I've gone on about 8-9 dates this month and only banged 2 girls. We get drinks, leave bar, do some kissing, I suggest we go to her place (cant come to mine) and thats where my success starts to fail. Any ideas on how I can make the transition to her place much easier?
Low bang rate on first dates. Help?
That's not a bad result.
In fact, you should be giving advice, not asking for it.
In fact, you should be giving advice, not asking for it.
Quote: (07-25-2013 05:57 AM)TrueSlyr Wrote:
I've gone on about 8-9 dates this month and only banged 2 girls. We get drinks, leave bar, do some kissing, I suggest we go to her place (cant come to mine) and thats where my success starts to fail. Any ideas on how I can make the transition to her place much easier?
Set up better logistics so you can take them back to your place.
Aside from that, second or third date bangs aren't bad either.
By the way, it would be helpful if you gave more details on how this transition is falling apart exactly.
Beyond All Seas
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
2nd and 3rd date bangs are much easier and tend to be the norm. Shoot for that and work your way up. Seems like youre putting way too much pressure on yourself. If your willing to go on 8-9 new dates a month, it seems like you would be willing to go on a few 2nd and 3rd dates no problem.
Quote: (07-25-2013 05:57 AM)TrueSlyr Wrote:
I've gone on about 8-9 dates this month and only banged 2 girls.
This is very successful (extrapolating to 24 per year), exceeding PUA gurus in some of their years (Roosh, Mystery, Krauser, Janka). Given that you lack a place, complaining about this level of success is borderline trollish! If your success rate were higher, then you should raise quality. Or if you don't have time for such dating, then you should just get a girlfriend or harem/rotation.
This seems like a roughly standard eventual conversion rate, at least for online. Half the time they don't like you; half the time you don't like them. Many women consider the first online date to be a "meeting", not a date. Some hot women won't have sex on the first date. Others may have had company, a messy apartment, had their period, or other reasons. I know some members like Soup have a "one and done" rule. But he has a slutty fishbowl in a densely populated urban area where he can easily arrange meetings at a bar by his home. So you should consider a "third date rule" with some women.
Conversion rates depend on demographics and style. Older women have better defenses and are not stupid enough to get drunk and seduced. But they also have no qualms about sex when they are ready. If you meet women on adult sites and sexualize the conversation then you expect higher conversion rates than meeting them on religious sites and doing less pre-date work.
A more focused question is: "How should we manage conversion rates, and what should we do if a woman keeps dating without sex?" You should be efficient and "triage" your social life. Presumably if a woman keeps dating you then she is interested. But there are occasional dinner whores, bored chicks, and emotional vampires who will waste your time. Some women have boyfriends. The only thing worse than dating a woman who is shopping for an upgrade is dating without sex while she shops for an upgrade. At some point you want to polarize a woman, and get success or rejection. Accelerating rejection is far better than wasting time.
It is just that Im failing to get back to their place. Ive heard excuses from roommates, long subway ride, tired, messy, etc. I cant bring them to where I stay so its their place or nothing. Thats where my failure comes in. So its just a logistical failure, but I assume that does reflect upon my game as well.
Quote: (07-25-2013 08:18 AM)TrueSlyr Wrote:
It is just that Im failing to get back to their place. Ive heard excuses from roommates, long subway ride, tired, messy, etc. I cant bring them to where I stay so its their place or nothing. Thats where my failure comes in. So its just a logistical failure, but I assume that does reflect upon my game as well.
This is probably the limiting factor ultimately. I suspect that your success rates aren't going to dramatically improve until you get a place you can bring girls back to. That said, read the Tuthmosis first-date bang recipe I linked above and try implementing some of his ideas - there's a lot of good stuff there that increased my bang rate from maybe 25-30% to over 50%, basically overnight. Lastly, you could try meeting up at a bar that's close to her place to mitigate your logistical problem, although that presents its own set of challenges since it prevents you from having a go-to spot that you have on lock-down or you know has a favorable setup.
Logistics is an often overlooked part of game. Taking her to a place without the plans laid up to go to a private place is a recipe for no fuck because, in all honesty, you expect to bang in an alley of a plaza or in a dressing room the first time? That's not going to happen. Even a bang in a car is a dubious proposition for the first dates. Thats what motels and apartments are.
Yea, thats why I try to go to their place. I just need to get better at that..
Your success will skyrocket with better logistics. You have to accept a worse conversion rate when your logistics aren't solid.
I've been in your position with poor logistics.
When going to theirs doesn't work let them make their excuses. And then push to organize the next date at their place. Make plans to cook together or try this new cocktail you've just learned or whatever. You should be throwing out those seeds during first date as a backup plan before you ask to go to her place. Then bring food or drinks to hers next time and go from there.
Girls know your intent if you play it right, especially if you push to go back to theirs so the expectation is set for next time.
I've been in your position with poor logistics.
When going to theirs doesn't work let them make their excuses. And then push to organize the next date at their place. Make plans to cook together or try this new cocktail you've just learned or whatever. You should be throwing out those seeds during first date as a backup plan before you ask to go to her place. Then bring food or drinks to hers next time and go from there.
Girls know your intent if you play it right, especially if you push to go back to theirs so the expectation is set for next time.
"A flower can not remain in bloom for years, but a garden can be cultivated to bloom throughout seasons and years." - xsplat
Logistics is so key. My old neighborhood there were at least 12+ bars within a block of my house. Irish bars, live music, lounges, sports bars, AH-bars. I could get, literally, any girl to my apt because it was ~50 yds away. I'm not saying you can bang all of them - hell, they can turn right around and go back to their friends - but it makes things a hell of a lot easier.
No offense but TrueSlyr might be trolling. He bangs around 25% of his first dates (we all know that these usually end with just a kiss for vast majority of the guys including myself), does not even have his own place and still complains!? Either he is the next Mystery and Michael DeAngelo or he is exaggerating the truth.
I'd be very disappointed with myself if I only banged 25% on first dates.
You're probably a master pua then and you have good logistics, your own place.
What happened to rest of the girls? Did they just disappear because you told her 'let's go to your house' (meaning let's fuck like a dog) and it made them uncomfortable?
you try to take her home and she politely rejects it but if she is down for 2nd date, it's matter of time for banging her.
you try to take her home and she politely rejects it but if she is down for 2nd date, it's matter of time for banging her.
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