[amity]

i've had something similar in the past except the girl didn't explicitly come out and state it and kept asking me out for drinks/gigs/etc but turned down any attempts i made at kino or escalation
i was a bit butthurt at first but since then it has helped me to some extent, as i've stayed in touch sporadically and through her, i've expanded my social circle of cute foreign chicks, ok some are spoken for but all provide some social proof, as they're all reasonably good looking women

[Giovonny]

Just agree with her.

Then, get her drunk and try to make out with her.

That's the only way to really know for sure..

Be really freindly with her, talk to her, laugh with her, party with her.

Get her drunk, go for it.

The only difference between "The Friends Zone" and "Friends with Benefits" is a little alcohol.

[bachelor tax]

Ok guys, after mulling this over I think I've come up with a pretty foolproof script that I'm going to follow if/when this happens to me in the future.

Quote:

Her: Lets just be friends

You: Oh... huh. *purse lower lip and furrow brow thoughtfully*

Her: What?? (or if she is particularly slow, you can throw in "I hadn't thought about that")

You: Well, would you make a good friend?

Her: What do you mean?

You: I mean, I have pretty high standards for who I'm friends with. What do you bring to the table in a friendship?

Her: Oh, uhh, umm...

You: C'mon, sell it to me.

Let's break this down. First, your very first response will throw her for a loop. She's either expecting you to be a butt-hurt beta and get mad about it ("not interested"), or throw yourself gleefully into her gravity well and become another one of her beta orbiters ("ok! sounds great!").

Instead of that, you are seriously considering her offer. This sub-communicates two key things:

1. Your intention is now clarified. I firmly believe the root cause of a LJBF shit test is not telegraphing your intention enough and making her confused. You probably have/had a chance, but you hesitated too long and she got confused, and confusion is a BAD EMOTION which makes her UNCOMFORTABLE, and so her subconscious must end the discomfort while punishing you for MAKING HER FEEL BAD. So she goes nuclear in the socially retarded way chicks are wont to do, and throws this Grade-A shit test at you.

Look at where we are now, however. You have just made it crystal clear that you want(ed) to fuck her, while instantly segueing to another topic. This segue is important. You can't just come out and say, "oh but I wanted to fuck you!" because she will be UNCOMFORTABLE again. This way you are giving her an easy escape hatch, to continue the conversation in this other direction.

2. The other thing you have sub-communicated to her is that you are not entirely sure if she's even worthy of your friendship. She was good enough to fuck, but the jury is still out on whether she's friend material. In fact, you hadn't even considered it!

"I have high standards for who my friends are" or "I only surround myself with awesome people" is your follow-up. Nice, subtle DHV.

Then cinch it with one of my favorite go-to all-purpose lines.. "sell it to me". Now she is qualifying herself to you in an OPEN ENDED manner. You basically just flat out told her "jump through this hoop". No, it's better than that. You actually just told her "find a hoop, hold it up and jump through it for me".

Carry this on far longer than seems reasonable. You are flipping the script on her. She PUNISHED you for making her feel bad, now you are punishing her for giving you bad feelings. But not in a bitter way, because you are giving her another EASY OUT. Escape these bad feelings for the low, low price of qualifying yourself to me. This is classic push/pull; reward her (eventually) for her compliance.

A good way to reward her is to get progressively less serious and more silly the more she complies with this. Start out totally deadpan. Maybe bring up her friendships with her current friends, if she's told you about them. If she's mentioned any interaction with one of her friends, use it against her! Whatever the situation was, take the other persons side and say "well that doesn't seem like what a good friend would do". Make her account for her actions.

If she is complying, you can take it into some fun role-playing. What if I killed a guy and I needed help getting rid of the body? Would you be there for me? What about when I'm married and I'm fucking around on my wife.. will you cover for me? Ask her how hot her friends are, and tell her you expect her to hook you up (jealousy game).

Another reason I say to push hard with this is to calibrate. If she actually did want to fuck you, and this was just her retarded way of "feeling you out" (by taking it off the goddamn table--yes, behold hamster logic) she will *eat this shit up*. If she had no intention of getting with you, and is in fact turned off by you, this will turn her off even harder. A common breed of girl (even moreso on OKCupid) take themselves way too seriously and would get pissed off. That is good. That kinda chick was not going to fuck you.

And maybe there's an in between option: she doesn't want to fuck you but would make an good wing/pivot. The type of girl who would throw pussy your way given the opportunity. It will be easy to act like you are on the fence about being her friend because you really are on the fence about being her friend.

And, obviously, if she jumps through all these hoops for you, redouble your efforts to fuck her, because she wants the D.

[DetlefMourning]

Thanks Bachelor Tax! That was basically exactly what I was looking for. I don't have any illusions about necessarily changing her mind, but I wanted to land somewhere in the middle between butthurt and "sure I'll be your friend" doormat.

[bachelor tax]

More roleplay ideas: turn it into a job interview. Have her come up with a resume, ask her cheesy canned HR interview questions. Finish with "don't call us, we'll call you"

[Beyond Borders]

(07-20-2013 08:23 PM)DetlefMourning Wrote:  

What do you say when a girl just straight out friendzones you like this?

[Parlay44]

I tend to change the way I treat them. I don't give them the obvious type of attention I'd give females I want to fuck.
I start to talk to them as if they are one of my guy friends. I trash talk and curse a lot more because I don't care about impressing them anymore. When you start gaming other women in front of them and you treat them like a man they feel the difference right away. They think that male attention is a right. You have to show them that it's a privilege. One that they've abused and are no longer worthy of.