Promised this Data Sheet a bit ago too, so here you go RVF's.
Night-Clubs + Day-Clubs
Hakkasan – Located at the MGM Hotel on the corner of Las Vegas Blvd and Tropicana, this is a brand new club that just opened in April of this year (2013). My first impression when I walked into this club was, 'Wow, the pictures make it seem bigger!', then I walked around the ENTIRE club. It's huge. The best way I can describe it, is if XS and Marquee had a baby, then Hakkasan would be the offspring.
The lighting and sound are f*ckin ridiculous and some of the best I've seen period in any club.
Hot girls everywhere and RIGHT NOW as I type this it's in the Top Tier for Best Looking Women to be found in Vegas. Hot girls love to be seen at the hottest spots and this is it. I highly recommend a table, because the dance floor is packed to the point where people can't move, but if your wallet is light then hang out at the back bar to the right of the Dj booth if you're facing the crowd. You can pull off a decent conversation without shouting and post up at the bar and see what glides past. It's also near the restrooms where hotties prance in and out of all night so you're close to the action.
Verdict: GO, if you have a hookup. Cover alone won't cut it. Fly girls and top-notch Djs.
Marquee – Located at the gorgeous Cosmopolitan hotel right off Las Vegas Blvd and Harmon Ave, Marquee is still one of my favorite clubs anywhere in the good ole' USA. It's still new enough to be considered in the Top 3 and they spend money on the big Djs so that continues to bring in a solid crowd.
My one complaint is it's dark as f*ck inside, so here's a Pro-Tip: When you find a chick you're feeling, then grab her hand and go to the outside pool area of Marquee. It's just as popping outside, but now you can f*ckin see what you're dealing with. If you don't like her looks after the moonlight has shone upon her troll face, then say you're going to use the restroom and walk off never to return. She won't find you so don't worry: Marquee is that big.
The flip-side to it being dark, is that if you have a table, it's EASY to f*ck sitting down (slide her dress up while you unzip your fly and unleash your c*ck). Presto +1!
I have pulled a lot of fly girls out of Marquee and it's the club that just keeps giving to me. The one negative that it has, is that the Asian population (nothing against them) has started to take over it, and I predict within a year it will be 80% asian. That being said, if you like hot Asian girls then look no further.
Verdict: GO, if you want to drop a lot on the door. Hot Asian girls + dope Djs = 'Love' for a long time.
Marquee Day-Club - Although smaller then there competition, Marquee's Day-Club is still a solid bet. More non-asian girls during the day and the Dj lineups, including having Kaskade's residency, brings out the hotties. The bottle waitress girls are some of my favorite in Vegas as well: Very f*ckin cute and fun.
Verdict: GO, and it won't cost you a semester of college. Plenty of hot girls + great logistics with Cosmo right there = easy Day-Club swoops to a room.
XS – My long-time favorite club of all time anywhere I've been, XS is a night-club on an entirely different level and that's why it cost $100 million bucks. Located off Las Vegas Blvd at the Encore Hotel, this joint is unreal. It's hard to describe how bad-ass this club is, but this is what I thought when I walked down the stairs into the club for my first time: Night-club Heaven.
I would recommend NOT getting a table here, for the simple reason is that this is a perfect club to roam. I have snagged up many a fly girl by walking around this club and just chatting them up. Hottest of the hot hit XS and predominately, fly white girls. The lay-out is perfect for mingling and on top of it all, when you're near the bar areas the acoustics of the interior is designed so you can actually HEAR people when talking. Golden.
Pro-Tip: Go on a Sunday night for the Night Swim and to meet cool locals and the MASSIVE pool area and club is now full of bikini-clad girls getting drunk at NIGHT. What more can you ask for? Perfect environment for swooping. One of my favorite club memories was getting the chance to hang out with Afrojack on stage as he spun into the early hours of a Monday morning. We were pouring shots into sluts mouths with a bottle of Goose while smoking cigs. Dude can hang and not many can with me.
Another Pro-Tip: Although security is downright mafioso in how they conduct themselves, the parking garage stairwells are generally unattended and if you duck in there with no one seeing you, you can pull a quickie with no problem.
Verdict: GO, even if you have to withdraw your 401k. Flyest girls in Vegas + perfect club layout = Easy Swoops.
Surrender Night-club / Encore Beach Day Club – My former employer and my second favorite club in Vegas, this club was voted the #1 Day-Club in the WORLD last summer. It's like paradise on earth for those of you who love a pool party with drunkin gorgeous fly girls prancing around shaking their taut asses and silicone tits for all to see. They sell out EVERY day for Day-Club and at night it transforms into Surrender Night-Club. It's gorgeous, the girls are from everywhere and there's all types, a lot of celebrities frequent it, they bring in top Djs and it's a f*ckin blast hands down.
Pro-Tip: If you want to f*ck on premises, then sneak into one of the four $20,000 cabanas' bathrooms, close/lock the door and go to town.
Verdict: GO, if you have a bad time, send me a nasty email. Female scenery + club setup scenery = a slice of Poosy Paradise.
Chateau – The first Vegas VIP Hosting position I had, was at this 2 story club underneath the 'Efiel Tower' located at Paris Hotel right on Las Vegas Blvd. Chatuea is a fun spot, but you will not find dimes. It's geared towards Hip-Hop fans and they bring out big rappers and hip-hop acts. The actual set-up of the club is quite bad-ass with a massive balcony area overlooking the strip and the 2nd level of the club being a elevator ride up to a massive area directly underneath the 'legs' of the 'Efiel Tower'. Quite the sight. Easy to swoop here if you have average skills.
Pro-Tip: Take a girl into the Gardens part of Chateau, find an empty cabana (at night-time they ALL are and it's dark) and bang. Just ask Security where the Gardens area is and they'll point you. Easy swoop location.
Verdict: POSSIBLY GO, if you're into more hip-hop music and are happy with swooping 7's. Entry is easy and you can get comps from the street promoters annoying the f*ck out of you, directly in front of Sugar Factory.
Palms Clubs: Moon and Ghostbar – At one time these two clubs used to be the IT spots. Well, that was a helluva long time ago. Unless you like fat girls and inept Djs complete with bad sound systems, then skip these spots. Logistics are a bitch as well, due to it being off the strip. I believe Moon is being renovated, but regardless of what they do to renovate it, it's not going to matter. They are shit. Real World Vegas was along time ago and the Hugh Hefner suite is full of semen covered walls and the cool factor has evaporated like water on the 15 Highway in 108 degree weather.
Verdict: DON'T GO. Just don't.
Palms Day Club (Ditch Fridays) – See above but throw in the bonus of now these fat girls are in bikinis. Excited yet?
Verdict: DON'T GO, unless you like to be blinded by stretch marks and pasty skin.
1-Oak - This spot is located at the Mirage Hotel and Casino and is a middle-tier spot, but it's pretty dependable for flat-out having fun. It's small for Vegas standards and depending on the night will drop hip-hop beats or house. There's a good ratio for guy/girls and they have all types. One thing I've noticed many times at 1Oak is that girls get DOWN. You'll see girls on the 'stripper' poles dancing like they're paying tuition and they get into that party-frenzy which you don't always see at the Top-Tier clubs.
Pro-Tip: The Mirage is a confusing ass hotel, I lost my car there for 3 days one time, no joke, so here's how you get to 1Oak: Walk in the MAIN entrance by Valet and make an immediate RIGHT. Walk past the massive fish tank and you'll see it on your left. Will save you some time from getting lost in the clusterf*ck of a casino that Mirage is.
2nd Pro-Tip: Go during the day to the front area of 1Oak and you'll see a suited up guy sitting/standing at a podium looking bored as f*ck. Ask him to add you to the Guestlist and he'll get you on the comped list for when you come back at night. Easy way to get in for FREE. You're welcome.
I Interrupt This Incredibly Informative Data-Sheet Momentarily To Bring You 2 PRO-TIPS...
Taxi-Tips -
1. See that massive Taxi-Line in front of the hotel? Go to the FRONT of the line to the bell-man, shake his hand with a $10 bill and you'll skip the line. Not worth it if the line is 10 people long, BUT very worth it when the line is 30 minutes+ long. I don't always do this, depends on how big of a rush I'm in, but it's very effective.
2. Tell the cabbie that you're a LOCAL, so he won't dick around and drive you 10 minutes out of your way to make extra money. If he is one of the talkative types and you're worried about bullshitting him, put your phone on SILENT (so it doesn't ring while you're 'on' it) and act like you're having a phone conversation. He won't interrupt you.
BARE Day Pool – This day-club is located at the Mirage as well. Follow the signs to get through the clusterf*ck casino and it's a bit of a walk, but it's worth it because BARE is one of the best-kept secrets of Vegas in my humble opinion. First off, it's called BARE because it's an ADULT pool, meaning sluts can go TOPLESS. A slice of Miami right in the Vegas heat. I love it. It's small as f*ck but an absolute blast. If you're a baller get a daybed at the far end of the pool overlooking the pool. Nothing like lounging on a day-bed with a few topless sluts laying on the bed around you while gorging yourself on appetizers washed down with vodka. Good times.
Pro-Tip: Grab a couple girls who are at the regular Mirage pool and take them with you, if you are solo, to make it easier to get in. They do not look kindly on one or two guys rolling up with zero girls. Also, DO NOT, under any circumstances, wear basketball shorts or anything other than actual swim-trunks. This goes for ANY day-club in Vegas. You might as well walk-up with a bulls-eye on your face.
2nd Pro-Tip: Unless you're a naturally dark muthaf*cka, spray yourself with a SPRAY suntan lotion, not rub-on lotion, followed by a few sprays of your favorite cologne from the bathroom attendant's collection. This does 2 Things: Protects your skin because the Vegas sun is brutal, but also gives you a sheen making your muscles look more defined and cut (spray NOT rub-on) The cologne is for the girls, what else?
Verdict: GO, unless you don't like tits. If so, exit this Data Sheet and head to the local bridge. Jump.
Tao – Located at the Venetian Hotel mid-strip, Tao used to be absolutely insane, but has cooled off quite a bit. Depending on the Dj it can pop though and I just recently pulled a dime out of there, albeit Kaskade was spinning and he brings out the fly girls by the dozens.
On an 'off' night when a major Dj is not spinning you will find that you are smack dab in Asia-fest. If you like Asian girls, then definitely hit this spot up. Unless I have a table I refuse to go though because it's stupidly crowded. Another pet peeve of mine with Tao, is that the bathroom setup is f*cking retarded in that the line stretches out by the bar and in a high-traffic area causing one to feel like a human pin-ball.
Pro-Tip: Do NOT wear nice dress shoes to this club because when you walk out at the end of the night they will look like hell. Sluts pay no attention to who they trounce on with their heels and fat security guards will trample your feet without regard.
Verdict: GO, if you have a table, OR you don't mind feeling like a sardine and you have a penchant for Asian girls.
Tao Beach Club – Small as f*ck and not the best looking crowd. Alot of roid-heads who I personally despise, so I would personally suggest not going. However, you may be a roid-head yourself, so consider going. The pool is the size of a postage stamp and the table setup is awkward and walking around you feel like you're going to randomly fall into the pool at any time. Lame.
Verdict: DON'T GO, unless you like the Jersey Shore crowd.
Lavo – Located at the Palazzo, next to the Venetian, Lavo is a decent spot. It's small and where the infamous Joquian Phoenix fiasco occurred when he fell off stage 'rapping'. I would skip it on your trip. Nothing to write home about.
Verdict: DON'T GO, there's too many great spots to party and swoop at.
Tryst – Located at the Wynn Hotel, this club is on my shit-list. I used to love this spot and had great success and then the cats running it got greedy and decided to let a helluva lot more guys in then girls. Now it's a sausage fest. Yes, the waterfall is dope, but I don't go to a club to watch a waterfall, I go to swoop a slut who's p*ssy will squirt a waterfall and there's nothing but a bunch of Persian dudes at Tryst now. Hopefully it changes.
Verdict: DON'T GO, unless a mini-Niagara waterfall gives you a hard-on.
Hyde – Remember when I told you I couldn't find my car for 3 days and thought I left it at the Mirage? Well, I originally had it parked at the Mirage, but in a state of blacked-out drunkeness, moved it to the Bellagio self-park. Not a good week. Anyways, Hyde is a gem in Vegas, but be prepared to bring your A-Game gents. The women are HOT and they know it. The bitch shields can come crumbling down with the right words though, and the spot is a blast to party at. It's small and the sister club of Los Angeles's Hyde club on Sunset Blvd.
Pro-Tip: The VIP Hosts at Hyde, for some odd reason, are pretty chill and may work with you on coming in. Alot of them are from LA, so if you're from SoCal drop that and see if they bite. People love to help their neighbors.
Drai's After-Hours – For you party warriors who can stay up past 2am without bitching and enjoy partying until the sun cracks, then Drai's is where you want to pop into, other than a strip-club. As of this moment, they have a temporary home at Bally's hotel right off Las Vegas Blvd and Flamingo but will return to their old home Bill's Gamblin' Hall and Saloon, once that hotel is renovated. It's a huge renovation and some NYC cats, who own the swanky Gansevoort, are changing it up, so should be dope, but not until next year. Victor Drai, the rich as f*ck nightclub kingpin also owns Drai's Hollywood at the W Hotel. I'll do a Los Angeles Data-Sheet soon and will have a writeup on that one as well.
Here's the deal about Drai's: It's cool from 4am-6am ish, then it's time to get the f*ck out of there. The crackheads start emerging and if you haven't swooped by then, then go home. It's a big locals-spot and many a night have been spend getting bent at Drai's.
Pro-Tip: Ratios are HUGE for them to let you into Drai's, OR tips. The line for Drai's is ridiculous so unless you have a hookup, be prepped to drop a serious tip, around $50 per guy PLUS cover. I highly recommend bringing a couple of fly girls with you from the previous club you've been at and they'll generally comp the girls and only charge you cover. Hot girls = currency in the club world.
Wet-Republic Day-Club – This day-club is pretty damn amazing. Encore Beach Club is still a better crowd, but Wet Republic is up there. This past Memorial Day Weekend I was their hosting clients while Calvin Harris and Deadmau5 spun and it was pretty insane. Alot of slutty girls and most are cute with a smaller percentage of dimes here, but easier for those without a lot of experience meeting women. It's fun, but expensive. One of those big plastic cups full of alcohol that would get an old Irish man drunk, costs a whopping $40, so you might want to pre-drink before hitting the pool.
Pro-Tip: They are very strict with ratios here unless you know someone. Funny how everything in Vegas is about who know isn't it? Bring 1 girl and you'll generally be ok; bring 2 girls and you're in, but you'll still pay cover unless you have a hookup.
There are a few more clubs, but these are the main ones. There are a couple new ones that just opened as well and I will have reviews up soon. If you don't see the club on this list, it's because you should skip it. Period.
Strip-Clubs
Spearmint Rhino – Considered by most to be the best strip-club in Vegas, but that point is argued until locals are blue in the face, I'll tell you in 3 reasons why I like the Rhino:
1. I get a free bottle when I go, whether it's just me, or myself and some girls. Don't ask how I do it, I just do.
2. There's a ton of girls working on any given night. It's insane, I don't know where they come from, but I think they have a secret hatch leading to Stripper Paradise and they funnel them in.
3. For some damn reason, the girls think that I'm related to Hugh Hefner. I'm not, for the record, but some local spread a rumor and now it's gotten a little ridiculous with them asking to get into Playboy mag. The entertainment value is quite good.
Hands down though, Spearmint is a good strip club, in terms of customer service, the personal dances they'll give you in private are 'generous' and the management are on-point.
Pro-Tip: This is a BIG one so pay attention because it'll save you money or f*ck you if not. If you call Rhino to send you and your boys a limo, tell the limo driver to take you to the BACK of the Rhino entrance. The difference is this: If he drops you off in the FRONT of Rhino, you have to pay him the limo fee + tip. If he drops you off in the BACK of Rhino (the locals/strippers entrance), you'll simply tip him and that's it. Subtle difference that can save you easily $60+ bucks.
Verdict: GO. Naked girls. Any other reasons needed?
Hustler – I'm torn with this strip joint, because it's a great venue and the management is just top-notch, however the location is my pet peeve. It's just a bit too far to justify bringing my clients to and they don't have as many girls on shift as Rhino. That being said, the Larry Flynt Room, is reserved for Larry ONLY, no matter what. I had the privalidge of getting to hang out in the room and that was quite the experience. Hustler is a good choice as well, if you prefer more light in a strip-club and a less crowded environment.
Verdict: PROBABLY GO, if you like a less crowded environment and don't mind being off the strip.
Locals'-Spots
Steiner's Pub – I don't get sentimental often, but I want to shed tears of joy when I remember all the great times I had at Steiner's, specifically, the one on South Las Vegas Blvd by Rainbow. Here's why you'll love Steiner's:
1. It's cheap as f*ck period and even cheaper once you're 'in' with one of the bartenders. Vegas treats their locals really well, and I have racked up multiple $80+ tabs at Steiner's, only to get my bill and it's $23.
2. It's a Stripper/Bottle-Waitress/Go-Go Dancer after-work hangout. Do you have the gift of gab? Perfect for you.
3. You can order a drink, have a cig and eat steak and eggs at the SAME time. The only thing missing is a f*ckin horse tethered outside to a hitching post. Yes, I said 'tethered'.
4. It NEVER closes. I've walked in at 4:30am and walked out at 10am. Yes, I was drunk, but how many cities can you do that in?
Verdict: GO, kick back and have fun. Girls will be there, they always are.
[b]Peppermill's – This is a classic joint, perfect to hit up after the club if you haven't pulled anything, if you need more time warming your 'date' up, or if you're still on the prowl. When you go in though make sure you go to the Fireside Lounge part and skip the diner. The Lounge is to the left when you walk in and is something out of Carlito's Way meets Scarface.
Smoke, drink some more, order some shrimp cocktail, and convince that stripper slut at the end of the bar to go home with you. I've never had a bad time at Peppermill's, save the time a client tried walking out on a bill. I horse-collared him and he 'suddenly remembered he didn't pay!'. Bastard.
Verdict: GO, just because you haven't really done Vegas, until you've visited Peppermills.
Night-Clubs + Day-Clubs
Hakkasan – Located at the MGM Hotel on the corner of Las Vegas Blvd and Tropicana, this is a brand new club that just opened in April of this year (2013). My first impression when I walked into this club was, 'Wow, the pictures make it seem bigger!', then I walked around the ENTIRE club. It's huge. The best way I can describe it, is if XS and Marquee had a baby, then Hakkasan would be the offspring.
The lighting and sound are f*ckin ridiculous and some of the best I've seen period in any club.
Hot girls everywhere and RIGHT NOW as I type this it's in the Top Tier for Best Looking Women to be found in Vegas. Hot girls love to be seen at the hottest spots and this is it. I highly recommend a table, because the dance floor is packed to the point where people can't move, but if your wallet is light then hang out at the back bar to the right of the Dj booth if you're facing the crowd. You can pull off a decent conversation without shouting and post up at the bar and see what glides past. It's also near the restrooms where hotties prance in and out of all night so you're close to the action.
Verdict: GO, if you have a hookup. Cover alone won't cut it. Fly girls and top-notch Djs.
Marquee – Located at the gorgeous Cosmopolitan hotel right off Las Vegas Blvd and Harmon Ave, Marquee is still one of my favorite clubs anywhere in the good ole' USA. It's still new enough to be considered in the Top 3 and they spend money on the big Djs so that continues to bring in a solid crowd.
My one complaint is it's dark as f*ck inside, so here's a Pro-Tip: When you find a chick you're feeling, then grab her hand and go to the outside pool area of Marquee. It's just as popping outside, but now you can f*ckin see what you're dealing with. If you don't like her looks after the moonlight has shone upon her troll face, then say you're going to use the restroom and walk off never to return. She won't find you so don't worry: Marquee is that big.
The flip-side to it being dark, is that if you have a table, it's EASY to f*ck sitting down (slide her dress up while you unzip your fly and unleash your c*ck). Presto +1!
I have pulled a lot of fly girls out of Marquee and it's the club that just keeps giving to me. The one negative that it has, is that the Asian population (nothing against them) has started to take over it, and I predict within a year it will be 80% asian. That being said, if you like hot Asian girls then look no further.
Verdict: GO, if you want to drop a lot on the door. Hot Asian girls + dope Djs = 'Love' for a long time.
Marquee Day-Club - Although smaller then there competition, Marquee's Day-Club is still a solid bet. More non-asian girls during the day and the Dj lineups, including having Kaskade's residency, brings out the hotties. The bottle waitress girls are some of my favorite in Vegas as well: Very f*ckin cute and fun.
Verdict: GO, and it won't cost you a semester of college. Plenty of hot girls + great logistics with Cosmo right there = easy Day-Club swoops to a room.
XS – My long-time favorite club of all time anywhere I've been, XS is a night-club on an entirely different level and that's why it cost $100 million bucks. Located off Las Vegas Blvd at the Encore Hotel, this joint is unreal. It's hard to describe how bad-ass this club is, but this is what I thought when I walked down the stairs into the club for my first time: Night-club Heaven.
I would recommend NOT getting a table here, for the simple reason is that this is a perfect club to roam. I have snagged up many a fly girl by walking around this club and just chatting them up. Hottest of the hot hit XS and predominately, fly white girls. The lay-out is perfect for mingling and on top of it all, when you're near the bar areas the acoustics of the interior is designed so you can actually HEAR people when talking. Golden.
Pro-Tip: Go on a Sunday night for the Night Swim and to meet cool locals and the MASSIVE pool area and club is now full of bikini-clad girls getting drunk at NIGHT. What more can you ask for? Perfect environment for swooping. One of my favorite club memories was getting the chance to hang out with Afrojack on stage as he spun into the early hours of a Monday morning. We were pouring shots into sluts mouths with a bottle of Goose while smoking cigs. Dude can hang and not many can with me.
Another Pro-Tip: Although security is downright mafioso in how they conduct themselves, the parking garage stairwells are generally unattended and if you duck in there with no one seeing you, you can pull a quickie with no problem.
Verdict: GO, even if you have to withdraw your 401k. Flyest girls in Vegas + perfect club layout = Easy Swoops.
Surrender Night-club / Encore Beach Day Club – My former employer and my second favorite club in Vegas, this club was voted the #1 Day-Club in the WORLD last summer. It's like paradise on earth for those of you who love a pool party with drunkin gorgeous fly girls prancing around shaking their taut asses and silicone tits for all to see. They sell out EVERY day for Day-Club and at night it transforms into Surrender Night-Club. It's gorgeous, the girls are from everywhere and there's all types, a lot of celebrities frequent it, they bring in top Djs and it's a f*ckin blast hands down.
Pro-Tip: If you want to f*ck on premises, then sneak into one of the four $20,000 cabanas' bathrooms, close/lock the door and go to town.
Verdict: GO, if you have a bad time, send me a nasty email. Female scenery + club setup scenery = a slice of Poosy Paradise.
Chateau – The first Vegas VIP Hosting position I had, was at this 2 story club underneath the 'Efiel Tower' located at Paris Hotel right on Las Vegas Blvd. Chatuea is a fun spot, but you will not find dimes. It's geared towards Hip-Hop fans and they bring out big rappers and hip-hop acts. The actual set-up of the club is quite bad-ass with a massive balcony area overlooking the strip and the 2nd level of the club being a elevator ride up to a massive area directly underneath the 'legs' of the 'Efiel Tower'. Quite the sight. Easy to swoop here if you have average skills.
Pro-Tip: Take a girl into the Gardens part of Chateau, find an empty cabana (at night-time they ALL are and it's dark) and bang. Just ask Security where the Gardens area is and they'll point you. Easy swoop location.
Verdict: POSSIBLY GO, if you're into more hip-hop music and are happy with swooping 7's. Entry is easy and you can get comps from the street promoters annoying the f*ck out of you, directly in front of Sugar Factory.
Palms Clubs: Moon and Ghostbar – At one time these two clubs used to be the IT spots. Well, that was a helluva long time ago. Unless you like fat girls and inept Djs complete with bad sound systems, then skip these spots. Logistics are a bitch as well, due to it being off the strip. I believe Moon is being renovated, but regardless of what they do to renovate it, it's not going to matter. They are shit. Real World Vegas was along time ago and the Hugh Hefner suite is full of semen covered walls and the cool factor has evaporated like water on the 15 Highway in 108 degree weather.
Verdict: DON'T GO. Just don't.
Palms Day Club (Ditch Fridays) – See above but throw in the bonus of now these fat girls are in bikinis. Excited yet?
Verdict: DON'T GO, unless you like to be blinded by stretch marks and pasty skin.
1-Oak - This spot is located at the Mirage Hotel and Casino and is a middle-tier spot, but it's pretty dependable for flat-out having fun. It's small for Vegas standards and depending on the night will drop hip-hop beats or house. There's a good ratio for guy/girls and they have all types. One thing I've noticed many times at 1Oak is that girls get DOWN. You'll see girls on the 'stripper' poles dancing like they're paying tuition and they get into that party-frenzy which you don't always see at the Top-Tier clubs.
Pro-Tip: The Mirage is a confusing ass hotel, I lost my car there for 3 days one time, no joke, so here's how you get to 1Oak: Walk in the MAIN entrance by Valet and make an immediate RIGHT. Walk past the massive fish tank and you'll see it on your left. Will save you some time from getting lost in the clusterf*ck of a casino that Mirage is.
2nd Pro-Tip: Go during the day to the front area of 1Oak and you'll see a suited up guy sitting/standing at a podium looking bored as f*ck. Ask him to add you to the Guestlist and he'll get you on the comped list for when you come back at night. Easy way to get in for FREE. You're welcome.
I Interrupt This Incredibly Informative Data-Sheet Momentarily To Bring You 2 PRO-TIPS...
Taxi-Tips -
1. See that massive Taxi-Line in front of the hotel? Go to the FRONT of the line to the bell-man, shake his hand with a $10 bill and you'll skip the line. Not worth it if the line is 10 people long, BUT very worth it when the line is 30 minutes+ long. I don't always do this, depends on how big of a rush I'm in, but it's very effective.
2. Tell the cabbie that you're a LOCAL, so he won't dick around and drive you 10 minutes out of your way to make extra money. If he is one of the talkative types and you're worried about bullshitting him, put your phone on SILENT (so it doesn't ring while you're 'on' it) and act like you're having a phone conversation. He won't interrupt you.
BARE Day Pool – This day-club is located at the Mirage as well. Follow the signs to get through the clusterf*ck casino and it's a bit of a walk, but it's worth it because BARE is one of the best-kept secrets of Vegas in my humble opinion. First off, it's called BARE because it's an ADULT pool, meaning sluts can go TOPLESS. A slice of Miami right in the Vegas heat. I love it. It's small as f*ck but an absolute blast. If you're a baller get a daybed at the far end of the pool overlooking the pool. Nothing like lounging on a day-bed with a few topless sluts laying on the bed around you while gorging yourself on appetizers washed down with vodka. Good times.
Pro-Tip: Grab a couple girls who are at the regular Mirage pool and take them with you, if you are solo, to make it easier to get in. They do not look kindly on one or two guys rolling up with zero girls. Also, DO NOT, under any circumstances, wear basketball shorts or anything other than actual swim-trunks. This goes for ANY day-club in Vegas. You might as well walk-up with a bulls-eye on your face.
2nd Pro-Tip: Unless you're a naturally dark muthaf*cka, spray yourself with a SPRAY suntan lotion, not rub-on lotion, followed by a few sprays of your favorite cologne from the bathroom attendant's collection. This does 2 Things: Protects your skin because the Vegas sun is brutal, but also gives you a sheen making your muscles look more defined and cut (spray NOT rub-on) The cologne is for the girls, what else?
Verdict: GO, unless you don't like tits. If so, exit this Data Sheet and head to the local bridge. Jump.
Tao – Located at the Venetian Hotel mid-strip, Tao used to be absolutely insane, but has cooled off quite a bit. Depending on the Dj it can pop though and I just recently pulled a dime out of there, albeit Kaskade was spinning and he brings out the fly girls by the dozens.
On an 'off' night when a major Dj is not spinning you will find that you are smack dab in Asia-fest. If you like Asian girls, then definitely hit this spot up. Unless I have a table I refuse to go though because it's stupidly crowded. Another pet peeve of mine with Tao, is that the bathroom setup is f*cking retarded in that the line stretches out by the bar and in a high-traffic area causing one to feel like a human pin-ball.
Pro-Tip: Do NOT wear nice dress shoes to this club because when you walk out at the end of the night they will look like hell. Sluts pay no attention to who they trounce on with their heels and fat security guards will trample your feet without regard.
Verdict: GO, if you have a table, OR you don't mind feeling like a sardine and you have a penchant for Asian girls.
Tao Beach Club – Small as f*ck and not the best looking crowd. Alot of roid-heads who I personally despise, so I would personally suggest not going. However, you may be a roid-head yourself, so consider going. The pool is the size of a postage stamp and the table setup is awkward and walking around you feel like you're going to randomly fall into the pool at any time. Lame.
Verdict: DON'T GO, unless you like the Jersey Shore crowd.
Lavo – Located at the Palazzo, next to the Venetian, Lavo is a decent spot. It's small and where the infamous Joquian Phoenix fiasco occurred when he fell off stage 'rapping'. I would skip it on your trip. Nothing to write home about.
Verdict: DON'T GO, there's too many great spots to party and swoop at.
Tryst – Located at the Wynn Hotel, this club is on my shit-list. I used to love this spot and had great success and then the cats running it got greedy and decided to let a helluva lot more guys in then girls. Now it's a sausage fest. Yes, the waterfall is dope, but I don't go to a club to watch a waterfall, I go to swoop a slut who's p*ssy will squirt a waterfall and there's nothing but a bunch of Persian dudes at Tryst now. Hopefully it changes.
Verdict: DON'T GO, unless a mini-Niagara waterfall gives you a hard-on.
Hyde – Remember when I told you I couldn't find my car for 3 days and thought I left it at the Mirage? Well, I originally had it parked at the Mirage, but in a state of blacked-out drunkeness, moved it to the Bellagio self-park. Not a good week. Anyways, Hyde is a gem in Vegas, but be prepared to bring your A-Game gents. The women are HOT and they know it. The bitch shields can come crumbling down with the right words though, and the spot is a blast to party at. It's small and the sister club of Los Angeles's Hyde club on Sunset Blvd.
Pro-Tip: The VIP Hosts at Hyde, for some odd reason, are pretty chill and may work with you on coming in. Alot of them are from LA, so if you're from SoCal drop that and see if they bite. People love to help their neighbors.
Drai's After-Hours – For you party warriors who can stay up past 2am without bitching and enjoy partying until the sun cracks, then Drai's is where you want to pop into, other than a strip-club. As of this moment, they have a temporary home at Bally's hotel right off Las Vegas Blvd and Flamingo but will return to their old home Bill's Gamblin' Hall and Saloon, once that hotel is renovated. It's a huge renovation and some NYC cats, who own the swanky Gansevoort, are changing it up, so should be dope, but not until next year. Victor Drai, the rich as f*ck nightclub kingpin also owns Drai's Hollywood at the W Hotel. I'll do a Los Angeles Data-Sheet soon and will have a writeup on that one as well.
Here's the deal about Drai's: It's cool from 4am-6am ish, then it's time to get the f*ck out of there. The crackheads start emerging and if you haven't swooped by then, then go home. It's a big locals-spot and many a night have been spend getting bent at Drai's.
Pro-Tip: Ratios are HUGE for them to let you into Drai's, OR tips. The line for Drai's is ridiculous so unless you have a hookup, be prepped to drop a serious tip, around $50 per guy PLUS cover. I highly recommend bringing a couple of fly girls with you from the previous club you've been at and they'll generally comp the girls and only charge you cover. Hot girls = currency in the club world.
Wet-Republic Day-Club – This day-club is pretty damn amazing. Encore Beach Club is still a better crowd, but Wet Republic is up there. This past Memorial Day Weekend I was their hosting clients while Calvin Harris and Deadmau5 spun and it was pretty insane. Alot of slutty girls and most are cute with a smaller percentage of dimes here, but easier for those without a lot of experience meeting women. It's fun, but expensive. One of those big plastic cups full of alcohol that would get an old Irish man drunk, costs a whopping $40, so you might want to pre-drink before hitting the pool.
Pro-Tip: They are very strict with ratios here unless you know someone. Funny how everything in Vegas is about who know isn't it? Bring 1 girl and you'll generally be ok; bring 2 girls and you're in, but you'll still pay cover unless you have a hookup.
There are a few more clubs, but these are the main ones. There are a couple new ones that just opened as well and I will have reviews up soon. If you don't see the club on this list, it's because you should skip it. Period.
Strip-Clubs
Spearmint Rhino – Considered by most to be the best strip-club in Vegas, but that point is argued until locals are blue in the face, I'll tell you in 3 reasons why I like the Rhino:
1. I get a free bottle when I go, whether it's just me, or myself and some girls. Don't ask how I do it, I just do.
2. There's a ton of girls working on any given night. It's insane, I don't know where they come from, but I think they have a secret hatch leading to Stripper Paradise and they funnel them in.
3. For some damn reason, the girls think that I'm related to Hugh Hefner. I'm not, for the record, but some local spread a rumor and now it's gotten a little ridiculous with them asking to get into Playboy mag. The entertainment value is quite good.
Hands down though, Spearmint is a good strip club, in terms of customer service, the personal dances they'll give you in private are 'generous' and the management are on-point.
Pro-Tip: This is a BIG one so pay attention because it'll save you money or f*ck you if not. If you call Rhino to send you and your boys a limo, tell the limo driver to take you to the BACK of the Rhino entrance. The difference is this: If he drops you off in the FRONT of Rhino, you have to pay him the limo fee + tip. If he drops you off in the BACK of Rhino (the locals/strippers entrance), you'll simply tip him and that's it. Subtle difference that can save you easily $60+ bucks.
Verdict: GO. Naked girls. Any other reasons needed?
Hustler – I'm torn with this strip joint, because it's a great venue and the management is just top-notch, however the location is my pet peeve. It's just a bit too far to justify bringing my clients to and they don't have as many girls on shift as Rhino. That being said, the Larry Flynt Room, is reserved for Larry ONLY, no matter what. I had the privalidge of getting to hang out in the room and that was quite the experience. Hustler is a good choice as well, if you prefer more light in a strip-club and a less crowded environment.
Verdict: PROBABLY GO, if you like a less crowded environment and don't mind being off the strip.
Locals'-Spots
Steiner's Pub – I don't get sentimental often, but I want to shed tears of joy when I remember all the great times I had at Steiner's, specifically, the one on South Las Vegas Blvd by Rainbow. Here's why you'll love Steiner's:
1. It's cheap as f*ck period and even cheaper once you're 'in' with one of the bartenders. Vegas treats their locals really well, and I have racked up multiple $80+ tabs at Steiner's, only to get my bill and it's $23.
2. It's a Stripper/Bottle-Waitress/Go-Go Dancer after-work hangout. Do you have the gift of gab? Perfect for you.
3. You can order a drink, have a cig and eat steak and eggs at the SAME time. The only thing missing is a f*ckin horse tethered outside to a hitching post. Yes, I said 'tethered'.
4. It NEVER closes. I've walked in at 4:30am and walked out at 10am. Yes, I was drunk, but how many cities can you do that in?
Verdict: GO, kick back and have fun. Girls will be there, they always are.
[b]Peppermill's – This is a classic joint, perfect to hit up after the club if you haven't pulled anything, if you need more time warming your 'date' up, or if you're still on the prowl. When you go in though make sure you go to the Fireside Lounge part and skip the diner. The Lounge is to the left when you walk in and is something out of Carlito's Way meets Scarface.
Smoke, drink some more, order some shrimp cocktail, and convince that stripper slut at the end of the bar to go home with you. I've never had a bad time at Peppermill's, save the time a client tried walking out on a bill. I horse-collared him and he 'suddenly remembered he didn't pay!'. Bastard.
Verdict: GO, just because you haven't really done Vegas, until you've visited Peppermills.
