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Success in cold approaching
#26

Success in cold approaching

Quote: (09-03-2010 03:31 AM)speakeasy Wrote:  

I sort of had that deer in the headlights reaction.

The same thing has been happening to me alot lately as I have attempted to make the transition from club gaming to day gaming. It sucks balls I know. You start getting anxious and trying to plan out a good approach/opener though it's a situation that requires split-second action in spite of the internal hesistation. Despite knowing this is what it took, I kicked myself in the ass for not following through. You just gotta do it and the words will come.
I got up Labor day morning and said I'm going to the mall and I'm going to approach - no more depending on nightclubs as my sole source of getting at the honies (need to save some dough for the dates, haha). Funny thing was, I didnt approach at the mall at all, got into a negative mood when my cousin bailed on me (doh!). However, I approached twice at the train station; once to and once fro. It was on the trip back, that I number-closed a nice tall mexican morena. I fully expect this to be a flake in the coming few days, despite the seemingly positive convo-flow we had going on, but that's fine. The momentum from that approach carried over and allowed me to convince the colombian/paki chick i met at the club a few nights before to go out with me later on that very day even though she swore to me that she was be too busy studying, etc, b.s. .-lota kissy-kissy action ensued later on, heheh.
What I mean to point out from all this is that the first approach is undoubtedly difficult since I am novice at daygame, but if you put yourself in the mindset that it has to be done then you'll go after the gal no matter. It's actually kind of an adrenaline rush. Daytime cold-approaching, as I have come to see in the last couple days, as addicting really, and you can use the momentum of that adrenaline to carry over into the next approach. It just gets more exciting from there and the possiblities (the sexual ones) that can arise from these random approaches are enough motivation.
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#27

Success in cold approaching

Once you transition your game from phone numbers to same-night bangs (for night game anyway), a lot of that flakiness shit disappears, replaced by logistical issues.
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#28

Success in cold approaching

Even though it's kind of considered one of the golden rules to NOT buy a girl a drink at a bar/club, I think if you're at least 15 mins. deep in good conversation with IOI's and kino established, then it's a good idea to buy a girl a drink. This way if she's already invested in the convo and is showing interested in you, then she'll stick around longer for the drink, and will be getting drunker, as well as have a good impression of you, esp. if you order some good shit.
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#29

Success in cold approaching

OGNorCal: If I've made out with the girl, buying a drink doesn't seem to hurt. It's not a "big deal" at that point.
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#30

Success in cold approaching

speakeasy, I've got another story for you.

Two weeks ago I was flying back to SFO from Amsterdam. Got a seat in exit row because KLM charges 75EUR for those seats if you're not Elite member, and the middle seat there tends to stay empty. Got a cute chick in the aisle seat, probably in late twenties, brunette, skirt and blouse, nice boobs and smiling. Usual airplane generic approach with "is SFO your final destination?" "where're you from" and so on. Had a small conversation before the takeoff with mostly her asking me questions, and maintaining steady eye contact. Now for all you PUAs here it would probably be perfect situation - a nice chick nearby, who wants to talk to you, and it is a ten boring hours flight with no cockblockers. I know what you guys would do, and here's what I did.

When we paused the conversation during some loud and stupid pre-takeoff announcement, I went to sleep, and slept all ten hours without waking up at all. She woke me up when we arrived at the gate in SFO. She got a custom declaration form for me, and even filled up the information she knew (date, flight number, country). Again had a five minute talk with her telling me that I was a "strange but interesting guy" (wtf?), and once we left the airplane I said goodbye and ran to immigration. It is a long walk in SFO, and I usually walk very fast and make it one of the first passengers from our plane. When I cleared the border agent, she wasn't even in the line yet. Went through customs, jumped into the taxi and went home.

Now the conclusion? It seems to me that the more situations like this I'm getting and wasting them up, then even more I'm getting back. But who cares? Fuck them, I gonna be in Thailand in three weeks, and I can wait.
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#31

Success in cold approaching

Quote: (08-31-2010 03:24 PM)Quasi Wrote:  

mystery is right about on thing, they dont assume responsibility for anything.. and their logic is just a word without any real meaning other that trying to sound like something other that an emotional being devoid of deliberate thinking.....

...Most women are pack animals devoid of abstract and subjective thinking and that also transfers into the cold approaches I guess, and as the panic oriented beings they are, if its foreign its probably best to be afraid..

This is really good, they totally lack good abstract thinking which includes morality constructs, although I disagree with the idea they don't have subjective thinking. That's ALL they have.

Whereas men think of our process as:
1) Thought/idea--- 2) Check with emotional thermometer- " DO I really want her?" " Is she too needy"-- 2) Action 3) Assess outcome

They are the opposite. They take the world as it is ( Why almost none of the great inventions are by women-- vaccines, sanitation, internet, the integrated circuit) and think " I want that" like infants.

They're not monsters, they're more sensitive than we are thus far fewer murderers and Hitler type assh0les, but they think only in terms of how they feel and what they want.

So as far as logic goes, it's OPPOSITE. They do what they feel like and as the OP said, THEN they come up with a "reason", but it's just a formality.

I think for me the key thing is not to get pissed off at them about it, cause I need them around to be happy. I mean, which is more important- that they can't reason, or that she can have violent, convulsive orgasms for like five minutes? [Image: exclamation.gif][Image: exclamation.gif]

I read once that "Women should be treated like children, it is a compliment to both them and us. "
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#32

Success in cold approaching

@Oldnemesis

I only WISH I could sleep on planes like you did, bro! I can't knock out while in the air for even 10 minutes yet alone 10 hours.

For some reason, as much as I've flown, I can think of only one time I sat next to a half decent looking girl. I was flying quite a few years back now and got into a good conversation toward the last hour or so of the flight. She had a boyfriend in L.A. I took her email address anyway but didn't bother getting in touch.

On a long 10 hour flight like you had, that could be kind of tricky. Yeah it sounds good like you said, hot girl next to you, she can't go anywhere, no cockblocks, 10 boring hours. But think about it. Maintaining ten hours of conversation with someone you just met the first time is going to be challenging. I've spoken maybe 3-4 hours straight at most to another passenger before running out of stuff to chat about. I once spoke for about 2 hours straight to a hot Italian chic on a flight from Venice to Atlanta. But she was married. After 2 hours I felt like I said all I could really talk about with her. And if it's a girl you want to hook up with at some point, it has to be 10 hours of conversation that is going to escalate into something later. How would you keep up that momentum? You really can only escalate so much. If you were in a bar or club, you can talk, then get up and dance then come back for a drink, get some kino going, start kissing, go do a little more bump and grind on the dance floor, and if it goes well after that, venue change or bounce to your pad with her if she's DTF. Sure, maybe there's a couple advanced gamers out there that can pull off some mile-high club shit by taking her to the bathroom, but realistically, most girls ain't gonna wanna do a SNL in an airplane bathroom with a dude they just met.

Hey you know what, this would actually make an interesting secondary topic: Airplane game. I'd love to see what G, International Swag and Mixx have to say about it. How to keep shit interesting if you're sitting next to a hottie on a looooong trans-oceanic flight. How do you escalate and keep the momentum going for 10+ hours on a plane without getting bored of just chatting?
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#33

Success in cold approaching

I damn myself sometimes, for passing fleeting moments of potential greatness.. today riding my bike through town going to the gymn before lab, I saw this stunning girl and she was checking me out and I was dressed sharp and should have stopped and pressed for a later hookup. About the subjective thinking I was thinking on most not emotional subjects, but I agree maybe your right..

Best chicks in this town is studying medicine.. no fucking doubt about it.. I was as this party saturday AMAZING.. simply that, did talk to some ladies but ended up hitting and getting IOI of one that when I pushed for number closure gave me the " but I have a boyfriend" in which case I didnt bother to push more or entertain her any further, since the environment is pretty small and closed and everyone knew everyone, so best not to create a rep.
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#34

Success in cold approaching

Quote: (09-14-2010 11:02 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

I only WISH I could sleep on planes like you did, bro! I can't knock out while in the air for even 10 minutes yet alone 10 hours.

Easy. Take a job which requires you to fly overseas every two months, and after a year you'll sleep better in the airplane seat than in your own bed. This year I found out that even my back doesn't even hurt after sleeping.

But so far I've only been on 14 hour flights max, excluding connections. Let's see how Thailand flight will work (it is 2 + 9 + 7 flight time).
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#35

Success in cold approaching

Quote: (09-01-2010 12:13 PM)texaschili Wrote:  

This is probably the most interesting post I have ever read on this forum. The question raised drives to the core of approaching and I think about it often: how many girls do I have to approach to close one deal? It is a fundamentally related question to anyone in sales or real estate. Are you closing deals or just doing a lot of talking and getting jerked around?

Any business is going to analyze the effectiveness of their sales force. How many leads are being generated and how many deals are being closed. I took this business approach to pickup. I wrote down the name of every girl I have at least kissed. If I don’t at least kiss them I don’t even record their name. Out of 27 girls I have made out with in the past 3.5 years I notched 3. So if I make out with a girl there is an 11.11% chance I will notch them. This is an arbitrary calculation (notches / makeouts). Also it is must be noted that if you make out too heavily with the girl you will not notch them b/c they will get buyer’s remorse driving the % close rate down. The more interesting statistic is (notches / cold approaches) it would be interesting to see that!

The only other noteworthy statistics I got from my analysis is that if you go home with the girl the night you meet them you are guaranteed far more interesting things to happen then if you settle for a phone #.

The original poster was asking about more efficient uses of time which I seek. I proffer that if you have a good social circle of girls that have girlfriends that is gonna be a more efficient source of #s and notches but if you don’t have that you only have cold approaches to rely on. I get disillusioned with the field but it is the main resource I have. You could also consider the magic of graduate school and just walk up to the girls in class.

Does anyone have a link to the Mystery quote?

This is very interesting because I was literally thinking the same thing.

The connection between sales and closing totty is directly related.
I think a cold call salesman will be in the best training stance to start to close chicks and throw in SNL's, etc.
After being shut down by a number of lizards, one will start to look at the no's as a learning tool and actually pockets of information. The no's are actually knowing what spots won't yield water (pussy or whatever you are looking for).
Once you accept the no's as part of the organic module in which we must participate in, that's when the fun begins.
Without a yes, a no cannot exist. Therefore in order to enjoy a yes, one must know what it is like to dislike a no.
It's like this, enjoying a meal when you are hungry is far more preferable than eating when you are not hungry.
For instance, if I am not that horny, I'll dodge my regulars because the nutt is far sweeter when it is built up than overused.

Even I can be quite reticient in general but due to my side hustle in which I have to build my own client base, I am becoming more comfortable with talking to strangers (I used to hate small talk with a passion).

Of course, when I am drunk, I am SuperCasaNova, not giving a fcuk about any shutdowns (without the boorish attitude to follow) but I really would like to achieve this in a sober state. Generally, during daylight hours as I walk the streets performing every day chores, I am usually sober. Having the drunken wit behind me for cold approaching is thus out of the question since this is usually done at an atypical social scene i.e. the library, the supermarket, the grocery store, the bus stop, the museum.

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#36

Success in cold approaching

Quote: (09-01-2010 07:51 AM)MiXX Wrote:  

I always HATE mentioning what I do for a living, so instead, I talk about PAST accomplishments and positions that I used to have, to lead her to imagine what I do present day without saying it. Now, please do not say, I use to flip burgers at a fast food restaurant if you manage a Mcdonalds today. That is not a DHV! That is just being funny if you throw it out there...be playful, not funny.


Mixx

Very helpful, thanks for reminder about the pack animal factor.

Could you elaborate on why you don't like discussing your work, I know it tends to pigeonhole and define one a lota nd may take the emphasis off fun and what you and the girl can do together, but I'm curious if those are the reasons you don't like mentioning it.

Thanks
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#37

Success in cold approaching

Direct game, I've always have a debate on my head on this. I've tried it yes, it did seem to work perfectly until I fucked up with other stuff (but thats another story). All in all I think I rather go for indirect game, its much more spontaneous and contrary to what they say on some places, I think it lowers their defences more than direct game.

Speakeasy maybe you could have opened by throwing a funny comment/neg about a special product she was going to buy? You can also check what she's buying and ask if she has tried <product name similar to product she's taking>, start from there and take the conversation to a building a attraction and interest direction.
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#38

Success in cold approaching

Here's what I'm noticing. Girls know what we want right? If they're flaking it's because at the last minute they didn't come over because you were going to fuck them, or they were worried you would. I've realized that if you can guilt them when they try to flake, you have a good chance of banging them when they show up. If a girl agrees to see you, you should be able to fuck them that night. If you don't, there's a good chance it's gone because they've come to their senses. Girls are flaking because of all the silly reasons as mentioned but, also because they're close to fucking you. You got to guilt them.

I told one girl via text "wow, you seemed so pretty and sweet. I have to admit that I'm a little surprised right now."

All of a sudden she could see me for a little bit but, "had to go early" and would meet up as long as I was ok with that. Of course, this is bullshit because once we start speaking her comfort level goes up and she stays.

Old Nemesis, she was negging you because she wanted you.
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