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Blew it with a girl I already had sex with
#1

Blew it with a girl I already had sex with

The girl in question was the subject of my first same-night smash, and is also the best looking girl I've ever been with (8.5). She lives outside the US but visits on breaks from school. Since the smash we've talked maybe every other week - No reason to keep in contact if she's so far away. A couple weeks ago she told me she wanted to visit my city, and wanted to come watch a certain movie with me while drinking a certain kind of beer - This is the exact same thing we did after I brought her home to fuck.

So she got to my city today and we met at a bar along with my best friend and his girlfriend. She was being really friendly and we were able to get close and dance. My friend and his gf left after about 30 minutes and she stuck around with me. We got pretty close but after about an hour or so she complained that she was tired and wanted to leave (She came out after an almost 10 hour trip). I told her my place was closer than where she was staying, but she said she had her friend's house keys and had to go back to return them. A legit excuse, sure, but I couldn't help but feel it was sort of bullshit (If my game was strong enough I'm sure I could've convinced her to come back and worry about the keys later).

I decided to stay at the bar, but we went outside for a smoke before she left. She told me her exact plans for tomorrow and said she'd be out close to where I live. She said to text her when I was done with work and hang out with her and the friend she's staying with. The thing is I'm super lazy and don't want to go out and spend time with her and not seal the deal. So my question is, should I even bother? If I do text her, what angle should I push to seal the deal? Should I outright try and get her over my place? Or should I wait for her to text me?
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#2

Blew it with a girl I already had sex with

Can you catch a fish without casting your line?

Laziness = boyhood. Productivity = manhood.

Choose wisely.
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#3

Blew it with a girl I already had sex with

Quote: (07-29-2013 03:33 AM)McQueensPlayboyRules Wrote:  

Can you catch a fish without casting your line?

Laziness = boyhood. Productivity = manhood.

Choose wisely.

Very true. I know that persistence is better than nothing, but I also know that too much persistence can be a turn off. I usually work with indirect game, but I guarantee that's more hit-or-miss than direct game. I'm still trying to find my happy medium.
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#4

Blew it with a girl I already had sex with

Quote: (07-29-2013 03:31 AM)Lex S. Wrote:  

The thing is I'm super lazy and don't want to go out and spend time with her and not seal the deal. So my question is, should I even bother?

The question to ask yourself is: Is this statement an ego preserving rationalisation because you don't want to face the possibility of rejection?

I'd say that by asking here you're effectively asking permission to try with the excuse that it was someone else's idea. You've already shagged her, you know what you're doing, back yourself and go after what you want. Uncalibrated persistence may be a loser trait, but going for what you want and doing what you want to do isn't.

Back yourself, player.
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#5

Blew it with a girl I already had sex with

Just go for it man, i'm pretty certain you're going to regret it later on if you don't do it, plus, you def have nothing to lose(except for a blow to the ego if she rejects you). Indirect game has it's place and it's strong suits, and it's good that you're trying to convey an aloof image, but i'm afraid that you're overgaming. Text her to hang out, and calibrate from there with the bang in mind. I think she's down for it, it's up to you to make it happen. Good luck.
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#6

Blew it with a girl I already had sex with

Quote: (07-29-2013 05:45 AM)Don Wrote:  

Just go for it man, i'm pretty certain you're going to regret it later on if you don't do it, plus, you def have nothing to lose(except for a blow to the ego if she rejects you). Indirect game has it's place and it's strong suits, and it's good that you're trying to convey an aloof image, but i'm afraid that you're overgaming. Text her to hang out, and calibrate from there with the bang in mind. I think she's down for it, it's up to you to make it happen. Good luck.

Yeah, why the hell not, I'll text her later on today to get the ball rolling. I'll play it by ear to see how to approach things - If she's out and it sounds like a good time then I'll go there, but if it's boring I'll push the Netflix and beer. I figure I can also throw in some negs about her being too tired to stay out last night (Disqualify her by saying I don't hang out with girls who aren't well-rested), or about her ride to the place she's staying if she had any problems (Once again pushing the fact that my place was closer and easier to get to).
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#7

Blew it with a girl I already had sex with

Think of it like this - you have the chance to be seen tonight at all of your regular places with an 8.5

Women aren't logical but they are intuitive. They will know you have already hit that, both you and your friend will be giving off that vibe.

It will do nothing but raise your value around your stomping grounds to be seen with her. Even if you don't hook up, this is a great opportunity for a real-life DHV (not some bullshit story you are spinning).

By itself that should make you get out there and party it up, your value is zero at home with Netflix.
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#8

Blew it with a girl I already had sex with

Quote: (07-29-2013 11:35 AM)Nolecbo Wrote:  

Think of it like this - you have the chance to be seen tonight at all of your regular places with an 8.5

Women aren't logical but they are intuitive. They will know you have already hit that, both you and your friend will be giving off that vibe.

It will do nothing but raise your value around your stomping grounds to be seen with her. Even if you don't hook up, this is a great opportunity for a real-life DHV (not some bullshit story you are spinning).

By itself that should make you get out there and party it up, your value is zero at home with Netflix.

That's so true, I didn't think of that. And even though the girl and I weren't overtly hooking up we would always stand/sit very close and I did a lot of kino, so it could give off the appearance that she's my girl. Before she left we were outside standing next to a cute girl having a smoke. I went inside after we parted ways to get a glass of water before leaving. No one was standing at the bar and no staff were near me, but the cute girl walked in and stood right next to me.

Preselection is a powerful thing. When I go out with girls I try this experiment - I sit with them in either an empty area or in a common sitting area like a bench. Sure enough, a bunch of girls will sit near us. Now if I sat in the same places with a guy friend the girls wouldn't come over. Girls feel comfortable around other girls, as well as guys with a girl because they've been preselected to be high value. I guarantee that if the cute girl at standing next to me at the bar last night hadn't seen me with the 8.5 she wouldn't have felt comfortable near me and would've gotten her drink at the other end of the bar (In hindsight I should've chatted her up).
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#9

Blew it with a girl I already had sex with

Any more advice before I talk to her?
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#10

Blew it with a girl I already had sex with

Just finished texting her about last night and seeing each other tomorrow. How'd I do?

Me: So did you make it back in one piece last night?
Her: Omg not even!! I fell asleep on the subway and woke up in Queens!
Me: See, I told you it was a bad idea to go to your friend's house.
Her: Haha it worked out. I ended up taking a cab back and got stoned with the driver (The fuck?).
Me: I don't even.....You catch up on your sleep?
Her: Mmmmm, not really.
Me: Too bad, I was looking for a well-rested girl to get drinks with tomorrow. Know any?
Her: I'll probably sleep better tonight, text me tomorrow.

And I left it at that. I'm thinking of pushing the idea of debauchery tomorrow when we plan out what's going on.
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#11

Blew it with a girl I already had sex with

Her: Haha it worked out. I ended up taking a cab back and got stoned with the driver (The fuck?).
You: And you didn't call me? We could have compared my stuff to his shit
Her: I didn't know you smoked
You: I only buy the premium, you have to be invited.


1) Don't be her guardian
2) Be having more fun wherever you are than wherever she is
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#12

Blew it with a girl I already had sex with

Quote: (07-30-2013 01:45 PM)Nolecbo Wrote:  

Her: Haha it worked out. I ended up taking a cab back and got stoned with the driver (The fuck?).
You: And you didn't call me? We could have compared my stuff to his shit
Her: I didn't know you smoked
You: I only buy the premium, you have to be invited.


1) Don't be her guardian
2) Be having more fun wherever you are than wherever she is

Awesome, noted. I'm gonna get in touch with her in a bit and really push the beer and movie concept. If worse comes to worse we can always meet at a bar and I'll escalate it to try and get her back to my place. It's been months since I last saw her in person, so I probably have to work on re-kindling comfort and rapport.
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#13

Blew it with a girl I already had sex with

If this girl is going sleepless and sleeping on subways and getting stoned with strangers, 'comfort' doesn't seem high on her list.

An awesome party you were *already* going to would be better bait. Or a restaurant opening.
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#14

Blew it with a girl I already had sex with

I sent her another text earlier this evening and so far no response. I'm calling a next on this one. She's a 20-something girl with a smartphone, meaning she's glued to the thing. If it takes her longer than 30 minutes to respond to a text she's either playing stupid games or just not interested. Ball's in her court now.
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