Over the years, the happiness has been a topic that has repeatedly arisen in Roosh's posts and in forum threads. Examples:
http://www.rooshv.com/is-it-foolhardy-to...-happiness
http://www.rooshv.com/the-argument-again...-happiness
http://www.rooshv.com/one-thing-you-need...-happiness
http://www.rooshv.com/happiness
The manosphere is a wonderful tool for helping you design your lifestyle and achieving your goals. However, as Roosh found out, happiness is something you can adapt to. It's something I've experienced as well. I was a clueless orbiting beta when I was younger. When I look back, I was actually quite happy orbiting a girl.. it was the only thing I knew how to do at the time and I did it to the best of my ability and accepted what I got. Now that I bang girls, I can take it or leave it. I wasn't really any more or less happy than I am now after understanding how to meet women, traveling the world and achieving some major life goals.
Anthony Robbins emphasizes asking the right questions. The question I wanted to answer is: "Is there way to consistently increase my baseline level of happiness." It took a few years to work this out, but my answer is a definitive YES.
I never fell into the American consumerist trap to begin with. I had achieved what I consider success in each of these areas:
Health - good health, not overweight, fixed some major health problems
Relationships - good relationship with family and a wonderful, nurturing circle of friends,
Passions - passions that I continually work on (dancing, language, world travel),
Growth – growing as a person and supporting others within my circle with their growth
Contribution – to my company, to my city, building affordable housing, etc.
I was generally content, happy, and not mired in the misery of being in debt like many Americans. Although I had my life generally in check, I couldn’t help but feel for my fellow Americans. Based on what I was reading in the news and on the internet, Americans are generally an unhappy and highly medicated bunch, despite having all their basic survival needs met (food, clothing, shelter), and are living lives of luxury relative to many in the third world.
All this was great and I’m sure things would have been fine if I had just focused solely on my life, continued maintaining the momentum I had built, and continued to grow incrementally in each of those areas mentioned above. However, I kept thinking to myself and wondering if there was more to life. These were the questions that kept popping up in my head: Is this all there is to life? What is the meaning of life? Is it possible to be happier? Is it possible to be significantly happier than I already am now? Why are Americans so unhappy and miserable? Is there something I am missing here, that most of us are missing here, which is preventing us from being happy?
With these questions in mind, I continued searching for how to become happier. I think it's obvious by now that happiness does not come from having more “stuff.” After having traveled the world and seeing that many poor people in the third world are generally happier and more content than most Americans, I came to the conclusion that happiness probably does not depend on external conditions. Prosperity for all Americans, as measured by GDP per capita, has increased massively for the past 100 years, yet I can’t say that there are generally happy people everywhere I go in America. Survival needs are almost completely met. No one in the U.S. dies from starvation. So, after ruling out “stuff” and external conditions – the physical aspects of life, the only thing that’s left, are the mental aspects. So, I began to investigate the mind’s role in happiness.
What I discovered was profound, and like minimalism a few years ago, is not at all a part of mainstream consciousness. I’ll call it mental minimalism. I am not the first one to write about it, I did not discover it, and this knowledge has been around for a very long time, but seems to have been missed almost entirely by the USA (and other Western countries). I am attempting it to package it into a form which will be easily digestible and accessible to secular readers, and sidestepping the spiritual/religious dimensions entirely. I chose to do it in this manner because I don’t remember seeing this information presented in this form. It’s present in a lot of religious texts, but the moment I bring that up, I find that a switch goes off in most people’s brains, which makes them unreceptive to the information. The subject is vast, so I’ll give one specific example which will probably be digestible by most of the readers of this site.
Mental Minimalism
Happiness depends on the mind, and more specifically, the mind’s focus and reaction to situations. At any given moment, a person is either happy, or they're not happy. This is based on what emotion they are feeling and focusing on. Happy and positive emotions include joy, gratefulness, love, abundance, etc (bigger list here: http://lightisreal.com/positiveemotionlist.html)
If a person is angry or is focusing on any other kind of negative emotion (annoyed, frustrated, etc.), they are not happy. If a person is not feeling a strong negative emotion, or is somewhat neutral, indifferent, bored, or not really feeling much of anything, they are also not happy. Happiness is obvious. We all have an understanding of what it is, and what it is not.
You cannot be feeling both negative emotions and experience happiness at the same time. You also cannot be feeling indifferent and happy at the same time. You are happy, or you are not. There is no middle ground. Since happiness is a state of mind, and states of mind vary along the spectrum of emotions (very negative to very positive), then to increase your happiness, what you need to do, is to spend more time in the happy/positive zone, and less time in the negative zone. Logically, this makes sense.
one definition of minimalism - focus on the important stuff in life while shedding the excess crap that get in the way.
Mental minimalism – focusing on the important stuff (happiness, contentment, positive emotions), while shedding the crappy mental states that get in the way. This increases your quality of life by spending more time being happy, and less time being unhappy.
How, specifically, should one go about spending more time in the happy/positive zone, and less time in the neutral/negative zone?
STEPS TO TAKE:
STEP 1: Identify a single negative emotion which arises frequently and normally as you go about your day. From what I’ve noticed, negative emotions usually arise in people whenever they have to wait longer than expected to get to a destination. Traffic jams, malfunctioning escalators and elevators would be good examples. Other good examples would involve anytime waiting is involved – on lines at the supermarket or post office, when the internet connection is unusually slow or goes out, etc. The negative emotions which arise in these cases, can include: frustration, anger, impatience, annoyance, worry, anxiety, etc. Once this negative emotion and the situation which causes it are identified, move on to step 2.
STEP 2: With the negative emotion and situation which caused it to arise in mind, ask yourself: does this negative emotional response to the situation which caused it, somehow make the situation better? Really, take the time to analyze and think about it. I’ll do it with the example I listed above. Does the feelings of anger, impatience, annoyance, worry, anxiety, etc., help make the traffic jam go away faster or clear the accident up the road? Will they help make the escalator or elevator start functioning again? Will they help this mass of people in front of me move up the non functional escalator any faster? Do these negative emotions make the postal clerks work faster? Does it magically restore my internet connection to normal? In every case, the answer is no. Logically, we have shown that these negative emotions do not make the situation any better. We have these negative emotions which are not helping, do not contribute to our happiness, and which make us feel miserable. Once you are convinced, go to step 3 where we analyze the nature of emotions.
STEP 3: The nature of emotions – emotions are simply the mind’s response to situations. In the examples above, I’ve discussed how emotions (usually negative) can arise as a response to unwanted situations which require a person to wait (traffic jams, waiting in line, etc.). When desired and beneficial situations arise, the emotions which arise in response, are usually positive. For example, most people will react with a smile and feel happy/grateful/joyful/lucky/satisfied/pleased from finding money, getting out of work early, getting a job offer, and other generally desired outcomes.
These emotions (positive or negative), arise so fast, that few people ever stop to think about them. The mental response happens almost instantaneously. Traffic jam ahead? Ugh! Anger and frustration. Money on the ground? Wow! Happiness and gratefulness. No thought involved, it just happens.
Here is the big secret, which seems to have been missed in most of the Western world, and is the key to all of this –EMOTIONS (positive or negative), ARE CHOICES. They are choices made by the mind in response to situations. THEY ARE NOT CAUSED BY THE SITUATIONS THEMSELVES. Most of us don’t notice this, and because emotions arise so fast, we believe that the emotions are caused by the situations themselves. This is incorrect. In each and every case, with all emotions that are felt, it is a choice by the mind on how to respond.
Let’s evaluate this further. This is very important. I completely missed this critical distinction for most of my life, and did not understand it until I was in my late 20s. I would suspect that most people would be in the same boat. Using an example from above – I could be perfectly happy listening to music driving my car on the highway on a beautiful spring day, when I see a traffic jam ahead. The happiness vanishes, and is replaced with feelings of anger and frustration. I never stopped to think about it. The happiness went away almost instantly and the negativity arose so quickly, it seemed obvious that the traffic jam was the cause of my emotions (anger and frustration).
I’ve already discussed how to become happier – by spending more time being happy, and less time being unhappy. Now, let’s revisit step 2 – where we’ve already determined logically that negative emotions do not help improve the situation, and make us feel miserable. So, what can we do about the situation? We go to step 4 – choose to focus on positive things which make you happy.
STEP 4: Focus instead on something positive which makes you happy. The subject of thought that you choose does not have to be logically connected to the situation at hand, though it can be. Using the traffic jam example once again, we can choose to remind ourselves about what we are fortunate for – a home to live in, adequate food, friends, family, good health, etc. You can amplify the feeling of being fortunate by thinking how much worse things would be if you lacked these areas in your life. Another super easy way to focus on something positive, is to think of anything at all which makes you happy – a friend or family member, a television show, a favorite song, delicious food, etc. With these positive emotions in hand (or head), let’s go back to our traffic jam.
Think about yourself in the traffic jam again, but while focusing on the positive thing you have chose to make you happy. What do we have here? If you’re doing it right, you are simultaneously focusing on something which made you unhappy (traffic jam), but are happily thinking of and focusing on something which brings you great joy. You can picture yourself being happy in that unwanted situation, as opposed to angry/frustrated.
So, what does this demonstrate? It demonstrates that the emotions you experience, depend on what the mind focuses on and that the emotions are not caused by the situations themselves, but by your mind’s reaction to them. If emotions were directly caused by the situations (as opposed to chosen by the mind), then you would have no choice but to feel negative emotions whenever the situation (traffic jam) arises. I have just shown exactly how to feel happy while being in a traffic jam. This can apply to any negative situation and emotional combination you have selected in Step 1.
If you’ve made it this far, the 4 steps demonstrate that you can CHOOSE what your mind focuses on. Because we fail to realize this and to consciously direct our thoughts in the manner outlined above, we are thrown about like a leaf in a hurricane, believing that we have no choice over what we feel, and are tossed about by the situations which arise as we go through life, feeling helpless while ignorant of the fact that we are making poor mental choices.
This is mindfulness in a nutshell – being aware that there is a choice, and making that choice to direct our mind where we want it to go.
STEP 5: Keep working at it. Repeat steps 1-4 as long as necessary, which are intended to make you aware of what goes on with the mind. Awareness that there is a choice that can be made, is half the battle. We’ve identified normal situations which arise in daily life, which have previously caused you to experience unhappiness/negativity (Step 1). We understand that this negativity does not help us (Step 2). We anticipate the negative response, and when the situation does arise, we remind ourselves that there is a choice (Step 3). Finally, we focus on something positive instead, and hold it as long as possible (Step 4).
As with developing anything meaningful, this is a process that does not happen overnight. Do not beat yourself up. Take it slowly, and be OK with not being perfect as you go through the process. As your start out, often times you will forget about this whole process altogether. That’s OK. When you do remember, do your best. I used to have a long commute every morning in NYC’s rush hour traffic. Every morning, I was angry, frustrated, and annoyed. The mental choice to be unhappy was a choice that I had made for a very long time, so it took some time to re-condition myself. After a while, the process becomes automatic, and something magical happens internally. Whenever I am in a traffic jam, I no longer feel angry, frustrated, or annoyed at all. In fact, the opposite occurs. The traffic jam becomes an opportunity for growth, where I automatically focus on the positive aspects of my life. The goal of increasing happiness was achieved - I am spending more time in the happy zone, and less time in the unhappy zone.
Using the exact technique outlined above, I changed my life. For a long time, I worked on boredom, which I used to feel whenever waiting was required. Now, I no longer get bored. I have almost successfully eradicated it from my mind. Occasionally, it arises for a brief instant, but I swat it away right away, and focus on being happy again. This is happiness training. The exercises are used to strengthen your mental happiness muscles, much like how a person can increase their physical strength by going to the gym and lifting weights.
The 5-step process described above can be applied to any situation which causes negativity and unhappiness to arise within you. You have a choice. Now, choose to be happy.
A Final Note: I could go on and on about this topic but I wanted to write on final note on what not to do and how failure to direct you mind can lead to disastrous results. From what I have been able to determine based on observation, many people unconsciously train in this manner but instead focus on the negative, often with disastrous results to their overall quality of life. Think of Big Red the Angry Feminist: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvYyGTmcP80. She is failing at life. A secretary at my office is another example. She is a secretary. It is her job to answer the phones for 9 hours a day. She has been doing it for longer than I have been alive. Somewhere along the way, whether she was conscious of the decision or not, she (or her mind) made the decision to associate the ring of an incoming phone call to our office with feelings of frustration and anger, and would respond with remarks such as: "Oh not again!" and "DAMMIT". And so, for up to a few hundred times a day, 9 hours a day, 5 days a week, year after year, she experiences unhappiness. The ring of a phone sets off a mental unhappiness trigger which makes her unhappy. Using the technique above would be of benefit to her, and with every ring of the phone, she could be reminded instead of how wonderful it is to be continually employed for decades, having all her material needs met, etc. Don't be like these people.
http://www.rooshv.com/is-it-foolhardy-to...-happiness
http://www.rooshv.com/the-argument-again...-happiness
http://www.rooshv.com/one-thing-you-need...-happiness
http://www.rooshv.com/happiness
The manosphere is a wonderful tool for helping you design your lifestyle and achieving your goals. However, as Roosh found out, happiness is something you can adapt to. It's something I've experienced as well. I was a clueless orbiting beta when I was younger. When I look back, I was actually quite happy orbiting a girl.. it was the only thing I knew how to do at the time and I did it to the best of my ability and accepted what I got. Now that I bang girls, I can take it or leave it. I wasn't really any more or less happy than I am now after understanding how to meet women, traveling the world and achieving some major life goals.
Anthony Robbins emphasizes asking the right questions. The question I wanted to answer is: "Is there way to consistently increase my baseline level of happiness." It took a few years to work this out, but my answer is a definitive YES.
I never fell into the American consumerist trap to begin with. I had achieved what I consider success in each of these areas:
Health - good health, not overweight, fixed some major health problems
Relationships - good relationship with family and a wonderful, nurturing circle of friends,
Passions - passions that I continually work on (dancing, language, world travel),
Growth – growing as a person and supporting others within my circle with their growth
Contribution – to my company, to my city, building affordable housing, etc.
I was generally content, happy, and not mired in the misery of being in debt like many Americans. Although I had my life generally in check, I couldn’t help but feel for my fellow Americans. Based on what I was reading in the news and on the internet, Americans are generally an unhappy and highly medicated bunch, despite having all their basic survival needs met (food, clothing, shelter), and are living lives of luxury relative to many in the third world.
All this was great and I’m sure things would have been fine if I had just focused solely on my life, continued maintaining the momentum I had built, and continued to grow incrementally in each of those areas mentioned above. However, I kept thinking to myself and wondering if there was more to life. These were the questions that kept popping up in my head: Is this all there is to life? What is the meaning of life? Is it possible to be happier? Is it possible to be significantly happier than I already am now? Why are Americans so unhappy and miserable? Is there something I am missing here, that most of us are missing here, which is preventing us from being happy?
With these questions in mind, I continued searching for how to become happier. I think it's obvious by now that happiness does not come from having more “stuff.” After having traveled the world and seeing that many poor people in the third world are generally happier and more content than most Americans, I came to the conclusion that happiness probably does not depend on external conditions. Prosperity for all Americans, as measured by GDP per capita, has increased massively for the past 100 years, yet I can’t say that there are generally happy people everywhere I go in America. Survival needs are almost completely met. No one in the U.S. dies from starvation. So, after ruling out “stuff” and external conditions – the physical aspects of life, the only thing that’s left, are the mental aspects. So, I began to investigate the mind’s role in happiness.
What I discovered was profound, and like minimalism a few years ago, is not at all a part of mainstream consciousness. I’ll call it mental minimalism. I am not the first one to write about it, I did not discover it, and this knowledge has been around for a very long time, but seems to have been missed almost entirely by the USA (and other Western countries). I am attempting it to package it into a form which will be easily digestible and accessible to secular readers, and sidestepping the spiritual/religious dimensions entirely. I chose to do it in this manner because I don’t remember seeing this information presented in this form. It’s present in a lot of religious texts, but the moment I bring that up, I find that a switch goes off in most people’s brains, which makes them unreceptive to the information. The subject is vast, so I’ll give one specific example which will probably be digestible by most of the readers of this site.
Mental Minimalism
Happiness depends on the mind, and more specifically, the mind’s focus and reaction to situations. At any given moment, a person is either happy, or they're not happy. This is based on what emotion they are feeling and focusing on. Happy and positive emotions include joy, gratefulness, love, abundance, etc (bigger list here: http://lightisreal.com/positiveemotionlist.html)
If a person is angry or is focusing on any other kind of negative emotion (annoyed, frustrated, etc.), they are not happy. If a person is not feeling a strong negative emotion, or is somewhat neutral, indifferent, bored, or not really feeling much of anything, they are also not happy. Happiness is obvious. We all have an understanding of what it is, and what it is not.
You cannot be feeling both negative emotions and experience happiness at the same time. You also cannot be feeling indifferent and happy at the same time. You are happy, or you are not. There is no middle ground. Since happiness is a state of mind, and states of mind vary along the spectrum of emotions (very negative to very positive), then to increase your happiness, what you need to do, is to spend more time in the happy/positive zone, and less time in the negative zone. Logically, this makes sense.
one definition of minimalism - focus on the important stuff in life while shedding the excess crap that get in the way.
Mental minimalism – focusing on the important stuff (happiness, contentment, positive emotions), while shedding the crappy mental states that get in the way. This increases your quality of life by spending more time being happy, and less time being unhappy.
How, specifically, should one go about spending more time in the happy/positive zone, and less time in the neutral/negative zone?
STEPS TO TAKE:
STEP 1: Identify a single negative emotion which arises frequently and normally as you go about your day. From what I’ve noticed, negative emotions usually arise in people whenever they have to wait longer than expected to get to a destination. Traffic jams, malfunctioning escalators and elevators would be good examples. Other good examples would involve anytime waiting is involved – on lines at the supermarket or post office, when the internet connection is unusually slow or goes out, etc. The negative emotions which arise in these cases, can include: frustration, anger, impatience, annoyance, worry, anxiety, etc. Once this negative emotion and the situation which causes it are identified, move on to step 2.
STEP 2: With the negative emotion and situation which caused it to arise in mind, ask yourself: does this negative emotional response to the situation which caused it, somehow make the situation better? Really, take the time to analyze and think about it. I’ll do it with the example I listed above. Does the feelings of anger, impatience, annoyance, worry, anxiety, etc., help make the traffic jam go away faster or clear the accident up the road? Will they help make the escalator or elevator start functioning again? Will they help this mass of people in front of me move up the non functional escalator any faster? Do these negative emotions make the postal clerks work faster? Does it magically restore my internet connection to normal? In every case, the answer is no. Logically, we have shown that these negative emotions do not make the situation any better. We have these negative emotions which are not helping, do not contribute to our happiness, and which make us feel miserable. Once you are convinced, go to step 3 where we analyze the nature of emotions.
STEP 3: The nature of emotions – emotions are simply the mind’s response to situations. In the examples above, I’ve discussed how emotions (usually negative) can arise as a response to unwanted situations which require a person to wait (traffic jams, waiting in line, etc.). When desired and beneficial situations arise, the emotions which arise in response, are usually positive. For example, most people will react with a smile and feel happy/grateful/joyful/lucky/satisfied/pleased from finding money, getting out of work early, getting a job offer, and other generally desired outcomes.
These emotions (positive or negative), arise so fast, that few people ever stop to think about them. The mental response happens almost instantaneously. Traffic jam ahead? Ugh! Anger and frustration. Money on the ground? Wow! Happiness and gratefulness. No thought involved, it just happens.
Here is the big secret, which seems to have been missed in most of the Western world, and is the key to all of this –EMOTIONS (positive or negative), ARE CHOICES. They are choices made by the mind in response to situations. THEY ARE NOT CAUSED BY THE SITUATIONS THEMSELVES. Most of us don’t notice this, and because emotions arise so fast, we believe that the emotions are caused by the situations themselves. This is incorrect. In each and every case, with all emotions that are felt, it is a choice by the mind on how to respond.
Let’s evaluate this further. This is very important. I completely missed this critical distinction for most of my life, and did not understand it until I was in my late 20s. I would suspect that most people would be in the same boat. Using an example from above – I could be perfectly happy listening to music driving my car on the highway on a beautiful spring day, when I see a traffic jam ahead. The happiness vanishes, and is replaced with feelings of anger and frustration. I never stopped to think about it. The happiness went away almost instantly and the negativity arose so quickly, it seemed obvious that the traffic jam was the cause of my emotions (anger and frustration).
I’ve already discussed how to become happier – by spending more time being happy, and less time being unhappy. Now, let’s revisit step 2 – where we’ve already determined logically that negative emotions do not help improve the situation, and make us feel miserable. So, what can we do about the situation? We go to step 4 – choose to focus on positive things which make you happy.
STEP 4: Focus instead on something positive which makes you happy. The subject of thought that you choose does not have to be logically connected to the situation at hand, though it can be. Using the traffic jam example once again, we can choose to remind ourselves about what we are fortunate for – a home to live in, adequate food, friends, family, good health, etc. You can amplify the feeling of being fortunate by thinking how much worse things would be if you lacked these areas in your life. Another super easy way to focus on something positive, is to think of anything at all which makes you happy – a friend or family member, a television show, a favorite song, delicious food, etc. With these positive emotions in hand (or head), let’s go back to our traffic jam.
Think about yourself in the traffic jam again, but while focusing on the positive thing you have chose to make you happy. What do we have here? If you’re doing it right, you are simultaneously focusing on something which made you unhappy (traffic jam), but are happily thinking of and focusing on something which brings you great joy. You can picture yourself being happy in that unwanted situation, as opposed to angry/frustrated.
So, what does this demonstrate? It demonstrates that the emotions you experience, depend on what the mind focuses on and that the emotions are not caused by the situations themselves, but by your mind’s reaction to them. If emotions were directly caused by the situations (as opposed to chosen by the mind), then you would have no choice but to feel negative emotions whenever the situation (traffic jam) arises. I have just shown exactly how to feel happy while being in a traffic jam. This can apply to any negative situation and emotional combination you have selected in Step 1.
If you’ve made it this far, the 4 steps demonstrate that you can CHOOSE what your mind focuses on. Because we fail to realize this and to consciously direct our thoughts in the manner outlined above, we are thrown about like a leaf in a hurricane, believing that we have no choice over what we feel, and are tossed about by the situations which arise as we go through life, feeling helpless while ignorant of the fact that we are making poor mental choices.
This is mindfulness in a nutshell – being aware that there is a choice, and making that choice to direct our mind where we want it to go.
STEP 5: Keep working at it. Repeat steps 1-4 as long as necessary, which are intended to make you aware of what goes on with the mind. Awareness that there is a choice that can be made, is half the battle. We’ve identified normal situations which arise in daily life, which have previously caused you to experience unhappiness/negativity (Step 1). We understand that this negativity does not help us (Step 2). We anticipate the negative response, and when the situation does arise, we remind ourselves that there is a choice (Step 3). Finally, we focus on something positive instead, and hold it as long as possible (Step 4).
As with developing anything meaningful, this is a process that does not happen overnight. Do not beat yourself up. Take it slowly, and be OK with not being perfect as you go through the process. As your start out, often times you will forget about this whole process altogether. That’s OK. When you do remember, do your best. I used to have a long commute every morning in NYC’s rush hour traffic. Every morning, I was angry, frustrated, and annoyed. The mental choice to be unhappy was a choice that I had made for a very long time, so it took some time to re-condition myself. After a while, the process becomes automatic, and something magical happens internally. Whenever I am in a traffic jam, I no longer feel angry, frustrated, or annoyed at all. In fact, the opposite occurs. The traffic jam becomes an opportunity for growth, where I automatically focus on the positive aspects of my life. The goal of increasing happiness was achieved - I am spending more time in the happy zone, and less time in the unhappy zone.
Using the exact technique outlined above, I changed my life. For a long time, I worked on boredom, which I used to feel whenever waiting was required. Now, I no longer get bored. I have almost successfully eradicated it from my mind. Occasionally, it arises for a brief instant, but I swat it away right away, and focus on being happy again. This is happiness training. The exercises are used to strengthen your mental happiness muscles, much like how a person can increase their physical strength by going to the gym and lifting weights.
The 5-step process described above can be applied to any situation which causes negativity and unhappiness to arise within you. You have a choice. Now, choose to be happy.
A Final Note: I could go on and on about this topic but I wanted to write on final note on what not to do and how failure to direct you mind can lead to disastrous results. From what I have been able to determine based on observation, many people unconsciously train in this manner but instead focus on the negative, often with disastrous results to their overall quality of life. Think of Big Red the Angry Feminist: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvYyGTmcP80. She is failing at life. A secretary at my office is another example. She is a secretary. It is her job to answer the phones for 9 hours a day. She has been doing it for longer than I have been alive. Somewhere along the way, whether she was conscious of the decision or not, she (or her mind) made the decision to associate the ring of an incoming phone call to our office with feelings of frustration and anger, and would respond with remarks such as: "Oh not again!" and "DAMMIT". And so, for up to a few hundred times a day, 9 hours a day, 5 days a week, year after year, she experiences unhappiness. The ring of a phone sets off a mental unhappiness trigger which makes her unhappy. Using the technique above would be of benefit to her, and with every ring of the phone, she could be reminded instead of how wonderful it is to be continually employed for decades, having all her material needs met, etc. Don't be like these people.
