Been seeing this girl for a while and yesterday when I tried to fuck her I simply could not maintain a good erection for longer than a minute or two. I simply lose concentration and think of random BS instead of focusing on the girl. She slept over and we tried again in the AM but the same shit happened. She literally told me: "I want you to fuck me. I am coming on top of you and I want you to get hard." I can't maintain an erection either by myself without porn. Decided to quit watching porn a few weeks ago but it's not helping.
She begged me to fuck her but I could not get it up
touch your dick only to take a piss or to scratch it when it itches.
Go long enough without porn and you should find a fix to your problem.
Limit the fap to once a week.
Get your diet in check (look up testosterone threads).
If you are walking in public and you have a desire to ravish any hot girl that walks by, it's working.
Limit the fap to once a week.
Get your diet in check (look up testosterone threads).
If you are walking in public and you have a desire to ravish any hot girl that walks by, it's working.
Your problem does seem very clearly defined: porn.
I recommend pushing yourself to drop porn (install a filter and throw away the password if you have to) and going at least 2 weeks without fapping, then not doing it more than once every 5-7 days. You need to make it to a wet dream at least. It is best to go without fapping for a month or two as well, particularly if you masturbate while fantasizing (that's called "self-made porn").
It worked for me.
I recommend pushing yourself to drop porn (install a filter and throw away the password if you have to) and going at least 2 weeks without fapping, then not doing it more than once every 5-7 days. You need to make it to a wet dream at least. It is best to go without fapping for a month or two as well, particularly if you masturbate while fantasizing (that's called "self-made porn").
It worked for me.
"Imagine" by HCE | Hitler reacts to Battle of Montreal | An alternative use for squid that has never crossed your mind before
When I first started nofap/porn I was horny as hell in the first 2-5 days but then I felt my libido drop.
I'm on the way of getting over this problem myself. I stopped porn 2 months ago. I'm doing better now. I expect complete healing somewhere between 3 to 5 months in, based on accounts of others.
Fuck internet porn. I'm not going to watch it ever again in my life.
Fuck internet porn. I'm not going to watch it ever again in my life.
Head over to the "What do you guys consider a 10?" thread and see what Athlone McGinnis has posted today.
The libido drop is completely normal. You should try to avoid porn/masturbation/orgasm for at least 90 days and then reassess. Masturbating may reset your progress! It sucks but it is well worth it at the end. Lots of guys, including myself, have noticed much more attention from girls the longer you can abstain as well as improvements in the gym, better motivation and focus and a host of other benefits.
For example:
http://yourbrainonporn.com/age-23-metamo...ick-magnet
You have a difficult road ahead of you but your life will be so much better at the end! Good luck!
For example:
http://yourbrainonporn.com/age-23-metamo...ick-magnet
You have a difficult road ahead of you but your life will be so much better at the end! Good luck!
V, Cialis, Levitra. Take your pick.
Fuck her like if you would be in a porn movie.
Here's a good post: http://kennyspuathoughts.com/2013/07/22/...breakdown/
I only go bareback on girls these days. Condoms are no use for me. I've actually found that since I've been taking ZMA too my boners are stronger and more frequent. The last girl I had sex with, I blasted on her stomach, went to the bathroom to get some tissue to clean her up and cleaned myself up. 5 minutes later I was as hard as I was if I went 3 weeks without wanking and we had sex again. She fucking loved it, and I actually came more the second time.
I only go bareback on girls these days. Condoms are no use for me. I've actually found that since I've been taking ZMA too my boners are stronger and more frequent. The last girl I had sex with, I blasted on her stomach, went to the bathroom to get some tissue to clean her up and cleaned myself up. 5 minutes later I was as hard as I was if I went 3 weeks without wanking and we had sex again. She fucking loved it, and I actually came more the second time.
A good chance it's mental. I've had this issue before too. A few of my own observations:
Some women just don't turn me on even if logic says they should. I think there's a lot to be said for chemistry. I've slept with hot women and wondered what was going on with my dick and then hooked up with some random butterface I happened to really click with and found myself rock hard and screwing for hours. There's a lot going on at the hormonal level when it comes to attraction and some people are a better "fit" than others.
On top of that, call me a "beta" if you want, but I personally find women who beg to be fucked a bit of a turn-off. I guess I'm old-fashioned but it just doesn't fit my expectation of how a woman should act.
Not to mention it creates a certain level of performance anxiety - you're essentially being demanded to perform. Just doesn't work for me that way.
If she really wants you to get hard but it's not working, have her suck your dick. This will usually cure any stage fright you're having. After you bang her a couple times the problem will likely disappear.
The last bit you said about not being able to maintain an erection when by yourself though says to me that a) you're mentally fucking with yourself over this or b) you've had a drop in sex drive and need to up your T levels. Getting in shape is often all it takes to correct the latter. The former, well, you'll just have to work your way through it alone through a bit of trial and hopefully not too much error.
I say ignore the pill reccomendations, especially if you're still young. You don't want to develop a dependency and should have other means available. They say the penis is the dipstick of health. If it's not just mental, I personally think the number one solution is getting in shape and, if that fails, maybe seeing a doctor to see if there's some underlying health concern.
Ah, and yes, condums can be a sabotager for sure.
Some women just don't turn me on even if logic says they should. I think there's a lot to be said for chemistry. I've slept with hot women and wondered what was going on with my dick and then hooked up with some random butterface I happened to really click with and found myself rock hard and screwing for hours. There's a lot going on at the hormonal level when it comes to attraction and some people are a better "fit" than others.
On top of that, call me a "beta" if you want, but I personally find women who beg to be fucked a bit of a turn-off. I guess I'm old-fashioned but it just doesn't fit my expectation of how a woman should act.
Not to mention it creates a certain level of performance anxiety - you're essentially being demanded to perform. Just doesn't work for me that way.
If she really wants you to get hard but it's not working, have her suck your dick. This will usually cure any stage fright you're having. After you bang her a couple times the problem will likely disappear.
The last bit you said about not being able to maintain an erection when by yourself though says to me that a) you're mentally fucking with yourself over this or b) you've had a drop in sex drive and need to up your T levels. Getting in shape is often all it takes to correct the latter. The former, well, you'll just have to work your way through it alone through a bit of trial and hopefully not too much error.
I say ignore the pill reccomendations, especially if you're still young. You don't want to develop a dependency and should have other means available. They say the penis is the dipstick of health. If it's not just mental, I personally think the number one solution is getting in shape and, if that fails, maybe seeing a doctor to see if there's some underlying health concern.
Ah, and yes, condums can be a sabotager for sure.
Beyond All Seas
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
Quote: (07-23-2013 09:18 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:
Not to mention it creates a certain level of performance anxiety - you're essentially being demanded to perform. Just doesn't work for me that way.
^ This
Sounds like you're having performance anxiety. I doubt it's the porn (though watching less porn should help a lot). This happened to me a couple months ago- I had a girl over my place ready to fuck, and for some reason I couldn't get hard. The next day I went out and met this random girl, had her back at my place... couldn't get it up again. I had some weird mental shit going on.. it was a mix of stress, and useless mental thought loops. With the second girl I mentioned, it was almost a self fulfilling prophecy that I couldn't get it up, because I kept thinking about the previous night and how the same thing happened. I chilled out for few days, stopped thinking about my flaccid dick issues, and next time I had a girl over I was able to fuck her just fine.
Having a viagra on hand is definitely beneficial. Just the fact that you have it available means that you probably won't even need it... because remember, what you're facing is mental... take the viagra if you need it. After you take it once and have no problems getting hard, you probably won't need it again
Quote:Quote:
I only go bareback on girls these days. Condoms are no use for me.
I went bareback as well. It would be even worse with a condom. I'll look into ZMA.
Quote:Quote:
On top of that, call me a "beta" if you want, but I personally find women who beg to be fucked a bit of a turn-off. I guess I'm old-fashioned but it just doesn't fit my expectation of how a woman should act.
Not to mention it creates a certain level of performance anxiety - you're essentially being demanded to perform. Just doesn't work for me that way.
If she really wants you to get hard but it's not working, have her suck your dick. This will usually cure any stage fright you're having. After you bang her a couple times the problem will likely disappear.
Good point and good post overall. I told her to suck my dick but she said: "Stop asking me that, you can't even get it up." This put me off even more and I swear I could hit her in the face when she said that. I performed even worse after.
Quote: (07-23-2013 10:37 AM)Every10GivesMeA10 Wrote:
I told her to suck my dick but she said: "Stop asking me that, you can't even get it up." This put me off even more and I swear I could hit her in the face when she said that. I performed even worse after.
Sounds like an awkward situation that she made even worse with her cold comments. Any woman not intuitive enough to realize the worst thing she can do for a guy's performance is give him shit about not getting it up isn't worth the time, the energy, or the nut. Women should nurture you - not belittle you in one of your most humiliating moments.
And this is something that happens to EVERY guy at some point or another, so it's not like she shouldn't be expected to hold herself with poise.
Think of it this way: is a woman who makes you want to hit her in the face when trying to have sex really someone you ought to spend intimate time with? I say no.
To give her the benefit of the doubt, she may have acted that way because some women actually feel like it's a threat to their sexuality if they can't make a man hard. But whatever her motives, women like this are poisonous and unhealthy for you; trying and possibly failing again will only make you insecure about yourself when she is clearly part of the problem. Next her.
If it doesn't happen with the next girl, let it go.
Beyond All Seas
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
Not try purely physical stimulation? With enough whiskey in me I usually have to get the girl to take me in her mouth until I'm ready to go. Admittedly it's purely physical rather than the crazy mental desire to pull the chicka inside out. I know the girl gave you shit about it when you asked, I think grabbing her hair and saying 'take me in your mouth' or 'tell me how much you want to suck me' would have got the frame and atmosphere right. The talk dirty thread on the forum was quite an eye opener to me and while it feels silly it doesn't half give sex a hardcore vibe.
Also did you finger bang her out? Like if I couldn't get it up I'd still play and cause some damage with my digits.
Also don't worry about the one incident, it happens man. I'm surprised it lasted to the morning as well but it's no big deal. Assuming you can get hard on your own you'll be fine with the chickas.
Also did you finger bang her out? Like if I couldn't get it up I'd still play and cause some damage with my digits.
Also don't worry about the one incident, it happens man. I'm surprised it lasted to the morning as well but it's no big deal. Assuming you can get hard on your own you'll be fine with the chickas.
Maybe youre just not attracted to her.
Quote: (07-23-2013 08:39 AM)bepi Wrote:
I'm on the way of getting over this problem myself. I stopped porn 2 months ago. I'm doing better now. I expect complete healing somewhere between 3 to 5 months in, based on accounts of others.
Fuck internet porn. I'm not going to watch it ever again in my life.
Damn. Is it really this bad?
The speaker in that TED talk said older guys can handle porn better since it didn't re-wire our brains during formative years. E.g., when I was 28, I was still having to have multiple browser tabs open to try creating a 3 minute film out of separate 30 second clips.
Are most of you guys under 25 or so?
Quote: (07-23-2013 11:57 AM)MikeCF Wrote:
Quote: (07-23-2013 08:39 AM)bepi Wrote:
I'm on the way of getting over this problem myself. I stopped porn 2 months ago. I'm doing better now. I expect complete healing somewhere between 3 to 5 months in, based on accounts of others.
Fuck internet porn. I'm not going to watch it ever again in my life.
Damn. Is it really this bad?
The speaker in that TED talk said older guys can handle porn better since it didn't re-wire our brains during formative years. E.g., when I was 28, I was still having to have multiple browser tabs open to try creating a 3 minute film out of separate 30 second clips.
Are most of you guys under 25 or so?
Im 20 and ive been watching porn all day and daily since 13 up until I was 18-19 and trying to quit. I think porn might have completely destroyed everything since I even try to imagine porn scenes when I am with a real girl to get more turned on.
I feel like an impotent 80 year old man in such situations.
^ Damn, bro, that is terrible.
Try some l-arginine. It's a natural amino acid that stimulates blood flow to the penis.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arginine
When I used to use "NO" pre-workout supplements, even the wind blowing would cause an erection.
If you're not doing hard cardio (at least 20 minutes with your heart rate between 160-180), start doing it. More cardio = better blood flow.
Your issue is likely psychological but you can often solve psychological problems buy changing your physiology.
Try some l-arginine. It's a natural amino acid that stimulates blood flow to the penis.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arginine
When I used to use "NO" pre-workout supplements, even the wind blowing would cause an erection.
If you're not doing hard cardio (at least 20 minutes with your heart rate between 160-180), start doing it. More cardio = better blood flow.
Your issue is likely psychological but you can often solve psychological problems buy changing your physiology.
Quote: (07-23-2013 12:03 PM)Every10GivesMeA10 Wrote:
Quote: (07-23-2013 11:57 AM)MikeCF Wrote:
Quote: (07-23-2013 08:39 AM)bepi Wrote:
I'm on the way of getting over this problem myself. I stopped porn 2 months ago. I'm doing better now. I expect complete healing somewhere between 3 to 5 months in, based on accounts of others.
Fuck internet porn. I'm not going to watch it ever again in my life.
Damn. Is it really this bad?
The speaker in that TED talk said older guys can handle porn better since it didn't re-wire our brains during formative years. E.g., when I was 28, I was still having to have multiple browser tabs open to try creating a 3 minute film out of separate 30 second clips.
Are most of you guys under 25 or so?
Im 20 and ive been watching porn all day and daily since 13 up until I was 18-19 and trying to quit. I think porn might have completely destroyed everything since I even try to imagine porn scenes when I am with a real girl to get more turned on.
I feel like an impotent 80 year old man in such situations.
This is gnarly. I wasn't aware it was such an issue but I guess I can see why. If all that porn had been been available when I was younger I'd have done the same, especially if I wasn't getting laid.
Are there any therapists out there focusing on this issue? Someone ought to write a how-to book about how to straighten out your sex drive after too many years of porn overload.
Beyond All Seas
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
I want to say the youtube type porn came out in '08.
If you look at the front page of any of them there are just tons of videos. Watch a video and there are suggested videos.
It's fucking sensory overdrive.
I bet this is affecting a fair amount of guys in their early 20s.
A lot of kids this age are also on adderall. I remember taking that shit at like age 19 and not being able to maintain an erection.
I dunno if that ties into it or not and I have no empirical evidence to back that. Just a theory.
If you look at the front page of any of them there are just tons of videos. Watch a video and there are suggested videos.
It's fucking sensory overdrive.
I bet this is affecting a fair amount of guys in their early 20s.
A lot of kids this age are also on adderall. I remember taking that shit at like age 19 and not being able to maintain an erection.
I dunno if that ties into it or not and I have no empirical evidence to back that. Just a theory.
You want to know the only thing you can assume about a broken down old man? It's that he's a survivor.
Always get regular medical exams. As others have said, psych and hormonal factors can be huge. I remember when I was 16 and masturbating many times daily, getting hard just sitting in school, I had a how 16 year old over my house and and couldn't get it up. I knew I was second fiddle to her boyfriend and didn't like the situation at all.
I've suffered the same plight when getting it on. My best advice which has helped me significantly:
- Lay off the wanking (doesn't have to be completely eliminated, but definitely cut down. I NEVER do it when I know I'll be going out or having a girl over).
- Eat well (make sure you're not hungry when going out or having a girl over. An empty stomach has hurt me in the past).
- Drink plenty of fluids throughout the day (water primarily, it's all I drink aside from coffee in the morning).
- Exercise (I do a combination of cardio and weightlifting. This has improved my endurance and overall performance).
- Proper sleep (make sure you're well-rested, especially if you'll be out late with her/picking girls up at a bar or club. I've come back late to my place after picking up girls, to succumb to not having the stamina to finish the job).
- Lay off the wanking (doesn't have to be completely eliminated, but definitely cut down. I NEVER do it when I know I'll be going out or having a girl over).
- Eat well (make sure you're not hungry when going out or having a girl over. An empty stomach has hurt me in the past).
- Drink plenty of fluids throughout the day (water primarily, it's all I drink aside from coffee in the morning).
- Exercise (I do a combination of cardio and weightlifting. This has improved my endurance and overall performance).
- Proper sleep (make sure you're well-rested, especially if you'll be out late with her/picking girls up at a bar or club. I've come back late to my place after picking up girls, to succumb to not having the stamina to finish the job).
Quote: (07-23-2013 12:15 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:
Quote: (07-23-2013 12:03 PM)Every10GivesMeA10 Wrote:
Quote: (07-23-2013 11:57 AM)MikeCF Wrote:
Quote: (07-23-2013 08:39 AM)bepi Wrote:
I'm on the way of getting over this problem myself. I stopped porn 2 months ago. I'm doing better now. I expect complete healing somewhere between 3 to 5 months in, based on accounts of others.
Fuck internet porn. I'm not going to watch it ever again in my life.
Damn. Is it really this bad?
The speaker in that TED talk said older guys can handle porn better since it didn't re-wire our brains during formative years. E.g., when I was 28, I was still having to have multiple browser tabs open to try creating a 3 minute film out of separate 30 second clips.
Are most of you guys under 25 or so?
Im 20 and ive been watching porn all day and daily since 13 up until I was 18-19 and trying to quit. I think porn might have completely destroyed everything since I even try to imagine porn scenes when I am with a real girl to get more turned on.
I feel like an impotent 80 year old man in such situations.
This is gnarly. I wasn't aware it was such an issue but I guess I can see why. If all that porn had been been available when I was younger I'd have done the same, especially if I wasn't getting laid.
Are there any therapists out there focusing on this issue? Someone ought to write a how-to book about how to straighten out your sex drive after too many years of porn overload.
The standard protocol is to abstain for PMO for at least 90 days and then slowly resensitize yourself to touch by giving yourself brief self massages over your penis/testicles/perineum in the shower while avoiding going anywhere near orgasm. Iam currently 150 days into this process right now, I know what I am talking about.
http://yourbrainonporn.com/how-long-will-it-take
http://yourbrainonporn.com/solo-tools
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/started-i...g-too-long
The problem lies in the limbic system of the brain. Jumping the gun and having sex or taking supplements will not fix this problem, but may set you back. Your plastic brain will resolve the issue if given enough time and the right kind of non-orgasmic stimulation.
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