[Divorco]

I was struck by the ease of talking to a woman at my pool party this weekend. I'm reminded of snobby suburban women who mistreat store clerks ... until they learn the clerks are children of their neighbors. It's a similar phenomenon, where the women drop their defenses.

The average woman pairs off with the average man who lives and works nearby. The average guy has no game, but circumvents bitch and paranoia shields. Roosh's day game is like that. Mark Manson's (Entropy's) day game model is to simply act "normal".

El Mechanico is a master at "mistake-free" game. He calibrates accurately to avoid pushing too fast and raising defenses. He realizes most women will pair off when they are ready. At that point they choose the best available guy in their comfort zone. He just keeps in touch and stays in this zone without chasing or expending too much effort. There is an underlying concept here.

[DBCooper]

Last time I entered the comfort zone I also entered the friend zone. Not hating on what you're saying, however. I just don't seem to have mastered the balance yet.

Edit: I re-read your post and find myself agreeing with it more - I see it happening a lot at school/college.

[JohnKreese]

It sounds like a solution could be to go to more pool parties (and, obviously, other similarly-themed events) around town where women will react in an appropriate manner, assuming that you are in their extended social circle. I can't imagine anyone was asking "what unit are you in?" and everyone assumes that you're part of the "community".

[Gallego2006]

Sounds like playing long game to me.

It definitely works if you have the right mindset. Which is generally when you're not really looking for anything, then the women in your circle start putting out the IOIs at you.

[presidentcarter]

The thing I don't like about "social circle" game is the waves you'll make if you ever want to pull the plug with a girl you've pulled.

[Divorco]

(06-04-2013 06:43 AM)DBCooper Wrote:  

Last time I entered the comfort zone I also entered the friend zone.

El Mechanico is definitely not obsequiously trying to be friends. He keeps in touch without expending a lot of effort; his cell phone typically has 50 unread messages. He does not chase until they are ready.

I read about Aaron Sleazy and Nick Krauser being very direct on London streets. But American girls are very skittish. I think there is a real art to making small talk and getting inside their shields.

[WestCoast]

I hate social circle game.

In any social circle of 10 there are 7-8 people there I have zero interest in speaking to. More cockblockers, more worries of her being judged going home with the wrong man, harder to date up because of said social value issues etc. IMHO time is just not worth it, you can nab up 5-6 leads in less than 3 hours at night, or at least 1-2 in a few hours during the day.

Also FYI direct game works in the USA also, I don't ramble at all (day or night).

But yeah, any time you are seen as "in" within a social group or "normal" they will happily engage you in conversation. But then as mentioned above you're stuck with a bunch of dorks.

[The Beast1]

Social circle gaming is difficult. It all depends on how much the group hates players.

I was friends with a couple of 6s and 7s in an underground sorority at my underground. I was passed around like a cigarette with 4 girls there in the span of two months. I ended up dating the last girl.

That same girl had a different social circle who knew me from other dealings (other hook ups) and they knew me by my infamous reputation. They didn't like me but because i was dating their friend they kept their mouth shut.

One woman was visibly snotty to me, i always laughed at her attitude. I make more money than all of them so they're still haters hatin' but meh they're all white knights.

I would seriously not worry about it, but if you only have one social circle or you're in a place where the degrees of seperation are small it's best to just lay back and let the girls passively come to you. If you're well dressed, work out, and have a good job this will happen naturally.

[el mechanico]

I've written out three posts here explaining this but I can't explain it so I deleted. If anyone has a question it may help me explain.

Remember in Florida you're dealing with girls from all over so you have to calibrate continuously. One day it may be some Italian girl from Long Island with a big mouth the next some redneck girl that wants to go mud boggin. Some times they have so much shit to talk you have to wait until the smoke clears to make moves. Now, if you know this in advance you just let it happen without grenading and deleting the number.

[Divorco]

(06-04-2013 11:03 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

If anyone has a question it may help me explain.

Some times they have so much shit to talk you have to wait until the smoke clears to ... just let it happen without grenading and deleting the number.

I probably mistitled this post by mentioning with social circle. My point is that women are not defensive within social circles and other situations (on vacation, shortage of men, etc.). In crowded situations (D.C. bars, online) they get approached a lot and automatically reject 90% of guys. But these are not rational rejections based on the guy's true quality. The women just have reflexive "bitch shields" because they are overwhelmed with pressure.

Some guys manage to nonchalantly avoid bad reactions. They casually talk with the women without triggering defensiveness and without entering the friend zone. In other words, they artificially get treated like "normal" guys who are already within the social circle. The question is how to bypass filters and get treated in a friendly, non-bitchy way.

[AneroidOcean]

(06-04-2013 09:11 AM)presidentcarter Wrote:  

The thing I don't like about "social circle" game is the waves you'll make if you ever want to pull the plug with a girl you've pulled.

You're doing it wrong if you're going to create big waves, although having some ripple effect is unavoidable in many cases. While I agree with WestCoast that social circle game is not generally even close to the best way to meet women, networking and having those social skills is really crucial to success in life and with women.

The key to social circle game is to be the central point between multiple interesting/exciting social circles. When you can give people high value by simply making an introduction or bringing someone from one social circle effortlessly into another (where both parties benefit), this is when you become regarded with some awe (I've experienced this and I always feel it's a bit undeserved but am also very conscious of how powerful this effect is and I feel it's undeserved less and less).

(06-04-2013 01:18 PM)Divorco Wrote:  

(06-04-2013 11:03 AM)el mechanico Wrote:  

If anyone has a question it may help me explain.

Some times they have so much shit to talk you have to wait until the smoke clears to ... just let it happen without grenading and deleting the number.

I probably mistitled this post by mentioning with social circle. My point is that women are not defensive within social circles and other situations (on vacation, shortage of men, etc.). In crowded situations (D.C. bars, online) they get approached a lot and automatically reject 90% of guys. But these are not rational rejections based on the guy's true quality. The women just have reflexive "bitch shields" because they are overwhelmed with pressure.

Some guys manage to nonchalantly avoid bad reactions. They casually talk with the women without triggering defensiveness and without entering the friend zone. In other words, they artificially get treated like "normal" guys who are already within the social circle. The question is how to bypass filters and get treated in a friendly, non-bitchy way.

I agree that the really great thing to take out of this post is not necessarily social circle game, but to be able to put people at ease at all times. If you can make people comfortable they will be way more receptive to giving you value.

When you can interact with a brand new person that you've never met before (or that you just vaguely know) in front of a girl and have her ask you how long you've known that person and they're stunned when you say that you've just met them, you're on the right track. When I achieve this it's so funny because girls I'm hanging out with think I just know everyone and I'm elevated above them. How many people do you know that are just comfortable and can shoot the shit with just about anyone they've just met?

The ability to be disarming is rare, so you should cultivate it hard. Charisma is powerful, opens doors that would otherwise be closed, and can allow you to drop women's defenses always. I'm still learning this but MAN is it powerful to be able to hold this frame. When people with fame or status can just talk about any topic (especially something really painful like a bad childhood or drug use/mistakes) most people are in awe because they can't fathom being unafraid of what people think or how people will react. They think these famous/high status people have more to lose by being so honest and revealing their true natures, but what they don't realize is that they come from a position of strength and they by and large created that position, it's not naturally occurring to act "normal" with people you don't know.