*Warning drunk post, may be nonsensical at times*
Sometimes I wax philosophically on this game shit, the contradictions, dualities, and dichotomies that exist within this theoretical, yet tangible thing we call game.
For example, girl has a fucking rocking body, fat, round ass, tight midriff, big tits, and pretty face, my cock has fallen in love, yet when I approach in a confident manner and speak to her, she acts like a total cunt, treating me like I am the elephant man. My mind is utterly repulsed telling me that she is a shitty, person, mentally I am turned off, but my penis feels the complete opposite way. The brain says, ugghhhh she's a bitch, would be a horror to try and hang out with and talk to for more than a few minutes, but my dick says put up with all her bullshit at any cost, if it means sinking in at the end of the night.
The dick and the brain, two separate axis points, competing for dominance, Seinfeld got it right in the episode where the dick and the brain are playing against each other in a chess match.
So I'm at the bar, playing it cool, I don't want to act like a give a fuck, and in many ways I don't, but also in many ways I do. If I truly didn't give a fuck, I wouldn't have gotten "suited and booted", I wouldn't have showered, shaved, groomed, picked out a dope matching outfit, I wouldn't have pregamed, I wouldn't have left the confines of my comfortable house, with my big couch, flat screen TV, HBO, glass bubbler and my OG Kush.
If I truly didn't give a fuck I would be like my stoner friends who have given up and don't even try to get laid. I give a fuck, I have to give a fuck to drag my ass out, when I am feeling tired, anti-social, when the prospect of eating a snack, chilling, smoking weed, and getting a good night sleep is so easy.
You have to want it, you have to have the burning desire to get laid. You have to punch in the clock, and put in the work approaching girls that are fucking cunts, but your cock tells you it want to go balls deep.
Yet while you have to have that burning desire, you also need to condition yourself to ignore that desire, you have to give off the vibe like you have no desire at all, like every girl in the venue can think you are a total loser and laugh in your face, but at the end of the night you could give to fucks and care less about them.
I feel that I have achieved this level of detachment, yet on some level I still do give a fuck. Fortunately, I have let go of the anger, resentment, and hurt feelings. Now I can totally get rejected and blown out of the water, a girl can laugh in my face, and I will still walk away with a smile on my face.
Still on some level I ask, what it's all for, and whether it's all worth it. I still get disillusioned by the game. I still understand the guy who goes out 4 times a week and plows till 3 AM, walking the streets and working the streets till there are no more prospects to approach. WHile I understand him, I understand the guys who just say fuck it and don't try at all. This is where the contradictions of the game puzzle me.
My time spent in the game has taught me a lot, it's caused me to grow, but it's also caused me to die. I certainly wouldn't be the same person without it, probably for the better, but maybe for the worst.
I used to believe that true love is possible and there is someone out there for everyone. When I thought I was experiencing and living true love, it all turned out to be a fucking facade or a fucking charade. I found out that "submitting" to love, at least with the wrong person is a recipe for disaster. I metaphorically experienced getting "my heart ripped out of my chest."
I experienced some of the darkest depths a man can experience, deceit, treachery, and devastation. It made my heart grow dark and cold, I wanted to live with love, but now I don't know if love is an illusion, something that is real that a man can truly experience, or if it is just a mirage or a holagram, something we believe is in our grasp and we are experiencing, only to have slip and fade away.
Now I believe, I will never fall in love, I will never meet the girl of my dreams, I will never live "happily ever after..." All that there is is me, and I will continue to live this way, until I die.
Sometimes I wax philosophically on this game shit, the contradictions, dualities, and dichotomies that exist within this theoretical, yet tangible thing we call game.
For example, girl has a fucking rocking body, fat, round ass, tight midriff, big tits, and pretty face, my cock has fallen in love, yet when I approach in a confident manner and speak to her, she acts like a total cunt, treating me like I am the elephant man. My mind is utterly repulsed telling me that she is a shitty, person, mentally I am turned off, but my penis feels the complete opposite way. The brain says, ugghhhh she's a bitch, would be a horror to try and hang out with and talk to for more than a few minutes, but my dick says put up with all her bullshit at any cost, if it means sinking in at the end of the night.
The dick and the brain, two separate axis points, competing for dominance, Seinfeld got it right in the episode where the dick and the brain are playing against each other in a chess match.
So I'm at the bar, playing it cool, I don't want to act like a give a fuck, and in many ways I don't, but also in many ways I do. If I truly didn't give a fuck, I wouldn't have gotten "suited and booted", I wouldn't have showered, shaved, groomed, picked out a dope matching outfit, I wouldn't have pregamed, I wouldn't have left the confines of my comfortable house, with my big couch, flat screen TV, HBO, glass bubbler and my OG Kush.
If I truly didn't give a fuck I would be like my stoner friends who have given up and don't even try to get laid. I give a fuck, I have to give a fuck to drag my ass out, when I am feeling tired, anti-social, when the prospect of eating a snack, chilling, smoking weed, and getting a good night sleep is so easy.
You have to want it, you have to have the burning desire to get laid. You have to punch in the clock, and put in the work approaching girls that are fucking cunts, but your cock tells you it want to go balls deep.
Yet while you have to have that burning desire, you also need to condition yourself to ignore that desire, you have to give off the vibe like you have no desire at all, like every girl in the venue can think you are a total loser and laugh in your face, but at the end of the night you could give to fucks and care less about them.
I feel that I have achieved this level of detachment, yet on some level I still do give a fuck. Fortunately, I have let go of the anger, resentment, and hurt feelings. Now I can totally get rejected and blown out of the water, a girl can laugh in my face, and I will still walk away with a smile on my face.
Still on some level I ask, what it's all for, and whether it's all worth it. I still get disillusioned by the game. I still understand the guy who goes out 4 times a week and plows till 3 AM, walking the streets and working the streets till there are no more prospects to approach. WHile I understand him, I understand the guys who just say fuck it and don't try at all. This is where the contradictions of the game puzzle me.
My time spent in the game has taught me a lot, it's caused me to grow, but it's also caused me to die. I certainly wouldn't be the same person without it, probably for the better, but maybe for the worst.
I used to believe that true love is possible and there is someone out there for everyone. When I thought I was experiencing and living true love, it all turned out to be a fucking facade or a fucking charade. I found out that "submitting" to love, at least with the wrong person is a recipe for disaster. I metaphorically experienced getting "my heart ripped out of my chest."
I experienced some of the darkest depths a man can experience, deceit, treachery, and devastation. It made my heart grow dark and cold, I wanted to live with love, but now I don't know if love is an illusion, something that is real that a man can truly experience, or if it is just a mirage or a holagram, something we believe is in our grasp and we are experiencing, only to have slip and fade away.
Now I believe, I will never fall in love, I will never meet the girl of my dreams, I will never live "happily ever after..." All that there is is me, and I will continue to live this way, until I die.