[bacan]

Ended up on a date with a girl who obviously has pictures that are a couple years old and a couple pounds out of date. She wasn't a native english speaker and conversation with her was kind of stop and go; I couldn't really get into the same flow that I can get into with girls usually with laughs, stories, and so on.

Basically I was just bored and a few more drinks away from being attracted to her. An hour and 15 min into the thing, I just told her the next spot I wanted to go to was a bar right near my house (was quite a few metro stops away). She said she has to get up early the next day so she couldn't.

I tell her her "Aw, what a shame you have to wake up early. OK, next time."

So basically I think this is the best possible scenario -- better than either walking out on the date or hanging around to just try to get a notch, flag, or whatever.

I had other things to do than sit around in this bar after happy hour was over and sip on $7 drinks and try to see if I could get in her pants. Yet I didn't feel like telling her that she doesn't look like her pictures and just coldly walking out either.

I basically suggested, hey, you can metro to the other side of the city and get drunk next to my apartment if you want. That way if she says yes, it means she messaged me because she just hasn't been fucked in a while and is ready for something to just "happen" tonight; great, I have a new flag and bust a nut. If she says no, I get to frame the situation like her ending the date for having to wake up early; so she has to make it up to me next time for "ending" our date. I got the first date in the books and I'm sure her hamster has marked it in chalk on the wall of her brain so the next time I see her I'll be that much closer to a bang. If I see her again, I'll probably just ask her to cook me some food from her country at her apartment and fuck her there.

Basically, if you are on a date with a mediocre girl, you have nothing to lose just by suggesting hooking up quickly into the date. If she would have said yes, we would have had 1-2 drinks at the bar and then "hey let's get out of here" or "oh let me show that [referenced thing] that I [referenced earlier] at my apartment"

In my dream world I could just walk up to mediocre looking girls and be like "Hey, I'll never buy you a drink, take you on a date or let anyone I know see me with you, but if you just bend over right here I could be the hottest/coolest/sexiest guy you've ever fucked in your life and I get to have some sex -- win win scenario"

Since that is still a ways off from reality, this is the closest I'll get. When I'm on a date with a mediocre girl, I just shamelessly go for sex. One time I fucked a girl using this mindset that was not even hot enough to kiss, yet I managed to fuck her anyway without kissing her even once. Whether that is something to be proud of, ashamed of, or both is for you to judge. Personally I'm pretty content that I found a girl who let me stick my penis inside of her within a few hours of meeting her and without even kissing her lips.... although I wouldn't want any of you guys to know what she looks like. (lol)

Anyway, my standards have gone up since then; I'm not even convinced that I could fully get it up for this so-so looking girl tonight.. damn.

Oh well. Stuck out with a mediocre girl..? Go for sex or let her cut the date short and save your time. Moral of the story

[Gmac]

Quote:

"Aw, what a shame you have to wake up early. OK, next time."

Did this work on an actual girl? It doesn't sound like it.

Not a good line. If a girl tells you she has to get up early, in most cases she is looking for an excuse to break her own routine.

Better would have been something I've actually used that has worked:

"One drink then, my place is right around the corner and has better [whatever she was drinking]. And I'll still have you home in time for work."

This is a test.

If she into you she will comply, if she doesn't, she won't. Don't try to convince her a second time unless you end up at another bar after that and don't contact her again for a few days.

[bacan]

Did which thing work? I said that I was not feeling the girl or the date, so if she wanted to basically just give me easy sex I don't have to work for, then OK, otherwise I just freed up the rest of my night.

I think you misunderstood my post a bit. I basically was trying to end the date and make it seem like it was her decision to end it. I would have only continued hanging out with her if she wanted to just put out without me having to put in any work or even game.

The girl was no prize and I'm content with how the situation ended up ha.

[AneroidOcean]

I don't think you intended this post to solicit feedback, but I'm going to give you some anyway. First, I like the positivity you show.

(05-23-2013 03:21 AM)bacan Wrote:  

Ended up on a date with a girl who obviously has pictures that are a couple years old and a couple pounds out of date. She wasn't a native english speaker and conversation with her was kind of stop and go; I couldn't really get into the same flow that I can get into with girls usually with laughs, stories, and so on.

Basically I was just bored and a few more drinks away from being attracted to her. An hour and 15 min into the thing

Others may not agree, but you should've cut the date short as soon as you saw that she was older, heavier and not able to carry on a good conversation. A few drinks away from being attracted to her? Come on, your time would be better spent immediately leaving and gaming elsewhere or going back to find better future date options online.

(05-23-2013 03:21 AM)bacan Wrote:  

I just told her the next spot I wanted to go to was a bar right near my house (was quite a few metro stops away). She said she has to get up early the next day so she couldn't.

I tell her her "Aw, what a shame you have to wake up early. OK, next time."

So basically I think this is the best possible scenario -- better than either walking out on the date or hanging around to just try to get a notch, flag, or whatever.

I had other things to do than sit around in this bar after happy hour was over and sip on $7 drinks and try to see if I could get in her pants. Yet I didn't feel like telling her that she doesn't look like her pictures and just coldly walking out either.

Nope, the best possible scenario is giving her some socially acceptable reason (if you don't want to be "cold") to end the date and don't talk to her again. Just tell her you're not feeling that spark and move on. Be a man, don't waste your own time worrying about her or trying to get your dick wet on something that doesn't even pass your boner test.

(05-23-2013 03:21 AM)bacan Wrote:  

I basically suggested, hey, you can metro to the other side of the city and get drunk next to my apartment if you want. That way if she says yes, it means she messaged me because she just hasn't been fucked in a while and is ready for something to just "happen" tonight; great, I have a new flag and bust a nut. If she says no, I get to frame the situation like her ending the date for having to wake up early; so she has to make it up to me next time for "ending" our date. I got the first date in the books and I'm sure her hamster has marked it in chalk on the wall of her brain so the next time I see her I'll be that much closer to a bang. If I see her again, I'll probably just ask her to cook me some food from her country at her apartment and fuck her there.

It doesn't even sound like this girl was attracted to you enough to cook for you. You're not calibrating very well.

(05-23-2013 03:21 AM)bacan Wrote:  

Basically, if you are on a date with a mediocre girl, you have nothing to lose just by suggesting hooking up quickly into the date. If she would have said yes, we would have had 1-2 drinks at the bar and then "hey let's get out of here" or "oh let me show that [referenced thing] that I [referenced earlier] at my apartment"

Yes, you don't have anything to lose, but I would cut the date short in the first place and not lose your valuable time.

(05-23-2013 03:21 AM)bacan Wrote:  

In my dream world I could just walk up to mediocre looking girls and be like "Hey, I'll never buy you a drink, take you on a date or let anyone I know see me with you, but if you just bend over right here I could be the hottest/coolest/sexiest guy you've ever fucked in your life and I get to have some sex -- win win scenario"

This is just incredibly beta and shortchanging yourself. In your dream world you can fuck mediocre looking girls?

(05-23-2013 03:21 AM)bacan Wrote:  

Since that is still a ways off from reality, this is the closest I'll get. When I'm on a date with a mediocre girl, I just shamelessly go for sex. One time I fucked a girl using this mindset that was not even hot enough to kiss, yet I managed to fuck her anyway without kissing her even once. Whether that is something to be proud of, ashamed of, or both is for you to judge. Personally I'm pretty content that I found a girl who let me stick my penis inside of her within a few hours of meeting her and without even kissing her lips.... although I wouldn't want any of you guys to know what she looks like. (lol)

Anyway, my standards have gone up since then; I'm not even convinced that I could fully get it up for this so-so looking girl tonight.. damn.

Oh well. Stuck out with a mediocre girl..? Go for sex or let her cut the date short and save your time. Moral of the story

So your success rate is once with this plan you have. Out of how many mediocre girls? You're on the wrong track here. Raise your game and raise your standards. The moral of the story here is calibrate and don't let girls (especially mediocre ones) waste your time.

[XXL]

(05-23-2013 03:21 AM)bacan Wrote:  

Basically I was just bored and a few more drinks away from being attracted to her. An hour and 15 min into the thing, I just told her the next spot I wanted to go to was a bar right near my house (was quite a few metro stops away). She said she has to get up early the next day so she couldn't.

I tell her her "Aw, what a shame you have to wake up early. OK, next time."

So basically I think this is the best possible scenario -- better than either walking out on the date or hanging around to just try to get a notch, flag, or whatever.

double fail. 1 - you had no sex. 2 - you voluntarily walked away from your interaction that could have taught you something and add another reference for your game repertoire in general. this is why some teach 'freedom from outcome' thing. to enjoy the the process of pickup instead of only stumbling fumbling and striving for good reactions.

(05-23-2013 03:21 AM)bacan Wrote:  

I had other things to do than sit around in this bar after happy hour was over and sip on $7 drinks and try to see if I could get in her pants. Yet I didn't feel like telling her that she doesn't look like her pictures and just coldly walking out either.

by 'trying' you get better.

(05-23-2013 03:21 AM)bacan Wrote:  

Basically, if you are on a date with a mediocre girl, you have nothing to lose just by suggesting hooking up quickly into the date. If she would have said yes, we would have had 1-2 drinks at the bar and then "hey let's get out of here" or "oh let me show that [referenced thing] that I [referenced earlier] at my apartment"

this is actually good opportunity to game a girl just for practice.

(05-23-2013 03:21 AM)bacan Wrote:  

Oh well. Stuck out with a mediocre girl..? Go for sex or let her cut the date short and save your time. Moral of the story

that way you'll never get better. game the fuck out of her to see how far you can go with your game and to get another reference experience that will pay off in the future.


general tip: if you just want to fuck asap then focus on hardcore screening on he approach instead of going on dates mediocre girls who you have no serious intentions of fucking. it's like.. what's the purpose of it? decide, either screen hard & play to win or practice to play to learn

[bacan]

(05-23-2013 12:33 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

Others may not agree, but you should've cut the date short as soon as you saw that she was older, heavier and not able to carry on a good conversation. A few drinks away from being attracted to her? Come on, your time would be better spent immediately leaving and gaming elsewhere or going back to find better future date options online.

...

Nope, the best possible scenario is giving her some socially acceptable reason (if you don't want to be "cold") to end the date and don't talk to her again. Just tell her you're not feeling that spark and move on. Be a man, don't waste your own time worrying about her or trying to get your dick wet on something that doesn't even pass your boner test.

...

It doesn't even sound like this girl was attracted to you enough to cook for you. You're not calibrating very well.

Yes, you don't have anything to lose, but I would cut the date short in the first place and not lose your valuable time.

Interesting feedback! How many guys have just straight up walked out on a date before? I mean I know we have some cold players on the forum, but this girl was friendly, bought her own drinks, was teaching me about a country I haven't been to, etc. and I don't really have the heart to just stone-cold ditch girls on a date. I thought this was a decent compromise -- basically the same thing as just telling her I have to go, except giving her the out to just follow me along all night like a puppy dog and eventually have some drunken sex. If a decent looking but not really that hot girl that I've already spent an hour+ with wants to spend another hour or two with me and have some sex, I don't mind.

I think we pretty much are on the same page except I think my way avoided hurting her feelings as I would I have with a transparently obvious excuse; it also kept the door open for a one night stand and another notch.

As for cooking, I didn't include it, but it was actually a topic of conversation on the date, she mentioned she'd cook for me and when I said bye to her we talked about doing that the next time we met up.

(05-23-2013 12:33 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(05-23-2013 03:21 AM)bacan Wrote:  

In my dream world I could just walk up to mediocre looking girls and be like "Hey, I'll never buy you a drink, take you on a date or let anyone I know see me with you, but if you just bend over right here I could be the hottest/coolest/sexiest guy you've ever fucked in your life and I get to have some sex -- win win scenario"

This is just incredibly beta and shortchanging yourself. In your dream world you can fuck mediocre looking girls?
..

So your success rate is once with this plan you have. Out of how many mediocre girls? You're on the wrong track here. Raise your game and raise your standards. The moral of the story here is calibrate and don't let girls (especially mediocre ones) waste your time.

Haha come on man, don't take my post so seriously. My actual dream world would probably have more victoria's secret models and less mediocre girls, but I was just making the point that a lot more sex would be possible if girls just threw themselves at alpha males without worrying about the indignity of just being used as a sex-toy basically.

I do have high standards and the reason she probably turned me off so much was because the girl I fucked the night before was so hot in comparison.

I just thought this post was a decent compromise between just coldly getting up and leaving and wasting your time trying to get a mediocre notch. Thanks for the feedback.

[bacan]

(05-23-2013 01:23 PM)XXL Wrote:  

double fail. 1 - you had no sex. 2 - you voluntarily walked away from your interaction that could have taught you something and add another reference for your game repertoire in general. this is why some teach 'freedom from outcome' thing. to enjoy the the process of pickup instead of only stumbling fumbling and striving for good reactions.
...
that way you'll never get better. game the fuck out of her to see how far you can go with your game and to get another reference experience that will pay off in the future.

This wasn't a failure by any measure. Otherwise I wouldn't have posted it as a best practice that I will repeat in similar situations in the future.

I made a calculation that I only wanted to have sex with this girl if she was gonna be a complete lay-up, otherwise it wasn't worth my time, effort, money or energy.

I'm at the stage of my game where I'm trying to bed more 8's and 9's and had just been with a really hot girl the night before so I don't think I missed any learning opportunity. For me, ending a date early is actually a more novel experience than bagging another 5-6-7 type girl so I'm content. Plus, if less than super hot girls want to spend time with me, they should at least be fun to get drunk with. This girl was just all around not worth it. Funny how the two responses were polar opposites -- one says stick it out, game the fuck out of her til I get my dick wet, the other says just drop her with an excuse and forget it.

The whole point of this post is that making an obviously sexual / logistically beneficial suggestion for the next step of the date is a decent compromise between the two options.

[XXL]

(05-23-2013 02:54 PM)bacan Wrote:  

(05-23-2013 01:23 PM)XXL Wrote:  

double fail. 1 - you had no sex. 2 - you voluntarily walked away from your interaction that could have taught you something and add another reference for your game repertoire in general. this is why some teach 'freedom from outcome' thing. to enjoy the the process of pickup instead of only stumbling fumbling and striving for good reactions.
...
that way you'll never get better. game the fuck out of her to see how far you can go with your game and to get another reference experience that will pay off in the future.

This wasn't a failure by any measure. Otherwise I wouldn't have posted it as a best practice that I will repeat in similar situations in the future.

I made a calculation that I only wanted to have sex with this girl if she was gonna be a complete lay-up, otherwise it wasn't worth my time, effort, money or energy.

I'm at the stage of my game where I'm trying to bed more 8's and 9's and had just been with a really hot girl the night before so I don't think I missed any learning opportunity. For me, ending a date early is actually a more novel experience than bagging another 5-6-7 type girl so I'm content. Plus, if less than super hot girls want to spend time with me, they should at least be fun to get drunk with. This girl was just all around not worth it. Funny how the two responses were polar opposites -- one says stick it out, game the fuck out of her til I get my dick wet, the other says just drop her with an excuse and forget it.

if you really only wanted to have sex with this girl you would have figured out logistics / her obligations / obstacles stopping you both from going home together instead of screening for logistic on a date. going on that date was nothing but a lottery. and screening for logistics on a date is way too late. you came unprepared which is surprising since all you cared about was just sex asap.

that's why if the girl is not that appealing and theoretically nothing can happen then why not stay there and push the limit as far as it's possible and learn few new things? you can ditch her go home and beat yourself up that you didn't handle the logistics well or you can stay and make the most of it, just to learn. it's so obvious choice. bigger picture baby.

responses differ due to different attitudes. to me it's like.. unless i'm totally attracted then i use that time to game her as hard as i can just to learn and get another reference experience. no pimp self image involved. it's like, let's say i meet a girl in the club i can't see again and snl is impossible. some will say it's pointless to game her. bullshit. it's perfect learning experience to get another experience. that's how people get better and better. by getting experience. it never stops. there's no ceiling.

[bacan]

What would you have done differently though assuming that you had the same mindset as me and spending more time with her was not worth it unless it was a sure thing?

[XXL]

if i met a girl i'd only want to bang asap then i'd..
- screen HARD initially [to not waste time on another yellow light]
- establish it's "on"
- find out her logistics [dorm/house/roommates] and her address [to have an option to go on a date close to her place]
- find out about her everyday duties [work/school/courses/gym/etc] to know when to meet her [morning/evening/night] so that she has no obligations/excuses/deadlines [no more "i only have 2 hours" thing]
- come up with day and time and set up a date

basically, cover all the exits. figure out all distractions and meet with her when she can all yours and have no choice of 'escaping'. and be open minded. i had dates in the morning like 10am cause the girl wasn't prepared for her exams [she didn't go] so we met in her dorm room to make some silly breakfast hahaha

[bacan]

Ah yeah, I wasn't that serious about all that stuff, but you're right. This was just a meet-up downtown after work with a girl that I originally thought was gonna be worth seeing more than once.

Obviously I'm not saying overall my situation was ideal. I mean I wasted 1.5 hours with a plain girl. Maybe I could have avoided that negative situation with better screening, like you point out. All I'm saying is that once I found myself in that situation, I think it turned out fine. Besides, I don't even like fucking mediocre girls because I feel like a jerk when I don't want to see them again. Not as cold as some guys are on here for the pump and dump routine.