[la_mode]

I mean in the sense that people expect you to be a jerk off how you present yourself, but when they actually sit down and talk to you, they are taken aback by how pleasant you are in conversation. If you're dressed to the 9s, in shape, and attractive, it will usually be assumed.

To take it a step further, specifically with women, you don't focus on being outwardly alpha all the time, but aren't beta, and rely more on having a cocky personality as your alphaness. Sebastian Valmont in Cruel Intentions.

My theory, it's always better for women to perceive you as a cocky jerk - even if you aren't.

Agree/disagree?

[eradicator]

You want to be congruent with your actual personality. If you are trying to be something you aren't, people will pick up on that right away

[reaper23]

100% this is the core of my game

if i dont hear a girl say to me, you're nothing like i thought you'd be, then i'm doing something wrong.

always have first impression be cocky, jerk, arrogant, whatever - but then when you get them alone, or a few days later, the sensitive side has to come out.

with the alpha frame established, comfort and intimacy is what they need.

you cant be an asshole all the time. you have to give them the soft side of the cookie every once in a while. and like i said, once the alpha frame is established, you need to give them more and more of it and can get away with being more and more beta because they think of you as an alpha acting beta...not the other way around

[Sudden]

What reaper said...

Strong alpha first impressions will carry a good frame through the early stages of interaction and need to be peppered in through out. But to sustain attraction in such a way that you can maintain a woman as an option over a period of time, you need to also demonstrate some beta comfort building to provide the oxytocin. That is vintage athol kay and it's one must do to turn number closes and snls into long term options that actually fall in love with you (and the peak of game isn't notch count, it's how many high value women become enamoured with you).

In terms of the op about initial interaction incongruence between alpha appearance and beta demeanor, it can work if it's authentic, but you WILL get many shit tests and must be adept at handling those. It's contrast, multi dimensional, intriguing and mysterious, and what makes a compelling man.