You Cheated on Him. Now What?
You've probably heard by now that Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson with her director. Sure, it's not something to be proud of, but we get it: Sometimes cheating happens. Here's how to deal if you stray.
Don't Tell Him...
Your mother may have told you that honesty is the best policy, but in this case, many experts advise keeping your mouth shut. "If it really was just one indiscretion, don't tell him," says psychologist Marcella Bakur Weiner, PhD, author of Cheaters. "Although it might make you feel better, it will only hurt him and ruin the trust between you."
...Or Anyone Else
Even if the guilt is killing you, let it be your burden to bear. And don't tell other people either or you increase the possibility of his finding out.
Examine Your Motives
When a woman cheats, even just once, there's usually a problem in her relationship. "Women often stray if their sex lives are stagnant or they're feeling neglected," says Ruth Houston, author of Is He Cheating on You? "The other man fulfills something that her current guy isn't giving her."
Ask for More
If you decide your love is worth salvaging, you have to fix the problem or the issues will fester. "Ask yourself why you did it," advises Weiner. "Then let your boyfriend know what you need from him." But still, do not confess.
Be Honest With Yourself
Of course, the relationship could already be dead in the water. "You may just be too lazy or scared to address the issues," Houston points out. Or you just want to see what else is out there before doing anything drastic. But do yourself (and your boyfriend) a favor: Cut the cord.
Say You're Sorry
Even if you've covered your tracks, your man could discover your indiscretion. Assuming you still want to be with him, your best bet is to say how sorry you are, swear it'll never happen again, and beg for his forgiveness. Now is not the time to get into the reasons why you did it. "Wait a couple weeks before airing your grievances," says Weiner. "He needs time to process the betrayal without being confronted with the mistakes he's made."
Give Him Space
Being cheated on can do a number on a person's self-esteem, so you have to stroke the poor boy's ego. Regardless, he will be pissed and might need space. If so, leave him alone until, fingers crossed, he forgives you.
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/rel...at#slide-1
You've probably heard by now that Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson with her director. Sure, it's not something to be proud of, but we get it: Sometimes cheating happens. Here's how to deal if you stray.
Don't Tell Him...
Your mother may have told you that honesty is the best policy, but in this case, many experts advise keeping your mouth shut. "If it really was just one indiscretion, don't tell him," says psychologist Marcella Bakur Weiner, PhD, author of Cheaters. "Although it might make you feel better, it will only hurt him and ruin the trust between you."
...Or Anyone Else
Even if the guilt is killing you, let it be your burden to bear. And don't tell other people either or you increase the possibility of his finding out.
Examine Your Motives
When a woman cheats, even just once, there's usually a problem in her relationship. "Women often stray if their sex lives are stagnant or they're feeling neglected," says Ruth Houston, author of Is He Cheating on You? "The other man fulfills something that her current guy isn't giving her."
Ask for More
If you decide your love is worth salvaging, you have to fix the problem or the issues will fester. "Ask yourself why you did it," advises Weiner. "Then let your boyfriend know what you need from him." But still, do not confess.
Be Honest With Yourself
Of course, the relationship could already be dead in the water. "You may just be too lazy or scared to address the issues," Houston points out. Or you just want to see what else is out there before doing anything drastic. But do yourself (and your boyfriend) a favor: Cut the cord.
Say You're Sorry
Even if you've covered your tracks, your man could discover your indiscretion. Assuming you still want to be with him, your best bet is to say how sorry you are, swear it'll never happen again, and beg for his forgiveness. Now is not the time to get into the reasons why you did it. "Wait a couple weeks before airing your grievances," says Weiner. "He needs time to process the betrayal without being confronted with the mistakes he's made."
Give Him Space
Being cheated on can do a number on a person's self-esteem, so you have to stroke the poor boy's ego. Regardless, he will be pissed and might need space. If so, leave him alone until, fingers crossed, he forgives you.
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/rel...at#slide-1