[klosck]

Today I'd like to talk about an unfortunate phenomenon that has been occurring a little often over the past few months.
To clarify the title, I'm not talking about random girls you approach in bars or on the street. I'm talking about girls whom you meet to do some friendly activity without any direct romantic implications...ie going out for a drink with a co-worker, going for a hike, etc. Then, later on , you find yourself in an intimate situation with her and decide to make a move. The girl then rejects you, becomes "shocked" and it gets awkward as hell.



Here are my experiences:

CASE 1:

I see a girl who just broke up with a guy I know. She is out at a bar and we start talking. She tells me that she has nowhere to sleep that night. She lives in another town, and can't drive back because she was drinking. I offer for her to crash on my couch. We end up back at my place drinking some beer on my couch. We are sitting close to each other, talking and laughing. I start stroking her hair. Her eyes get big and asks me what I'm doing...and that I should probably go to sleep.. The reason given was that she was friends with a girl who I was off and on dating...she's back with the guy I know, and now its a little weird with them..


CASE 2:

A friend introduces me to another girl who likes to do outdoor sports...hiking, biking etc. Since I'm into those things as well, we exchange contact info and decide to meet up. The first time we met, we went swimming at a lake. I didn't make a move because I had too many girls in the rotation (honestly), and I just wanted to hang out. The second time, we go hiking and have dinner. I walk her home, go in for a kiss and she pulls away...I was like ok..I guess we'll be friends then. Haven't really talked to her since.


CASE 3:

I begin talking to an intern where I work. She has a boyfriend, but she is from another city and doesn't really know anybody. I invite her out for drinks, and bring her out a few times to meetup with friends. I'll be honest, my intentions here were about 50% friendly..but I wasn't going to push the issue... Anyway, one day after hanging out we go back to my place to smoke a little weed. In my head, I'm seeing signals. We are close to each other so I go in for a kiss. She pulls away, and is shocked. She couldn't believe that I did that, and asked to know what made me think it was ok to try.



In all of these situations, it is clear that there was a huge disconnect between what was going on in my and the girls' heads. I'm honestly a little confused. In most of my adult life, whenever I was alone with a girl and in an close/intimate situation, usually something happened. The way I had always perceived it was like this: by allowing herself to be put in that situation, that in itself was a green light to make a move. In these cases, I was obviously mistaken. But I have come up with a few theories of why this has happened.


1. Culture. It should be noted that all the girls in the above situation were German. I could be wrong, but it appears that in Germany/Europe guys and girls appear to have more platonic friends. So in their minds, just because you are alone with them, it does not necessarily mean they are interested. This differs greatly to Latin America..where if you are alone in a room with a girl, AND the door is closed, then you are probably getting laid.


2. Naivete. These girls were 22-25 years old. Although I figured they should be aware of the ways of men by then, perhaps they just didn't realize the situation they were in...OR alternatively they might have known. They might have known I would probably make a move, (which would make the expressed shock fake)

3. Me. Maybe I should stop trying to fuck every girl I meet, and just be friends with more girls. lol. It's kind of a half joke. Honestly, I think it would be hard to be friends with a girl if you are only want to get them in bed. In addition, I would probably miss way too many opportunities


Anyway, thats all I have on this. I'd be interested in hearing your guys' thoughts and perhaps experiences on this subject.

[frogmallet]

These are some naive bitches. No more free weed for you, bitch!

They seem legitimate situations for making a move to me. Two comments:
1. Are you physically unattractive or do you have body odor or something?

2. Your instincts of wanting to befriend women that you also want to fuck are bad. You should not want to befriend them, and then don't feel bad when they shoot you down.

[Ice]

Maybe you just need to ramp up the sexual vibe earlier - before she comes to your place. sexual teasing, escalation etc. It's not good to just "go in for a kiss" - there needs to be escalation beforehand.

[Branimir]

(09-08-2013 10:05 AM)klosck Wrote:  

The girl then rejects you, becomes "shocked" and it gets awkward as hell.
[...]

1. Culture. It should be noted that all the girls in the above situation were German. I could be wrong, but it appears that in Germany/Europe guys and girls appear to have more platonic friends. So in their minds, just because you are alone with them, it does not necessarily mean they are interested. This differs greatly to Latin America..where if you are alone in a room with a girl, AND the door is closed, then you are probably getting laid.

Sup,
maybe you're coming off as creepy, but I as I know your situation, it mostly comes down to german culture/girls. It's not a european thing I'd say.
I've also had very similiar cases like yours, like she'd want to meet up and dance, and always ask me when we'd go for a drink and stuff. Once I tried she also was shocked and couldn't handle the situation well.
Stuff like that in other countries would pass as she's 110% down, but it's not the same case in germany.
These things would not happen in the neighbouring countries of france or poland.
It seems to me that many people in germany are emotionally/sexually handicapped.
It's not your fault and you shouldn't get affected by this, that is very important, or else you'll be one of them where nobody wants to bother nobody with anything, and any "surprising" or unplanned event erupting status quo is something they can't handle.
This really can ruin your game since you think you're doing something wrong.
What works best in germany is if she knows from the beginning that you like her in "another" way, not as a friend.
German logic brain will have problems, understand what and why he is doing because all actions will go through the "he's-a-friend" translator, not "he-wants-to-get-into-my-pants" translator lol.
Also direct talk also can work good, as german are direct people.

Like imagine your male buddy starts doing that shit to you, of course you'll get all confused and surprised right?

Best of course would be not bothering too much with german girls, but seek opportunities to meet females of other nationalities.
But let's not hate on them now, there're also german girls that are different and have their positive sides. In general though don't expect too much.
It's just the way they are, you have to deal with it or get new targets.

[Raj]

I'm not at the level at which I can give you advice but I can share my similar experiences:

Case 1 : This girl ( my elder sister's friend's younger sister) came to our house for chatter. While my sister and her friend were busy doing stuff, I gamed her younger sister and exchanged numbers. I set up a movie date (we can't go to clubs etc *underage*) and everything was going well. At the end i went in for a kiss and she pulls away and made an instant SHOCKED FACE. Instead of getting all awkward, i kissed her cheek and made it look like that was all I was going to do. She goes "Omg I thought that you were going to.." I break her sentence and go "You're not that lucky". after 15 mins or so, I attempted again and made out. 10 days later, came a new notch.

Case 2 : I made a plan with a new girl from class to hang out. We go for a movie,. I chose a boring movie (on purpose) and after watching for 20 minutes and holding hands, I say "This is boring lets go somewhere else". She says "Okay". We go to a restaurant and eat light. I say "I forgot to put keys under the mat for mom, We have to go home and put it there." She says okay again and we reach home. My room has carpet so we take off our shoes. We talk for a while and I go for a kiss. She pulls away and says "She wants to leave". I get pissed thinking wtf was she expecting to happen. After 2 hours she texts me "sorry" and sets up another date the next day. I bring her home with a take it or leave it attitude. She gives me a blowjob but no real play. after 2 weeks or so, I get the pussy.

Both 7's

1. So as for culture, I don't think this has anything to do with culture. Culture def has effect on game but this has nothing to do with it. For example, I have to get in short relationships to get sex in India. I think I'll be able to pull off one night stands when I go abroad with practice ofcourse.

2. Naivete: Hell no, The first one was 18 y.o and the second, 16 y.o

3. Attempt to fuck every cute girl : Yes, keep doing it. You have nothing to lose. Put them in your same numbers list in which you keep girls who have flaked on you and send restart text after a week if they don't text you first.

Again, I am just sharing my experience. Not saying that I am absolutely right. And, criticism is welcomed

[Col. Tigh]

You can't sneak up on pussy. It must be approached openly, boldly and unapologetically.

This reaction is occurring because you've been attempting to hedge your bets by not communicating your sexual intentions from the start, instead letting the girls think you might actually just want to be friends. Trying to be friends with the ulterior motive of switching her mindset to sex will usually fail. Your post indicates ambivalence on your part:

Quote:

... my intentions here were about 50% friendly..but I wasn't going to push the issue...

Communication with women has to be of a binary, all-in or all-out nature. Do you want to fuck her, or do you just want to be friends? Really it cannot be both ways; in my mind, that is one of the fundamental tenets of Game. Perhaps more internal honesty--admitting to yourself from the get-go that "yes, I want to fuck this girl"--coupled with self-discipline in keeping the lines from blurring when you talk to women, will result in avoiding this type of surprise on her part.

You must be prepared to "lose out" on "friendship" with the women you approach sexually. But this "losing out" is only illusory anyway: did you really want another boring non-sexual female friend, after all? No, you wanted to have sex with her (and there's nothing wrong with that!). So if you start interaction in clearly sexual/romantic terms and she rejects you, instead of deluding yourself that "damn, I blew a possible friendship by going sexual too soon," you really haven't lost anything (in fact it saved you further wasted time and effort).

[klosck]

(09-08-2013 10:42 AM)Branimir Wrote:  

Sup,
maybe you're coming off as creepy, but I as I know your situation, it mostly comes down to german culture/girls. It's not a european thing I'd say.
I've also had very similiar cases like yours, like she'd want to meet up and dance, and always ask me when we'd go for a drink and stuff. Once I tried she also was shocked and couldn't handle the situation well.
Stuff like that in other countries would pass as she's 110% down, but it's not the same case in germany.
These things would not happen in the neighbouring countries of france or poland.
It seems to me that many people in germany are emotionally/sexually handicapped.
It's not your fault and you shouldn't get affected by this, that is very important, or else you'll be one of them where nobody wants to bother nobody with anything, and any "surprising" or unplanned event erupting status quo is something they can't handle.
This really can ruin your game since you think you're doing something wrong.
What works best in germany is if she knows from the beginning that you like her in "another" way, not as a friend.
German logic brain will have problems, understand what and why he is doing because all actions will go through the "he's-a-friend" translator, not "he-wants-to-get-into-my-pants" translator lol.
Also direct talk also can work good, as german are direct people.

Like imagine your male buddy starts doing that shit to you, of course you'll get all confused and surprised right?

Best of course would be not bothering too much with german girls, but seek opportunities to meet females of other nationalities.
But let's not hate on them now, there're also german girls that are different and have their positive sides. In general though don't expect too much.
It's just the way they are, you have to deal with it or get new targets.

Thanks for the feedback.


I never bought into the whole are "Germans/Polish/whatever girls are always such and such"..I kinda always believed that deep down, women are the same in every country aside from a few cultural differences.. However what you are saying makes a lot of sense. It could be a German thing.

Come to think of it...whenever I've had a girl at my place, on my couch, I've pretty much always sealed the deal...even under ambiguous friend circumstances...but none of them have been German yet.

I do seem to have much better success with other nationalities. So I guess if I found myself in a similar situation with a German again I could modify my game plan..basically test the waters first with mild flirting..or just not invite her into my home in the first place lol..

I like what you say about stating your intentions upfront. This is good for going out with girls for dates. But I also realize its not always practical. For example, let's say you attend a seminar for work and meet a hot married girl who works in another branch of your company in another city. She says she is bored, has nobody to hang out with and wants to go out for a drink. Naturally you invite her out, but would you state your intentions first? Or do so with hang out with her a bit, feel out how dtf she is and see where it goes? Situations like this don't happen all the time of course..but they do happen..

[klosck]

(09-08-2013 11:59 AM)Col. Tigh Wrote:  

You can't sneak up on pussy. It must be approached openly, boldly and unapologetically.

This reaction is occurring because you've been attempting to hedge your bets by not communicating your sexual intentions from the start, instead letting the girls think you might actually just want to be friends. Trying to be friends with the ulterior motive of switching her mindset to sex will usually fail. Your post indicates ambivalence on your part:

Quote:

... my intentions here were about 50% friendly..but I wasn't going to push the issue...

Communication with women has to be of a binary, all-in or all-out nature. Do you want to fuck her, or do you just want to be friends? Really it cannot be both ways; in my mind, that is one of the fundamental tenets of Game. Perhaps more internal honesty--admitting to yourself from the get-go that "yes, I want to fuck this girl"--coupled with self-discipline in keeping the lines from blurring when you talk to women, will result in avoiding this type of surprise on her part.

You must be prepared to "lose out" on "friendship" with the women you approach sexually. But this "losing out" is only illusory anyway: did you really want another boring non-sexual female friend, after all? No, you wanted to have sex with her (and there's nothing wrong with that!). So if you start interaction in clearly sexual/romantic terms and she rejects you, instead of deluding yourself that "damn, I blew a possible friendship by going sexual too soon," you really haven't lost anything (in fact it saved you further wasted time and effort).

I dont feel like most of this really applies. I did risk their short lived "friendships" by trying to make moves early on into it. I didn't spend countless hours/day with them...

Lets be clear, I am talking about girls who you didn't necessarily start out trying to game. This could be a co-worker, your married neighbor, or a buddy's sister. Yeah, I'll admit with the intern I was kind of feeling it out, but I had no intention nor interest in being her good pal.

Do you ALWAYS know what your intention is for every girl? Take me for example. I like to go mountain biking. Let's say its a nice day, and a girl invites me to go.. Maybe at the time I'm not sure if I want to put the time and effort into banging her....but I am sure I like mountain biking. So I go. Then let's say we stop at a lake and jump in. She takes her top off and damn, she has amazing tits. I see her in a different light now, which could possibly change my intention for her..

[Parlay44]

You're probably not making your intentions clear when you're asking them to hang out. That's fine though cause you can work with that at the bar. You gotta get them to loosen up and have a good time ...pour some drinks down her throat and maker her laugh. Order 2 drinks and two shots right off the bat. If she still looking at you as a friend by the end of drink 2 then bounce to another bar. Maybe smoke on the way. Repeat.

[iknowexactly]

Quote:

1. Culture. It should be noted that all the girls in the above situation were German. I could be wrong, but it appears that in Germany/Europe guys and girls appear to have more platonic friends. So in their minds, just because you are alone with them, it does not necessarily mean they are interested. This differs greatly to Latin America..where if you are alone in a room with a girl, AND the door is closed, then you are probably getting laid.

Classical game theory response: You didn't build enough attraction previously to activate her primal brain centers so you were physically perceived as a sexual threat while still allowing her simple-minded intellect to retain deniability.

1) I'm not trying to be a smart-ass; but girls don't have minds-- they have reflexes.

They see a crowd of people around you excited about you-- you're good. Even if you're Hitler.
They see you with a crowd of people around you in a big car rolling-- You're good. Even if you work for Goldman Sachs raping all labor in the world.

If they were any kind of abstract, innovative thinkers, why do they only have 7% of patents? Intellectual laziness
or inability. Not that they're useless, they make great nurses and other professions.

It is a feature, not a bug. If a woman were able to think clearly and abstract into the future, the idea of getting pregnant and becoming more and more weak for 9 months until she, in horrible agony, shits out something the size of an American football would terrify her and the human race would not exist.

The mind exists primarily as a survival mechanism, which to a large degree is in conflict with our reproductive mission. Witness how supersmart academic guys who aren't also psychopathic do poorly with women.

Whereas you might feel some attraction to a girl, decide to have her over not knowing whether you'll actually make a move, but then once she's there make a plan and act, women are adrift in a world of short-term reinforcers.

Notice the different sequence and type of behaviors.

Men:
1) Feel (Lust, hunger, fear) Internal OR externally generated.

2) Think (plan to get a job, invent something, run from the bully, buy a gun.)

3) Act (Invent something, talk to a girl, get a job, crystallize future plans)

Women:
1) Feel (Lust, hunger, fear) only in response to primal stim-ex. Alphas,
food, wealth ( they are unbelievably obsessed with food because it's passive)

2) Gain-oriented herd behavior ( Flirt, eat, spin classes, consumer behavior)

3) Backwards rationalizes what happened. Or to be less pejorative, she muses about what happened to her and tries to understand. ( Spinsters who never asked a man out complain men are no good, her paper-shuffling didn't get her a McMansion (built by you-know-who) so wages were unfair, she got pregnant from AlphaJoey so he must be charming.)

This is an excellent post and stories because it really stimulates discussion of social stuff.

Even though I don't agree with the theory behind commenter's -"relations mus be binary" idea-- I think it leads to good practices.

YOU DON'T HAVE TIME FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T SHARE YOUR GOALS.

In this case it' simportant to differentiate for "I don't have time for this" the way people usually say it-- meaning "you're being a jerk or you are irritating me". I mean it literally, as in "in your life you don't have enough days or seconds for girls who want to use you as an emotional tampon" before you die.

As some have said you have to do split communication-- physically suggest sex while verbally soothing her limited intellect. Get her body aroused while allowing her mind deniability. You don't want her to start thinking about screaming in agony while she shits out a football.

To us it may feel insincere, but you are merely not overloading her simple brain. If you were playing catch with a three-year old, you wouldn't drill the ball at the poor kid at fifty miles an hour, right?

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

Perhaps they are strongly feminist. Many women, if they are on the fence about someone, get more pleasure from shooting someone down and acting shocked that someone could even think they had a chance with them (the ultimate Goddess) than from a nice romance.

[Parlay44]

You gotta spin it on them like they're inexperienced. Which they might actually be. Not everyone gets the concept of a date.

[MidniteSpecial]

Lack of game.

Case number one you should have said something like this, "yeah you could come back and sleep at my place but you either have to pay me or have sex." or if your soft, "Sure you can stay at my place but don't try anything funny," with a sarcastic vibe.

Case number 2 you clearly write, "I didn't make a move." Ok so you didn't make a move night one and night 2 you take her out to eat? Did you pay? Never pay for dinner without having some kind of hook up. Rookie mistake.

Case number 3, she had a boyfriend and weed can make shit weird as fuck sometimes.

Avoid the friend zone from the jump bro. Escalate quick. Make the hoe say no. And rinse wash and repeat. Just because you get shut down once doesn't mean you will the 2nd 3rd or 4th time. Persistence is key.

[Pyre]

(09-08-2013 01:27 PM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

They see you with a crowd of people around you in a big car rolling-- You're good. Even if you work for Goldman Sachs raping all labor in the world.

LOL!

[VincentVinturi]

This post strikes me as unusual, primarily because I've always found German girls to be especially eager to jump in bed quickly. They're great in bed too.

Like the other RVFers above said, you've got to make your sexual intent crystal clear right from the start. And not just in terms of your internal thought process, but in terms of your actions. Maybe you're *thinking* sex, but you're *communicating* platonic stuff and then trying to flip the script. That's deceptive. That's why they're shocked.

I mean, I see your point. If a girl has nowhere to sleep and she's on your couch drinking beer, how unintuitive can she be that she doesn't see a sexual scenario unfolding. Just goes to show you, you can't leave a woman to assume anything. She needs to know unequivocally where things are headed, even if it's just on the body language level.

[Mumbojumbo]

I'd say welcome to Germany! Very normal behavior for German girls in Germany. Since there is no dating culture guys and girls hang out forever with social activity. After the 10th or so meet you may get some signals from the girls that she'd like to get intimate from you. That's when she expects a kiss. Just hanging out together does not give a signal at all.

There are exceptions but finding them is almost impossible and quickly gets frustrating. So the above 'dating path' is what guys and girls do. Horribly inefficient an leaves you with tons of 'girl friends' you'll never gonna fuck.

I'd say it's a feminist wonderland

Btw Polish girls are not at all like that.

[ssvle]

Glossing over this, i find the overall conclusion about german girls very interesting!

Finally i read the thing that i have been thinking for ca 1/2 year now (im in PU since 1 year)

German chicks are very much not open to direct approaches and that kind of stuff.

I find it true that social circle game applies more here (or you are a turk and approach turkish chicks, as these only go out with turks they have good chances)

Other dudes from foreign countries might not observe this behavior, Vincent for example.

Well you probably met the german girls in your country, not theirs .. i know that they change their behavior 180' when they're abroad.

Many german girls that i know, for example, go to australia and in some moments of honesty, they admit to do this because they wanted to get boned by some beach / surfer pretty boy.

[klosck]

(09-08-2013 05:40 PM)MidniteSpecial Wrote:  

Lack of game.

Case number one you should have said something like this, "yeah you could come back and sleep at my place but you either have to pay me or have sex." or if your soft, "Sure you can stay at my place but don't try anything funny," with a sarcastic vibe.

Case number 2 you clearly write, "I didn't make a move." Ok so you didn't make a move night one and night 2 you take her out to eat? Did you pay? Never pay for dinner without having some kind of hook up. Rookie mistake.

Case number 3, she had a boyfriend and weed can make shit weird as fuck sometimes.

Avoid the friend zone from the jump bro. Escalate quick. Make the hoe say no. And rinse wash and repeat. Just because you get shut down once doesn't mean you will the 2nd 3rd or 4th time. Persistence is key.

Yeah, I know it was poor game. In these instances I did fail.

Your advice is good for girls that I just met..in the bar. But I tend to play it a little safer for people within my work and social circle. (which all the girls were connected to) .maybe this is beta or whatever. But its just how I choose to play it. I mean would you tell a buddy's recently broken up ex-gf that she better be ready to fuck if she wants to crash on your couch?

[klosck]

(09-09-2013 10:12 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  

This post strikes me as unusual, primarily because I've always found German girls to be especially eager to jump in bed quickly. They're great in bed too.

Like the other RVFers above said, you've got to make your sexual intent crystal clear right from the start. And not just in terms of your internal thought process, but in terms of your actions. Maybe you're *thinking* sex, but you're *communicating* platonic stuff and then trying to flip the script. That's deceptive. That's why they're shocked.

I mean, I see your point. If a girl has nowhere to sleep and she's on your couch drinking beer, how unintuitive can she be that she doesn't see a sexual scenario unfolding. Just goes to show you, you can't leave a woman to assume anything. She needs to know unequivocally where things are headed, even if it's just on the body language level.

Which part of Germany did you have success in? I am located in Bavaria which tends to be more on the conservative side..although one of these girls was from Berlin...go figure

I'm usually very direct..which with German girls. It either works or it doesn't. In my town I tend to see social circle game as the most effective. Bar approaches can be a little tricky...

[klosck]

(09-08-2013 01:27 PM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

Quote:

1. Culture. It should be noted that all the girls in the above situation were German. I could be wrong, but it appears that in Germany/Europe guys and girls appear to have more platonic friends. So in their minds, just because you are alone with them, it does not necessarily mean they are interested. This differs greatly to Latin America..where if you are alone in a room with a girl, AND the door is closed, then you are probably getting laid.

Classical game theory response: You didn't build enough attraction previously to activate her primal brain centers so you were physically perceived as a sexual threat while still allowing her simple-minded intellect to retain deniability.

I think this explains a lot. Good post. very well written. +1 from me

[VincentVinturi]

(09-09-2013 11:52 AM)klosck Wrote:  

(09-09-2013 10:12 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  

This post strikes me as unusual, primarily because I've always found German girls to be especially eager to jump in bed quickly. They're great in bed too.

Like the other RVFers above said, you've got to make your sexual intent crystal clear right from the start. And not just in terms of your internal thought process, but in terms of your actions. Maybe you're *thinking* sex, but you're *communicating* platonic stuff and then trying to flip the script. That's deceptive. That's why they're shocked.

I mean, I see your point. If a girl has nowhere to sleep and she's on your couch drinking beer, how unintuitive can she be that she doesn't see a sexual scenario unfolding. Just goes to show you, you can't leave a woman to assume anything. She needs to know unequivocally where things are headed, even if it's just on the body language level.

Which part of Germany did you have success in? I am located in Bavaria which tends to be more on the conservative side..although one of these girls was from Berlin...go figure

I'm usually very direct..which with German girls. It either works or it doesn't. In my town I tend to see social circle game as the most effective. Bar approaches can be a little tricky...

I've never been to Germany. My experiences with German chicks have been in other countries. Germans travel a lot! I'm sure it's a whole different ball game when you're at home.

[klosck]

(09-09-2013 11:58 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  

I've never been to Germany. My experiences with German chicks have been in other countries. Germans travel a lot! I'm sure it's a whole different ball game when you're at home.

Lol. Then you're catching them in holiday mode. That probably explains it!

[Roosh]

You're not touching girls.

[XXL]

(09-08-2013 10:05 AM)klosck Wrote:  

I'm talking about girls whom you meet to do some friendly activity without any direct romantic implications...ie going out for a drink with a co-worker, going for a hike, etc. Then, later on , you find yourself in an intimate situation with her and decide to make a move. The girl then rejects you, becomes "shocked" and it gets awkward as hell.

what's so weird about it? the girl freaks the fuck out cause she views you as a friend. so when you do your "surprise! i have dick!" move then what do you expect? imagine the guy that you watched few games with tried to fuck your asshole then you're drunk

that's what happens when you stay too indirect for too long.

(09-08-2013 10:05 AM)klosck Wrote:  

In all of these situations, it is clear that there was a huge disconnect between what was going on in my and the girls' heads. I'm honestly a little confused. In most of my adult life, whenever I was alone with a girl and in an close/intimate situation, usually something happened. The way I had always perceived it was like this: by allowing herself to be put in that situation, that in itself was a green light to make a move. In these cases, I was obviously mistaken. But I have come up with a few theories of why this has happened.

there is some sexual tension in the air if the girl sees you as more than a friend. when she's fully comfortable and relaxed around you it means you're off her radar

[Hades]

Look around for eye contact, find a girl who stares right back. Don't break eye contact (though thirty seconds of chilling, boner softening eye contact is not unusual), walk over there, and creep on her a bit by touching her. Germans are direct about these sort of things.