[Valnardan]

Not very long ago, I was talking with this girl, Chelsea. She's been a friend of mine for about 10 years. We got to talking about why we never hooked up in high school (10 years ago), and I told her that if she hadn't been with this guy at the time, I probably would have made a move. She replied that I should have just tried to take her from him, and that I would have had like a 98% chance. Well, this was about a month ago that we were talking about this, and I told her that when she was single again I'd be after her. She was in a relationship with a guy that I know she liked, unlike the guy in high school that she said I should have taken her from. Well, no more than three days later, she sent me a message telling me to call her because her guy broke up with her after about 2 and a half years. I called and she told me that since I said I'd be after her if she were single again, she figured she should let me know, but she's also stated that she's in no condition to be with someone else yet. Since then, she's decided that she wanted to move me across Texas to be her roommate, and I have now lived with her for about 5 days. Things were rocky between her and the ex for a while before I got here, but now that I'm here things are going bad for me. I haven't really made my intentions clear to you yet, but I want this girl to be mine, for good. I'm good at keeping them, but I'm no good at the getting them. She has made it clear a few times that she is not ready for another relationship yet. Also, since I've been in town, this ex of hers has gotten jealous of me, and I think it's having the effect of refueling their relationship. This is not what I want, obviously. Things are starting to seem better between the two of them, and while I don't want to sabatoge it, I WOULD like to get the focus on me. It's obvious from the way this girl has been acting that she has something for me. I just need to know how to capitalize on it before she's back in this ex's arms/bed again. She does know my intentions already, I've made sure of that. She didn't really give a readable response, though. I know this isn't the usual type of advice sought after here, but I need to find a way for this to work out for me and there's a lot of experience available here.

[thekiller]

I think you lost this one at the point you moved across the State to be with her. Then, you didn't push to bed her yet. You need to lead.
This is probably a lost cause, but move back to where you were. Be slightly aloof and lead in all interactions with her.

[K-man]

Don't wait any longer brother - get her in bed tonight. Just crack open a bottle of red vino, put on some music, tell her you two should "relax" and hit it. If she doesn't let you, pack your shit and move back to where you came from. That would mean she's a selfish bitch who's just using you to cry on your shoulder.
We shouldn't have to tell you these things had you read more of the forum or the blog.

[Caramel Communist]

I have one question....Did you move across the country for this girl? Or did you do it for personal opportunities outside of this girl? Otherwise this chick just used you to save rent.......

[Badstuber]

(08-14-2010 02:46 AM)K-man Wrote:  

Don't wait any longer brother - get her in bed tonight. Just crack open a bottle of red vino, put on some music, tell her you two should "relax" and hit it. If she doesn't let you, pack your shit and move back to where you came from. That would mean she's a selfish bitch who's just using you to cry on your shoulder.
We shouldn't have to tell you these things had you read more of the forum or the blog.

I agree with this.

[MiXX]

Man. Sorry man, but you are acting like what alpha dogs called emotional tampons. You see, the real problem is you want her, and show TOO MUCH empathy and compassion fie her pathetic life.

I can't get over the fact of why you want to consider a "relationship" with a woman who is flat out showing you how slutty she is. She is willing to fuck other men while in a relationship!!!

Wake up!!

[AlphaQup2nite]

Just to add to mixx's statement.

Also timing has a lot to do with it. Ive known chicks for years i run a few things by to test reactions before i take them out into the real world, and they will never react in the same way at different times. They say and do what they think they should do to fit in. Kinda like how a chick is much more likely to cheat if shes pissed off after a fight then after a romantic weekend or so.

Also, woman will cheat no matter what, its just pushing the right buttons in her and giving her what she feels she is lacking in a relationship. I have never met a loyal chick or a loyal guy, anyways. All of them cheat if they want it, or think they can get away with it. Some just have crazy high standards.

Tip, just be direct and let her know that your attention hinges on physical escalation. If things dont move forward, cut her off and make her come to you. If she doesnt, then go fuck another one. Remember, you are in the game of getting what you want, and you dont need to put up with all this shit that most girls want you to. There are millions of them out there, even the most ugly socially awkward guy will get laid if he meets enough people, so who bother thinking this much about one chick? If you want a relationship, you are just asking for much more trouble then you can ever expect no matter how hot or awesome the girl seems. As soon as husband of baby mode kick on, you are in a world of hassle.

[Valnardan]

Well, it seems I may be in the wrong place for the information I'm looking for. To respond to a few of the replies in no particular order: First off, I'm not paying any bills here. She's taking care of me. She hasn't cheated on anyone since I've known her, and at the moment if she were to sleep with me she's single so she's not cheating. I am interested in the long term relationship, also. I've been around and slept with beautiful women. I just want to stick with this one. I have my reasons. She's really not THAT hot, she's just amazing amounts of fun to be around. Hot women are easy to find and fairly easy to get into bed. Finding one that you know you can put up with for a long time is rare.

Don't misunderstand me though. If my intentions ended at getting into her pants, you guys have good advice.

[MiXX]

Well, getting in her pants is what this forum is about slick!

Mixx

[Valnardan]

Ok, well since getting her in bed will promote my cause, how the hell do I deal with someone that's got blinders on to anyone but the ex. Since I first posted here, she's been on her period, so I haven't tried to put any moves on her yet. But if I were to do so, what's the best approach. I don't have to have a catchy pickup line or anything, we're good friends and we live together, so I have an advantage. She's just so blatantly blind to anyone else right now. Whatever I do, I don't want it to be something that if it fails will also destroy future opportunities. (In case it's not painfully obvious, I'm not the PUA type)

[Roosh]

Quote:

Hot women are easy to find and fairly easy to get into bed. Finding one that you know you can put up with for a long time is rare.

This is very similar to a Ross Jeffries line. My troll radar lit up a bit...

Quote:

I've been around and slept with beautiful women.

I find this extremely hard to believe based on your original post. Guys who sleep with beautiful women don't move across the state to live with one they haven't done anything with. Just doesn't make sense. You gonna come clean or what?

[Valnardan]

I didn't just move to where I am for some girl. I moved here because job opportunities suck where I lived, and my daughter is only 45 minutes from here. And I don't need anyone to believe what kind of women I've been with, really. I'm not offended that you don't believe me or anything. It's easier to get women when you don't really care about them. Also, I'm not trying to troll. I'm just looking for advice is all. If I were trying to troll I'd have taken offense to some of the responses here.

[MiXX]

Ok...I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you are truly a poor sap, and not a troll. However, it's Roosh you ultimately have to convince.

So, here is my advice, and it seems you have already answered your own question.

Right now this girl is doing nothing more than what all girls do: rant, cry-out, act bitchy/needy and manipulate others when they don't get things their way. And you, young bro, are at the receiving end of her emotional roller coaster as a tampon for her frustrations an neediness. Again, my opinion is solely based on what you have described, nothing else.

Stop giving a damn about how she will feel and make a move. In other words, as you already stated, stop caring so much, and for Pete's sake stop being so empathetic of her emotional needs. You are dangerously hovering the area to be placed in the "friend zone" quickly, and permanently young bro!

if you want to have her as a girlfriend, I assume you will want to have sex with your soon to be new girlfriend, right? So, make a sexual escalation and tell her your intentions. If she rejects your advances to escalate - then realize it was a lost cause since the day you decided to comply with her demands/requests/favor by moving in! Anything you try to do from now on are hail mary attempts.

So, If she says "no" (more than 3x), then bail! There are plenty of roommates to be found on Craigs list and other forums, so you don't necessarily need to be with her per se, which I feel is hurting you more than helping you.


Mixx

[Quasi]

Sounds bad... the fact that you didnt insta-bang her and talks about her ex bf at all is really crappy, you shouldnt be hearing ANYTHING or very little about him its major turn off and really put you in the girlfriend category..

Sounds like loose/loose, its not that bad, its just learn and move on and frankly its poor judgement to go for anyone for more than BANG who is just out of a relationship...

EVEN if against the odds she does fuck you and do take you for BF, you will >50% be dumped within three month for the ex or anynother fly guy, when she do feel ready, or the Illussion about you and the highschool crush wears off..

Why set yourself of for hurt and heartbreak when there is better options?

[thekiller]

(08-16-2010 12:44 AM)Valnardan Wrote:  

Well, it seems I may be in the wrong place for the information I'm looking for. To respond to a few of the replies in no particular order: First off, I'm not paying any bills here. She's taking care of me. She hasn't cheated on anyone since I've known her, and at the moment if she were to sleep with me she's single so she's not cheating. I am interested in the long term relationship, also. I've been around and slept with beautiful women. I just want to stick with this one. I have my reasons. She's really not THAT hot, she's just amazing amounts of fun to be around. Hot women are easy to find and fairly easy to get into bed. Finding one that you know you can put up with for a long time is rare.

Don't misunderstand me though. If my intentions ended at getting into her pants, you guys have good advice.

I assure you, in Long Term Relationships as well, you need to lead and be decisive, ESPECIALLY if you don't want her cheating on you. In order to lead her and keep her, you have to be willing to lose her. It sounds like your WAY too available and invested in what she thinks of you and she can see it a mile off.

It's shitty it has to be this way, but about the only way you'll get what you want is to bed her now... keep it light and fun and don't act like it means much to you.. all the while working on your life making it an interesting lifestyle. If she sees you get your validation from exciting things IN your life, she'll want to come along for the ride.

[Roosh]

(08-16-2010 07:02 PM)Valnardan Wrote:  

I'm just looking for advice is all.

Obviously you're not:

Quote:

Well, it seems I may be in the wrong place for the information I'm looking for

Goodbye.

I gotta be the troll cop or else this forum is going to be overrun but dudes who don't have anything better to do than make shit up. Gotta keep the quality high.