[Conrad Turnipson]

In your experience, are guys who are extroverts and more than capable of holding down a conversation (on a variety of topics) with males also quite confident when interacting with females?

Do you know of any “players” who are rather awkward (due to inherent shyness, negative experiences related to bullying, etc.) when conversing with people of their own gender, but are nonetheless very successful with females and really manage to put their best foot forward when speaking to women (who are said to be on average more “emotionally intelligent” than men)?

Do you believe that guys who don’t have many male friends in their social circle or on social networking websites like Facebook are regarded as more suspicious by females (women are less inclined to trust them)?

I get the impression that most “bad boys” and daredevil types are popular with their male peers and generally do not need to be confrontational with other males in order to draw attention to themselves. Are male “loners” and “lone wolves” who don’t have male confidants (other than parents or other relatives) at a severe disadvantage when it comes to approaching females (even if they are not necessarily beta types)?

[Kabal]

Yes, all else equal, success with girls and overall popularity are positively correlated.

Game is just applied social skills.

Being well-liked and well-respected by other men can even cause success with girls, as girls are naturally drawn to leaders, and generally high social status men.

[Beyond Borders]

(08-11-2013 04:25 PM)Kabal Wrote:  

Yes, all else equal, success with girls and overall popularity are positively correlated.

Game is just applied social skills.

Being well-liked and well-respected by other men can even cause success with girls, as girls are naturally drawn to leaders, and generally high social status men.

You're absolutely right, but...

That said, I'm pretty sure I've run into a lone wolf type that is successful with women about just as often - it's just a particular type of lone wolf that pulls it off. He's the guy who always seems to have a beautiful woman on his arm every time you see him but doesn't have a clear-cut social circle. People respect him and only say good things about him when he's not around, but he comes and goes at his own pace.

He almost seems to make everyone his social circle and has a lot of charisma, seemingly making instant friends and becoming the life of the party at any get-together full of strangers, but in his overall life very independent by nature. These guys also tend to do the serial monagamy thing rather than only one-night stands, but they may go through these "serious relationships" quickly.

I've met a good handful of older guys like this growing up and thinking of them all now, they're probably the closest thing to men I've looked up to in my time. Without really trying, I've modeled myself after men like this and now its the guy I fancy myself as being, though I certainly still have a ton of room for improvement.

I know the above sounds a bit glorified and like some flat character that doesn't actually exist, so I will say these guys definitely still have their flaws, especially if you ever get a chance to get closer to them. Most of the ones I know are pretty intelligent but unreasonably stubborn and set in their ways and tend to carry addictions beneath what seems like a pretty measured facade. Once again, I fit that bill too.

I can think of four men like this right now without even putting much thought into it. Actually, make that five. Anyone else ever observed or admired this type? Or think it sounds a bit like you?

[Conrad Turnipson]

Thank you for the responses!

@Kabal, indeed, if a man complains about shyness/inability to communicate with women, it may be wise to advise him to first try to look at techniques that could help him improve his conversation skills with guys and then move on to charming women.

@Beyond Borders, well put, lone wolves could appear quite interesting and appeal to women, as they may be less likely to talk about “typical guy stuff” and could provide a nice blend between the “mysterious intellectual” and the “rugged bad boy” type.