[Excelsior]

I have no patience for flaking.

I tolerate it under only one circumstance: if she contacts me in a timely manner (read: not two/three days after the fact, but preferably well before the date at hand) and proposes an alternative meet. If I see an earnest attempt on her part to reschedule, I'll engage her.

Anything less is unacceptable. This includes:

-Simply not showing up and saying nothing.
-Not showing up and saying nothing until well after the fact.
-Giving a lame excuse without suggesting an alternative date.

If I get anything less than timely contact and a suggestion for an alternative meet-up, I will assume that it is over and cut off all contact with her until she actively re-initiates and suggests something. She will receive absolutely nothing from me beyond this point without her own initiation. If she doesn't re-initiate, then she's gone-no issues. I'll go see another girl or I'll go without-I have no problem with either outcome. Being alone is a preferable outcome to dealing with a flake in my view. If I don't have another girl(s) on call at the time, then I am perfectly OK on my own.

I do not see it as a "challenge" to be overcome, nor will I rationalize it away as a test she can't help but give or some vague sign of her deep subconscious attraction to me(upping her "desire to test me more"). I see it for what it is: rude. I don't tolerate that type of treatment from anybody I know, and I hold every woman I meet to the same standard. I have no interest in being with a girl who cannot meet it.

[iknowexactly]

(09-04-2011 06:23 AM)Athlone McGinnis Wrote:  

Being alone is a preferable outcome to dealing with a flake in my view.

Good point, I agree, continuing to pander to a flake messes with my self-respect, got to use the cure all: "Next...."

At least a new chick hasn't proven herself a flake yet.

ABANETTS-Always be aproaching never take targets seriously

[CupCake]

I agree with Athlone 100%.

"I know you were rude to me, but can I still fuck you?"

Come on, guys. How does that really sound?

[azulsombra]

(09-04-2011 03:48 AM)wolf Wrote:  

Try dating four women at the same time. Your attention is going to be so spread out that you will actually be happy that one didn't show up and you can have the night to do your own stuff.

The reason flaking hurts so much is because most guys are chasing one chick at a time and investing all of their energy into her.

Once you get into the habit of amassing a bunch of phone numbers you really won't care if one number falls off. With this experience you'll be numb to flaking in no time.

This thread is super old, but this is the same approach I take. I still get flaked on occasionally, but its not going to make or break me due to having a pretty solid team established already.

[rockdaspot]

(09-12-2011 07:22 PM)CupCake Wrote:  

I agree with Athlone 100%.

"I know you were rude to me, but can I still fuck you?"

Come on, guys. How does that really sound?

I disagree.

Flakes happen sometimes. If you react to it by having no contact then;

a) it appears like it was a big deal
b) you have 0% chance of sleeping with her

If you act like it's not a big deal (it's not) then you have a decent chance of getting her out on a date some other time and banging her. This is the option I take.

My mindset is;

"ok, I'll let you off this time. But I'm still going to fuck you cause I want to"

[Moma]

(09-13-2011 03:40 PM)rockdaspot Wrote:  

(09-12-2011 07:22 PM)CupCake Wrote:  

I agree with Athlone 100%.

"I know you were rude to me, but can I still fuck you?"

Come on, guys. How does that really sound?

I disagree.

Flakes happen sometimes. If you react to it by having no contact then;

a) it appears like it was a big deal
b) you have 0% chance of sleeping with her

If you act like it's not a big deal (it's not) then you have a decent chance of getting her out on a date some other time and banging her. This is the option I take. It's more;

"ok, I'll let you off this time. But I'm still going to fuck you cause I want to"

This is the best approach. If we ignore every snub we get, there's going to be a lot of wanking muthafcukas around town, piledrive through like the shyt doesn't exist, it's your world not hers.
Her flaking should barely register.

[PDX]

I'll usually follow-up a flake with one re-start text/call, but that's about it. Any more than that, and I'm quickly entering the orbiter/validater zone. And if this girl is hot, she's got a whole crew of these. Sorry, not playing that game. Next.

[wolf]

(09-13-2011 03:40 PM)rockdaspot Wrote:  

(09-12-2011 07:22 PM)CupCake Wrote:  

I agree with Athlone 100%.

"I know you were rude to me, but can I still fuck you?"

Come on, guys. How does that really sound?

I disagree.

Flakes happen sometimes. If you react to it by having no contact then;

a) it appears like it was a big deal
b) you have 0% chance of sleeping with her

If you act like it's not a big deal (it's not) then you have a decent chance of getting her out on a date some other time and banging her. This is the option I take.

My mindset is;

"ok, I'll let you off this time. But I'm still going to fuck you cause I want to"

I agree with this. I have gone out with girls that turned me down. One chick I went out 1 week later and another chick I went out a year later. I was actually surprised myself. Calling again is not going to kill you.

[Excelsior]

(09-13-2011 03:40 PM)rockdaspot Wrote:  

I disagree.

Flakes happen sometimes. If you react to it by having no contact then;

a) it appears like it was a big deal

No bigger a deal than it would be with anybody else I know.

She is getting the exact same treatment that any other human being in my life would receive. This doesn't even take any energy on my part. Not a big deal at all.

The big deal would more likely consist of me altering my particular standards of personal conduct (which I maintain for those in my personal circle) specifically for her simply because she has a vagina.

Quote:

b) you have 0% chance of sleeping with her

1. If she is interested, she can get back in touch with you. This has happened to me often and is far from a rare outcome. If she really liked you to begin with, she will usually reconnect. 0% is a vast over-exaggeration.

2. If I do not sleep with her, then that is fine too. Going without sex is not the end of the world(at least, not for me).

Quote:

If you act like it's not a big deal (it's not) then you have a decent chance of getting her out on a date some other time and banging her.

Yes, let's ignore her attitude and reward her rudeness with a date because she has a vagina and we want to get to it.

And you guys wonder why flaking has become an epidemic?

Quote:

This is the option I take.

My mindset is;

"ok, I'll let you off this time. But I'm still going to fuck you cause I want to"

If you insist on letting them off (read: tolerating less-than-polite behavior you otherwise wouldn't, all for the sake of pussy), then do not complain when more and more women begin to flake on you and other guys. If you reward the behavior (because you just can't get over the lure of her vagina and hold her accountable like you would anyone else), it will continue.

If you accept this as the price of doing business then that is OK, but no man who does so should never complain about flaking.

This here...

Quote:

I'll usually follow-up a flake with one re-start text/call, but that's about it. Any more than that, and I'm quickly entering the orbiter/validater zone. And if this girl is hot, she's got a whole crew of these. Sorry, not playing that game. Next.

...is in my opinion the absolute maximum any guy should go for a flake. Even then, the ROI is less than ideal.

[Moma]

(09-17-2011 01:02 AM)Athlone McGinnis Wrote:  

(09-13-2011 03:40 PM)rockdaspot Wrote:  

I disagree.

Flakes happen sometimes. If you react to it by having no contact then;

a) it appears like it was a big deal

No bigger a deal than it would be with anybody else I know.

She is getting the exact same treatment that any other human being in my life would receive. This doesn't even take any energy on my part. Not a big deal at all.

The big deal would more likely consist of me altering my particular standards of personal conduct (which I maintain for those in my personal circle) specifically for her simply because she has a vagina.

Quote:

b) you have 0% chance of sleeping with her

1. If she is interested, she can get back in touch with you. This has happened to me often and is far from a rare outcome. If she really liked you to begin with, she will usually reconnect. 0% is a vast over-exaggeration.

2. If I do not sleep with her, then that is fine too. Going without sex is not the end of the world(at least, not for me).

Quote:

If you act like it's not a big deal (it's not) then you have a decent chance of getting her out on a date some other time and banging her.

Yes, let's ignore her attitude and reward her rudeness with a date because she has a vagina and we want to get to it.

And you guys wonder why flaking has become an epidemic?

Quote:

This is the option I take.

My mindset is;

"ok, I'll let you off this time. But I'm still going to fuck you cause I want to"

If you insist on letting them off (read: tolerating less-than-polite behavior you otherwise wouldn't, all for the sake of pussy), then do not complain when more and more women begin to flake on you and other guys. If you reward the behavior (because you just can't get over the lure of her vagina and hold her accountable like you would anyone else), it will continue.

If you accept this as the price of doing business then that is OK, but no man who does so should never complain about flaking.

This here...

Quote:

I'll usually follow-up a flake with one re-start text/call, but that's about it. Any more than that, and I'm quickly entering the orbiter/validater zone. And if this girl is hot, she's got a whole crew of these. Sorry, not playing that game. Next.

...is in my opinion the absolute maximum any guy should go for a flake. Even then, the ROI is less than ideal.

Theoretically, that's fine. Unless you have a low sex drive, then the ROI is not less than ideal. When you want to fcuk, ROI is sky high if you can get some quality tail.

Now, I agree that there is a danger with the orbiter/validater zone. However, it all depends on the environment. It's all about supply and demand.
Let me give you a non lizard example.

When I moved here from the UK (here = Toronto, Canada), I needed a cell phone.
I expected the variety to be similar to the UK with competitive and reasonable prices.
I was taken aback at the lack of choices. It was Bell, Rogers, Telus or go Fcuk yourself.

I could have been like, fcuk your prices, the ROI is low but the fact is: I needed a cellphone.

To revert back to these lizards, we need sex. Let's stop fooling ourselves.
So to make it as simple as, oh, if she flakes, I cut her off..the only way we as men can do that is if we have an abundance of very attractive women that we can close.

If we do not, then we cannot realistically just cut them off like this.

Yes, morally, Athlone you make perfect sense but there are thousands of betas and semi betas here that will sit around and pander to her flaking (to some degree) until she yields for the fcuk.

You cutting her off, means nothing if there are hordes of chodes to take her place.

It's like this:
You graduate school and pass your bar exam and become a lawyer in a city where there are a dearth of lawyers.

Many companies need a lawyer and they are ringing your phone off the hook. You are playing with the market. The companies need a lawyer and you are a good one (an equivalent of a lizard 8). You are flaking them (no return calls, ignoring emails).
Does the company invoke ego and say "Fcuk him, I won't give him time of the day?"
That will not make that need for a lawyer go away.
They have to do the best (logically) to get that lawyer. ROI is too high for that.

I used to turf lizards left right and centre when I came here. I didn't have time for flakes (my flex from London was straight militant). However, after nursing blue balls for a while and seeking advice from proven hitmen, I had to switch up my flow.

[slubu]

There is some damn valuable information in this thread. Ironically, I spent a few hours reading about girls flaking, because a girl did a light flake to me this morning, changing plans twice over the course of a day (kept pushing it back), and during the time it took me to go through these threads, Roissy's blog posts, etc., I didn't respond and she just responded back offering the original day again.

No response, though not planned this time, is now my method of choice.

[wolf]

Since this thread got bumped up anyway I will underline one the best pieces of advice here.

(09-20-2010 07:08 PM)Nonpareil Wrote:  

Pretty much as has been said; if she offers to reschedule she usually has a good reason for flaking and feels bad, so I'll take her up on her reschedule.

If she just up and flakes for no reason and doesn't hit me back, I may decide to hit her up randomly like 6 months later, but she gets put so far on the backburner that she can't even see the oven. I have had girls flake then vanish, and then almost a year later on random reconnect agree to get a drink and not flake me.

What can I say about it? I'm never happy when it happens, but 98% of the time this is not communicated, we all slip up from time to time, getting mad just makes her realize that you weren't worth the time, being nonchalant makes her question her own worth* and want to see you more.

* - She thinks its too high anyways.