[Lex S.]

I've been seeing this girl on and off for maybe 6 months or so. We've never become official, and I've always viewed it as a FWB situation. About a month ago the condom broke while having sex, and we found out later that she was pregnant. Long story short we both agreed that abortion would be best, and I took her to the clinic a couple weeks ago.

Since the abortion she's become VERY clingy. She wants to talk to me several times a week (We've gone weeks without talking before) and she now wants to see me once a week. She's been referring to me as her boyfriend, and expecting me to take her out to dinner and do all this other crap.

I saw her last night, and it was unbearable. We were going to meet up with some mutual friends, and she showed up really late. Then she caused a fuss about not wanting to leave to see them immediately. Then she kept trying to get me to buy her drinks. Then she started asking me if other girls at the bar were prettier than her. Then she asked me who certain girls are who either liked or commented on my Facebook statuses. Then she started talking about marriage and how she'd want me to get her a gold ring. Then she asked if I was cheating on her or thinking of leaving her (Jesus, with shit testing like this how could I not get the urge???). I wanted to leave her there, and when I said that she got really sweet and said she didn't want me to go and acted normally the rest of the night.

She never used to act like this. All girls are nuts to a certain extent, but she was fairly normal. Ever since the abortion she's been really clingy and just driving me nuts. I've been trying to be supportive, but this behavior from her is just pushing me away. This isn't what I want, and it seems like the more I deflect her shit tests she keeps throwing more at me. It's so mentally tiring and I can't take it any more. I've been thinking of dumping her ass, but any time I try to do it she huffs and puffs and cries and refuses to do so. What would be the best way to either get rid of her, or at least get her to stop acting like such a bitch?

[MrXY]

Quote:

I've been thinking of dumping her ass, but any time I try to do it she huffs and puffs and cries and refuses to do so. What would be the best way to either get rid of her, or at least get her to stop acting like such a bitch?

Refuses to do what? Let you dump her? Are you serious?

She sounds like the type who will intentionally get pregnant again to trap you.

Just tell her "It's not working out between us" and dump her now.

[PrimeTime32]

Change you fucking number or block her number and if you can get the hell out of town. But never under any circumstances sleep with her again....EVER!!!!

[ryanf]

(03-29-2013 04:16 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

Quote:

I've been thinking of dumping her ass, but any time I try to do it she huffs and puffs and cries and refuses to do so. What would be the best way to either get rid of her, or at least get her to stop acting like such a bitch?

Refuses to do what? Let you dump her? Are you serious?

She sounds like the type who will intentionally get pregnant again to trap you.

Just tell her "It's not working out between us" and dump her now.

This is very possible. She might be hormonal, causing her to regret the abortion. She might attribute getting pregnant to keeping you around. Get rid of her IMMEDIATELY.

[Lex S.]

(03-29-2013 05:12 PM)ryanf Wrote:  

(03-29-2013 04:16 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

Quote:

I've been thinking of dumping her ass, but any time I try to do it she huffs and puffs and cries and refuses to do so. What would be the best way to either get rid of her, or at least get her to stop acting like such a bitch?

Refuses to do what? Let you dump her? Are you serious?

She sounds like the type who will intentionally get pregnant again to trap you.

Just tell her "It's not working out between us" and dump her now.

This is very possible. She might be hormonal, causing her to regret the abortion. She might attribute getting pregnant to keeping you around. Get rid of her IMMEDIATELY.

Yeah, I have no doubt she's probably hormonal, her body went through something really unnatural when she had to procedure. She was fine up until last night, and it drove me crazy.

I've never had any luck dumping girls before, though. I'll threaten it, and then they freak out and promise to change or do something to right their wrongs (I've heard of PUA's strengthening a bond with a girl by breaking up with them, because it shows you care less and it turns them on). But I know from experience that if a girl decides to dump a guy then her word is final, and they equate any kind of pleading with harassment. I wish I had the on-off switch for emotions like women do, but for all my cynicism I still have a lot of nice guy programming to get rid of. Part of me is saying she's going through a lot and needs me there, and the other half is saying to fucking get rid of her.

[ryanf]

(03-29-2013 06:19 PM)Lex S. Wrote:  

(03-29-2013 05:12 PM)ryanf Wrote:  

(03-29-2013 04:16 PM)MrXY Wrote:  

Quote:

I've been thinking of dumping her ass, but any time I try to do it she huffs and puffs and cries and refuses to do so. What would be the best way to either get rid of her, or at least get her to stop acting like such a bitch?

Refuses to do what? Let you dump her? Are you serious?

She sounds like the type who will intentionally get pregnant again to trap you.

Just tell her "It's not working out between us" and dump her now.

This is very possible. She might be hormonal, causing her to regret the abortion. She might attribute getting pregnant to keeping you around. Get rid of her IMMEDIATELY.

Yeah, I have no doubt she's probably hormonal, her body went through something really unnatural when she had to procedure. She was fine up until last night, and it drove me crazy.

I've never had any luck dumping girls before, though. I'll threaten it, and then they freak out and start shit or promise to change. But I know from experience that if a girl decides to dump a guy then her word is final, and they equate any kind of pleading with harassment. I wish I had the on-off switch for emotions like women do, but for all my cynicism I still have a lot of nice guy programming to get rid of. Part of me is saying she's going through a lot and needs me there, and the other half is saying to fucking get rid of her.

Breaking up is not done as a threat. Just tell her it's over, don't give her any emotions to feed off of. Like Patrice O'Neal used to say: "she is going to roll around on the ground like Larry from the 3 Stooges". You stay calm, just like passing a shit-test, and when she is done, give her all her shit back, and leave. Stop answering texts, calls, etc. Especially when it inevitably gets worse, which is usually right before it goes away completely (aka she finds another seat on the carousel).

[Ovid]

I have a friend who had a girl like this. He took her virginity, she got crazy attached, started talking about marriage, started actively trying to get pregnant (he caught her using a needle to sabotage the condoms in his bedside drawer) and gave him no space, called him constantly, basically made his life a living hell. Run far away.

[nek]

This isn't meant to be dickish by any means, and I'm not trying to play Freud here, but it kind of sounds like that you like this behavior. As in, you like being needed by her. It kind of read like a woman saying she hates a guy and is always complaining about him, but the fact that she's always talking about him/complaining shows how much she's into him. Also the fact that you've put up with this behavior for so long gives me that idea. I'm not 100% on this though, but if you do some introspection and think there's some merit to this idea, work on it, it'll go a long way with helping your "inner game" and help you deal with these circumstances better.

[nek]

(03-29-2013 06:19 PM)Lex S. Wrote:  

Part of me is saying she's going through a lot and needs me there, and the other half is saying to fucking get rid of her.

Why do you have to be the guy that she needs? Yeah the abortion probably caused some shit but she'll get over it. And read this:

http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/1...reciation/

and this:

http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2012/0...al-equity/

In essence, your not building equity with her by doing this. Look out for yourself.

[Lex S.]

(03-29-2013 07:52 PM)nek Wrote:  

In essence, your not building equity with her by doing this. Look out for yourself.

I've actually been wondering this. I don't consider myself alpha, but I took an alpha approach with her (Not being needy, never being the first to initiate contact, being the strong silent type). She loved this. But once she became pregnant I let some hints of beta behavior through, and she dug it, and I guarantee it made her feel better about the abortion.

But after that I kept the beta thing going because I was worried about her. She'd call and I'd pick up my phone, I'd call her when she'd tell me to call, etc. Last night I even invited her out (It's almost always her inviting me). I felt bad about what she went through, but it's not doing me any favors. I think she's testing my quality as a partner, because my attitude towards her changed so dramatically in the span of a couple weeks. She told me to call her tonight, but I'm not going to. I'll see how she reacts to me the next time she gets in touch.

[Lex S.]

(03-29-2013 07:45 PM)nek Wrote:  

This isn't meant to be dickish by any means, and I'm not trying to play Freud here, but it kind of sounds like that you like this behavior. As in, you like being needed by her. It kind of read like a woman saying she hates a guy and is always complaining about him, but the fact that she's always talking about him/complaining shows how much she's into him. Also the fact that you've put up with this behavior for so long gives me that idea. I'm not 100% on this though, but if you do some introspection and think there's some merit to this idea, work on it, it'll go a long way with helping your "inner game" and help you deal with these circumstances better.

I'd say this is highly plausible. I had pretty much zero luck with girls until I was 22, when I got into my first long-term relationship. What I dug about this first gf was she was needy around me, something I had never experienced before (Prior to this I was always doing favors for girls, trying to win their affection. Sometimes it did lead to some action, but never more than a few weeks). This gave me a feeling of power, and I was with her for 2 years. But it became a nightmare later on as her neediness just grew exponentially and I couldn't satisfy it.

Since discovering PUA and the MRM I've been trying to evaluate what makes me tick, and how I can better myself as a man. I know this current girl's behavior is shit, but I absolute hate the drama aspect. I'm an introvert and I find most interactions with people to be exhausting, especially when there's drama. But I also have a nurturing side that wants me to take care of this girl, and it's constantly winning out over my thoughts of just dumping her and never talking to her again. I was raised by a single mother to be a nice guy, and this programming has been the hardest to break.

[nek]

(03-29-2013 08:14 PM)Lex S. Wrote:  

But it became a nightmare later on as her neediness just grew exponentially and I couldn't satisfy it.

This little part tells me a bit about you, in that you've made an ego-investment in being able to satisfy a woman (typical with the single mother thing going on). One thing I tell guys, and it applies to all aspects of life where you want to succeed, is that you need to kill your ego. Let it go. Just to be clear, I'm not saying you have a HUGE ego or anything like that, but you've tied your sense of value to female validation. And living life for approval is a special kind of hell. As the saying goes: I don't know what the key to success is, but the key to not succeeding is trying to get everyone to like you.

The best way to approach the game is to think with your dick, not your heart/mind. That is to say, approach a girl because you're horny and that's it, not for any sort of ego boost or validation. This helps with rejection, as rejection won't be this crushing thing anymore because your ego/self-worth isn't invested anymore. Rejection will simply be "Damn, I can't fuck her", and that's it.

But your on the right path, you have the humility to look at yourself objectively, and are making an effort to better yourself. And for that, you have my respect.

[Alpha Hunter Zero]

Tell her it's over, walk away and cut all contact with her immediately. Do not sleep with her anymore. If you by chance run into her in the future say "hey" and keep walking. If you run into her at any type of party or gathering dont acknowledge her and stay as far away as possible. Another thing to consider is a restraining order as one of your last resorts.

[DBCooper]

In the words of the internet - 'abandon thread' - metaphorically of course.

On a serious note, she sounds like a basketcase.

[Matt3B]

As Roissy said, be the oak tree. When there's a shit storm, stand tall, proud and unmoved.

Dump this girl and be the oak tree. You'll end up regretting it carrying on with her, in my opinion.