not to mention her dependency issues...she doesn't have the personal fortitude to be single even for a short period of time - hence her plan to "swing from one vine to the other." The fact that she even admitted that and tried to put it so lightly just boggles my mind.

I imagine one reason she does this is because she expects a man to support her, which is why she's with the older guy now. By swinging over to you, she's expecting you to be her new support system. My suspicions on this are confirmed by her desire to move to LA and live with you.

Hey, she may even be faithful to you once you're together, and right now is just pushing boundaries as she leaves one relationship for the next. But what do you think happens when she gets tired of you? Or when she comes across a better "deal."

The same thing that is happening to her old man right now. She'll get intimate and eventually sexual with some other guy behind your back and then suddenly leave you without ever taking a look back. These type of women put on a great, almost innocent front, but are selfish down to their every last cell. Maybe you'll always be the better deal if she's getting older, but do you really want such a shallow, self-interested person in your life?

I try to bring balance to the views about women on this forum. But this is a pattern I've seen guys fall for all too often. She is springing a trap. It's one she's sprung before and you're walking right into it.

EDIT: And only in a couple weeks things have gotten this far?! Damn, the force is strong in this one...lol I repeat the first sentence of this post.

[Christian McQueen]

Dude, no no no.

She will use you to springboard to LA and then jump to another one of the countless ballers in LA.

And let point out the MASSIVE elephant in the room: You have NOT had sex with her. Dude, come on...

[DVY]

I am going to be the voice of opposition. Have her fly out FOR VACATION/SCOUTING PURPOSES ONLY. 1 week max.

Tell her that shes welcome to stay with you for a week to check out LA, etc etc. Give it a trial run. See how it flies.

If she does (you) well, you can extend her a 2 week period when she comes back/gets setup here. I wouldn't give it more than a 6-month expentancy though, but hey maybe thats what you want. Def. don't let her live w/you full-time. Thats like slapping handcuffs voluntarily

[aphelion]

the fuck

[Beyond Borders]

(10-14-2013 03:08 PM)DVY Wrote:  

I am going to be the voice of opposition. Have her fly out FOR VACATION/SCOUTING PURPOSES ONLY. 1 week max.

Tell her that shes welcome to stay with you for a week to check out LA, etc etc. Give it a trial run. See how it flies.

If she does (you) well, you can extend her a 2 week period when she comes back/gets setup here. I wouldn't give it more than a 6-month expentancy though, but hey maybe thats what you want. Def. don't let her live w/you full-time. Thats like slapping handcuffs voluntarily

Actually, I was flirting with something along similar lines after I re-read the OP.

Here's why. Samsamsam, you mentioned several times through the OP that you understood there were a lot of opportunities for this to go wrong and that you just wanted to have fun, etc. If you can maintain that frame and make sure not to take it too seriously or expect too much, than something like what DVY suggested could be a good route to go.

Hey, you only live once...

That said, most guys do not have the discipline to keep such a situation with such a clever woman strictly rational and sexual. And I noticed that you also kept dropping little hints about what a nice and sensible girl she was in spite of her behavior - these are warnings signs of a male hamster that may sabotage you at a later date after you develop feelings for this girl.

Just some things to keep in mind.

If you're really just having fun and think you can keep her that way, bang her before you leave and then let her come out to meet up with you later on her own accord, and set some rules down while she's LEGITIMATELY looking for a place. If she gets lazy and doesn't try, which I say is likely, stand your ground and kick her out.

And whatever you do, I'd definitely avoid any long-term relationships with this woman. If you think your ability to resist is questionable, you may not want to fuck with this situation at all. If this is the case, refer to my previous post.

[samsamsam]

DVY, great idea, I was thinking of having a test visit.

OK I ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT I AM ABOUT TO SAY SOUNDS BETA. I GET IT SOUNDS LIKE I AM TRYING TO RATIONALIZE IT. BUT HEAR ME OUT PLEASE.

The one thing is that sort of supports she is not a total whore is she lives in a small town - I met her at the restaurant she works. She knows everyone. If she was a cheating whore there would be no way it wouldn't get back to her BF. Heck, I took on the people at the company I am working at to lunch, the lady I took to lunch got a "talking to" by a older gentlemen who had heard about our lunch and how she better be careful.

I totally hear you guys, and she isn't for the long term. It would just be for fun, I just want to limit the damage she could do.

I will say she is pretty grounded and that is such a big plus over the girls in LA that are her age.

I will be here for a couple more weeks, I would never let her come out without banging her. My only issue is a slight conscience thing when it comes to her throwing away a 4 year relationship for an unknown (me). I know she isn't a forever girl.

Thanks for the thoughts guys. I welcome any additional insight. Much appreciated. That or I am asking for McQueen's leftovers lol. I know part of it is just the "excitement" of the interaction - just been working too much and no focus on chicks.

[Beyond Borders]

(10-14-2013 03:20 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  

The one thing is that sort of supports she is not a total whore is she lives in a small town - I met her at the restaurant she works. She knows everyone. If she was a cheating whore there would be no way it wouldn't get back to her BF.

I grew up in a small town. A very small town (I'm talking 140 population - yes, just one 0), with other small towns nearby.

Every small town has it's small handful of complete, blatant whores. Some of them are cheaters and everyone knows about it but their man, or their man pretends he is blind to it because he doesn't think he can do any better.

Small town whores are the worst because everybody knows what they're doing. It's a big ugly open secret.

But again, she may just be the "serial monagamy" girl swinging from relationship to relationship. As mentioned in my first post, these type of women are just as calculating and selfish, not to mention their codependency issues. And they will leave you if something better comes along in exactly the same fashion that landed them in your bed in the first place.

As far as the conscience thing goes; I have one myself. In this case, though, she's eventually leaving him either way (make no mistake though - she will guilt trip you on it later). This girl is on a one-way track.

Not to mention that you're already getting naked with her and making out, etc. I realize that's not the same thing as breaking someone up, but I'm sure her boyfriend does not exactly approve.

Your conscience is already corrupted, man. And hell, you're probably doing him a favor.

[samsamsam]

(10-14-2013 03:27 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

Your conscience is already corrupted, man. And hell, you're probably doing him a favor.

No truer words were spoken. I tried to resist, but fuck boobs and ass right there it was hard not to...

[Menace]

I say no. You are going out of your way for pussy, pussy you have not yet fucked. You think she is special because she wants to learn? She is not. How do you know it's not the student/teacher frame she's selling you, that she sees you are ready to buy? Do not ever underestimate young girls...they have had dick thrown in their face more times than you can shake a stick at.

Your desire to help her out is not from a position of strength, and it sounds like scarcity to me. If you had 3 girls as cute as her in your rotation in LA, would you even consider this deal? Of course not, because her living with you would fuck up your style and game. Man's instinct is to provide; woman's instinct is to acquire.

Tell her: you can't make such a huge leap until you know there is physical chemistry between you two...i.e. fucking. Try to bang. If you bang, say no chemistry and never speak to her again. That's what a player would do.

[Courage Reborn]

[aphelion]

Seriously, go do your own thing and let this girl find her own damn way out of her small town. If you go Captain Save-a-Ho every time some girl bats an eyelash at you, like...

...the fuck

[DVY]

People are tripping out over this thread. People cheat all the time. I set my personal line at married girls. BFs of chicks I barely know mean absolutely zero to me.

This is a mistress. Dont EVER make her your main chick. No matter how much she pleas, begs, complains, lies or pouts. If you can handle this uncomfortable truth, then go for it.

Just realize that this is a "fun only" relationship. Yes, she may be less maintenance than an LA-girl, but thats like saying a big mac is healthier than deep-fried twinkies.

I've done what you've asking about a few times (albeit w/less age difference). Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt. If she stays at your place, you have to laid down strict rules and domesticate this chick. Shes has to cook, clean, do laundry, give you massages, run errands for you. Basically make her your secretary/maid/live-in-help.

A tit for tat relationship sounds terrible, but it works well in cases like this. If she starts deviating, getting lazy, ruining my mood, pouting all the time, you need to tell her that "I live a happy life, I dont need problems in it. Please stop doing x, or leave."

[Christian McQueen]

And don't get slapped with a false rape charge in the process.

Any chick who will cheat on her bf is clearly capable of lying a great deal.

Once she moves in and gets comfortable you may have a monster on your hands if she feels like you're going to kick her out and come up with some crazy lies that fuck up your life.


Just saying; think with your bigger head.

[Cattle Rustler]

I thought this thread was going to be about OP screwing himself literally.

[teh_skeeze]

Everything points to her trying to use you as a jumpoff to get to LA. No offense to the older players here, but if she's with a senior citizen, she's the type of girl that dates men only based on what they have to offer her. I know you said you just want to have a little fun, but she's not willing to go all the way now. A hooker would be cheaper in the long run, and she'll leave when the deed is done.

[WestIndianArchie]

If that broad brings her tooth brush from out of state and that shit don't work out

DO YOU HAVE THE BALLS TO PUT HER ON THE STREET?
YOU WILLING TO CALL THE COPS?

Or is that bitch gonna linger on at your place, eating your food, watching your cable, running up your light bill, until she finds the next cock to hop on?

WIA

[kenny_powers]

Next. You are in SoCal? 17 million people and you are considering importing a deadbeat?

I will defer to rule number #3 of this forum:

3. The members of this forum believe in a model of abundance. We consider it a waste of time to get needy with one girl who in all likelihood doesn't hold you in a positive light because of the poor game you already used on her. Once you mess up with a girl, it is almost impossible for her to change her opinion of you, no matter how good you eventually may get. In other words, if you have zero game, we don't want to hear your sob story of some girl who only wants to be friends with you. Game is about banging a lot of new girls, not one girl is 100% sure she doesn't want to bang you.

If she wanted to bang you it would have been done already. Next this chick now and never talk to her again. Go party with some of the LA crew.

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-13005.html

[dog24]

Im going to derail this thread and say i thought all girls monkey branch. Seriously sluts, "good girls" they all do it. I was under the impression that we all knew, this girls offer sex and we in exchange give them commitment, support, in some cases even money.
Seems like a bad idea too get in an LTR with this girl but then again it seems like all LTR`s are a bad idea no matter which girl you pick.
Arent seeking arrangment guys already doing something like this? As long as youre not deluding yourself that a girl like this will love you, i think we will all end up doing something like this past 50.

[teh_skeeze]

Branches don't usually swing from the middle of nowhere to the big city. If she were already in LA, or had the means to get her feet on the ground there herself it would be worth it. This chick is most certainly trying to play him. She doesn't want to fuck, and is probably waiting for him to say "Come back home with me" before she swings from the current branch.

Question for the OP, is she living with her current boyfriend?

[samsamsam]

Thanks for all the comments.

To clarify a few things.

1) I wouldn't consider her coming to LA until we have sex
2) Would much rather she broke up with her BF, got her own place and we hung out while I worked out here
3) She has money and makes investments w/ her BF she will have to unwind that stuff - she apparently is a major saver
4) She does seem like the submissive type that likes to be led, moving in would be some comfort for her
5) Repeat, I won't do anything until we have sex

It was a moment of free thinking, what if and I decided to post about it. I am usually pretty cynical about stuff. It just happens to be that we met and started talking and hanging out, it wasn't my intention to mess with a local girl in a tiny tiny town when I came out here for work.

Possibly, it could be a moment of weakness since it has been a while since I have spoken to a girl that I found even some what interesting. But she isn't LTR material. I still want to go back to Europe.

So I was really interested in finding out ways to minimize damage if we were to get along enough to possibly (key word) think about her coming out to LA. My issue is yes, all women are whores and untrustworthy - I got it, but still I don't want to mess up her life. I know it is her choice, but I am playing a role.

I am already corrupted as BB says, but I don't want this to blow up into something crazy.

Once again thanks for all the feedback!

[Duke Castile]

Samsamsam,

I honestly thought you were writing satire at first....

Look, this girl isn't going to screw her life up if she comes to LA.

You think the geriatric wouldn't take her whore ass back and be happy to do it if she came crawling back?

She has savings?

Sounds to me like she was looking for a way out for a long time and you happened to cross her path.

She's interesting?

Impossible. She's got some young naive charm and has been cultured on sex and the city and has read about a few things, and that has you thinking she's got potential.

She's not a whore?

Impossible. She might not sleep around a lot, but that's because she's more fearful of her reputation in a small town than because she isn't a whore. Then I have to point to dating a guy who's old enough to be her dad (not that there's anything wrong with him for that)

I get that you are charmed by her because of being in shitty LA and then coming to a refreshing down-home outlook on life with this girl but put her in that environment and she will act just like the rest of those LA bimbos in 2 months.

Let her fly out for a weekend if you want.

And if you really want to minimize damage then start worrying about YOU.

[eradicator]

My suggestion would to be to cut all contact with her until she moves to los angeles and has her own place. If you want to try then, go ahead, otherwise, avoid and by all means do not move her in to your place.

[Beyond Borders]

(10-14-2013 09:23 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  

4) She does seem like the submissive type that likes to be led, moving in would be some comfort for her

Sigh. I give up. I think we all know how this is going to end...

(10-14-2013 09:23 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  

My issue is yes, all women are whores and untrustworthy - I got it, but still I don't want to mess up her life.

No, no, no. That is not what we're saying to you at all. Only the most black and white, fanatical thinkers in the manosphere truly believe this.

The woman in question, on the other hand, is showing many signs of being a possible whore, or, at least, untrustworthy.