[iknowexactly]

Eventual subject of this : finger drumming--means you are blown?

I went to REI (outdoor store) in Sacramento. So this young woman about 26, 6, kind of a pinched looking face, not soft looking is helping me with trying on bicycling shoes and looking at pedals.

She seems kind of cold, definitely no sparkle. But I decided to practice asking her about herself, she was pretty knowledgable about the products so I could tell she was a cyclist herself.

We got on the mountain bike versus road bike issue, and she commented that she didn't have her own mountain bike. She said she "borrowed" mountain bikes when she wanted to ride, and "recommended" that.

From the way she was saying this I could tell she meant that since mountain biking is tough on the bike, she would borrow bikes so when they were damaged, it would be someone else's bike!!

I though this was so parasitic, I was shocked, and I politely confronted her about it.

"Well, do you pay for the parts when you do that?"

She wasn't even fazed, and commented that the "people" she know worked in bike shops so they could somehow magically work on or get free parts or something.

The worst part was I could tell she wasn't even embarrassed about being a f'ing exploitive b&tch.

I now had no interest in her, but just kept talking to her as I tried on the shoes etc.

At one point I could see her start drumming her fingers on something, just for a half second or so. Am I wrong on this, or does someone invested in a conversation EVER drum their fingers? My impression is no, this is really a boredom or irritation flag. She kept eye contact with me, but I think that was just female social skill, because almost immediately after drumming her fingers for a few seconds she started talking about her boyfriend.

It seems finger drumming is a really strong IOD to me.

What do you think?

[mangadooza]

In my experience, it depends on the speed. For example, once I had a girl --- that I later banged -- finger drum very rapidly during our first interaction. She was drumming all her fingers at the same time, with high energy. In retrospect, I saw this as an IOI, an expression of her anxiety.

Another time, I had a girl slowly drum her fingers, one finger at a time. It was a lethargic drumming that I took to mean be an IOD. She was just bored and impatient.

But I always try to contextualize everything no matter what. The sum is greater than its parts.

[Kona]

(10-03-2010 07:16 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

At one point I could see her start drumming her fingers on something, just for a half second or so. Am I wrong on this, or does someone invested in a conversation EVER drum their fingers? My impression is no, this is really a boredom or irritation flag. She kept eye contact with me, but I think that was just female social skill, because almost immediately after drumming her fingers for a few seconds she started talking about her boyfriend.

It seems finger drumming is a really strong IOD to me.

What do you think?

The girl probably pulls a commission from what she rings up. She also probably has a boss that's on her to get her sales up. She was just nervous, and trying to get you to buy something or move on.

She didn't want to talk to you about anything other than buying something. That's why she brought up the boyfriend.

Aloha!

[iknowexactly]

Both commenters raised great points. I think if it's paired with nervousness you might be right, nobody can really be horny without some overall level of high energy, right?

Although one of the things good about REI is they aren't on commission as far as I know ( but their prices are high), I think it's a good point that "she didn't want to talk about anything but me buying stuff."

I think we may have a consensus that slow idle drumming is a pretty clear IOD, both because its physical and unconscious almost all the time.
Something like that seems more revealing than facial expression which it seem women are really adept at faking. ( The classic example of women who hate each other smiling and hugging is a good example.)

I had IOD'd myself by mentioning I was over 40 so I wasn't racing at that time.

I hope that unashamedly tooling guys like that (riding their bikes when there's danger of busting them) is more common in America than elsewhere. How truly tacky. It's sort of low-level psychopathy.

Anyway, I just need to find one woman with at least a rudimentary functioning conscience. They must exist, I know my mother and sisters wouldn't do S*** like that.