[salmonfella]

Its a simply as that how do you? kind of going through a phase where its at an all time low and i simply don't no why

[Parlay44]

Get your diet and exercise straight first. Check out the health and fitness threads.

[4profit]

I agree with Parlay. From personal experience, I can say that I had the most confidence during the periods in my life when I was consistently lifting or being physically active in some other way. It's tough in the beginning, but over time, you'll develop good habits that can help you with your mental AND physical health.

[funkyzeit]

1. Raise your testosterone
2. Fake it till you make it

With 1 you'll get focus, sharp mind (and body) and the ability to see things more objectively and to act boldly. With 2 you'll get respect of the others over the time because you had 1 as your base.

[Amigoish]

it's about emotional intelligence to me, not easy though. When I am during a dry spell, and after many rejections in a roll due to poor game (0/15+), I start to invest too much in the approaches. That's a problem that I believe will be fixed over time, to not give a shit about girls, and believe that game is all about fun, not a serious thing. When I reach that emotional state, it's when my dry spell ends and I have a fact to back up that state, then I really feel like my confidence is real. "Fake it until you make it". I just gather my balls and go out and approach girls anyway even when I know I suck (temporarily)

[Giovonny]

Work Harder. Work Smarter. Return to Fundamentals. Stay Positive. Don't Quit.

[Ovid]

Identify your insecurities and fix them, if they are holding you back. For example, if you are scrawny, start working out. Work on improving your life, so you can honestly think to yourself "My life is awesome, I have a good situation, and I am the shit, and girls should be lining up to fuck me because I'm the best man they could ever meet." I have this attitude every time I approach a girl, because, even though I am humble at heart and know fifty things I could improve on, I can also look around and recognize that objectively, I blow the competition out of the water. The value is already there: it's just up to me to demonstrate it in a conversation, and by my appearance, and my vibe, so girls will perceive it and want me to fuck them.

[bojangles]

Thus spake Giovonny, read his posts newbies

[Pinch]

You will always have ups and downs. Man, I've experienced some shitty lows but it all comes back. Usually, an experience, when you absolutely KILL IT is the best to get you back on track. Just try not to fall in the negative pattern. Keep pushing, this is the whole process and you'll come out stronger once you push through. Just keep going.

[jmoney29]

Make your confidence internal so that you keep it stable. I read a good example about external confidence(validation) recently, someone who places all of his confidence or self-esteem in his stock portfolio makes his confidence a roller-coaster that follows the market. Take an objective look at all the things that you have accomplished and realize that the positive traits that helped you succeed are never going to leave.

[Travesty]

1. No masturbating
2. No porn
3. Exercise 20 min. a day whether you feel like it not
4. 8 hours of sleep
5. Only drink or do drugs if you think it will directly aid in getting a bang

If you follow this you will fill up with so much testosterone and sex need you won't be able to even think about confidence anymore, you will just start chasing and catching. Over and out.

[Atlantic]

Salmonfella are you nervous about making the big move to Canada by any chance?

If you put in the work and manage to succeed over here I imagine that that achievement alone will be enough to restore your confidence and then some. I think as an Irishman you will feel like a new man after setting yourself up over here.

Remember: success is defined as the steady realization of a worthy ideal. The progress made towards this ideal is what creates confidence.

List and track your goals.

Its not where you are at right now its how hard you are working towards your goals that counts.

Trust me - in a few months time you will feel like a new man. I have seen it in nearly all the young Irish guys who have moved over here.

[Giovonny]

Forget about your confidence levels. They are just imaginary feelings created by your mind.

Just do the work.

Ignore your own mind. It lies. Just do the work. Work doesn't lie.

Here is a related post about a guy who is "depressed":

(04-15-2013 01:14 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

(04-15-2013 03:35 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

if you're really severely depressed forcing yourself to approach may almost be like trying to walk when you have a broken leg.

I agree that "depressed" is not a great mind-set to have while approaching. You may appear... well.. "depressed", which is not an attractive look.

Better to get yourself into a more healthy state of mind before you go out and talk to girls..

But, how can you get yourself into a better state of mind???

Talk to a counselor? Anti-depression medicine? Meditation?

Do whatever works for you. I believe that one way to fight depression is to engage your mind/body in an activity that you are serious about. If you are doing something challenging and having a little fun, you are less aware of your depression. It's only when you stop and think, that you become self-aware, and thus remember that you are depressed.

I believe the way to fight depression is to take MASSIVE positive ACTION. I mean ENORMOUS positive ACTION. Like RIDICULOUS levels of ACTION!

What other strategy has ever worked for man???

MASSIVE POSITIVE ACTION is the only thing that has ever accomplished anything for any man. Thinking does very little for depressed people, medicine may or may not help, counseling can help and I do recommend that the OP get professional treatment from a doctor.

However, my advice is still the same...

IGNORE YOUR DEPRESSION. Just take the necessary action that you want to take. You could be depressed and talk to 0 girls or you can be depressed and talk to 100 girls. Which one will be more beneficial? Most likely, talking to 100 girls. Especially, since the op ACTUALLY WANTS TO TALK TO GIRLS. Face your fears head on.

I believe action determines mood and feelings. I don't think mood and feelings should restrict our actions.

I'm not saying talk to girls so you can bang them. I'm saying talk to girl as an exercise and treatment for the depression.

I think talking to girls is an "anti-depressant", literally.

What could be a better treatment for the OP?

The OP wants to talk to girls, he wants to improve his game, he wants to improve his mood, he wants to improve his mind-set. He needs a physical and social exercise that will allow him to feel better about himself.

Approach girls!

It's a primal exercise for a man. It challenges you at your deepest, most masculine levels.

Look at it as therapy. Go to the doctor, get your treatment, but, I think the best treatment is to just get out there and do whatever it is that you want to do. Face your fear head on!

(04-15-2013 03:35 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

depression is more than just "thinking negative."

Agreed. I think its more "doing negative ".

Not living the life you want. Not doing the things you want.

Being afraid to take action. Not doing what you really want to do.

Thoughts can be controlled, with a little practice. I also think chemical imbalances can be controlled, with a little practice.

Break the chemical pattern in your brain. Try new and different activities. Do things that make you happy. Live the life that you want.

TAKE MASSIVE ACTION! Approach 40 girls today!

Jump out of an airplane and stare death in the face, then see if you are still "depressed".

I also think some "Day Time Apocalypse Operners" would help.

Just my opinion based on 30 years of research on "Bro-Science".

I learned that physical activity effects mood. Physical activity is the first step. Get out of your head and get into the world. Engage the world. Attack the world. Don't think about it, DO IT!

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-20567-...#pid421010

[Don]

I'm starting to think most of the people giving advice on RVF are fat and out of shape. Too many people use the "workout more" "eat better" "raise your testosterone" as a panacea to various types of problems, ranging from depression to low self esteem and so on. I've been fit for most of my life, started training seriously when i was 16, and i don't know how life is like being fat and out of shape. And tho i'm fit, i dealt with depression and low self esteem for most of my life. Working out and living a healthy lifestyle certainly helped make it better, but what really helped me was changing my habits and my mindset. I stopped comparing myself with other people, started noticing the good things about myself, walked straighter and smiled more. I stopped focusing on bad stuff, became more laid back, more relaxed. Sure, it feels good and it's a good confidence boost to get complimented by people, asked for advice and so on, but trust me, after a while, it just becomes part of who you are, you no longer get such a big kick out of it.

So the answer isn't workout more, but allow yourself to be happy and confident. I know it might sound edgy and new agey, but it all starts and ends in your mind.

[Giovonny]

(04-22-2013 01:38 PM)Don Wrote:  

changing my habits .

I think this is the biggest key to changing your life.

When you change your actions, your attitude will change.