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Where did I mess up here?
#1

Where did I mess up here?

So, I'm bored, depressed (I know when I am not, so its easy for me to make this self-diagnosis), and just wanted to put my member in the opposite sex. Does it matter that Julie is only a 4 and has fukked-up teeth? It should as I consider myself at least a low 7. But, furthermore, I just wanted to get my rocks off.

A week ago I met up with this Julie and we spent like less than 1.5 hours getting a drink at a decent restaurant she chose. We chatted, she laughed at my jokes, but at the end of the night we kinda just shook hands (it was so awkward as I'm used to hugging or kissing chicks on the cheek goodbye.). I guess there was a little kino (though I own Bang and Day Bang, I haven't read them yet, but I see this term thrown around alot and assume it means touching, no?) as I touched her hands and biceps (she's not muscular) while I told stories during the night.

Anyway, yesterday she hits me up saying that she had to cancel a trip that she had to make, so that we can hang out maybe. We text a little back and forth, and I tell her I'll contact her on Saturday. So, about an hour ago:

Me: I'm tired and will just stay home to eat dinner and watch a movie (I rented a spot off AirBNB)

Julie: No prob

Me: What will you do tonight?

Julie: No idea, I got up late and didn't step outside yet.

Me: I see, I would say come cook me some Taiwan food, but a.) You are prob too tired, and b.) I don't know if you know how to cook

Julie: Well...I'm, sorry. Actually I don't know how to cook. I'm terrible at cooking. Lol

Me: Don't be sorry, I will just wait another time for my Taiwan experience. I will eat pizza and watch a movie...Real Western experience...lol (I hate this acronym, but I think it allows things to remain, light, no?)
(Directly after I sent that message)

Me: If you are bored, feel free to come...or not...lol

Since that time its been nearly an hour with no reply.

*I'm not gonna hit her back up as she is quickly approaching 30, has limited command of the English language, and is a 4. And furthermore, I've since eaten a 1/2 a can of Sour Cream Pringles and am feeling sluggish.

I know I shouldn't have left her with an option in my last message sent, but I truly didn't care, and still don't. I didn't wanna be too direct as I didn't get that "Woah, Ima end up fucking this girl"-vibe when we first met a week ago.

Pros-I really don't care

Cons- -I did care for about the 20 minutes we were texting back and forth and may care again if she texts back tonight (feelining kinda sluggish though
-She doesn't really like drinking alcohol

Con/Pro- the place I'm staying at is kinda far from where she is, about 45 minutes via public transport, so she wouldn't really come here unless she had a good reason. Therefore, I'd have an easier chance of convincing her to spend the night.

What would have you done differently? Or given the circumstances would you not have even bothered since there was never a real connection there and just salvaged an hour of your life?
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#2

Where did I mess up here?

Here are the problems as I see it: you need to work on inner game. See a shrink and work through your depression(I am on wellbutrin among other things, have been for 15 years, it works. I will go ahead and underline or bold the problems I am reading here.


Quote: (08-03-2013 07:00 PM)Mr.GoodThread Wrote:  

So, I'm bored, depressed (I know when I am not, so its easy for me to make this self-diagnosis), and just wanted to put my member in the opposite sex. Does it matter that Julie is only a 4 and has fukked-up teeth? It should as I consider myself at least a low 7. But, furthermore, I just wanted to get my rocks off.

Of course it matters that the woman you are trying to fuck is low value. Does she even pass the boner test?


Quote:Quote:

A week ago I met up with this Julie and we spent like less than 1.5 hours getting a drink at a decent restaurant she chose. We chatted, she laughed at my jokes, but at the end of the night we kinda just shook hands


If you weren't interested in her, then this is fine. If you are into the girl, you should be trying to kiss her or switch venues. If you are not into her, you should just say "oh i just remembered I have to pick up my buddy from the airport". You don't owe her anything.


Quote:Quote:

(it was so awkward as I'm used to hugging or kissing chicks on the cheek goodbye.). I guess there was a little kino (though I own Bang and Day Bang, I haven't read them yet, but I see this term thrown around alot and assume it means touching, no?) as I touched her hands and biceps (she's not muscular) while I told stories during the night.

read bang and day bang.


Quote:Quote:

Anyway, yesterday she hits me up saying that she had to cancel a trip that she had to make, so that we can hang out maybe. We text a little back and forth, and I tell her I'll contact her on Saturday. So, about an hour ago:

Me: I'm tired and will just stay home to eat dinner and watch a movie (I rented a spot off AirBNB)

Julie: No prob

Me: What will you do tonight?

Julie: No idea, I got up late and didn't step outside yet.

Me: I see, I would say come cook me some Taiwan food, but a.) You are prob too tired, and b.) I don't know if you know how to cook

Julie: Well...I'm, sorry. Actually I don't know how to cook. I'm terrible at cooking. Lol

Me: Don't be sorry, I will just wait another time for my Taiwan experience. I will eat pizza and watch a movie...Real Western experience...lol (I hate this acronym, but I think it allows things to remain, light, no?)
(Directly after I sent that message)

Me: If you are bored, feel free to come...or not...lol

Since that time its been nearly an hour with no reply.


This is extremely weak text game. I should underline the whole thing. If she does not pass the boner test, you should not be even having this conversation and should just forget her entirely.


Quote:Quote:

*I'm not gonna hit her back up as she is quickly approaching 30, has limited command of the English language, and is a 4. And furthermore, I've since eaten a 1/2 a can of Sour Cream Pringles and am feeling sluggish.

I know I shouldn't have left her with an option in my last message sent, but I truly didn't care, and still don't. I didn't wanna be too direct as I didn't get that "Woah, Ima end up fucking this girl"-vibe when we first met a week ago.

Pros-I really don't care

Cons- -I did care for about the 20 minutes we were texting back and forth and may care again if she texts back tonight (feelining kinda sluggish though
-She doesn't really like drinking alcohol

Con/Pro- the place I'm staying at is kinda far from where she is, about 45 minutes via public transport, so she wouldn't really come here unless she had a good reason. Therefore, I'd have an easier chance of convincing her to spend the night.

What would have you done differently? Or given the circumstances would you not have even bothered since there was never a real connection there and just salvaged an hour of your life?

bad logistics and no attraction. I would not even be contacting this woman.

Right now step 1 should be working on your inner game. When you are depressed or feeling down is not a good time to be making approaches, the best time to make approaches is when you are already having a good day and doing good.

One other thing I can suggest, if you are depressed, quit eating processed food like pringles potato chips. If you quit eating fast food and processed food and only ead quality food for a month, you will have more energy, look better, and be less depressed.
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#3

Where did I mess up here?

I don't know if you exercise regularly, but it works wonders for depression. Several peer reviewed studies have shown it to be more effective than prozac IIRC. An hour or so a day is all you need.

If she passes the boner test it's all good. There comes a time in every man's life when he just needs to fuck a ugly bitch that does it for him in some weird way. These things usually end up with you looking for an escape route the moment you get your rocks off, and on some level she knows this. It's why it can sometimes be harder to game a ugly girls.

The texting was pretty cringe worthy. You were definitely not cnfident or forceful enough with your texts. For example:
Quote:Quote:

Me: I see, I would say come cook me some Taiwan food, but a.) You are prob too tired, and b.) I don't know if you know how to cook
This basically says, "I want you to come cook me some Taiwanese food, but I'm too scared to ask, so I'll just go ahead and say 'no' for you."

It would have been better just to text "Can you cook?" and take it from there. Truth be told, your first and only text should have been:

Quote:Quote:

Me: I'm tired and will just stay home to eat dinner and watch a movie. Want to join me?
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#4

Where did I mess up here?

your text game is boring and it reeks of low self esteem.

"Me: I'm tired and will just stay home to eat dinner and watch a movie"

this sounds boring. like my shawty cindy lauper says "girls just want to have fun".

"Me: I see, I would say come cook me some Taiwan food, but a.) You are prob too tired, and b.) I don't know if you know how to cook"

that a,b thing was counter productive. don't come up with reasons for her not to come over. your job is to convince her to come by, she could come up with her own excuses if she don't want to, don't help her.

"Me: If you are bored, feel free to come...or not...lol"

that or not part was unnecessary and instead of "if you are bored, feel free to come". next time try "you should come over" or simply "come over"

definitely work on your inner game and try not to be so wordy during texts. more words = more chance of fucking up.
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#5

Where did I mess up here?

You know what guys, You know what?

You guys are right. Its good to post this here so I, and others can learn from it.

Funniest thing was when I was sending these texts I actually thought we were having a good back and forth. No joking, yea, its a little wordy, and that does give them more chances to find a red flag, but I'm not even a fan of texting (I kinda got a serious gf that is living overseas, and I'm always paranoid that all of these messages to random phones will eventually come to the light, and leave me looking hella scumbag-ish.

I know girls like the "fun guy", but I seriously didn't want to go out to a party/festival/bar etc. with this chick because the depression thing would've made it a waste of time and money as I wouldn't have been capitalizing on the event. still, I wanted to break the dry spell.

I didn't really push it with this girl because it was just like, fukk, if we do something that's cool, if not, whatever... I think that is very evident in my side of the exchange. Sure, I would've preferred not expelling the effort and being left hanging, but it happens, because she wasn't feeling my vibe enough.

I did the whole "Can you even cook thing?" Cause I was waiting for her to WANT to come over to prove herself. I didn't expect her to admit she's wack in the kitchen.

Did she pass the boner test? Yea, I haven't been with another female life-form in a while, so I could've got it up for her after 2.5 drinks and the right lighting. Her being thin, helped out alot. Plus, Asians are my fave, so I coulda made it work.

Main thing I take away from this is that I need to work on inner game. I will not mess with any anti-depressants anytime soon though, as I know what changes I have to start to make to get confident again.
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