[Scipio]

I live in medellin, colombia, and often i have the problem that the girl tells me that she doesn´t have the money to pay for a taxi. Mostly it´s just about ~6$. But also i don´t believe that most girls don´t have the money, they just don´t want to spend it (what´s totally fine if you just earn 300$ a month). The problem is that also girls want that the man pays their cab if she has rich parents or a higher income. The girls usually sleep with me but i don´t hear any "Thanks" for paying the cab. And very fast i am the rich gringo for them. They sleep with me because i have money and they want to get her dinner. So it´s a little bit like paying for the Sex.

What´s your mindset in this case?

Thanks!

[Mrs. Chocolate]

This rule is the same one to paying drinks for girls.

[speakeasy]

Dude, she just spread her legs for you, at least help her get home. Sheesh...Would you rather pay for a prostitute? $6 is a small price to pay for some poon, really.

[Badstuber]

I would make sure she really gets into the taxi. Or better yet, be friends with a taxi driver, get his number and ask if she really went home.

[hydrogonian]

Is this a serious question?

[AlphaQup2nite]

There is a line between being "cheap" and not being sap. Especially in countries less on gender equality.

Anywhere in the world tho, paying for a taxi is always less than a hooker, and you get the ego boost of getting what you wanted. Why is it such a problem for a few bucks?

[charmer]

think about it...wat is more important for you?,a simple THANKS or BANG.

[BaronStanley]

i think he is asking how to avoid being put into provider role guy who buys her things. And paying for the taxi ride is the start of a chain effect.

I dont have any great suggestions for avoiding this. In countries like Colombia, the man is generally expected to pay for everything. Paying for dates and taxi rides home seems fine. But buying her things like clothes, etc... Im not going to be doing that.

[DevoLach]

There needs to be a line though. Im in Santa Marta Colombia right now and have a few chicks that seem to take the whole provider thing a bit too far. For example theres one chick im with whose putting the pressure on me to take not only her but her friend too to Taganga for what I expect will be an "all expenses paid weekend..." for them.

[hydrogonian]

(08-06-2010 10:53 AM)DevoLach Wrote:  

There needs to be a line though. Im in Santa Marta Colombia right now and have a few chicks that seem to take the whole provider thing a bit too far. For example theres one chick im with whose putting the pressure on me to take not only her but her friend too to Taganga for what I expect will be an "all expenses paid weekend..." for them.

Your overthinking it.

Two girls want you to take them on vacation. One is already having sex with you. There is not a more perfect scenario for a threesome.

How much can a three person weekend in Colombia be? If your broke, then skip it. If you have the cash, you'll be kicking yourself in your older years that you didn't take two young non-pro colombians up on their offer to spend the entire weekend with them in a private room, when they are in the vacation mindset. They sure as hell arent going to pay for it, and no Colombian women will. If you want the experience, then crack that wallet.

This is a crazy thread. You guys are way over-thinking the provider thing. Not buying girls anything is not what it means to have good game or not pay for sex. Your shooting yourselves in the foot.

There's a difference between paying for things in the provider role, and paying for things so that the girl doesn't feel like a total ditch pig for having sex with a unflinchingly cheap and un-fun bastard.

The truth is, the better your game, the more you can getaway with not paying things for a while. But it wont last. Eventually, every girl at least wants to know that her man is willing to pay for a baseline level of fun, convenience, and safety. As long as it isn't usurious, then you have nothing to worry about.

Girls want to go on vacations.

Girls want to go to dinners.

Girls want you to pay for rounds of drinks, within reason.

Girls want to feel safe in Taxis.

If your looking to get the most out of every woman, then you need to open that wallet on occasion. If your not sticking with them, fine. But theres a sweet spot of exchange of sex, game and money that you can reach if you aren't cheap, that you wont feel bad at all for paying for things, because she will make it totally worth your while. Its not paying for sex, its about showing respect in a way that has been the social norm since the caveman days.

Take it from me, I've had women pay for everything, over a number of months, several times. Its way overrated in terms of the return that you get. Show her some baseline respect, pay for some fun, and make the most of that notch.

Honestly, if you don't pay for shit, you deserve to have every woman that you date ripped away from you by a guy with equivalent game and some cash to spend. And its very rare that there isn't a guy within your girls circle with equivalent game.

[speakeasy]

(08-06-2010 04:11 PM)hydrogonian Wrote:  

Honestly, if you don't pay for shit, you deserve to have every woman that you date ripped away from you by a guy with equivalent game and some cash to spend. And its very rare that there isn't a guy within your girls circle with equivalent game.

Great post over all, Hydro, one of the best I've ever read on this topic. I agree 110%. I don't want to drop more cash than need be just like the next guy, but you have to spend something. And like you said, don't get into the whole provider/sugar daddy thing. It's all about how you frame it. If you just want an experience and are inviting her to be part of your exciting life for a few days, it's totally cool. If you're buying her shit to try and win her approval, then you've lost the frame. As long as you control the frame, it doesn't matter if you spend a few bucks on her.

[Kona]

The other day I paid for a girl's cab in the morning when I stayed in a hotel.

I don't know if this is common, but you can do it where you swipe your credit card first then add a tip and it completes the charge when the person gets dropped off.

A few hours later I checked the credit card website. $59.70 for that girl's cab ride. Where the hell did she go??? What a ripoff.

So paying for the cab is nice and gentlemanly, but it's freaking expensive.

Aloha!

[speakeasy]

@Kona

What?!?! Are you abroad somewhere? I wouldn't do that credit card swipe unless it was an already agreed upon fare upfront from a reputable cab company.

[Mrs. Chocolate]

speakeasy: If she was around SP, not very far, I suppose. A ride from my place to downtown costs almost $100 during the night. That's why I only go out when I have a ride home or at least to the subway. I may spend more in a cab than I drunk in the whole night.
About paying the cab: I thought it was a random girl, but if you are with her, why not? It's a kindness. It is the same thing when men expect the women cook for them. Very simple: you get what you give. If you give a shit, then you will receive a shit or at most not quality women. If you spend some time and money you will have better opportunities.
@ hydro: I'm with you.

[Kona]

(08-06-2010 05:15 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

@Kona

What?!?! Are you abroad somewhere? I wouldn't do that credit card swipe unless it was an already agreed upon fare upfront from a reputable cab company.

I'm in Waikiki, and yes I'm a dumbass. I even called the Korean cab company with the fancy Cadillacs so I could look classy.

When I asked the girl what was with the expensive cab she told me she just went home and played stupid. Now we all know that when a woman, especially a Filipino one, spends a man's money they morph from waitresses to CPA's keeping track of it.

Aloha!

[Scipio]

okay, some things to my mindset:

I want to improfe my game. I wasn´t that successfull in youth and now i am it more or less. So i want to enjoy improfement, learning new things, improfe my character, strengh my reality.

I have the money for buying chicks, so if i want to have sex, i get it.
I´m willing to pay for some things (and i really don´t care if its a cab, dinners, clothes or jewellerys) if i want to make the girl happy or reward good behaviour. Now there occurred a few situations that shocked my mindset and right now i don´t have any opinion of this.

I met a girl, we had much fun, i feeled some kind of connection. I just tested what happens, and told her while the phone call that i don´t pay cabs for girls that i don´t know, but i´m interested in getting to know her. Her answer shocked me because she insulted me and was another person than before.

Now i started thinking if all the girls slept just with me because i brought her in my penthouse, invited them to dinner, etc.

So i started to not inviting to dinner and don´t pay for cabs. But now it´s weekend and i´m alone. Stopped having contact with girls that regulary asked for paying, fucked yesterday the ugliest girl in my life and felt today morning even worse than before.

Where do you see problems in my mindset?

[Mrs. Chocolate]

Pay for me then! aahahahaha
The thing is you are giving away everything and maybe showing off your expensive (or not) tastes. Those actions attrack the girls that you don't want. YOu may not say but in your actions probably you are showing off. Try to put a balance in that. Don't give everything but don't be cheap. Invite her for dinner, movies and stuff. And don't overthink this subject. Because you are.

[Roosh]

Do you want her to respect you? If so, then don't pay.

[charmer]

(08-06-2010 08:29 PM)Roosh Wrote:  

Do you want her to respect you? If so, then don't pay.

forgive me..but i have contradiction.

i dont want girls to respect me and then dont bed me...all i want is them to bed me first then anything else...i ll do anything by any means possible in order to get laid with a girl...wheather by spending on her..or not.

spending on a difficult girl and then get laid is even more thrill.

when you bang a girl...she automatically start respecting you.

[hydrogonian]

(08-06-2010 05:57 PM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote:  

A ride from my place to downtown costs almost $100 during the night.
@ hydro: I'm with you.

No women would be getting $100 cab rides from me. She would be sleeping over or paying herself.

I'm talking about the little things, and some larger things (dinner, a weekend away) when she deserves it or when I feel like going.

Theres a balance, and if I thought that she felt entitled I wouldn't spend a dime. Its about what I want, and about a certain baseline below which is just being cheap. For instance, overthinking a $6 cab ride, especially if she just slept over or if you want to sleep with her soon, is cheap and to your detriment.

At a certain point, she will lose respect for you if you never open the wallet. Conversely, as Roosh says, she will lose respect if its clear that you are buying her time with money. Its a balance.

If you really don't care about the girl being around after a month, then its easy to game her and not pay for a thing. If you like her, and don't want a certain element of bitterness from her after a while, you have pay for some things.

Lets put it this way: if she feels any anxiety, at all, about what you do and don't pay for then you've fucked up. A girl, who your truly gaming well enough, to the point where she doesn't think about what she's gaining monetarily from the situation, won't care about what your paying for. She will actually offer to pay to be with you.

However, if she has anxiety or is bitter about your cheapness, then you haven't gamed her well enough to have the privilege to not pay for anything. You need to open the wallet to make up for your lack of game, or else she is gone. The less game you have, the more you have to pay. But like I earlier stated, even the best gamed girls will want that modicum of respect after a while. You will have to make her feel like a woman who you will at least treat to somethings, sometimes.

I once dated a woman who was a multi-millionaire, by marriage. She paid for everything for months and months. Money was no object. It truly made zero difference to her. She was also obsessed with me to the point where she would go to great lengths to be with me, or near me. I needed to game her no more. She was hooked as much as a woman could be. But at the end, she still wanted me to treat her to a nice dinner. It was about not feeling used, about making her feel like a woman, and not disrespected. I was more than happy to oblige.

[DevoLach]

@Hydrogonian
Spot on post.

"Theres a balance, and if I thought that she felt entitled I wouldn't spend a dime. Its about what I want, and about a certain baseline below which is just being cheap."

Totally agree. Plus I find that entitlement attitude to be a major turn off.

[lilactag]

Confussion works..

To not be put on the provider frame, I joke about never inviting girls, that i expect them to pay my expenses, but reality is, depending on ocassion, i buy full dinners and I am not cheap.

But i "say" to them I am cheap, so they expect little more than my precious company.

Many, many times, we go out to have drinks, like last night and I end up paying nothing, the girl i went out last night with said it was up for her and i just let them pay.

A few other times i pay for everything or we pay half or whatever.

Now, taxi paying, for me is different because they should be able to get home by their own means.

All girls i go out with have cars, so that is different, in fact they take me out because I pull out the excuse I only ride my sport bikes alone!
But if they need a cab in Colombia, it tells me they are lower class and maaaan you should pay a bit, it is cheap for some nice banging action and we sooner or later pay for sex, no matter how we game.
we just need to realize that!

[Scipio]

Sorry for Spam, but special thanks to all posters, that´s a great forum with many openminded guys. Thanks!

[K-man]

A few years ago, in another 3rd wolrd country where most girls have little disposable income and have to either be driven by you or put in a cab by you, you can imagine my surprise when a girl who spent the night at my place insisted she'd take the bus in the morning.
She is my wife now.

[Mrs. Chocolate]

Honestly, I don't expect that men pay me a cab. I he does, I would like, of course. But is not his obligation.
Maybe I think this because taxi is very expensive around here. However, a man around here should give to the girl a ride home (not all the way, but leave her in at least in a spot that she can go home easier, I subway station for example) depending on how late the date ends, because is not okay walk by yourself during the night. I mean, after the 00:00 there is no way to go home (by public transport) and a ride is highly necessary.