[TheRookie]

The silver lining of harem collapse is all the free time to hit the weights harder, read, eat good food, and salivate over the new pussy you are going to find sooner or later.

One of the major downsides to being a player is discovering how few women are worthy of serious commitment, at least in the United States. For those of us who want to have kids, there are very few women worthy of a commitment. And even if you find one, what are you going to do, marry her? With the laws and court system the way it is, it feels like Russian roulette with three bullets in the chamber, not one.

[Architekt]

(02-15-2013 07:58 PM)TheRookie Wrote:  

The silver lining of harem collapse is all the free time to hit the weights harder, read, eat good food, and salivate over the new pussy you are going to find sooner or later.

One of the major downsides to being a player is discovering how few women are worthy of serious commitment, at least in the United States. For those of us who want to have kids, there are very few women worthy of a commitment. And even if you find one, what are you going to do, marry her? With the laws and court system the way it is, it feels like Russian roulette with three bullets in the chamber, not one.

Also, you're playing by yourself

[20Nation]

I don't like how as you get better in game, it gets more difficult to get hard for average girls. And I don't like my inner voice that tells me to conquer... more girls. OK I lied, I love to conquer

[NoBalls]

The worst part of being a player(wannabe) is that after years of trying I never got that good with women. I'll get an occasional easy lay followed by a dry spell followed by another easy lay followed by a dry spell. I get laid often enough to keep me from quitting but not enough new girls to feel like I arrived at the level I want to be at. The whole thing is kind of like a big tease where you are thrown a bone by the universe once in a while.

The next worst part if that I feel like I have a need for new pussy. I get bored so quickly of a woman after having sex with her once or twice and I just don't want to see her again. I don't see how I can ever have a healthy long term relationship like being like this.

[Doulos2Game]

Hardest part is not being understood. My close relatives don't understand why most of the time they see me it is with a different girl in my arm.

In my eyes I am a god. In everyone's else I am a dog.

[Menace]

Being a little worried that if you make out with girl and she is into you, you won't see her again if you didn't try and go for bang that night.

[Vitriol]

I guess much of this comes down to your own personality and desires. I don't really get "lonely."

I also see my blue-pill friends being entirely consumed by working to buy things for the sake of their girlfriends then spending their down time going to Bed Bath and Beyond or something. I know myself well enough to know that it is impossible for me to be happy living that kind of life. It really is a crushing existence to have no freedom or autonomy. That's why married men get that look in their eyes...

[Parlay44]

(02-16-2013 06:02 AM)20Nation Wrote:  

I don't like how as you get better in game, it gets more difficult to get hard for average girls. And I don't like my inner voice that tells me to conquer... more girls. OK I lied, I love to conquer

I know exactly what you mean. For me I have a hard time coming with average chicks. I'll take the easy lay any day of the week though. I end up doing dirty things with them in order to get off.

The chase is what makes it exciting and fun. It makes you come much harder once you finally get it in.

[michelin]

Worse than Harem collapse, is what I would call "Harem shortcircuit": one or two of the girls makes a (public) scandal, before dropping out, ususally because she finds out about your harem. Worst case scenario is she damages your career, family or property.

[michelin]

(02-07-2013 06:42 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

I think the worst part of being a player is knowing that you'll never be able to have it all.

If you want hot girls, the likelihood of having a fufilling relationship is low.

But if you want a fulfilling relationship, the likelihood of having a hot girl is low.

Gold. This post makes me wonder why the world doesn't have more Samseaus

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

I agree with Gio' "we can have it all" sentiment. With dedication, tremendous gains are possible. Perhaps I wouldn't say that everything is possible, but it's certainly a whole lot, and more than enough to make anyone happy.

But what of those millions who can't have it all (in fact, those who can't have even one half, one quarter, or just a few tiny bits)? Those who have never had the opportunity to discover game, or they have been "blue-pill" brainwashed too thoroughly, or both. I am thankful for having left such a fate behind me, but it often pains me when I look back and see all the carnage still going there.

Is there even any point in wondering about that? Am I crazy for caring about those who won't ever have anything?

[babababalot]

when you start dating a chick that's in the 8-9 territory, plus really decent chick, and she doesn't want a guy that's a player.

can either lie/remain silent or tell her and lose out on a chick most guys would gf in an instant if given the chance.

some chicks are really great, inside and out. but being a player means you open yourself to losing them.

[Veloce]

edit

[Veloce]

(02-10-2013 04:20 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

(02-07-2013 06:42 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

I think the worst part of being a player is knowing that you'll never be able to have it all.

I like to think that players CAN have it all.

We can have a loving relationship with a woman if we want to. We can have children if we want to. We can move to another country if we want to. We can bang young hotties if we want to. We can do anything we want!

Its our player knowledge and training that allows us to take advantage of these options and craft a lifestyle that suits us best.

Isn't that what powerful men have done throughout history? Have a loving family but also bang hot pussy on the side!

I'm not recommending marriage, I'm just saying that if you want love, you can have it, you might have to go to another country to get it, but, its there if we want it.

We can focus our efforts on being a full time playboy, go out every night, approach like crazy, move to New York City, get buffed, dress well, etc.

We can go to easy places like SEA, South America, Dominican Republic, Philippines, etc.

We can integrate ourselves into other cultures like Roosh has done in Europe. We can literally identify the type of woman we want and then relocate to where that type of woman is in abundance.

We can get married. We can have kids.

We can do it all. If we want to.

(02-07-2013 04:32 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  

Gio and Mechanico-no one taught me these things about women, I think there was some inherent desire to have a deep, romantic relationship with a woman.

I don't entirely disagree with this. I think we ARE born with a certain need to connect with others.

That said, I will offer a different perspective just for the sake of healthy debate.

(02-07-2013 04:32 PM) Wrote:  

that's not something that needs to be learned from a parent.

I sort of disagree here. I think we do learn loving, bonding, connecting, and socializing from our parents.

We are not born as loving people. We have to learn how to love.

Look at kids who do not grow up in a loving environment. They often grow up with issues in giving and receiving love. Kids who get abused by their parents often grow up to be abusers.

We learn from our parents/environment/upbringing.

Loving and connecting with women is not something we are automatically born with.

(02-07-2013 04:32 PM) Wrote:  

no one taught me these things about women,

I don't know? I think someone had to teach you..?

You had to be influenced (taught) by your family. Just watching and observing them as a child certainly shaped your perspective. The culture influences us in many ways. All the movies, tv shows, videos, songs, etc.

School is another influence. Peers are another influence. Growing up around blue pill families and social groups is a big influence.

My opinion -- The blue pill media and culture taught you what "romance" and "love" is.

Look at North Korea:

"They will spend their entire lives being conditioned as beasts of burden, so brainwashed that they will turn in their own parents for trying to escape and feel they did the right thing while watching their mother get hung."

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-18628.html

Kids do not learn to love and value their mother. Parent-child relationships are different. "Love" is different. They are raised different. They are taught different.

My point -- Love, compassion, empathy, etc. are things that we have to teach children. We are not automatically born with these things

----

Playboys have to create their own playboy-friendly mind-set. The culture/media will often brainwash you with blue pill beliefs. Your parents will often want you to settle down. Friends and peers will mostly do what the society expects them to do.

Playboys think different. You have to brainwash yourself so no one else does!

Late response, sorry Gio.

Quite interesting perspective on love you bring up. I'd refer you to "The Art of Loving" by Erich Fromm. I'm a huge fan of his, and I'd rather not paraphrase him or do him injustice by giving him a one-sentence summary. I did read this great paragraph on his wiki though:

Quote:

"Fromm considered love to be an interpersonal creative capacity rather than an emotion, and he distinguished this creative capacity from what he considered to be various forms of narcissistic neuroses and sado-masochistic tendencies that are commonly held out as proof of "true love." Indeed, Fromm viewed the experience of "falling in love" as evidence of one's failure to understand the true nature of love, which he believed always had the common elements of care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge."

I'd consider Fromm highly red-pill; he consistently extolls man's ability of reason and objective analysis over all else. To see him apply this sensibility to love and interpersonal relationships is pretty amazing. His other books are, IMO, required reading as well, especially "To Have, or To Be?" and "The Heart of Man".

Anyway, my reason for bringing up Erich Fromm is he defines several different kinds of love. Parental Love, Interpersonal Love, etc. By the end of the book you'll most likely come to the conclusion that 99% of the population knows absolutely nothing about Interpersonal Love. That it's mostly possessive and a projection of egocentric neuroses.

At it's deepest level; yes, I agree with you that true love must be learned. That it's knowledge that must be applied and practiced, like learning a language or an instrument. This goes completely counter to the western concept of love which states that love is some mystical emotion floating around in the ether and once you "get it", you "know it" and you "can't do anything about it".

If I really sit back and analyze things, I admit, I probably didn't know shit about love at 18. I barely do now. It was probably an IMMENSE amount of attachment, a type of incredibly strong attachment that went beyond my own attachment for life itself. It's funny that I would feel such a thing, it's even funnier to think about the culture that exists that would allow and encourage such things to happen.

I felt, for sure, the definition of western society's version of love. So I'll amend my statement: I still claim that no-one taught me how to love. But an even better and more accurate statement would be, "No one taught me how to love WELL".

Man, shit's getting all psycho-therapy in here

[Anon-A-Moose]

I just don't think I have the energy to be that sort of high-profile kinda cat. I find it difficult to separate "make yourself what women want" and "be who I truly am". I'm NOT that high-energy outgoing person, I'm NOT overly sociable, I'm much more laid back. But the Type A personality traits, that fucking "I have to be the best" drive kicks in, so it creates a weird offset. That self-identity crisis can really throw me off--being who I am versus who I wish I was if only for the results of being that person.

I wish I'd have learned game ten years ago. I've been meaning to do a thread of the "horrible effects of joining that evil PUA site", like, you know, losing 80 pounds, looking better, being healthier, having (in a strange way) more honest and satisfying relationships with people, and reigniting my old desire for travel...all those horrible evil things that game does to you. Even if it never got me a single piece of ass I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

[Nomad77]

For me the worse aspects are:

1. The sheer amount of grunt work involved. 80% of approaches will amount to next to nothing.
2. At any point in time you can lose a prospect and all the work that went into her and never know why.
3. There is no consistency: something, someplace can work for awhile then suddenly stop working.
4. The more you approach the lower the quality has to be.

But by far, the worse thing is: the juice is rarely worth the squeeze in America.

[Anon-A-Moose]

(02-19-2013 12:21 AM)Nomad77 Wrote:  

For me the worse aspects are:

1. The sheer amount of grunt work involved. 80% of approaches will amount to next to nothing.
2. At any point in time you can lose a prospect and all the work that went into her and never know why.
3. There is no consistency: something, someplace can work for awhile then suddenly stop working.
4. The more you approach the lower the quality has to be.

But by far, the worse thing is: the juice is rarely worth the squeeze in America.

I'd say all of those with me as well. In fact I think I might quote that.

[Christian McQueen]

Worst part?

I love the life. Your eyes are opened to how women REALLY are, not how 99.9% of men PERCEIVE them to be.

The world is my playground in regards to women. If I'm in the mood for asian I can pick up an asian. Latina, no problem. Etc etc.

You guys who worry about being lonely? Well it's lonely at the top. If you heart desires companionship that much then become such an incredible player you have a different girl with you EVERY night.

Just like sports in order to become the BEST you have to have some lonely nights. You have to go home emptyhanded MULTIPLE times until your game is superb and EVEN then you might go home emptyhanded.


I woulnd't even call it being a 'player'; I would call it being a real man.

Man up gents and accept the lifestyle you have chosen for if you turn your back on it and decide to settle down with one girl you will ALWAYS wonder...What if? Every hot girl that walks by you'll wonder: Is she better than my gf/wife in bed? Can I get her? Can I get her heart wrapped up?

Being in the game and then trying to turn it off is akin to being a criminal at one point and then going straight. You will always still sit in a restaurant with your back to the wall and facing the door, you'll always scope the exits when in a club/lounge/you name it.

It's an Art that becomes an Instinct.

Game on Gents.

For myself I already got married...

To the Game.

[EasyMoney]

(02-15-2013 04:25 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

(02-11-2013 04:32 PM)EasyMoney Wrote:  

I get where you're coming from, but I don't completely agree with you.

EasyMoney,

Thanks for the detailed and insightful response.

I'm inspired to go through your post and offer a few thoughts:

(02-11-2013 04:32 PM)EasyMoney Wrote:  

I look at game as a platonic form. It's an ideal that we aspire to, but it ultimately doesn't always work. The concepts and core lessons of game are spot on, but the other reality is that some of us have a first down on the 5th yard line when we come to game but others haven't even put their cleats on yet. Some guys are square jawed muscular charismatic cowboys and some are overweight spergs. To say that the sperg can have it all like the cowboy because of game is to set someone up for a big disappointment.

Let me tell story..

I once met a guy off this forum, I will not name names, he was shorter then me, not as good looking as me, skinnier then me, didn't dress as well as me, didn't have as good of hygiene as I did, etc, etc. His game was not great. The dude was like a 4 or 5. I am more like 6 or 7.

We got to talking. He was rich. I think he inherited alot of real estate. He didn't have to work. He just traveled around the world banging women. I was jealous of him!

I had better game but he had a better LIFE!!!

YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE GAME!!! Any of us can go to Russia or EE/FSU and if we have money, we can pull beautiful young girls.

Roosh said in Russia they have beautiful young girls with much older, rich businessmen, etc.

Money and power might be better weapons then game in terms of getting laid!

My point: Even guys without game can have it all. They can go to Colombia, Brazil, Thailand, Philippines, D.R., Russia, China etc, etc. They will have the sexual adventures of a rock star. More women then they can handle. And strong game is not even necessary.

Roosh says beta game works in EE.

It's not who has the best game.. IT'S WHO HAS THE BEST STRATEGY!

(02-11-2013 04:32 PM)EasyMoney Wrote:  

I don't think I can have it all until I actually become a high value, high status man.

Duhh!!

(02-11-2013 04:32 PM)EasyMoney Wrote:  

I'm 25. I love the fact that I have a solid 15 years to game, gain experience with women, and then maximize my chances at landing a sexually as well as emotionally satisfying relationship with a younger woman.

I would start a rock band and get into acting.

(02-11-2013 04:32 PM)EasyMoney Wrote:  

But the irony is if I do, that just validating the core principles of game.

I don't see irony. I see the beauty of mother nature at work.

(02-11-2013 04:32 PM)EasyMoney Wrote:  

I know that hypergamy is my enemy

Hypergamy is also your friend. Hypergamy is why game works. Girls want powerful men, so we become powerful and learn how to project power. If it wasn't for hypergamy, hot chicks would be with nice guys just because they were nice..? Chicks want better looking kids, with more height, more muscles, more money, more status, etc. The more attractive we become, the more hypergamy works to helps us.

(02-11-2013 04:32 PM)EasyMoney Wrote:  

All the guys who get it "all" are usually famous, powerful, good looking, in other words guys who got a head start because they're naturally alpha or just really fucking lucky in some regard.

Yes, some guys are just lucky. It happens. People win the lottery.

(02-11-2013 04:32 PM)EasyMoney Wrote:  

Genuine desire for a man from a hot woman is something that will be out of reach for most men

In America, absolutely.

In Colombia, Brazil, Thailand, Philippines, D.R., Ukraine, FSU, Russia, China, Carribean, Africa, Mid-East, Central America -- if you have value and wealth -- I think some hot woman will have a genuine desire for you.

A man with value and wealth can have it all.

A man with value, wealth, game, looks, status, power -- Can certainly have it all.

(In theory)

(Life is funny and has a way of keeping us humble. Shit happens. We have to be careful. I don't know if I will "get it all" but I know damn sure I will fight to the death for good food, good water, good sleep, good young pussy, freedom, sports, music, art, game, friends, family, creativity, expression) (If I can enjoy these things, I might say, "I have it all")

(I don't think its easy, but, I think its doable)

Thanks for your reply Gio. You bring up some good points. You're right about the idea of strategy, and about women from abroad. I've pretty much already decided that if/when I'm serious about finding a woman to have a family with - I will do so outside of the US or at least look for a foreign girl (or the rare uncorrupted by feminism american unicorn girl).

I sometimes forget that there's an entire world outside of America with different cultures and my perspective on not really being able to have it all doesn't consider that.

I tend to be a glass half empty kind of person, but I'm starting to change that about myself. You're perspective is more of a glass half full angle, which is great. I want to be more like that.

It's funny that you mention starting a rock band. When I finished college a few years ago that's what I was trying to do, but its fucking hard to find practical creative partnerships. I'm surprised any band has ever made it. I decided that I wasn't going to be one of those late twenty something aspiring musicians. LA has too many of those and its just depressing. I'm gonna start law school later this year with the goal of going into the music/concert biz from the legal side. But deep down I'll always yearn to be an artist - I can't deny that. I still love making music but at this point in my life I gotta move on.

[Nomad77]

Read this article by Samseau to understand the role money and looks play. While you can't change your basic look you can do a lot to make the best of it, just look at Neil Strauss.

http://www.returnofkings.com/999/passive...ctive-game

[DarkTriad]

(02-07-2013 02:16 PM)Nascimento Wrote:  

The hardest part for me is handling the emotional roller coaster. Is this temporary, is it something that you just become resistant to over time?

If Roller Coasters bother you, an elite player can decide not to have one.

You have your number one girl, giving you everything theses other guys WISHED they got from a loving wife. Then a few sidepieces that come and go (some of whom you'll be widly in love with), and then the constant supply of new pussy (which refreshes your sidepiece supply).

You know who is really on a Roller Coaster? The married guy that hasn't flirted or gone out in 5 years that has his wife threaten to leave him or dry up the pussy supply. THAT GUY is on a fucking roller coaster. You just don't know about it because he's not even allowed to complain about it.

[DarkTriad]

(02-18-2013 09:23 AM)babababalot Wrote:  

when you start dating a chick that's in the 8-9 territory, plus really decent chick, and she doesn't want a guy that's a player.

can either lie/remain silent or tell her and lose out on a chick most guys would gf in an instant if given the chance.

some chicks are really great, inside and out. but being a player means you open yourself to losing them.

Still bluepill thinking. You're still open to losing them even if (perhaps especially if) you GF them.

Having sidepieces keeps you from being the needy Herb that will drive her away.

You can partake of exactly as much of the pleasures of a conventional relationship as YOU enjoy. No more, no less. Game i about being able to give yourself OPTIONS.

"A man should be able to love faithfully or love recklessly according ot his needs".

[Nomad77]

In my experience, and I have some, I have "cheated" on ALL of my girlfriends and wife. A woman do not leave you because you have other women, they leave you because you stop loving them or treating them equally good as you treat the other women. As long as you love and treat your main woman, equal or a little better preferably, than you do the other women she will be happy and stay. This is the BIG mistake most men make. They get a new girl, go crazy about her, and forget about their wife or girlfriend.

[Giovonny]

(02-18-2013 08:22 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  

Late response, sorry Gio.

No problem. Thanks for the interesting response and book recommendation.

(02-18-2013 08:22 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  

By the end of the book you'll most likely come to the conclusion that 99% of the population knows absolutely nothing about Interpersonal Love. That it's mostly possessive and a projection of egocentric neuroses.

Yes, I agree, most people who say they are "in love" are actually just projecting possessiveness and neediness. Others just happen to have great chemistry.

What is love??? Who knows? I don't.

(02-18-2013 08:22 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  

This goes completely counter to the western concept of love which states that love is some mystical emotion floating around

Most of us are taught what "love" is by our parents, movies, music, television, etc. Most of it is very "blue pill". Not many of us had a "red pill" upbringing.

We all understand and define "love" in our own way.

Maybe that's why I believe that I can have it all. Because I define what "having it all" means for me.

To me, "having it all" just means having the freedom and finances to do whatever the fuck I want.

As a player, I am free to pursue these things with all my energy , there is nothing holding me back. I see no reason why I can't have it all. For most of my life, I have had it all.

I have loved and been loved by some great women. I have also had crazy porno sex with many hot sluts. Most of this was all on my terms. I can't complain.

[Giovonny]

(02-19-2013 06:24 PM)EasyMoney Wrote:  

Thanks for your reply Gio. You bring up some good points. You're right about the idea of strategy, and about women from abroad. I've pretty much already decided that if/when I'm serious about finding a woman to have a family with - I will do so outside of the US or at least look for a foreign girl (or the rare uncorrupted by feminism american unicorn girl).

I sometimes forget that there's an entire world outside of America with different cultures and my perspective on not really being able to have it all doesn't consider that.

I tend to be a glass half empty kind of person, but I'm starting to change that about myself. You're perspective is more of a glass half full angle, which is great. I want to be more like that.

It's funny that you mention starting a rock band. When I finished college a few years ago that's what I was trying to do, but its fucking hard to find practical creative partnerships. I'm surprised any band has ever made it. I decided that I wasn't going to be one of those late twenty something aspiring musicians. LA has too many of those and its just depressing. I'm gonna start law school later this year with the goal of going into the music/concert biz from the legal side. But deep down I'll always yearn to be an artist - I can't deny that. I still love making music but at this point in my life I gotta move on.

Interesting stuff.

Sounds like you are on a good career path. That is more important then girls. You can always be a lawyer who plays music on the side. Don't ignore your artistic passions.

The other thing I want to tell you is this...

Don't let the "manosphere" shape your perspective. The manosphere is mostly guys who are unsuccessful with women. Their perspective is jaded. Many are bitter and butthurt. Many have grown to hate women because women don't like them. Don't allow these types to influence you.

Gain real world experience off the computer. Then, come to your own conclusions.

As you know, most people are unhappy, obese, and beta. You don't wanna be like "most people". You wanna be better then "most people". So, you have to think and act a little differently then "most people".

For most of my life, people have been trying to convince me that "the glass was half empty". I never argued. I just said, "more water for me", and took the entire glass for myself. If that makes sense..