Quote: (01-13-2013 07:20 PM)theycallmebob Wrote:
I've been noticing more and more lately that I haven't been catching a number of shit tests a girl I have a thing going with has thrown at me. I game her enough in other ways and she's fairly traditional so she hasn't gotten bored and strayed so far (as far as I know), but every time I think back on interactions and notice a shit test that I didn't pick up on at all or a power play that I didn't necessary make the right moves on, I mentally kick myself a bit. I do alright at parties and one night lays, but maintaining frame control and consistently being aloof/playful with my answers is difficult when I'm spending a lot of time with someone. I just revert to normal conversation mode, with boring, straight answers and, very occasionally, defending myself when weakness is attacked.
It goes without saying that I'm not a natural with women, and am (unfortunately) naturally pretty beta.
What are some ways I can practice catching shit tests WHENEVER they're thrown and maintaining the aloof/playful frame at all times?
Continue doing what you're doing in terms of being social and talking to women, but keep in mind:
1. IT'S GOOD to get shit tested. If she ISN'T then it's because she's not that interested in you, she's put you in the harmless zone or in more rarer-cases she's incredibly shy and afraid to overstep boundaries. The last one IS a rare case though.
2. Ignoring shit tests is not bad. It sounds like some of the times you have ignored them, that's the default basic route that a lot of natural alphas take. Don't confuse basic for bad either, it works just as effective as the first one.
So with that being said, I'm one who likes to accept shit tests, or play the socially awkward card for laughs. A recent example, "I bet you're a mommas boy aren't you?" to which I cockily responded, "Fuck yes! You can eat your microwavable noodles while I'm enjoying a nice home cooked meal." That results in a laugh.
Alternatively, an example of the socially awkward card, a girl asked me "Is that what you tell girls to get into their pants?" to which I cold-faced responded "No. I'm a virgin. I've never touched a girl before. I'm hurt." Followed by a cocky smirk. She laughed pretty hard. Keep in mind though, that sort of response can only work when you've already established a sexual and dominant frame, but it works wonder for laughs and building comfort.
Also, and
more importantly, the only way you will get used to maintain the aloof playful frame is by putting yourself in situations where it is tested. Instead of being defensive, try to think hard about something else, something stupid even and focus on that and don't say anything and move the topic to something else until you get comfortable with the idea of women testing you. They will usually test you if you tease them enough, and use that as your gauge for when to expect it. The more you get shit tested, and the more you put yourself in that line of fire, the more you will pick up on it and be able to ignore or deflect it.
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