[vikjohn]

So my first post in this forum full of info. As context, I'm 35, recently separated and back in the game for only last couple months. I rate myself as 4/10 on looks, 7/10 on fitness and 9/10 on intelligence and probably 3/10 on Game. So a lot of scope to improve.

Now to the trends: In the last month or so, I've been out with over 15 evenings, and this is what I've observed:

1. If I am in a group, I almost always get the LEAST naughty/DTF or unavailable girl left with me by end of the night. Happened in Helsinki where I was eventually invited to an after party by four girls and two guys, but nothing happened! Happened in London and also in Singapore (yes, been travelling a lot last couple months.)
2. If with a single girl, I'm decent enough in the lounge/home setting to game and escalate, but if this girl has friends nearby or knows the lounge guys, I cannot get the kiss or further. Girls like to dance with me, hands on legs etc... solid eye contact too. But no further.
3. And the funniest of all, once I luckily picked a Ukrainian pole dancer from a club. We met for dinner on the weekend ($ mistake), then I brought her to my fantastic pad (one of the best in Singapore) and we start dancing etc. We're like rubbing each other all over the place and enjoying the view, but whenever I tried to kiss, she turned away saying she only kisses boyfriends. At my fourth attempt or so, she says "Are you a Casanova? I told you no kiss and you still keep on trying". I say I am a man, and may be I want to be Casanova, and try again but no luck!

Overall, out of 15 odd nights out in last two months, I've got mostly dances, rubs and only ONE notch (that was in NY though about two months ago.)

Obviously I need to change/improve my game. Suggestions from experts welcome. I can go in further details if needed.

[Virtus]

1. Be Attractive
2. Don't be Unattractive
3. Be Handsome

[vikjohn]

Thanks CH. I don't think I am ugly or smell bad or dress like an idiot. But would be keen to know what you mean by those three points in bit more detail.

(06-02-2013 09:42 AM)calihunter Wrote:  

1. Be Attractive
2. Don't be Unattractive
3. Be Handsome

[j r]

Sounds like these girls feel safe around you, but not all Tamar attracted. You could try a couple of approaches.

One approach would be to broadcast your intentions from the beginning. Let these girls know that you're not down to be their asexual buddy. You'll lose some of them up front, unfortunately probably the hottest ones, but the ones who do stick around will be more DTF.

If you're worried about losing the hottest ones, the other approach is to accept that you have to go indirect. Game other girls in their presence. Let them know that you're working other prospects. Work with push and pull. Let them see that your time and attention ate valuable and only go to girls who are giving you what you want.

[Brodiaga]

Singapore is close to Thailand, Indonesia the Philippines, Vietnam, and Cambodia. Go there and get laid. Should be much easier than spending money in some of the most expensive cities in the world competing against some of the most successful guys in the world who live in these cities.

[vikjohn]

Thanks JR. Yes, you read it right: they feel safe but not attracted to me.

I just came back from a lounge where I danced Salsa with three chicks I met first time - they were in different groups (but we all had one mutual friend who connected these groups). However, when I suggested to the hottest of them (7.5) to bounce to another place, the Monday morning excuse came up. By then, it was too late to go back to the less hotter ones (5s.)

I like your approach of broadcasting intentions from the beginning. That way, me being the 'friend' is out and anyway, I have too many female 'friends' that I don't need. So thanks!

(06-02-2013 12:47 PM)j r Wrote:  

Sounds like these girls feel safe around you, but not all Tamar attracted. You could try a couple of approaches.

One approach would be to broadcast your intentions from the beginning. Let these girls know that you're not down to be their asexual buddy. You'll lose some of them up front, unfortunately probably the hottest ones, but the ones who do stick around will be more DTF.

If you're worried about losing the hottest ones, the other approach is to accept that you have to go indirect. Game other girls in their presence. Let them know that you're working other prospects. Work with push and pull. Let them see that your time and attention ate valuable and only go to girls who are giving you what you want.

Edit: typo.

[vikjohn]

Agreed, but I do get boners on the weekdays too when I cannot go to BKK/JAK etc, though hopping to a bar is possible.

Weekends is another matter though and am looking fwd to my Jakarta trip in few weeks.

(06-02-2013 12:52 PM)Brodiaga Wrote:  

Singapore is close to Thailand, Indonesia the Philippines, Vietnam, and Cambodia. Go there and get laid. Should be much easier than spending money in some of the most expensive cities in the world competing against some of the most successful guys in the world who live in these cities.

[JayD]

Break down exactly what happened and what you said.

[XXL]

i suppose that the pattern is.. you talk to a girl. she's receptive so it looks like it's going 'well'. but in fact she's classic yellow light: unavailable girl who still enjoys your game a lot and prolongs the "no" as much as she can to keep the fun alive until you cross her personal line and bye bye. don't get fooled by those good reactions. find out what's what.

SCREEN FOR LOGISTICS
- ask her where she's from/where lives/where she is staying that night [those are typical formality type questions so you can ask quick]
- ask about her duties next day [trick her saying "someone's going to slacking off at work with that hangover tomorrow haha", she's likely to instantly reveal the truth]
- befriend her group

SCREEN FOR AVAILABILITY
- trick her, point at some random chump near you and tell her "omg your bf is watching us". if done right she'll quickly reveal the truth without even thinking like knee jerk reaction [do it in first 1-2 minutes]
- trick her friends, tell them "we're in love we're having honeymoon tonight, is that ok with you?". if done right they'll quickly tell about bf without thinking like knee jerk reaction [do it in first 1-2 minutes].
- pay attention how much she drinks that night
- touch sexual topics in spontaneous funny manner just to check how she reacts
- lead her around the venue even for no real reason and see if she follows
- don't kiss or molest unless you know you can pull her shortly afterwards. keep sexual tension alive. just tease and say "not here".

do this in every one of 5-10 interactions. make it come across as spontaneous part of your flirt/fun, not like procedural interview. assess the chances and pick the most available girl. stick with her. leave together at the end of the night. pull to your place or crash at hers.

[Sp5]

(06-02-2013 12:52 PM)Brodiaga Wrote:  

Singapore is close to Thailand, Indonesia the Philippines, Vietnam, and Cambodia. Go there and get laid. Should be much easier than spending money in some of the most expensive cities in the world competing against some of the most successful guys in the world who live in these cities.

Yes, Batam is only a 30 minute ferry ride away. Go to the NoName at the Harmoni Hotel, Sullivan's Rock Music Club or most importantly, one of the malls and make approaches. You should do pretty well.

[Virtus]

(06-02-2013 11:51 AM)vikjohn Wrote:  

Thanks CH. I don't think I am ugly or smell bad or dress like an idiot. But would be keen to know what you mean by those three points in bit more detail.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/295600

[vikjohn]

So breakdown: I go out with a couple of friends and we meet two other groups, all connected by one common friend. My friends (two girls, one guy) happy from the dinner I hosted send some free drinks my way, which others notice (the lounge/bar we're in has $30+ dirties). After about 10 mins of random chat, I literally pull one of the girls for a dance. Then this Italian guys asks his Italian wife to dance with me (I thought that was weird), and then I ask another girl before finally asking the hottest girl in our group for a dance. She agrees and we dance for two songs. During which I move her around like a puppet and she's laughing at this all around. I tell her how her hair smells so nice, and how thin she is. She thought I was making fun of her, and says something like- thin bones, sorry, that's how I was born. However, rather than not saying anything, I make mistake of saying: I was saying that I like you're thin. I like thin people." Game mistake?

We dance some more on an English song, I get her to bend down on my leg and almost kiss her neck. Am sure she felt me then. She gets up, moves around a bit, and as soon as the song finishes, says she needs a drink. I go with her, she pays for her drink, while I pay for mine and my male guest's drink. And in these few mins, she has turned cold and all I see is she being swooped away home by her friends. I intervene "hey, now that you had your drink, last dance before we leave", but too late. F***! And that's that.

(06-03-2013 12:43 AM)JayD Wrote:  

Break down exactly what happened and what you said.

[vikjohn]

Thanks XXL.

(06-03-2013 03:44 AM)XXL Wrote:  

i suppose that the pattern is.. you talk to a girl. she's receptive so it looks like it's going 'well'. but in fact she's classic yellow light: unavailable girl who still enjoys your game a lot and prolongs the "no" as much as she can to keep the fun alive until you cross her personal line and bye bye. don't get fooled by those good reactions. find out what's what.

SCREEN FOR LOGISTICS
- ask her where she's from/where lives/where she is staying that night [those are typical formality type questions so you can ask quick]
- ask about her duties next day [trick her saying "someone's going to slacking off at work with that hangover tomorrow haha", she's likely to instantly reveal the truth]
- befriend her group

SCREEN FOR AVAILABILITY
- trick her, point at some random chump near you and tell her "omg your bf is watching us". if done right she'll quickly reveal the truth without even thinking like knee jerk reaction [do it in first 1-2 minutes]

This is Golden! Thanks.

(06-03-2013 03:44 AM)XXL Wrote:  

- trick her friends, tell them "we're in love we're having honeymoon tonight, is that ok with you?". if done right they'll quickly tell about bf without thinking like knee jerk reaction [do it in first 1-2 minutes].

I'm usually better when alone with a girl, but this would be a good way to try when she's not alone.

(06-03-2013 03:44 AM)XXL Wrote:  

- pay attention how much she drinks that night
- touch sexual topics in spontaneous funny manner just to check how she reacts
- lead her around the venue even for no real reason and see if she follows

The last point you make is actually very good. A couple of girls tried to make me follow them a few nights but I refused. And they were more receptive when I 'ran into them" later on.

(06-03-2013 03:44 AM)XXL Wrote:  

- don't kiss or molest unless you know you can pull her shortly afterwards. keep sexual tension alive. just tease and say "not here".

I actually think that I leave it too late for the sexual attraction/pushing the boundary and that's why end up becoming the 'asexual buddy'. Fine line to balance, any suggestions on how to actually do it?

[JayD]

This is what I gathered from the breakdown and why it failed:

No sexual tension
Chasing too hard
Complimenting straight out
Not leading
Didn't close

[vikjohn]

(06-03-2013 10:27 AM)calihunter Wrote:  

(06-02-2013 11:51 AM)vikjohn Wrote:  

Thanks CH. I don't think I am ugly or smell bad or dress like an idiot. But would be keen to know what you mean by those three points in bit more detail.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/295600

Can't watch this video in SG!

[XXL]

(06-03-2013 11:19 AM)vikjohn Wrote:  

(06-03-2013 03:44 AM)XXL Wrote:  

- don't kiss or molest unless you know you can pull her shortly afterwards. keep sexual tension alive. just tease and say "not here".

I actually think that I leave it too late for the sexual attraction/pushing the boundary and that's why end up becoming the 'asexual buddy'. Fine line to balance, any suggestions on how to actually do it?

- basic physicality lets her know more directly your intentions.
- sexual vibe lets her know indirectly. which to me is more like creating some tension in the air by having longer deeper eye contact. standing closer to each other. smelling each other. glancing at lips. having some silent moments when you just stare at each other imagining things. some sexy devilish smiles. the girl will know. damn, the proper eye contact alone conveys A LOT OF interest.

[Virtus]

https://www.google.com/search?q=Saturday...ssment+and