[OlympusSquared]

Hey guys, I had an unusual encounter with a girl this weekend that has set me back a bit, and I'd appreciate some input.

Basic story:

Met the girl for coffee last week. Quick cool conversation... usually first dates go well for me (about 3/4 end up in second dates).

I meet here for drinks a few days later, all goes well, and I invite her back to watch a movie. She seems enthusiastic about the idea.

She seems a bit uptight, sitting on the other side of the couch when we arrive. I end up escalating a little kino, which she doesn't resist, but informs me she 'doesn't want to go any farther tonight". Movie ends, I walk her out and close with a kiss that she doesn't resist, and seems to enjoy. Over all things seem to have went well for a second date, she seemed comfortable with me and as best I could tell had fun.

Two days later I get a text stating that she had fun, but as I alluded to, 'does not believe were are a good match'. I know this post sounds a bit lame, but it seemed like I did everything right, and also gave the girl plenty of time to bail if she wasn't feeling it.

Also, in general she seemed pretty uptight, esp sexually, so I'm wondering if perhaps I came on too strong. She was also younger (23, wheres I'm 27).

Any thoughts on this one? I kind of want to bang her more now that shes resisting a bit, but not sure if thats a possibility or how to spin the situation.

Thanks guys!

[Hotwheels]

booze

[OlympusSquared]

Yeah she drank half a beer while she was at my place... not a party girl type.

[Jaylow]

A kiss means nothing. You should have pushed further even though she said she didn't want you too. A "first date going well for you" should mean that you fucked her, not a 2nd date which is a consolidation prize.

You should have had a lot of kino before getting to your place, you have to give the vibe that your "just a touchy feely kind of guy". When she said she doesn't want to go any further what exactly were you doing at that time? You weren't kissing her and I assume you weren't touching tits/pussy. It sounds like you didn't physically escalate properly.

I am finding that if you give away your intention that you want to fuck her and then you dont actually fuck her that night, she gets really flaky and the likelyhood of not seeing you again increases a lot.

[thegmanifesto]

(05-08-2013 10:22 AM)OlympusSquared Wrote:  

She seems a bit uptight, sitting on the other side of the couch when we arrive.

You were cooked right here.

You didn't establish enough trust, comfort and rapport.

One has to hit The Six Elements of Picking Up Girls to swoop.

Or maybe she was just strange.

Either way, Next!

[OlympusSquared]

(05-08-2013 11:03 AM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

(05-08-2013 10:22 AM)OlympusSquared Wrote:  

She seems a bit uptight, sitting on the other side of the couch when we arrive.

You were cooked right here.

You didn't establish enough trust, comfort and rapport.

One has to hit The Six Elements of Picking Up Girls to swoop.

Or maybe she was just strange.

Either way, Next!

Good point. Here's the kicker, she had to drive a ways in the rain to get to my place, which I just casually invited her to 'stop by and watch a movie'.

I figured if she wasn't comfortable/trusting/attracted or what have you, she would could have easily found a reason not to come over...

Why would a girl come to your place if she was not wanting to get physical on any level? That has never happened to me, it always ends in at least a makeout session.

[RCron]

I had an extremely similar situation happen to me last week with a woman from OKC. Met at a bar, good convo, I escalated kino the entire time. We did a little make out at the bar and I invited her back to my place to look at pictures and have a drink. Touched her the whole time we were looking at pics and then when I put the laptop away she quickly said "I need to go now". I initiated another makeout and as soon as my hand moved to her breast she got up and left. The next day I get a text saying that she "doesn't like me romantically". It will fuck with your mind for sure.

On the positive side the date I had with a different woman later that night ended up with me pounding her pussy into oblivion and her complaining the next day how bruised her tits were and how she had trouble walking

[Hotwheels]

(05-08-2013 12:56 PM)RCron Wrote:  

Touched her the whole time we were looking at pics and then when I put the laptop away she quickly said "I need to go now".

Are you OCD?

Don't fuck with the laptop while you are getting her aroused as you give her a break, one in which she realizes where things are going.

Closing up the laptop says "Now on to the next step."

Keep the flow going with no interruptions.

[RCron]

(05-08-2013 02:23 PM)Hotwheels Wrote:  

(05-08-2013 12:56 PM)RCron Wrote:  

Touched her the whole time we were looking at pics and then when I put the laptop away she quickly said "I need to go now".

Are you OCD?

Don't fuck with the laptop while you are getting her aroused as you give her a break, one in which she realizes where things are going.

Closing up the laptop says "Now on to the next step."

Keep the flow going with no interruptions.

Damn, it seems like the more progress I make the less I know The next time I do the photo tour I need to just go for the makeout partway through with no interruptions.

[Dulceácido]

(05-08-2013 11:03 AM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

(05-08-2013 10:22 AM)OlympusSquared Wrote:  

She seems a bit uptight, sitting on the other side of the couch when we arrive.

You were cooked right here.

You didn't establish enough trust, comfort and rapport.

One has to hit The Six Elements of Picking Up Girls to swoop.

Or maybe she was just strange.

Either way, Next!

G beat me to it. When I was reading your post, that little phrase jumped out at me, too.

Next...

[OlympusSquared]

(05-08-2013 04:30 PM)Dulceácido Wrote:  

(05-08-2013 11:03 AM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  

(05-08-2013 10:22 AM)OlympusSquared Wrote:  

She seems a bit uptight, sitting on the other side of the couch when we arrive.

You were cooked right here.

You didn't establish enough trust, comfort and rapport.

One has to hit The Six Elements of Picking Up Girls to swoop.

Or maybe she was just strange.

Either way, Next!

G beat me to it. When I was reading your post, that little phrase jumped out at me, too.

Next...

Yeah, I know what you guys are saying. Thing is she seemed just shy in general, but at the same time seemed to enjoy my company, laughed a lot... seemed like we had a great rapport before we got to that point.

So back to the question, why would a girl choose uncoerced to come back to my place if she wasn't entertaining the idea of at least making out?

She sent me a text that word for word read: "I didn't like the fact that you invited me back to your place and tried to hook up with me on the second date. Thats waaay to soon for me."

What in gods name did she expect us to do, play scrabble?

[GenJx]

shes a prude. NEXT

[Jaylow]

(05-08-2013 10:47 PM)OlympusSquared Wrote:  

Yeah, I know what you guys are saying. Thing is she seemed just shy in general, but at the same time seemed to enjoy my company, laughed a lot... seemed like we had a great rapport before we got to that point.

So back to the question, why would a girl choose uncoerced to come back to my place if she wasn't entertaining the idea of at least making out?

She sent me a text that word for word read: "I didn't like the fact that you invited me back to your place and tried to hook up with me on the second date. Thats waaay to soon for me."

What in gods name did she expect us to do, play scrabble?

By reading your story you never kissed her until she left your place. If you touched her in an intimate spot you would have mentioned it. If you want a more detailed response you have to answer the question, at the exact point she said "i dont want to go any further" what exactly were you doing to her?

By her reactions afterwards it sounds like you literally confronted her about how you thought you were going to fuck her since she agreed to come back to your place. You didn't escalate properly and didn't build proper comfort. She gave you the chance and you messed up somewhere. It happens. The only way you are going to get honest help here and improve is if you give us honest responses. Ones things for sure, this girl aint coming back to your place ever again. Next.

[Tigre]

Is your house a genuinely attractive place with good vibes? Or does it have some rough edges?

A chick will look around your crib and pick up all kinds of cues about your lifestyle. They scope out those details like a hawk. Imagine Tuthmosis poring over a chick's internet dating pics, alert for the most subtle sign of a Secret Internet Fatty. You may not notice it, but that is the level of scrutiny a girl gives to your living space.

My current home closes chicks all by itself. Some previous places I lived were neutral or worse than neutral.

Not saying for certain it's this, but at least consider it as a factor. Look at how often you seal the deal at her place vs at your place.

[WestIndianArchie]

You went on a coffee date with a 23 year old.
You had a house date to watch a movie.
You put the moves on her, she resisted.
You kissed.
She sent you a good bye text.

If this is all you know about the chick, it's no wonder that you didn't get into her pants.

WIA

[Ensam]

(05-08-2013 10:47 PM)OlympusSquared Wrote:  

Yeah, I know what you guys are saying. Thing is she seemed just shy in general, but at the same time seemed to enjoy my company, laughed a lot... seemed like we had a great rapport before we got to that point.

So back to the question, why would a girl choose uncoerced to come back to my place if she wasn't entertaining the idea of at least making out?

She sent me a text that word for word read: "I didn't like the fact that you invited me back to your place and tried to hook up with me on the second date. Thats waaay to soon for me."

What in gods name did she expect us to do, play scrabble?

She was entertaining the idea, then decided against it. Her word for word text doesn't matter. Women don't speak with words: they use emotions. The underlying emotion I get from that text is shame. She probably feels some shame for having been open to the possibility and now associates you with that. There's probably not much you can do to fix it at this point.

Learn what you can and then: Next.

[MrXY]

(05-08-2013 10:22 AM)OlympusSquared Wrote:  

Met the girl for coffee last week. Quick cool conversation... usually first dates go well for me (about 3/4 end up in second dates).

Next this girl

And next time, no coffee dates. Either she's drinking or there is no date

Your goal is to bang her on the first date-escalate physically as far as you can