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Escalating with sexually insecure/conservative girls?
#1

Escalating with sexually insecure/conservative girls?

My general maxim with girls is 'make your intentions known' ... in other words, if your sexually interested in them, make that clear from the get go...

Even though the general advice on this forum is escalate as quickly as possible, I've noticed most of my hookups come on round two three, and not the first date. This is partially do to being a normal human being with a busy life, and partially living in a city that is somewhat small (150K).

I'm wondering about two points:

1) Is it really better to go for the kill on the first encounter/date, or should the goal here be to come off as interesting, cool, and physically attractive... and also aloof. Why give the girl the instant gratification of trying to hook up with her? Stepping back from full throttle and making the girl wonder how she came off, and then rewarding her a few days later with another invite to join your company.

2) Per topic of the thread.. how do handle girls that put out the conservative, sexually uptight vibe. I've found it true that even the most straight laced boring chicks are freaks when you get them in bed... but the process I'm pretty sure is different.

From my experience/knowledge of the world, there are girls out there that: a) haven't slept with that many guys. b) sleep with guys that on some level they imagine marryring/procreating with, and likewise may (but not always) be turned off by guys who give off a player type vibe/go for sex before the girl is emotionally there.

Thoughts?
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#2

Escalating with sexually insecure/conservative girls?

Couple things

1) Play it Cool or Move Quick?
- if playing it cool works for you, keep doing it. Most of us are dating chicks that punish caution and reward boldness. Could be the trait of a big city, where any minimally attractive chick has enough in person and online admirers that she can be choosy. So you have to manufacture a spark asap.

I recently lost a sure thing cause I couldn't capitalize fast enough, and I know this woulda been a truly dirty bitch with a heart of gold.

- On Aloofness - I will continue to fight against this ubiquitous Tall Dark Silent Stranger Game that people are promoting. This is a man's fantasy, the masculine hamster.

"I WILL SAY VERY LITTLE. WHAT I DO SAY WILL BE CONCISE AND PITHY. ALL WHORES SHALL KNEEL BEFORE ME"

Bitches reward you with pussy for acting like a hot chick. Bantering back and forth, back handed compliments, cold reads, outrageous statements, fashion sense, eating right, nice shoes, staying in shape, no visible means of financial support, living downtown... A chick wants to go out with a guy that's more socially savvy than she is. It's why they love gay dudes.

If holding down the bar with your Glenlivet Neat had chicks on their knees - those dorks on the wall would be swimming in women. They ain't.

2) Unthawing a frigid chick

a) sometimes it's not possible
b) she might be a Jesus freak or a virgin or a Muslim
c) she may open up after the first lay, she may not
d) some chicks will give you the sex, but not open up to you sexually. They just feel obligated to open their legs for you.

But with that said, if you're just getting into a chick, the keys that i've found

- she feels your physicality and strength.

You break the touch barrier asap as part of your first kino moves.

But she feels your physical strength as the night goes on, either by picking her up, dancing with her, leading through a crowd, letting her hold on to your bicep.

- you're also peppering her from the start with your attraction stuff.

My personal style is to talk on two levels. One is surface, the other is deep/subconscious. And I don't mean stupid double entendres or "that's what she said" type bs.

Consider a standard pg date, a trip to the Gelato spot.

After the touch barrier has been broken, maybe we've gotten to the point where she laughs and punches me in the arm, we get some scoops.

Bitches ALWAYS want to eat something off your plate. The shit will never end. Perhaps it sets a precedent for the rest of your relationship, but keep that in mind.

Now say she gets her boring ass dark chocolate or lame ass vanilla. You get some exotic shit, like Olive Oil or lavender or mango habanero sorbet.

Before I taste mine, (usually these bitches are slurping down on they shit as soon as they get it in their hands),

I look her dead in the eye, and say "Open".
Then I stick my sweetness into her mouth and let her savor it.

This is in the final stages before bedding a chick, but from here, you're aiming to get her to do things with her body at your command.

In the car, "Lean back"
Walking through the crowds,"hold on to me"
*smooth out her blouse, brushing her tits*
*put your hand in the small of her back and guide her when needed*
*put her feet up on your knees when you're sitting down*

^I treat chicks like i've been fucking em. Like that shit is a foregone conclusion. People from a distance see us as a couple already.

So by the time you're back at your crib, as she walks through the door, "take off your shoes.."

So the overall idea is that she's aware of your physical strength, and she's okay with you commanding her to do things.

The jury is still out on whether you should kiss her before you get to the sex location, or wait. I'm now leaning towards a no PDA on the 1st date policy. You want her passion to be first unleashed in the privacy of your spot, so that you can keep going. You want to take advantage of isolation and privacy.

WIA
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#3

Escalating with sexually insecure/conservative girls?

Be forward, not open. Thats the distinction.

If shes insecure, add in a few compliments (cliches are fine in this instance) when shes passing major boundaries. Operant Conditioning 101- reward her behavior w/positive incentive.

Compliments- ahh, look at that smile. So cute!
dimples... point at her cheek. pinch lightly*
"Sexy. Smack butt*"

Don't be dissapointed if her body isnt "perfect". Porn has ruined many a sexual relationship. I've had big tittied girls and small tittied girls. Don't be callous and act dissapointed when her shirt comes off. In a sense, I am saying don't nag/bring up things she CANT change (naturally).

WIA- For most of men, our time being masters of our own fate, kings in our own castles is short. Even those of us in the game will eventually succumb to ease of servitude rather than deal with the malaise of solitude
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#4

Escalating with sexually insecure/conservative girls?

Quote: (05-19-2013 11:22 PM)OlympusSquared Wrote:  

My general maxim with girls is 'make your intentions known' ... in other words, if your sexually interested in them, make that clear from the get go...

Even though the general advice on this forum is escalate as quickly as possible, I've noticed most of my hookups come on round two three, and not the first date. This is partially do to being a normal human being with a busy life, and partially living in a city that is somewhat small (150K).
expressing intentions is fine but with those shy/insecure girls there is a catch. instead of attracting them hard and trying to do superman level of performance the game is more about 1) getting them comfortable with you and open for seduction and 2) constant reassurance that they're ok and that everything is fine.


Quote: (05-19-2013 11:22 PM)OlympusSquared Wrote:  

1) Is it really better to go for the kill on the first encounter/date, or should the goal here be to come off as interesting, cool, and physically attractive... and also aloof. Why give the girl the instant gratification of trying to hook up with her? Stepping back from full throttle and making the girl wonder how she came off, and then rewarding her a few days later with another invite to join your company.
you can't be aloof with shy girls cause nothing will happen then. just lead and express a lot of empathy towards her..
- if i come across as too intense/confident just let me know it's the way i was raised
- don't worry we're adults we won't do anything we're not comfortable with
- i feel good around you
- i thing your shyness is cute i find it very attractive
- if you're nervous let me know i want you to have a good time with me
- etc


Quote: (05-19-2013 11:22 PM)OlympusSquared Wrote:  

2) Per topic of the thread.. how do handle girls that put out the conservative, sexually uptight vibe. I've found it true that even the most straight laced boring chicks are freaks when you get them in bed... but the process I'm pretty sure is different.

- express your standards. say 'slutty girls are such a turn off. i hate those. i love that you're not'. it makes her believe you don't fuck randoms and that she is not a random slut. it deepens the connection.

- make intimacy special. say 'i feel this incredible connection with you. i don't know what i'm doing'. when she asks why tell her 'i don't know its a feeling, don't you feel it?'

- object first. before you even end up in private place. say 'i don't sleep with girls on 1st date i can only kiss a bit, just so you know' and make pinky promise.

- get her hot by building sexual tension, not by escalating physically. so things like strong deep eye contact. listening instead of talking and looking at her in ambiguous way. speaking slow [do they call it "bedroom voice"?]. getting really close but not kissing. gentle touching almost like romantic caressing for example hands. creating silent moments when tension shoots through the roof. it should get her hot inside. keep doing that. she will resist by trying to break it but persist. play around with that until you notice she's losing it. 'i'm so lost in the moment with you'.

- future projections. tell her you want to hang out with her a lot in next following days/weeks [because of connection] when you will and go see xxx etc and make amazing love etc so you can making love now is no big
deal thing since you can see all the dates ahead of you.

- baby step it. escalate and still reassure that nothing will happen. kiss and say 'nothing more'. when she's get carried away with kissing be more passionate. start slowly undressing but still don't go all out. kiss her belly arms and say 'we shouldn't do it. you're so tasty'. then more smooching. then 'don't worry nothing will happen'. stuff like that. thing heating up water with frog in it. don't rush. 2 steps forward 1 step back

- lead. when she starts to go with the flow tell her what to do. tell her to kiss you now and here, to take off underwear, etc.
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