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That's Sexis'!: Ideas for a joke book
#1

That's Sexis'!: Ideas for a joke book

Inspired by Days of Broken Arrows' response to Teedub's thread, Everyday Sexism Project, I created this thread to collect ideas for a joke book, that I, or Days of Broken Arrows', or anybody could use to make this joke book and disseminate it through the manosphere and amazon.

Here's the "offending" post:

Quote: (02-24-2013 10:38 AM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

Stuff like this comes from women's eternal need to be "damsels in distress." That meme developed in the old days for a reason. It's true. Now that feminism has changed the game and women aren't in as much physical distress, they need to create distress to feel like women. We call it "creating drama."

But here is the deal on "everyday sexism." It's whatever a woman says it is. So if you hold the door open, you're sexist. If you let it shut behind you, you're sexist.

If you notice she's a woman, you're sexist. If you don't, you also sexist because you made her feel "invisible."

If you think women shouldn't be in combat, you're sexist. If you do, you're sexist because you don't value women. If you think they do but should have to comply with men's physical standard's, you're sexist.

See how this game works? I bet we could compile an entire list of such things and it would make the rounds on Facebook. Hey, I have an idea!! What about a mini-book called "That's Sexist!" using examples like mine above along with cartoon illustrations of women appearing in a continuous state of indigence? Bet that would sell. It could be the manosphere's version of the Preppie Handbook or the Jewish-American Princess Handbook.

Here are a few of my own to get started:

If you approach a woman to hit on her, you're a creep. If you don't have the balls to talk to a woman you're a loser.

Women are strong, independent, and don't need a man. Except when they do.


Wald
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#2

That's Sexis'!: Ideas for a joke book

Feminists don't want a man to be masculine as it represents patriarchy, but if you question them - you're a virgin with a tiny penis, and thus not a real man.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. - H L Mencken
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#3

That's Sexis'!: Ideas for a joke book

Men's only clubs are sexist. There are still woman only clubs and spas.
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#4

That's Sexis'!: Ideas for a joke book

An ugly man hits on a woman...it's creepy and he gets destroyed. David Beckham hits on a woman, she's flattered and boasts to her friends.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. - H L Mencken
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#5

That's Sexis'!: Ideas for a joke book

Man cheats on wife: It's his fault
Woman cheats on husband: It's his fault.

Man put of marriage until his 30's: "He's probably a gay" or " he needs to man-up"
Woman puts off marriage till 30's: "She not read to settle down, she's still exploring herself(with boatloads of cock) and building her career but when she's ready(menopausal) she deserves the best man(Bill Gates wallet, Ron Jeremy's schlong, on Brad Pitt's body).

Boy does bad in school: Ritalin for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Girl does bad in school: It's the Patriarchy!

Quote: (08-18-2016 12:05 PM)dicknixon72 Wrote:  
...and nothing quite surprises me anymore. If I looked out my showroom window and saw a fully-nude woman force-fucking an alligator with a strap-on while snorting xanex on the roof of her rental car with her three children locked inside with the windows rolled up, I wouldn't be entirely amazed.
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#6

That's Sexis'!: Ideas for a joke book

Quote: (02-24-2013 10:42 PM)Goldin Boy Wrote:  

Man cheats on wife: It's his fault
Woman cheats on husband: It's his fault.

Man put of marriage until his 30's: "He's probably a gay" or " he needs to man-up"
Woman puts off marriage till 30's: "She not read to settle down, she's still exploring herself(with boatloads of cock) and building her career but when she's ready(menopausal) she deserves the best man(Bill Gates wallet, Ron Jeremy's schlong, on Brad Pitt's body).

Boy does bad in school: Ritalin for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Girl does bad in school: It's the Patriarchy!


Bravo sir!

[Image: thumb.gif]

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. - H L Mencken
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#7

That's Sexis'!: Ideas for a joke book

37-year old man is banging a 19 year old girl: Pedophile.
37-year old woman is banging a 19 year old guy: Empowered.

Woman wants to become a teacher: All is right and well in the world.
Man wants to become a teacher: 'He has to be a pedophile.'

Woman aggressively pursues a man she's interested in: 'She's strong, empowered and knows what she wants!'
Man aggressively pursues a woman he's interested in: 'He's creepy/sleazy!'

Girl's Facebook status: 'LIEK OMGFFZ LZOLLZOLLZOL!' (2300 likes)
Guy;s Facebook status: *Posts Grand Unified Theory* (2 likes)

Girl: 'Oh my god, I'm so sad! It turns out that Tommy was NOT really my friend; he just wanted to fuck me!'
Guy: 'Pretty good day; I've known Julia since I was 11, and the other day she made a move on me and I fucked her. Awesome.'

Women just want equal rights!: 'I demand laws stating that companies and colleges hire or admit a certain percentage of women just because they're women!'

Woman is fat, ugly and has no romantic prospects: 'You shouldn't have to change yourself, girl! The right man will love you for who you are!'
Man is fat, ugly and has no romantic prospects: 'You need to workout and make more money if you ever want a woman to love you!'

Man makes more money than woman: 'I don't care if he works more hours on harder projects, takes less days off and has more seniority, that's sexist and needs to change!'

Man divorces his wife for a younger, hotter woman: 'He's a pig!'
Woman divorces her husband for a richer man: 'It's okay she did it because he wasn't fulfilling her emotional needs!'

Watching Mad Men: I don't care how 'good looking' Don is; he's a sexist, chauvinist, alcoholic pig who cheats on his wife.
Meeting a man like Don Draper in person: *Fucks him at 'hello'.*

'I'm a strong, empowered, independent woman!': 'The mens on the internet harassed me, call the police!'
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#8

That's Sexis'!: Ideas for a joke book

^ I was seconds away from copy and pasting this into a facebook status, but I decided it wasn't worth upsetting the fem-matrix on a Monday. I wouldn't convert anyone, just alienate myself even further than I already have been recently.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. - H L Mencken
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#9

That's Sexis'!: Ideas for a joke book

Great idea for a book!

Married woman: "What's mine is mine and what's his is mine."

There was a good photo on here about a week ago - forgotten which thread - it had two girls walking past some poor guy looking down a drain and one girl is saying "Stop oppressing me". Something on that theme would make a good book cover.
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#10

That's Sexis'!: Ideas for a joke book

Quote: (02-25-2013 08:37 AM)Acute Angle Wrote:  

Great idea for a book!

Married woman: "What's mine is mine and what's his is mine."

There was a good photo on here about a week ago - forgotten which thread - it had two girls walking past some poor guy looking down a drain and one girl is saying "Stop oppressing me". Something on that theme would make a good book cover.

The number one reason I don't want to get married is because I saw this dynamic in my own parents. My Dad was making maybe 90k, and my mom was making 50k, and after the separation she bitched that he (despite paying the mortgage and all the bills) never helped her out financially.

'My money is my money, but your money is our money.'

Really, what kind of shit is that?
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#11

That's Sexis'!: Ideas for a joke book

Quote: (02-25-2013 08:54 AM)Nonpareil Wrote:  

Quote: (02-25-2013 08:37 AM)Acute Angle Wrote:  

Great idea for a book!

Married woman: "What's mine is mine and what's his is mine."

There was a good photo on here about a week ago - forgotten which thread - it had two girls walking past some poor guy looking down a drain and one girl is saying "Stop oppressing me". Something on that theme would make a good book cover.

The number one reason I don't want to get married is because I saw this dynamic in my own parents. My Dad was making maybe 90k, and my mom was making 50k, and after the separation she bitched that he (despite paying the mortgage and all the bills) never helped her out financially.

'My money is my money, but your money is our money.'

Really, what kind of shit is that?

That's similar to my parents. They split amicably, although he would have stayed together if he had a choice. That was 10 years ago, and even now, if he buys a new car he says "Don't tell your Mum".

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. - H L Mencken
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