[jammer]

Quote:

There are two things the Delta Gamma sorority's University of Maryland chapter refuses to tolerate. The first is Delta Gammas who are "LITERALLY being so fucking AWKWARD." The second is young ladies who are "so fucking BORING."

Last week, bitches got told.
A tipster forwarded us the following expletive and CAPS-ridden email tirade, sent to the entire sorority chapter by one of its executive board members, that will go down in history as one of the most passionate denunciations of FUCKING AWKWARD AND BORING-ness ever committed to words.

The impetus for the email: Sisters' inability to participate in Greek Week activities (particularly: those involving their "matchup" fraternity, Sigma Nu) to the satisfaction of the board.

(Put another way: Delta Gamma's leadership was concerned that its young achievers weren't living up to the sorority's historic mission "to foster high ideals of friendship among college women, to promote their educational and cultural interests, to create in them a true sense of social responsibility and to develop in them the best qualities of character.")

Quote:

If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride.

For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this chapter, we have been FUCKING UP in terms of night time events and general social interactions with Sigma Nu. I've been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so fucking AWKWARD and so fucking BORING. If you're reading this right now and saying to yourself "But oh em gee Julia, I've been having so much fun with my sisters this week!", then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don't have to fucking find you on campus to do it myself.

I do not give a flying fuck, and Sigma Nu does not give a flying fuck, about how much you fucking love to talk to your sisters. You have 361 days out of the fucking year to talk to sisters, and this week is NOT, I fucking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. This week is about fostering relationships in the greek community, and that's not fucking possible if you're going to stand around and talk to each other and not our matchup. Newsflash you stupid cocks: FRATS DON'T LIKE BORING SORORITIES. Oh wait, DOUBLE FUCKING NEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU IS NOT GOING TO WANT TO HANG OUT WITH US IF WE FUCKING SUCK, which by the way in case you're an idiot and need it spelled out for you, WE FUCKING SUCK SO FAR. This also applies to you little shits that have talked openly about post gaming at a different frat IN FRONT OF SIGMA NU BROTHERS. Are you people fucking retarded? That's not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you're mentally slow so I can make sure you don't go to anymore night time events. If Sigma Nu openly said "Yeah we're gonna invite Zeta over", would you be happy? WOULD YOU? No you wouldn't, so WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO IT TO THEM?? IN FRONT OF THEM?!! First of all, you SHOULDN'T be post gaming at other frats, I don't give a FUCK if your boyfriend is in it, if your brother is in it, or if your entire family is in that frat. YOU DON'T GO. YOU. DON'T. GO. And you ESPECIALLY do fucking NOT convince other girls to leave with you.

"But Julia!", you say in a whiny little bitch voice to your computer screen as you read this email, "I've been cheering on our teams at all the sports, doesn't that count for something?" NO YOU STUPID FUCKING ASS HATS, IT FUCKING DOESN'T. DO YOU WANNA KNOW FUCKING WHY?!! IT DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN FUCKING UP AT SOBER FUCKING EVENTS TOO. I've not only gotten texts about people being fucking WEIRD at sports (for example, being stupid shits and saying stuff like "durr what's kickball?" is not fucking funny), but I've gotten texts about people actually cheering for the opposing team. The opposing. Fucking. Team. ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?!! I don't give a SHIT about sportsmanship, YOU CHEER FOR OUR GODDAMN TEAM AND NOT THE OTHER ONE, HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TO A SPORTS GAME? ARE YOU FUCKING BLIND? Or are you just so fucking dense about what it means to make people like you that you think being a good little supporter of the greek community is going to make our matchup happy? Well it's time someone told you, NO ONE FUCKING LIKES THAT, ESPECIALLY OUR FUCKING MATCHUP. I will fucking cunt punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a fuck if you SOR me, I WILL FUCKING ASSAULT YOU.

"Ohhh Julia, I'm now crying because your email has made me oh so so sad". Well good. If this email applies to you in any way, meaning if you are a little asswipe that stands in the corners at night or if you're a weird shit that does weird shit during the day, this following message is for you:

DO NOT GO TO TONIGHT'S EVENT.

I'm not fucking kidding. Don't go. Seriously, if you have done ANYTHING I've mentioned in this email and have some rare disease where you're unable to NOT do these things, then you are HORRIBLE, I repeat, HORRIBLE PR FOR THIS CHAPTER. I would rather have 40 girls that are fun, talk to boys, and not fucking awkward than 80 that are fucking faggots. If you are one of the people that have told me "Oh nooo boo hoo I can't talk to boys I'm too sober", then I pity you because I don't know how you got this far in life, and with that in mind don't fucking show up unless you're going to stop being a goddamn cock block for our chapter. Seriously. I swear to fucking God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at tonight's event, I will tell you to leave even if you're sober. I'm not even kidding. Try me.

And for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don't give a fuck. Go fuck yourself.

http://gawker.com/5994974/the-most-deran...-ever-read

[Hotwheels]

cunt punt


lolz....

[Virtus]

She has a lot of valid points there

[SpiderKing]

The world needs more of this type of mother hen.

[Hannibal]

We need (a few) more women like her.

[slubu]

This girl would be awesome in bed.

[POHammer]

Lol. Fraternities and sororities used to be cool. Now people are too lame to even interact socially.

[jmoney29]

(04-19-2013 10:48 AM)POHammer Wrote:  

Lol. Fraternities and sororities used to be cool. Now people are too lame to even interact socially.

Some people genuinely do it to meet new people, others do it in order to remain as insular as possible.

[phoenix101]

Just beautiful.

[Caligula]

Beautiful feat of anti-cockblocking.

[Bronan the Barbarian!]

Standing ovation for her. In an age of people who can't even look one another in the eye, she demands simple non-awkward (and dare I say it - "heteronormative") human interaction. Unsurprisingly, she's hot:







Wish there were more girls like that.

[cibo]

She's pretty right with, or without, the cussing. And I'm damn impressed a sister is calling out the cockblockers.

Now the cussing of course makes the email epic.

[beta_plus]

DC girls forming impenetrable clique circles at social events and refusing to play along to the point of being killjoys? THAT'S UNPOSSIBLE!

I was at a birthday 2 months ago and the women refused to sit among the men at the dinner table.

[Ryre]

Anyone know who the Sigma Nu's are? Are they like some super-high-status jock fraternity, or what? That would make this picture complete.

[MrXY]

This girl can talk some shit and she's right too.

I knew she would be good looking before I saw the pic

"cunt punt" hahaha

[Hotwheels]

50 bux says she takes it in the butt.

And I'm good with that.

Wonder if she's on SA.....

[jammer]

[pobreinvestidor]

I never understood this whole fraternity-sorority relationship. If Sorority X girls have the obligation to interact with Frat Y guys, what do they get in return? Is it just cock or theres money involved?

[TheRookie]

It is pretty incredible how the new generation is getting more and more socially inept with every passing year. The problem is they are plugged into their phones, high speed internet, social media, and video games more and more with each passing year. I heard this same complaint at my college from seniors when I was a freshman. My class was one of the first to go through high school where everybody had a cell phone and high speed internet access.

Now, you can sit in your dorm room and emerge for class and meals without getting bored. High speed porn, youtube, social media, video games, etc.

[R Smoov]

(04-19-2013 12:49 PM)pobreinvestidor Wrote:  

I never understood this whole fraternity-sorority relationship. If Sorority X girls have the obligation to interact with Frat Y guys, what do they get in return? Is it just cock or theres money involved?

Mainly for their booze if we're talking about night events. It's pretty sad too man. There's been some parties I went to where sorority girls would just come in, cockblock guys, drink up the booze but then leave to go to another frat.

This Pokemon is doing it right. I'm still waging on my head if I should even pledge once I get back and get my shit together.

[WesternCancer]

I understand and agree with the underlying message, but GAT DAYUM that was hard to read. like literallllyyyy. I felt awkwarddddd.

[beta_plus]

It seems to be exceptionally bad in places like DC. One of the things that I loved about Charleston, SC was that hot girls were not nearly as wedded to their mobile phones.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

That said, I don't know if she makes a good point because I despise fraternities / sororities and think it's the stupidest of all American inventions. It's extremely shallow. Maybe I'm just biased because of various movies, but still.

[POHammer]

(04-19-2013 12:54 PM)TheRookie Wrote:  

It is pretty incredible how the new generation is getting more and more socially inept with every passing year. The problem is they are plugged into their phones, high speed internet, social media, and video games more and more with each passing year. I heard this same complaint at my college from seniors when I was a freshman. My class was one of the first to go through high school where everybody had a cell phone and high speed internet access.

Now, you can sit in your dorm room and emerge for class and meals without getting bored. High speed porn, youtube, social media, video games, etc.

Yup. I think about moving to Africa somedays

[presidentcarter]

(04-19-2013 11:26 AM)Bronan the Barbarian! Wrote: