[nek]

Been noticing this alot lately, but here's a specific anecdote: I have a friend who's a little on the shorter side but otherwise has alot going for him and works hard to improve himself. A girl that we both know talks about him saying things like "He's always doing pushups, trying to be macho", "he has small man complex". Basically, trying to say he's douchey while at the same time slightly insulting him (this is around other people, not him). With me, I'm witty and she always tries to psychoanalyze what I'm saying in an attempt to find weakness (or at least that's what I think). So she's a real ball-buster, seems like she's always trying to emasculate guys and take them down a notch. Here's the kicker: She's married, I just met her husband, and he's very betaish (while I hate using the alpha/beta terms, I can't think of another one to describe him at the moment). The only thing he'd have on a guy like my friend is that he's taller (barely). It seems to me that in her mind a short guy trying to improve himself is something to be mocked, yet a guy who's clearly not as masculine as my friend is to be more respected because he's not trying to improve himself in the ways my friend is. You'd think a women who loves to call men out and try to prod their weaknesses would be married to Rambo, but her husband is the farthest thing from, yet she seems to be more respectful of him in public. I don't get it. What drives this?

[ElBorrachoInfamoso]

She has little cunt complex. She needs to feel powerful so she married a man who she can control, she puts down people who are trying to better themselves-like your friend, and she tries to undermine people she perceives as a threat-like you. $1000 says she talks shit about you too

[guerrilla]

(02-18-2013 04:34 PM)nek Wrote:  

I don't get it. What drives this?

insecurity and personal unhappiness. those are the primary reasons that drive such insane amounts of judgementalism

you don't need people like this in your life if possible. if she's one of those little "won't go away no matter what" cunts, damn, that sucks for you...

[nek]

(02-18-2013 04:39 PM)ElBorrachoInfamoso Wrote:  

She has little cunt complex. She needs to feel powerful so she married a man who she can control, she puts down people who are trying to better themselves-like your friend, and she tries to undermine people she perceives as a threat-like you. $1000 says she talks shit about you too

Oh I know she does.

[nek]

(02-18-2013 04:47 PM)guerrilla Wrote:  

(02-18-2013 04:34 PM)nek Wrote:  

I don't get it. What drives this?

insecurity and personal unhappiness. those are the primary reasons that drive such insane amounts of judgementalism

you don't need people like this in your life if possible. if she's one of those little "won't go away no matter what" cunts, damn, that sucks for you...

Here's the thing, other people won't see it this way because she's not particularly hostile or aggressive in her delivery. She's almost matter-of-fact about it, but I can tell the underlying power play going on.

[gamepadawan]

She's probably just bitter she's with a "beta" male.

[Lemmo]

I don't see the paradox. When a woman is a raging cunt, only a sniveling submissive guy would be able to tolerate her. Her choice is betas or nothing. You are giving too much weight to the substance of what she is saying, as though it is a rational reflection of her preferences rather than just a desire to be a shrew. It isn't as though she'd suddenly become a kind, pleasant person if she was around Clooney and Pitt.

[bacon]

i dont know why you wouldnt just avoid people like that unless you want the drama. if some bitch is coming at me with attiude i will either put her in place so she doesnt do it again or avoid her altogether.

[Blaster]

Does she complain about her husband, too?

If not, it may be a subconscious way of handling her own hypergamy. By knocking down other guys relative to her husband, she feels better about being married to him.

Either way, it's not necessarily out of "bitterness" in fact that seems unlikely given the description of her delivery. It doesn't seem like cuntery or attitude, more likely just social ineptitude. I'd guess she picked up the habit from someone else a long time ago. Nobody ever called her out on it so now she just does it reflexively.

That said, even though it may not be bitterness it's definitely possible that calling her out for the bullshit and taming the hypergamous impulses within would be better accomplished by a less beta husband.

[Days of Broken Arrows]

"A girl that we both know talks about him saying things like "He's always doing pushups, trying to be macho", "he has small man complex". Basically, trying to say he's douchey while at the same time slightly insulting him (this is around other people, not him)."

If she takes note of what he's doing and is going out of her way to talk about him, unprovoked, she has a thing for him. Remember what F. Roger Devlin wrote: true Beta men are invisible to women. If this woman didn't care at all, she'd never bring up the subject.

This sounds like sour grapes to me or buyer's remorse, like she invested in the wrong edition of her husband. In fact, this sounds like a guy I know who married a 6 (maybe) young and then complained about all the women in the office who were "putting their saggy tits in my face all day" or "dressing like sluts." Yeah, right dude.

(02-18-2013 04:34 PM)nek Wrote:  

Been noticing this alot lately, but here's a specific anecdote: I have a friend who's a little on the shorter side but otherwise has alot going for him and works hard to improve himself. A girl that we both know talks about him saying things like "He's always doing pushups, trying to be macho", "he has small man complex". Basically, trying to say he's douchey while at the same time slightly insulting him (this is around other people, not him). With me, I'm witty and she always tries to psychoanalyze what I'm saying in an attempt to find weakness (or at least that's what I think). So she's a real ball-buster, seems like she's always trying to emasculate guys and take them down a notch. Here's the kicker: She's married, I just met her husband, and he's very betaish (while I hate using the alpha/beta terms, I can't think of another one to describe him at the moment). The only thing he'd have on a guy like my friend is that he's taller (barely). It seems to me that in her mind a short guy trying to improve himself is something to be mocked, yet a guy who's clearly not as masculine as my friend is to be more respected because he's not trying to improve himself in the ways my friend is. You'd think a women who loves to call men out and try to prod their weaknesses would be married to Rambo, but her husband is the farthest thing from, yet she seems to be more respectful of him in public. I don't get it. What drives this?

[Blaster]

By the way, ball-busting behind someone's back isn't real ball-busting as practiced by males, which is typically meant as reverse-psychological encouragement, a status display, and a challenge to establish hierarchy. A man shouldn't be talking smack behind another man's back in routine situations. What she's doing is more properly described as gossip.

If you aren't her husband and aren't trying to bang her, my guess for the best way to deal with this (other than just ignoring it entirely) without burning bridges is to contradict her gently with a simple, genuine, incontrovertible compliment such as "he's got great dedication to health and physical fitness. I admire that about him." Don't act irritated, don't accuse her, don't use any gender language and try not to be too obvious about taking "his side." Just refuse to accept her frame and judgment of the guy. So long as you didn't act pissy, she'll shift towards trying harder to win your approval than winning the argument. She may throw a few more judgments your friend's way, just hold your ground and she'll probably fizzle out after a few volleys and start backpedaling and hamsterizing until she says something so lame you both know she doesn't mean it. At that point there's nothing to be gained by arguing any more so just change the subject.

[nek]

(02-18-2013 04:39 PM)ElBorrachoInfamoso Wrote:  

She has little cunt complex. She needs to feel powerful so she married a man who she can control, she puts down people who are trying to better themselves-like your friend, and she tries to undermine people she perceives as a threat-like you. $1000 says she talks shit about you too

I don't get why I would be perceived by her to be a threat.