[Benja]

Hey all,

I've been reading from these forums for a while and thought now is the time to make my first post.

I'd like to introduce myself a little and explain why im here:

So i'm 32 but i look no older than mid twenties, most people dont beleive me when i say how old i am. I was in a long haul relationship, over 8 years until a year ago and aside from two beautiful children it was a negative experience, very negative. She was a bitch, a liar, a control freak and a moody, obnoxious ass hole....she cheated and now is knocked up by some other guy. Im over her, totally indifferent...in fact i pity that sap she's with now.

Anyway, we split a year ago and i recently managed to get my life back on track, you know what i mean: i dropped the extra weight i gained while with her, grew my hair out a bit, bought new clothes, started to hit the gym etc and basically look like i did when i met her, better even.

I started a new job, made new friends, started seeing old friends again and all of a sudden life is good.

The crux of it all is this though and i mean this in no way as arrogant or big headed because im a humble guy but: I'm a good looking guy, i get told all the time, i get girls giving me the eye and checking me out all the time (since i sorted myself back out that is) which is great because i thought those days were gone, that age had taken it away but it wasnt age at all. I have a new confidence and glow and i want to take it to the next level!

However despite all these compliments and green lights from girls i struggle to close the deal, most of the women i've had in my life have done all the leg work, i hardly ever go after them unless they make it really easy for me and i want to change that.

I started clubbing again and im getting girls checking me out, good looking girls and im not doing anything about it, im getting green lights and im still stopped in neutral and im missing out on opportunities. So thats why im here to learn to be confident in all sitiuations and close these deals.

i find it hard in clubs though to talk to girls because the music is so loud, girls give me signals but i dont act on it all the time, girls come and dance near me, look at me then turn side on or back to me and dance and im not sure if thats a come on, an opportunity or just normal?

I get some that look at me alot, but then one did that and when i approached i got blown out, only for her to later on, on a different dance floor, start checking me out again

So i realise that theres much i need to learn to harness the benefits of decent looks and start really enjoying myself.

i hope you guys can help, cos if you do im sure to share my experiences and contribute.

In the mean time i have to ask, is there a glossary of terms here? I see abreviations all the time and dont know what they mean. I've picked up a fair few of them i think....dtf...down to fuck? but then im lost on ioi etc.

Anyway, i need to learn, i want to learn it all. I wasted enough years being a beta.

Thanks in advance and sorry for the long intro

[Wreckingball]

you suffer from approx anxiety and the subsequent fear of rejection.

Start talking to random people, ask random stuff, then step it up talking to girls.
You will find a shitload of great info on this subject here on the forum and in Roosh's books.

regarding the abbreviations, just do what i do and use google. do a search like "ioi pua"
pua means pick up artist, and most of these abbreveations are used by these type of people.

btw, to save you some time: IOI means "indicators of interest".

[Benja]

(08-03-2013 07:23 PM)Wreckingball Wrote:  

you suffer from approx anxiety and the subsequent fear of rejection.

Start talking to random people, ask random stuff, then step it up talking to girls.
You will find a shitload of great info on this subject here on the forum and in Roosh's books.

regarding the abbreviations, just do what i do and use google. do a search like "ioi pua"
pua means pick up artist, and most of these abbreveations are used by these type of people.

btw, to save you some time: IOI means "indicators of interest".

hey thanks for the reply. For the record, i dont struggle to talk to girls and flirt in normal, natural situations...like say work, but for some reason, in clubs...where its expected and somehow less natural it seems that bit more difficult.

Already been reading though and your right, theres a wealth of info on here, i;ve already learnt a lot in the last few days just reading....just need to put it into action, approach, approach, practice practice i guess.

[JoyStick]

just stop going to clubs. talk to girls in the daytime.

[tylerdurden1993]

good post Benja im in a similar situation to you when going out clubbing especially with trying to hear what people are saying , and only going for the approach when its obvious that their interested. I get approached more than I approach girls so that really needs to change.

[Traigala]

Good post, Benja. I've just completed my first 100 and what I've found is that it's easiest when you put yourself in situations where approaching comes naturally as result of the environment where a lot of women are -- like salsa dancing, etc. I'm in Costa Rica taking spanish classes and surfing, and my approaches skyrocketed once I came here. "Are you new here? How many weeks have you been here? Where are you from? When did you get here? When do you leave? What's your spanish level? Have you met anyone new here? You liking your classes so far here? Have you surfed yet? Get any good waves? Have you checked out ________ club yet?" These are all basic approach questions that I've used over and over with the students here. I haven't scored, but I do have all these chicks greeting me and females talking to me all day every day.

[Benja]

Hey Traigala, its those exact situations which i would rather be in, so much more natural and easy to be charming in those situations. Tylerdurden1993, lets see if we cant change things then mate, we have to make more apporaches and get into some day game as Joystick suggests.

[Jonathon]

I'm new to this whole thing as well but my best advice would be don't give a shit. Don't go out and act a fool by no means, but who gives a damn if you get rejected. Learn to love rejection abd let it roll off of you.

Keep going and just flirting with countless women, if you mess up go again after some other. You feel a lot better about yourself if you just do it rather than thinking about things.

And for the whole club scene, I just turned 20 and live in the middle of nowhere so cant give you any advice there.

Good luck bro and get it