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Soup's Guide to LMR
#1

Soup's Guide to LMR

Historically, the prescription for dealing with LMR or Last Minute Resistance involved disengaging from the task at hand, doing a little freeze-out on the girl, and re-approaching the bang at a later time.

I've done this, and it has worked, but I've been experimenting with a different way of handling LMR.

Instead of freezing her out, I engage her by talking. This isn't an argument, but is more of a calling a spade spade, recognizing the elephant in the room kind of moment.

I do this when I'm sexually messing around with a girl (my dick is out, she's blowing, but she seems reluctant, for example). I can tell she's conflicted. Most girls will be weirded out by the fact that they are about to fuck a complete stranger on a first date. This is what players have to deal with.

Instead of trying to pretend that nothing happened I bring it up with the girl.

I'll tell her things like:

"Do you want me, yes or no?" She'll reply with some convoluted BS about not being sure or whatever, but I'll keep pushing her into a yes/no answer.

Then I'll tell her something like "I'm really confused. When I'm with someone, I need to feel like we are in it together (I do a kind of "go-team" gesture).. I need to feel a sense of freedom."

I've never had a girl who disagreed with this notion.

I might then look at them with a straight face and "I want to fuck you. Do you want me?"

The point is that I'm not trying to hide the awkwardness of the moment. I'm confronting it head on. I believe this a sign of strength of frame.

I ignore her ramblings. It's all a big shit-test as far as I'm concerned. If I've got a girl naked in my bed, I'm going to push things forward instead of letting the air out of sails by disengaging.

So far, it's worked with three out of four girls. I feel much better doing this then trying to pretend like everything is cool and passive aggressively going to my computer to fake like I'm looking something up (or whatever it is the Mystery Method prescribes).

To do this, I believe you need to have already established that you are not a normal, boring guy. You are cool guy who doesn't live by the normal people rules. You aren't used to girls being indecisive in these matters. It's not that it makes you uneasy, but it's "confusing".

The girls tend to key in on this possibility that they might be doing something wrong, or socially uncool by being so "confusing". You put the ball in their court and are "being honest" with them. You are forcing them to make a decision. By not making a decision, they are being socially awkward.
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#2

Soup's Guide to LMR

Interesting tactic.

Call me old school, but I love short 1 minute freeze outs. Then re-escalate while saying "I want you" a dozen different times/ways. Usually does the trick. Additionally, I find it's important to laugh with her about the situation between freezes. Mutual funny agreeements by saying, "Wow. Yeah, we really shouldn't be doing this... [Image: biggrin.gif]". Then turn up the heat again.

For LMR girls, there are 1 of 2 possible dynamics occuring;

1. Giving LMR, but quite content in my bed, and not leaving. For these, it's only a matter of time investment before a girl is ready to bang.

2. "I should go"/ "I have to go". Fight or flight instinct takes over. Usually kiss of death. Freeze outs don't work. They will just leave. I get buyers remorse next day if I don't make it happen that night with these. Better to try everything in the moment to overcome LMR with these, or I rarely see them again. If/when it does go down, the sex is super hot from the fight or flight.
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#3

Soup's Guide to LMR

I get LMR all the time because my pulls are so quick.

1-6 hours of LMR not unusual.

Just deal with it. Address logical objections, act like it's no big deal, share stories that build more trust, push/pull.

Julien RSD said something that's pretty extreme:

He starts crying after a certain amount of LMR and tells the girl she reminds him of his friend who got raped when he was just a teenager. He cares about his friend so much to this day that to get rejected by a girl he cares about makes him feel like he's some kind of rapist and brings back all these painful memories about his friend he doesn't know how to deal with. The girl gets an extreme emotional spike. Next time he tries to escalate there's no resistance.
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#4

Soup's Guide to LMR

I implement a bit of freezing out but as my last minute resort. Always, when implemented, it is more of a quirky 'shit I forgot to do XYZ.'.
Communicating: a) Sex is imminent however I must tend to something first; your reciprocity would hasten the process but I am not outcome dependent b) I need a time out to accept that it is going to happen c) Always freeze out on a semi-positive note: she feels horny enough to fuck but her mind is a step behind trying to rationalize (ASD) therefore you're not pushing her away in a moment where it seems as if your ego is hurt or she directly affected your stoic demeanor by refusing you sex. (Think of a child refused an ice-cream).

Usually I whip it out and place her hand on it and say "Look at what you did. We have to do something about this.". This will overcome most of the boundaries. You guys are a TEAM. Mutual satisfaction, climaxing and excitement is the name of the game.

The key to overcoming LMR is leading and accepting responsibility for anything sexual happening. It is your fault and you are responsible. You are the bad guy making her (the good girl in her mind) do these sexual things. If you weren't here she wouldn't be doing it and as a result, you are absorbing all of the negative repercussions involved. This is similar to the 'apocalypse opener' however you flip the script. You never verbally make her feel bad. You make her accept that what she is doing is normal (through trust and rapport) and that anything that feels off is on you. You put yourself in the line of fire by turning her on and setting up the frame that sex is the only outcome. Any excuses go out of the window (agree and amplify) yet you are not invested whatsoever in the outcome of this. You both desire the sex, you just need to get aboard the vessel which will take you there. It's you and her against everything else.

While you're doing this you are constantly turning her on and letting her now she is doing a good job of being a sexy woman doing the same to you... Your reward is sex.

Analogy time: You are both breaking in to a house in which there is a safe room (safe room being the sexual part). She is scared but you are constantly leading her. The fear turns into excitement once the negative consequences are alleviated from her. If you get caught, it is on you. You enforce the idea however, that the safe room is the only destination, there is no going back. This is all in your body language and sub-communication.

Never deal with LMR on a logical level, always on an emotional level. Get her to feel what you want, not to understand or agree.
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#5

Soup's Guide to LMR

This is generally something guys don't do enough: instead of trying to ignore and avoid what is actually happening, address it and impose your frame. If you do it well, not only can you overcome resistance but the fucking itself will be better because you establish an ability to talk to the girl in real time about what you want and guide her to do what she has to do.

I think the whole "confused" frame here is masterful.

same old shit, sixes and sevens Shaft...
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#6

Soup's Guide to LMR

LMR's have a cultural component too. I've had way too many Korean girls tell me, "take responsibility" before submitting to the bang. It's such a commonplace thing in the community that me and my Korean friends all laugh about it.
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#7

Soup's Guide to LMR

A lot of them just don't want the responsibility of the decision to have sex.

I escalate as much as I can, laugh about the last minute resistance, make fun of the girl (stop it - you're going too fast) or (you gonna buy me dinner first). I smile the whole time and enjoy the process for what it is. That's my style.

"We're not making love. You're not having sex with me. I'm fucking you."

Wald
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