[scotian]

Last week I spent about 24 hours in Angeles city, it was about 23 hours too long but I gathered a bit of intel and I figured I would share it with you guys.

Why I went: The only reason I went there is because a client I work for back in Canada spends the winters there and he invited me to visit so I called him up and he invited me to come up for a day, figured I'd do some networking because this guy has serious connections.

Getting there: I took a taxi to the Cubao bus terminal in Manila and hopped on a nice AC bus, it cost 140P and the ride took just over an hour, Angeles is about 80 kms from Manila.

Where to stay: I didn't see much of the city at all, only the greasy sex tourist area, which is where I stayed, I checked into the Boomerang Hotel which is on perimeter road, across the street from Clark air base and within walking distance to all of the sleazy night life action.

What I did: Not too much really, I just chilled with my friend, he's an older guy, about 60 and a complete red neck from Alberta, it was actually pretty cool to hang out and talk shop with a guy because I haven't done that in over six months now and I kind of miss it. Also, I met some of his friends and the shit that these guys were saying had me cracking up, I wrote some of it down on my phone, I'll get to that later.

Basically we took it easy until night time then we hit up some girly bars and let me tell you, I was not impressed at all with Angeles City, here's why:

-Most of the bars are run down: actually most of the building on the sleasy strip from Perimeter road to Walking Street (Field Avenue) are run down.

-Typical Asian strip clubs: Don't expect North American style strippers, where one chick is on stage and its her show and she dances up and down the pole. Here you'll have about 6-10 girls on the stage, half of them won't be dancing, just moving a little and chatting among themselves, very boring. Don't expect anything freaky, this is a Catholic country, unlike those freaky Buddhists in Thailand, you won't see them pulling anything out of their vaginas. The next point is the biggest reason why Angeles sucks....

-The strippers don't strip: I guess we shouldn't even call them strippers, they're go-go dancers and its against the law for them to be naked. They can wear bikinis or lingerie but no nudity, fucking lame, how a city that is known around the world to be a sex tourist hot spot doesn't have strippers is beyond me.

-Other foreigners: Probably the saddest, greasiest bunch of men I've ever been around. There were a few Korean and Japanese guys but the vast majority were old, crusty white sex tourists who dress like shit, are often over weight and basically just retire there and drink themselves to death (cirrhosis of the liver is the main killer among expats there).

My night in Angeles City: Fairly uneventful, we started on Perimeter road at a couple of small go-go bars that attract more budget minded expats, my friend told me that all of the short term tourists head to Walking Street, but the locals prefer Perimeter road because its cheaper. We met up with a couple of his friends, a mechanic from North Dakota and the former key board player from popular Canadian rock band Trooper (he was hilarious). They explained to me the ins-and-outs of the AC scene, I wasn't too interested though, these guys basically go out almost every night of the week and bang whores and grab as much T and A as they can. I'm pretty sure they banged most of the girls in each club we went to because all of the girls knew them on a first name basis and they ran into other expat friends there.

On Perimeter road we hit up the following go-go clubs: Tanda Bar, Baby Dolls and Ice Bar. All were small but had decent crowds on a Thursday night. Beers were relatively cheap at 60P, compared to 90P at the bars on Walking Street. I forgot to keep track of the bars on Walking Street but they were bigger and better with hotter girls and more people but all the same, I wasn't too impressed due to the lack of nudity and freakiness.

After midnight, we were at our last bar and I was pretty drunk by then, had at least a dozen beer into me and I think that I pissed off my buddy by being rude to the girls. He was expecting me to take one home, at one time he even said "I think every man should take home five girls at least once in their life", he even offered me a Viagra haha, tonight wasn't my night, I told him him that I banged hotter women for free and I wasn't about to pay for one of these whores. He didn't like that I referred to them as whores. He then gave me a big spiel about how these girls aren't here by choice, they have rough lives and its not cool to be rude to them. He had a good point I guess, actually there's some kind of "code of honour" among these greasy sex tourists that they were trying to explain to me but I wasn't really listening.

Anyway, I can't say that I recommend the place for a RVF type guy, its boring, if you want to see a freak show, go to Soi Nana or soi Cowboy in BKK, better yet, go to Pattaya, Angeles City is lame! The only reason I can think of to go there is if you're flying out of Clark airport (Air Asia flies from there) or to go sky diving or see an air show at the base.

Here's some pics I took:

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Shit Sex Tourists Say: man these old dudes were were hilarious

-There's only one problem with doing nothing, you never know when you're done.

-I told the girl that I'm a burner not a splasher (I'm still trying to figure that one out, maybe he smokes weed and doesn't drink?)

A fat ass Filipina walks by us and one of the geezers says "look at the back porch on that one" to which my friend replied "she's a little too heavy in the hinds for me".

-These Filipinas are prudes when they're virgins, but once they lose it, they sure do use it.

-You never lose a girl here, you just miss your turn.

-The problem here in the Philippines is that you don't use your brain, you only use your dick, but that's okay, I'm retired, I used my brain enough.

There were a lot more, I just got too drunk to remember to write them down. Another thing, although the whole sex tourist scene isn't really my style, I shouldn't criticize too much because there's a damn good chance that I'll end up like them someday and I do understand the irony of me calling them greasy sex tourists when there's a lot of people who would consider what guys like me and other RVF members do in Asian as sex tourism haha.