[theycallmebob]

I've been noticing more and more lately that I haven't been catching a number of shit tests a girl I have a thing going with has thrown at me. I game her enough in other ways and she's fairly traditional so she hasn't gotten bored and strayed so far (as far as I know), but every time I think back on interactions and notice a shit test that I didn't pick up on at all or a power play that I didn't necessary make the right moves on, I mentally kick myself a bit. I do alright at parties and one night lays, but maintaining frame control and consistently being aloof/playful with my answers is difficult when I'm spending a lot of time with someone. I just revert to normal conversation mode, with boring, straight answers and, very occasionally, defending myself when weakness is attacked.
It goes without saying that I'm not a natural with women, and am (unfortunately) naturally pretty beta.
What are some ways I can practice catching shit tests WHENEVER they're thrown and maintaining the aloof/playful frame at all times?

[RouteBackwards]

(01-13-2013 07:20 PM)theycallmebob Wrote:  

I've been noticing more and more lately that I haven't been catching a number of shit tests a girl I have a thing going with has thrown at me. I game her enough in other ways and she's fairly traditional so she hasn't gotten bored and strayed so far (as far as I know), but every time I think back on interactions and notice a shit test that I didn't pick up on at all or a power play that I didn't necessary make the right moves on, I mentally kick myself a bit. I do alright at parties and one night lays, but maintaining frame control and consistently being aloof/playful with my answers is difficult when I'm spending a lot of time with someone. I just revert to normal conversation mode, with boring, straight answers and, very occasionally, defending myself when weakness is attacked.
It goes without saying that I'm not a natural with women, and am (unfortunately) naturally pretty beta.
What are some ways I can practice catching shit tests WHENEVER they're thrown and maintaining the aloof/playful frame at all times?

Continue doing what you're doing in terms of being social and talking to women, but keep in mind:

1. IT'S GOOD to get shit tested. If she ISN'T then it's because she's not that interested in you, she's put you in the harmless zone or in more rarer-cases she's incredibly shy and afraid to overstep boundaries. The last one IS a rare case though.

2. Ignoring shit tests is not bad. It sounds like some of the times you have ignored them, that's the default basic route that a lot of natural alphas take. Don't confuse basic for bad either, it works just as effective as the first one.

So with that being said, I'm one who likes to accept shit tests, or play the socially awkward card for laughs. A recent example, "I bet you're a mommas boy aren't you?" to which I cockily responded, "Fuck yes! You can eat your microwavable noodles while I'm enjoying a nice home cooked meal." That results in a laugh.

Alternatively, an example of the socially awkward card, a girl asked me "Is that what you tell girls to get into their pants?" to which I cold-faced responded "No. I'm a virgin. I've never touched a girl before. I'm hurt." Followed by a cocky smirk. She laughed pretty hard. Keep in mind though, that sort of response can only work when you've already established a sexual and dominant frame, but it works wonder for laughs and building comfort.

Also, and more importantly, the only way you will get used to maintain the aloof playful frame is by putting yourself in situations where it is tested. Instead of being defensive, try to think hard about something else, something stupid even and focus on that and don't say anything and move the topic to something else until you get comfortable with the idea of women testing you. They will usually test you if you tease them enough, and use that as your gauge for when to expect it. The more you get shit tested, and the more you put yourself in that line of fire, the more you will pick up on it and be able to ignore or deflect it.

[Ensam]

Listen to Bill Burrs Monday Morning Podcast (http://billburr.com/podcast). Whenever he has his girlfriend on she shit tests the hell out of him and he just bats them down. It's a thing of beauty. You can hear her getting pissed off and then a second later giggling at his brashness. The last 20 minutes of this week's cast is a clinic on how to deal with shit tests.

[theycallmebob]

(01-13-2013 07:34 PM)RouteBackwards Wrote:  

Continue doing what you're doing in terms of being social and talking to women, but keep in mind:

1. IT'S GOOD to get shit tested. If she ISN'T then it's because she's not that interested in you, she's put you in the harmless zone or in more rarer-cases she's incredibly shy and afraid to overstep boundaries. The last one IS a rare case though.

2. Ignoring shit tests is not bad. It sounds like some of the times you have ignored them, that's the default basic route that a lot of natural alphas take. Don't confuse basic for bad either, it works just as effective as the first one.

So with that being said, I'm one who likes to accept shit tests, or play the socially awkward card for laughs. A recent example, "I bet you're a mommas boy aren't you?" to which I cockily responded, "Fuck yes! You can eat your microwavable noodles while I'm enjoying a nice home cooked meal." That results in a laugh.

Alternatively, an example of the socially awkward card, a girl asked me "Is that what you tell girls to get into their pants?" to which I cold-faced responded "No. I'm a virgin. I've never touched a girl before. I'm hurt." Followed by a cocky smirk. She laughed pretty hard. Keep in mind though, that sort of response can only work when you've already established a sexual and dominant frame, but it works wonder for laughs and building comfort.

Also, and more importantly, the only way you will get used to maintain the aloof playful frame is by putting yourself in situations where it is tested. Instead of being defensive, try to think hard about something else, something stupid even and focus on that and don't say anything and move the topic to something else until you get comfortable with the idea of women testing you. They will usually test you if you tease them enough, and use that as your gauge for when to expect it. The more you get shit tested, and the more you put yourself in that line of fire, the more you will pick up on it and be able to ignore or deflect it.

1. This is good to know, thanks
2. I'm not ignoring them as much as I am just not noticing at all and replying as I normally would. Are they one in the same? I would think it would be the AFC's game to not know a shit test from a kick to the teeth.

As for accepting/playing off shit tests, when I DO catch them I follow Roissy's advice with the 'agree and amplify', like your first example. I would reply something along the lines of 'Oh you know it. If you play your cards right you might get to see my race car bed. I might even let you ride shotgun.'

And that final paragraph is exactly what I was thinking the answer would be: more experience in the field. I'll try keeping my thoughts elsewhere and pausing for a moment (another Roissy tip) before answering shit tests. Thanks for the advice, man.

(01-13-2013 07:40 PM)Ensam Wrote:  

Listen to Bill Burrs Monday Morning Podcast (http://billburr.com/podcast). Whenever he has his girlfriend on she shit tests the hell out of him and he just bats them down. It's a thing of beauty. You can hear her getting pissed off and then a second later giggling at his brashness. The last 20 minutes of this week's cast is a clinic on how to deal with shit tests.

I've been seeing this guy a lot lately, and for good reason, he's fucking hilarious. Thanks for the link, he is awesome at completely deflecting her shit

[rudebwoy]

Here is a thought, how about you shit test them. Instead of answering there mundane questions, throw a question at them or make a comment about something they are wearing.
For example I was talking to a girl the other day and noticed a mole on her upper arm, I squeezed and scratched it to see if it would come off. She was mortified at first, but she laughed at it afterwards. So now she views me as a guy who doesn't care and says/does what is on his mind. No more shit tests from her, she is trying to validate herself to me now.
Now try and do this too every girl, not in a rude way but like a curious little child.

Moral of the story - you don't have to play the game or if you do, play by your rules.

[theycallmebob]

(01-13-2013 09:49 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

Here is a thought, how about you shit test them. Instead of answering there mundane questions, throw a question at them or make a comment about something they are wearing.
For example I was talking to a girl the other day and noticed a mole on her upper arm, I squeezed and scratched it to see if it would come off. She was mortified at first, but she laughed at it afterwards. So now she views me as a guy who doesn't care and says/does what is on his mind. No more shit tests from her, she is trying to validate herself to me now.
Now try and do this too every girl, not in a rude way but like a curious little child.

Moral of the story - you don't have to play the game or if you do, play by your rules.

I do this on occasion, but the shit tests come regardless. I'll do it more often.

[EasyMoney]

the eye roll works too. do it real nonchalant with a smirk. throwing a good eye roll at her and changing the subject can be the perfect sort of haughty submissiveness that keeps em in line and lets em know you've played this game before

[Matt3B]

Game more girls, get more practice. You'll start hearing the same ones, you'll have automatic responses from experience that will just blert out of your mouth without a thought. Always assume everything is a shit test too.

[RCP]

Like others have mentioned, you have to be regularly exposed to shit tests. Just practice your responses and stick to the method you find that yields the highest reward.

When I get a shit test, I sometimes respond with this gem:

"Don't worry about it"

The key to pulling off this simple and effective response is to deliver it in a playfully dismissive manner. You know, eye contact and smirk. In addition to dismissing her shit test, it also builds mystery.

I also like this line because it applies to a broad range of shit tests.

So what do you?
Don't worry about it

Do you still talk to [insert ex girl's name]?
Don't worry about it

etc, etc.

[XXL]

The best way I can honestly recommend you is to expect shittest to come in a way that you're fully aware they're coming and treat girls' comments as something that feeds into your frame even more.

So let's say a girl disses you. Now, you're not thrown off balance emotionally cause you expect some shit being thrown at your face no matter what so you're centered like a boss. It's like playing the same level of some video game when you know the spots that monsters come from so you aiming at them seconds before they attack. Vicious And then you take whatever the girl is saying and interpret it as something that confirms that you're cool and respond in a flat/matter of fact tone...

Her: Nice tits, haha, let me guess the size of your cups..
You: Yeah i love them, help me keep in touch with my feminine side / yeah i hang out with girls too much i'm transforming / yeah they're helpful, make me more attainable, girls think they have a chance

Basically you interpret her comment as something that confirms that you're cool.

Sure, you could always just smirk and change topic but I find that agreeing and misinterpreting is waaaaaaaay more fun and creates a fire that adds more fun and excitement to the interaction. And if you want to be even more creative then go full improv and make up absurd stuff on the fly like a pro.

With getting that down I guarantee you will be HOPING to hear some stupid shit from girls just to have a chance to use your magic.

[Frontenac]

(01-13-2013 07:40 PM)Ensam Wrote:  

Listen to Bill Burrs Monday Morning Podcast (http://billburr.com/podcast). Whenever he has his girlfriend on she shit tests the hell out of him and he just bats them down. It's a thing of beauty. You can hear her getting pissed off and then a second later giggling at his brashness. The last 20 minutes of this week's cast is a clinic on how to deal with shit tests.

Fantastic tip, Ensam. I listened to that too and that is exactly how to manage shit tests.