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Testosterone, Attraction, and the Alpha Attitude
#1

Testosterone, Attraction, and the Alpha Attitude

I know this is a long post, but I promise it’s worth a read. I’ve wanted to give back to this community for a long time, but I never felt like I had anything substantial to contribute. I do now. Hope y’all enjoy.

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When I first took the red pill, I was obsessed with the how. How do men and women attract each other? How can I get a girl interested in me? How can I seal the deal? The tantalizing possibility of a quick fix, along with the instant improvements I saw in eliminating a lot of my anti-game and beta behaviors, left me little time to bother with the why. My first impulse was simply to use game, not necessarily understand it.

That was two years ago. Since then, I’ve become much more interested in why game works. I’ve found that the more I understand about human evolution, biology, and psychology, the better my game becomes. I’d like to share some knowledge that has been particularly helpful to me, especially in formulating a strong inner game. It’s not necessarily new or original (90% of it came from Matt Ridley’s The Red Queen, and Heartiste often links to these scientific studies), but I think it provides a big-picture perspective that isn’t often seen here, and should be especially useful for anyone new to game and the red pill.

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What I’d like to discuss here is the alpha attitude, and why it is so immensely powerful in attracting women. (By “alpha attitude” I mean behavior generally considered to be high in dominance, confidence, and aggression.) Why do women seek out the alpha attitude at all costs, even when it comes attached to the likes of thugs, criminals, and psychopaths? In order to answer these questions, we have to look at human evolution and the nature of sexual selection.

In the past, men who chose young, fertile women with which to mate ended up passing on their genes more frequently than those who chose differently. Over time, nature selected for the men best able to detect a woman’s youth and fertility, and traits like long hair, large breasts, and a .7 waist-to-hip ratio thus became attractive to men. I’m oversimplifying here, but basically, when it comes to picking a sexual partner, all men really care about is youth and beauty.

Because men weren’t forced to invest heavily in their children, all they needed from a partner was a suitable genetic receptacle within which to plant their seed. Women, however, needed TWO things: genes for their children, and resources and protection while they raised them. While women’s primary strategy was to attempt to snag one man who could provide the best mix of both genes and provisioning, deep in their hindbrains lurked a plan B: capture the best genes from a lover, while simultaneously extracting resources from a husband. “Alpha fucks and beta bucks” is the perfect way to summarize this finding.

The beta bucks half of the strategy is no longer a mystery to anyone even remotely familiar with the red pill. Women’s penchant for capturing resources from men is well-known and easily understood, so I won’t discuss it further.

What isn’t very well understood is the other half, i.e. women’s process for capturing quality genes. It’s been well documented that most heterosexual woman are sexually aroused by typically masculine traits: dominance, aggression, confidence, muscularity, specific facial features (like a pronounced chin), body symmetry, low vocal intonation, etc. Studies on short-term mating show that when women have a choice for a one night stand, they overwhelmingly choose the dominant, masculine bad boy over the kind, gentle nice guy. But why? What is it about masculinity that makes it so attractive to women?

Here’s where it gets interesting (albeit increasingly theoretical). During development, the human male brain receives two massive doses of testosterone: one while in the womb (to change the embryo from the default female into a male), and again at puberty, during which many of the masculine traits listed above begin to develop.
An interesting effect of testosterone is that it greatly suppresses the immune system. The higher your T levels, the weaker your body’s natural ability to fight off disease and infection. So any man that possesses highly masculine traits almost by definition must have a stellar immune system, because only those men with quality genes (the “recipe” for a quality immune system) would be able to survive such a massive infusion of testosterone. And because sex is basically an evolutionary adaptation that enables humans to stay one step ahead of diseases and parasites by mixing their genes (a topic too detailed to touch here, but beautifully explained in Ridley’s book), it’s perfectly logical to view masculinity as a genetic fitness indicator for men, in the same way that youth and beauty are indicators for women.

And this is where the alpha attitude comes in. While some of these masculine traits (facial structure, body symmetry) are out of our control, many (vocal intonation, muscularity, behavior) are easily improved upon. Speaking slowly in a deep voice, lifting weights, and adopting dominant behavior in his interactions with women are all things that a man can improve to a great degree over time.

However, I’d argue that behavior (the alpha attitude) is the most important indicator of masculinity there is, as many of the physical traits are influenced by the surrounding environment, whereas behavioral tendencies are more directly tied to genetic expression. In other words, dominance, confidence, and aggression are likely even “sexier” to a woman than huge biceps or a perfectly symmetrical face. Men can build bigger muscles through exercise, or have their beautiful faces scarred in battle, but it’s almost impossible for a man to change his personality. This makes the alpha attitude a much better indicator of genetic fitness than other masculine traits, and thus so incredibly attractive to women.

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The key to the alpha attitude is having strong inner game. Because a woman’s attraction to you is predicated primarily on you acting a certain way, the only way to maintain high levels of attraction is to consistently act in those ways. And the best way to consistently maintain certain behaviors is to make those behaviors part of your default personality. You have to be CONGRUENT in your actions, all day every day.

Put another way, the best way to act alpha is to BE alpha. The best way to act like you don’t give a shit is to GENUINELY not give a shit. The best way to lie to someone is to BELIEVE your own lie. This, of course, is much easier said than done. I don’t have a definitive answer for how to accomplish this, but I think “fake it til you make it” is a pretty reasonable strategy.

For example, a guy without options will obviously benefit from an abundance mentality. But how can he cultivate that mentality when he doesn’t actually have abundance? He ought to start off by pretending. Even though pretending he has options isn’t quite as good as actually HAVING options, it is still an improvement. And over time, that modest improvement will lead to slightly better options with women, which will lead to a bit more of a genuine abundance mentality, which will in turn lead to more options, and so on.

As Morpheus says to Neo, “There’s a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path.” You have to get out there and practice what you know in order to turn theory into reality. Having a solid framework with which to work is the first step, though, and it seems that the more I develop my understanding of how things truly work, the more effective my practice becomes.

Thoughts?
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#2

Testosterone, Attraction, and the Alpha Attitude

Yeah good stuff. I'm currently using online game to load up ... I literally have 12 decent girls in my pipeline. This is double - maybe more than double what I typically have.

I would've thought this overwhelming but I still found myself being a little beta when I only had three or four girls in my pipeline.. Especially when I was really into one of them.

I'm hoping this abundance of options will allow me to call him down to the player we all know I can
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#3

Testosterone, Attraction, and the Alpha Attitude

I'm sceptical about the natural selection you're invoking here. The proof is that the majority of males around are beta - how did they get to be born in the first place, if alpha/beta behaviour is hereditary?
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#4

Testosterone, Attraction, and the Alpha Attitude

Quote: (02-11-2013 07:54 PM)alphanov Wrote:  

I'm sceptical about the natural selection you're invoking here. The proof is that the majority of males around are beta - how did they get to be born in the first place, if alpha/beta behaviour is hereditary?

Good question. Let me see if I can clear this up.

The mating strategy I describe (alpha fucks and beta bucks) truly was (and still is) a "plan B" for women-it was never the norm. Plan A has ALWAYS been to find one man that best fits all her needs. Monogamy is a pretty good compromise between men and women's sexual strategies, and, left to their own devices, most human societies end up embracing and enforcing some sort of monogamy. Cuckolding a mate was generally reserved for the lowest-value women, who had much to gain by cheating, and generally less to lose, as due to their low value their husbands were likely not much of a catch either. So it wasn't common-but it was useful enough that nature "decided" to keep it around.

Thanks to monogamy, most males got a wife (and thus sex) and most women got a husband (and thus resources/protection). Neither sex realized their true imperative (multiple lovers for men, having a husband AND a lover for women), but in compromising everyone was generally better off. Society tended to function pretty well, too.

This knowledge is relevant today because in modern society, women don't really NEED to compromise any more. They can have their cake and eat it too. They have things like Big Government, the local police department, and their employers to provide them with resources and protection-they no longer NEED to exchange sex with a man in order to get them. And when a woman's hindbrain realizes that she doesn't need resources, it focuses on the one thing she does need: quality genes.

100,000 years ago, when your average Suzy Cavewoman interacted with a high-value alpha male (the leader of the tribe, for example), she undoubtedly felt attraction to him. However, the benefits of having an affair with him were usually not high enough to justify the risk (exclusion from the tribe, death at the hand of her vengeful husband, etc.).

But today? There's almost no downside to sleeping with the hot frat boy/drug dealer/bouncer. It's another case of our genetic programming leading us astray in an environment for which it wasn't designed.
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#5

Testosterone, Attraction, and the Alpha Attitude

Quote: (02-11-2013 06:30 PM)Isaac Jordan Wrote:  

but it’s almost impossible for a man to change his personality.

LOL

Pretty much all this discussion of Alpha, Beta, Omega, (and Sigma, thanks Mark!)...is bs.

The club scene, the bar scene, day game =! battle field, board room, or the Serengeti.

For all of you into this bs fantasy of biological determinism, face the facts. If those theories are true, then you'll never get the girl, because you never got the girl in the 1st place.

The real alphas, the naturals, whatever superman you want to envision exists outside of your frame of reference and always has. And always will, and per your own philosophy, you can't be born with his mindset, and you can't lift weights or enjoy extreme sports to get there.

Yet somehow there are 7 billion people on the planet. That cadre of alpha elite must have some pretty tired dicks.

Bitches cream themselves over gangly rocker boys, poets, artists, chefs, mafioso, Compton G's, male models, Bobcat Goldthwait.....

Indeed, the same way you might want to run through a few blonds, maybe a Japanese chick would be nice for a change of pace, and finish it off with a some Senegalese to round out your weak.

If the mind isn't malleable
If behavior isn't changeable

Then why are you even here? Why not just accept your fate?

Meanwhile, I'm going to go bag some bitches in my unfortunate 5'11 body.

WIA
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#6

Testosterone, Attraction, and the Alpha Attitude

Do you really equate BOUNCERS with tribal leaders?
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#7

Testosterone, Attraction, and the Alpha Attitude

Quote: (02-12-2013 12:09 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Quote: (02-11-2013 06:30 PM)Isaac Jordan Wrote:  

but it’s almost impossible for a man to change his personality.

LOL

Pretty much all this discussion of Alpha, Beta, Omega, (and Sigma, thanks Mark!)...is bs.

The club scene, the bar scene, day game =! battle field, board room, or the Serengeti.

For all of you into this bs fantasy of biological determinism, face the facts. If those theories are true, then you'll never get the girl, because you never got the girl in the 1st place.

The real alphas, the naturals, whatever superman you want to envision exists outside of your frame of reference and always has. And always will, and per your own philosophy, you can't be born with his mindset, and you can't lift weights or enjoy extreme sports to get there.

Yet somehow there are 7 billion people on the planet. That cadre of alpha elite must have some pretty tired dicks.

Bitches cream themselves over gangly rocker boys, poets, artists, chefs, mafioso, Compton G's, male models, Bobcat Goldthwait.....

Indeed, the same way you might want to run through a few blonds, maybe a Japanese chick would be nice for a change of pace, and finish it off with a some Senegalese to round out your weak.

If the mind isn't malleable
If behavior isn't changeable

Then why are you even here? Why not just accept your fate?

Meanwhile, I'm going to go bag some bitches in my unfortunate 5'11 body.

WIA

You're a solid poster WIA, I respect the hell outta you...but did you even read the rest of my post?

My entire point was that personality and behavior matter in attracting women, and that even though it's difficult you can definitely change both of them for the better. I explained why personality and behavior actually matter so much from a biological perspective, and then concluded with advice on how to work on changing your personality through your behavior.

Almost impossible = possible, but really really difficult

Am I misunderstanding you?
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#8

Testosterone, Attraction, and the Alpha Attitude

Quote: (02-12-2013 12:38 AM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  

Do you really equate BOUNCERS with tribal leaders?

Dominance is situational. Is a bouncer physically ejecting an unruly drunk out of his nightclub really that much different, in terms of behavior, than a tribal leader fighting another tribe member? In either situation, a female nearby would simply observe one man physically dominating and controlling another, and react accordingly.
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#9

Testosterone, Attraction, and the Alpha Attitude

Quote: (02-11-2013 07:54 PM)alphanov Wrote:  

I'm sceptical about the natural selection you're invoking here. The proof is that the majority of males around are beta - how did they get to be born in the first place, if alpha/beta behaviour is hereditary?

There are two processes at work - natural selection and sexual selection. Many alphas may have not survived to reproduce because their aggression/adventurousness caused them to be killed in their teens. In some niches, betas do better than alphas.

Also, there are the "sneaky fuckers" - the betas who mate with the alpha's females behind his back.

The book Sperm Wars makes it clear that the vagina is designed to facilitate competition between different guys' sperm. Alpha sperm is not necessarily superior to beta sperm.

It's so multi-factorial that there are no simple answers.
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#10

Testosterone, Attraction, and the Alpha Attitude

Beta's have always lived longer in history because they avoided conflict, Alpha's always had someone after their top spot. Of course once their top spot was taken by another, that another would most of the time also try to murder any spawn that the top dog might have had, case in point some of the greatest general's and conquerors of the world (Alexander The Great, Julius Caesar, princes in the tower). Only one who did really well was Genghis Khan as his horde impregnated hundreds of thousands of women across Asia.

Don't forget to check out my latest post on Return of Kings - 6 Things Indian Guys Need To Understand About Game

Desi Casanova
The 3 Bromigos
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#11

Testosterone, Attraction, and the Alpha Attitude

Quote: (02-12-2013 12:46 AM)Isaac Jordan Wrote:  

You're a solid poster WIA, I respect the hell outta you...but did you even read the rest of my post?

My entire point was that personality and behavior matter in attracting women, and that even though it's difficult you can definitely change both of them for the better. I explained why personality and behavior actually matter so much from a biological perspective, and then concluded with advice on how to work on changing your personality through your behavior.

Almost impossible = possible, but really really difficult

Am I misunderstanding you?

Upon re-read, perhaps I was harsh, I apologize for that.

In short my disagreement is that you're giving the evo-psych theory far too much power, and you're ignoring everyday evidence of the contrary.

1) Manly men don't always get the girl, more often than not they fail.

The warrior class in our society, those men that embody the essence of what you're talking about, are often as clueless and dateless as other so-called betas.

2) Under your theory, "girly" men should never get the girl, or it should be infrequent at best

Yet there are plenty of examples of "weak", emotive, type guys that do well with women.

3) The alpha/beta/omega paradigm does a huge disservice as it gets people to worship the concept of nature (hence how much it attracts the HBD nuts). Failing that, the role of environment becomes the focus of discussion.

4) The theory poses women (or at least their genes) as demigods, with the ability to sniff out alpha in seconds, weigh her options rationally, and trade up the second that her horizons change.

If you're out in the field, you realize how you need to handle evo psych, and you see its myriad failings. Slam Poets running through chicks by pinging their emotions...Roided up muscle heads that stay in the corner drinking beers with the bros, pretty face manchildren coming to the spot with chicks on each arm never able to use his social proof to swing a new chick, Well Dressed Assassins walking through a club with Martini in hand, and leave alone...

The guy who's fucking tonight, is the guy who is spitting game tonight.

Game is not about nature nor about nurture, it is about agency - the power and the will of the individual man to get what he wants, irrespective of how the deck is stacked him.

Game says the 5'4 dude can tighten up his verbal chops that he can amuse his way into a girls pants, despite the fact that there were plenty of guys taller than him, and she definitely faces social pressure to not even be seen with a short guy.

The "Fat Arab"...the jovial middle eastern guy who smells of garlic, who's very needy, is some how able to talk his way into some young snatch.

Yet the shaved head Serbian psychopath in his skin tight mock neck, can't pull a Mariya to save his life.

We've all met these walking contradictions of evolutionary psychology
- guys who should kill but don't
- guys who shouldn't kill but do

Discussion of evo-psych can be useful in explaining the irrationality of chicks, but much like Karl Marx or Ayn Rand, Evo Psych ends up being a hammer that sees everything as a nail.

I think these arguments about evo psych as it pertains to the actual practice of bedding women are harmful. Once you get on this "scientific" train, you don't get off of it.

WIA
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#12

Testosterone, Attraction, and the Alpha Attitude

Quote: (02-12-2013 06:48 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Upon re-read, perhaps I was harsh, I apologize for that.

In short my disagreement is that you're giving the evo-psych theory far too much power, and you're ignoring everyday evidence of the contrary.

1) Manly men don't always get the girl, more often than not they fail.

The warrior class in our society, those men that embody the essence of what you're talking about, are often as clueless and dateless as other so-called betas.

2) Under your theory, "girly" men should never get the girl, or it should be infrequent at best

Yet there are plenty of examples of "weak", emotive, type guys that do well with women.

3) The alpha/beta/omega paradigm does a huge disservice as it gets people to worship the concept of nature (hence how much it attracts the HBD nuts). Failing that, the role of environment becomes the focus of discussion.

4) The theory poses women (or at least their genes) as demigods, with the ability to sniff out alpha in seconds, weigh her options rationally, and trade up the second that her horizons change.

WIA

I get what you're saying, absolutely. I'm not trying to use evo-psych as some sort of iron-clad rule on how to game, nor am I saying that environment doesn't play a gigantic role, because it does. (I can understand how I might have come off that way, but it was not my intent.)

All I'm trying to provide is a deeper look into how acting a certain way (confident, dominant, aggressive) can make a man more attractive to a woman than not acting in that way. It's analogous to saying that being thin will make a woman more attractive to men than being fat. Will being skinny ALWAYS get a girl the man she wants? Of course not, like you say, there are plenty of other variables in play. But will being thin make her MORE attractive than being fat? Absolutely, and for good reasons.

Just like being young and thin will often (not always) make a woman more attractive to a man, acting confidently and dominantly will often (not always) make a man more attractive to a woman. And just like there is a biological reason for the former, there is a biological reason for the latter. It's just more difficult to intuit, because whereas men can easily describe what turns them on (physical characteristics), women have a more difficult time understanding the situational and contextual interactions that so characterize their sexual attraction.

Women may not always act on that attraction, and they may often pick men without those characteristics (like post-wall sluts settling down with betas). However, just like most men will feel arousal for a young, slim, large-breasted woman, so too will most women feel arousal for a confident, dominant man, even if they don't act on that arousal. That's the whole point of sexual arousal-you don't control who you're attracted to, you just ARE.

I think we both agree that a man can do certain things and act a certain way around a woman in order to "push her buttons". No one here is debating the fact that being high status, acting confidently, having lots of money, or being ripped will generally make you a more attractive man. All I'm pointing out is that most people stop there, at the HOW. Guys on this forum spend 95% of their time talking about the HOW. I'm simply trying to explain the WHY. And just like the question "Why are men attracted to young, beautiful women?" can be answered using biology and man's evolutionary history, so too can "Why are women attracted to masculine, dominant men?"
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