[Divorco]

We already discussed Hannah Rosin's spinster regret "All the Single Ladies" from The Atlantic magazine. Lori Gottlieb whines similarly about needing a sperm donor at age 40.

My advice is this: Settle!
The Case for Settling for Mr. "Goodenough"


I liked the comment by Shawaone:

Ms. Gottlieb really thinks a man’s role should be ... to take “out the trash and set up the baby gear, and he provides a second income.” In other words, a cash machine/servant/babysitter who you never have to have sex with, but will still massage your back for way longer than “two minutes.” ... Realistically, the author should just marry some poor sap and promptly get divorced [for an undisturbed] transfer of material wealth.

[bacon]

in her mind men are a sperm donor and human walet. (tom leykis)

[painter]

Yeah, a real serious article. She spends half of it talking about the decisions of television characters like they were real people.

I see the ladies this age and their hamsters are just in overdrive.

[cardguy]

A friend of mine was telling me her sister didn't love the man she was marrying. But - she was at the age where she wanted to settle down and start having kids.

I think this sort of thing is very common.

[Pappy]

I listened a bit to the video, and I think she says good stuff to young women. She says to get settled when you're young and to having a fucking check list that you can't even pass yourself. She also said something important : "When you're 20, you can get a 10, but when you're 40, you can only get a 5"

[cardguy]

I think alot of girls should consider marrying younger.

I can see why a hot girl might not want to settle down immediately. But - it seems rational for a young girl who is maybe a 7 to marry quickly. Since a girl at 20 who is a 7 - will be a 5 or 4 at 30.

Whereas a '10' at 20 might still be an '8' at 30 - and so still in a position to be picky.

Yet - I see alot of young girls who are 7's or below at the age of 20, and not realising that there best strategy is to take full advantage of their youth. And therefore find a guy with resources to quickly settle down with.

[speakeasy]

(01-13-2013 05:32 PM)cardguy Wrote:  

I think alot of girls should consider marrying younger.

I can see why a hot girl might not want to settle down immediately. But - it seems rational for a young girl who is maybe a 7 to marry quickly. Since a girl at 20 who is a 7 - will be a 5 or 4 at 30.

Whereas a '10' at 20 might still be an '8' at 30 - and so still in a position to be picky.

Yet - I see alot of young girls who are 7's or belows not realising that there best strategy is to take full advantage of their youth. And therefore find a guy with resources to quickly settle down with.

Agreed. If I have a daughter some day, I will strongly encourage her to marry early and start a family early. I'd tell her that it's fine if she wants to get an education and career, but don't put those goals above family formation. I used to poke fun at people that married in their early 20s, but now I think maybe it's not such a bad idea, at least for women. After all, biologically women are supposed to be having kids in their teens and early 20s, and I don't believe in bastard babies so it should be done within marriage. Ideally a woman should be done having kids before she hits 30. You think, 18-22 for college, if she's still single, then maybe a year or two off to travel, have fun, casually date or whatever. Then have a job by 24-25 and looking for a serious guy. If she's using her time well, she could be married by 27 and have had at least one kid before 30. Maybe a second by 32 at the latest. That sounds like a pretty reasonable game plan if was giving a daughter(or sister) advice.

Since most early 20s guys are not in any position to be a provider, I'd have to be okay with her dating/marrying a much older guy.

[cardguy]

The thing about girls in there 20's. For every year that goes by - it is like they drop half a point in attractiveness.

Imagine you were a guy and desperately wanted to get married (as most girls do - eventually). It would be like knowing thet every year that goes by, you income is going to drop by 5%. That thought would drive me mad.

[HotLava]

I had a friend in her mid-30's who was desperate to get married. She's very intelligent and fairly attractive, but spent her 20's focusing on her career. It really opened up my eyes to how bad the dating market is for girls in their 30's and how skewed it is towards men. She ended up marrying a guy who in her words "had no backbone".

To play devil's advocate, some girls might be happier in the long run focusing on dating, relationships, and their looks rather than slaving away at the office for a little more cash. I can't imagine the impending doom of being an unmarried girl at age 29.

[cardguy]

It is a seller's market when girls are in their 20's. And it is a buyer's market when girls are in their 30's.

Sad thing is this. Not many guys want to shop for girls in their 30's. Feminism has lied to alot of girls in this regard.

[Samseau]

(01-13-2013 05:47 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  

(01-13-2013 05:32 PM)cardguy Wrote:  

I think alot of girls should consider marrying younger.

I can see why a hot girl might not want to settle down immediately. But - it seems rational for a young girl who is maybe a 7 to marry quickly. Since a girl at 20 who is a 7 - will be a 5 or 4 at 30.

Whereas a '10' at 20 might still be an '8' at 30 - and so still in a position to be picky.

Yet - I see alot of young girls who are 7's or belows not realising that there best strategy is to take full advantage of their youth. And therefore find a guy with resources to quickly settle down with.

Agreed. If I have a daughter some day, I will strongly encourage her to marry early and start a family early. I'd tell her that it's fine if she wants to get an education and career, but don't put those goals above family formation. I used to poke fun at people that married in their early 20s, but now I think maybe it's not such a bad idea, at least for women. After all, biologically women are supposed to be having kids in their teens and early 20s, and I don't believe in bastard babies so it should be done within marriage. Ideally a woman should be done having kids before she hits 30. You think, 18-22 for college, if she's still single, then maybe a year or two off to travel, have fun, casually date or whatever. Then have a job by 24-25 and looking for a serious guy. If she's using her time well, she could be married by 27 and have had at least one kid before 30. Maybe a second by 32 at the latest. That sounds like a pretty reasonable game plan if was giving a daughter(or sister) advice.

Since most early 20s guys are not in any position to be a provider, I'd have to be okay with her dating/marrying a much older guy.

100%. I would go ever further by telling my daughter that I would help support her during her family formation years.

Family is worth a lot more than a degree.

For my sons, a totally different story.

[Ensam]

I think the ideal age for a woman to have a kid is 24/25. Meet a guy in his late 20s/early 30s at 21. Marry at 23, kids between 24-26. Go back to grad school at 33/34, get a full time gig at 36/37. Plenty of time to have career. Most people don't accomplish shit career wise during their 20s anyway.

[Caligula]

That's ~2,000 words to say what anyone with common sense can extrapolate from this graph - though maybe the "female access to dick" should be re-titled to "female access to commitment". After all the drop-off isn't as drastic for casual sex with zero commitment.

[Vitriol]

Quote:

Back when I was still convinced I’d find my soul mate, I did, although I never articulated this, have certain requirements. I thought that the person I married would have to have a sense of wonderment about the world, would be both spontaneous and grounded, and would acknowledge that life is hard but also be able to navigate its ups and downs with humor. Many of the guys I dated possessed these qualities, but if one of them lacked a certain degree of kindness, another didn’t seem emotionally stable enough, and another’s values clashed with mine. Others were sweet but so boring that I preferred reading during dinner to sitting through another tedious conversation. I also dated someone who appeared to be highly compatible with me—we had much in common, and strong physical chemistry—but while our sensibilities were similar, they proved to be a half-note off, so we never quite felt in harmony, or never viewed the world through quite the same lens.

It's amazing to me how universal this notion of finding some man that is totally perfect for them is among females. Do they really think there is anyone on this planet that is constantly going to make them feel wonderful all the time?

At the root of all female "dating woes" is the fundamental fallacy that they're going to find some fictional character they create in their mind in the real world. Then to exacerbate the problem they cling on to this abstraction for decades and never realize that the world just doesn't work like that. Men seem to be more balanced in this regard - you don't see articles on the internet from guys complaining how they never met a girl who is the perfect combination of model, pornstar, and Martha Stewart.

I'm curious to hear from other guys if this is a problem with women in other parts of the world as it is with Americunts.

[Cincinnatus]

Nice graph, Caligula.

Female years of peak access to dick = between ages 21-24.

Male years of peak access to pussy = between ages 33 and 44.

It's gonna be funny to me if I peak in my 30's as the females that peaked ten years before become sexual non-objects.

TL/DR: Being a male kicks ass.

[speakeasy]

(01-13-2013 05:50 PM)cardguy Wrote:  

The thing about girls in there 20's. For every year that goes by - it is like they drop half a point in attractiveness.

Imagine you were a guy and desperately wanted to get married (as most girls do - eventually). It would be like knowing thet every year that goes by, you income is going to drop by 5%. That thought would drive me mad.

Not to rain on the parade, but we guys have a wall of our own we'll eventually hit. I don't mean sagging asses and crow's feet type of wall. But it will get to a point where it becomes very difficult to have access to women at the peak of their beauty. If you're 30-40, you can still get with 20-something girls in the Western world, but I imagine after that it's going to get a lot harder unless you have some sort of fame or you move to a very poor country like the Philippines where women are desperate for benefactors.

[ElJefe]

(01-13-2013 07:20 PM)Samseau Wrote:  

100%. I would go ever further by telling my daughter that I would help support her during her family formation years.

Family is worth a lot more than a degree.

For my sons, a totally different story.

It's called a dowry

[ElJefe]

(01-13-2013 07:26 PM)Ensam Wrote:  

I think the ideal age for a woman to have a kid is 24/25. Meet a guy in his late 20s/early 30s at 21. Marry at 23, kids between 24-26. Go back to grad school at 33/34, get a full time gig at 36/37. Plenty of time to have career. Most people don't accomplish shit career wise during their 20s anyway.

No.

Child-birth and pregnancy means she's going to have a helluva time recuperating from the damage it does.

The earlier, the better. Her body will recover faster, and, I imagine, with less permanent damage.

The ideal age is therefore 15-16. After 25, she should stop, because her body will suffer more for it.

In addition, the responsibility will help her mature faster, which is fine since girls at this age are already more mature than boys.

Men on the other hand aren't ready for fatherhood until +22. 25 is probably ideal for a man, because if he hasn't been fucking around (like I have), he is in his prime energy-wise, has been working for a few years and has increased his labor-market value. In a proper country he would also have done military service/conscription at 18. Without military service I don't think most men are ready till late 20's.

[bojangles]

It would help if this soul mate myth was not forever banged into people's heads by movies, TV shows and idiot feminists.

Soul mate's do not exist.

[ElJefe]

(01-14-2013 05:33 AM)bojangles Wrote:  

It would help if this soul mate myth was not forever banged into people's heads by movies, TV shows and idiot feminists.

Soul mate's do not exist.

Oh, they do...

I met at least one girl who mas probably my soul-mate. She never got tired of my inane babble. We had brilliant chemistry, and she was feminine, eager-to-please and wanted to settle. The odds are dismally low though... probably 1 in a 100, and then if you're intelligent, it's even lower. Finding a high IQ girl who likes me is extremely difficult

But I was too busy chasing my dick, and besides, there was only a year's difference between us. We could've had an amazing time, but I would've been disappointed long-run because of the small gap.

I plan to do as Arnold and settle at age 40. At the absolute PEAK, and preferably with a girl in her early 20s. Something like meet her when she's 22 (and I'm 38-39) and then take it from there.