[WestIndianArchie]

He's not treating you the way you want/need to be treated.

Your only recourse is to dump him. Telling him what he needs to do can only open a can of worms.

Although, Telling your gf to tell his best guy friend to tell him to man the fuck up is the only solution I can see w/o either of you losing face. We call that the telephone game here in the states.

WIA

[morphoazul]

(12-26-2012 05:29 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

He's not treating you the way you want/need to be treated.

Your only recourse is to dump him. Telling him what he needs to do can only open a can of worms.

Although, Telling your gf to tell his best guy friend to tell him to man the fuck up is the only solution I can see w/o either of you losing face. We call that the telephone game here in the states.

WIA

That would be the solution if the problem was just with him, but it's all a around. I've experienced that since my first boyfriend. The "I don't know where I want to take you" is classic. The only times I experienced something like "let's meeting at X place at y time" was when I went on dates in the USA.

We may not have as much feminism as in there, but it's a matriarchal society, women are usually stronger, even if they are not the bread winners and they treat their sons like babies forever. I agree with Timoteo and NYJ. A man that does what he wants to do, while still treating women well (I mean a little respect, not being submissive) is gold.

[Mrs. Chocolate]

Morphoazul

Guys, she is right. Men here are treated like babies forever.

[Timoteo]

I grew up with plenty of latin dudes (Puerto Rican and Dominican) that grew up being treated like princes, yet were still macho. Those cultures ARE macho cultures, though women in the past couple of generations fight against it more. In their households, the women took care of the men. Sons didn't do anything - the mom and sisters kissed their asses. Yet at the same time, they kept a strong frame with women because their dads were probably players (probably cheated on mom...HA HA!). So there is a bit of a difference in treating young males like babies, and treating them like princes.

[Mrs. Chocolate]

T hereissae for sure and here most of them are being treated like babies

[Samseau]

(12-27-2012 10:58 AM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote:  

Morphoazul

Guys, she is right. Men here are treated like babies forever.

Date older. 10+ years older than you should fix that.

[Roosh]

Morphoazul has been muted. Mrs. Chocolate is the only female allowed to post here.

[Takahashiryu]

Everything is based on inner state.
If you have dominance over yourself, you can dominate the world around you.
Be a master of yourself to be the master for others.
I'm brazilian too, and man... Guys here rarely approach...
I remember kissing a girl I just met, just to be complimented by a friend who said that he would never be brave enough to try a kiss close...
I believe that dominance must exist or it leaves a "vacuum", someone will HAVE TO TAKE THAT POSITION. The way men are nowadays, they are leaving that vacuum open... They are afraid to take that position... So, the girl will have to carry on that weight... But women feel unconfortabel in a position of dominance, they want (AND LOVE) to be led, thus Ms. Chocolate disconfort...

[WestIndianArchie]

Heavy is the head that wears the crown though.

I'm like most guys. Once I buy a couch, I consider the task to be done. I put it about 10-12 feet from the flat screen and call it a day.

What Ms. Chocolate is asking for is an unending commitment to always lead, always be decisive, always have a plan, always...always..always.

I've went down this road, many a time. You take on the responsibility and accountability, and at least in America, your reward is the elusive criticism free outing. That's it.

Chicks want to be taken care of, not waste any cognitive energy on things other than their own little vanities. It's part of what Minter was hinting at in his diatribe against marriage. It's the kind of things that my boys who are fathers talk about. There are some joys, but there is unending drudgery with little sign of relief.

Being the "man" in this situation sounds appealing to a lot of people who haven't had this thrust upon them. For those of us who have had to do it, I guess it's slightly better than the most common alternative...but onlu slightly.

WIA

(12-27-2012 05:14 PM)Takahashiryu Wrote:  

Everything is based on inner state.
If you have dominance over yourself, you can dominate the world around you.
Be a master of yourself to be the master for others.
I'm brazilian too, and man... Guys here rarely approach...
I remember kissing a girl I just met, just to be complimented by a friend who said that he would never be brave enough to try a kiss close...
I believe that dominance must exist or it leaves a "vacuum", someone will HAVE TO TAKE THAT POSITION. The way men are nowadays, they are leaving that vacuum open... They are afraid to take that position... So, the girl will have to carry on that weight... But women feel unconfortabel in a position of dominance, they want (AND LOVE) to be led, thus Ms. Chocolate disconfort...

[Moma]

I wasn't sure who Mrs Choc was dating and whether it matters in Brasil. Do all the men behave the same or do the Afro Brasilians move with a little more gumph? Someone mentioned that she should date a gringo..I thought that's all she dates?

[Takahashiryu]

Yes indeed, the burden of being a leader is heavy...

But it's lead or be led... And nothing good will come from being led by a woman...

Leading must be the natural state for men, and so it shall be done...

Women of a feminist society don't deserve the effort we put on leadership, but we must not do it for them, we must do it for ourselves!
Be leaders for ourselves and let the women who deserve our leadership follow just as long as they deserve to do so, for that is part of being a man!
To lead, to have control of your life, to allow those who deserve to be taken under your wings.

You must pave the way, the others who agree with you may follow, but it must be done by you and for you!

[WestIndianArchie]

(12-27-2012 08:57 PM)Takahashiryu Wrote:  

Yes indeed, the burden of being a leader is heavy...

But it's lead or be led... And nothing good will come from being led by a woman...

I don't agree that it is a binary choice. You can choose a life of one night stands, short engagements, replace em don't chase em, or any number of options that don't put you in the double bind...

[Takahashiryu]

But in each of the situations you described, you must be a leader, you must choose the way.
I wasn't referring exclusively to LTRs, but to every part of life and game.
As I've said before, it's all about inner state.
Be the leader of yourself and leading everything around you will come naturally.

[Timoteo]

While it's true that it can be burdensome to be responsible for the planning and decisions all the time, I believe it's important to exhibit the willingness and ability to do so early in your relationships with women. Once you've established that, you have the room to occasionally step back and delegate that duty to her. And she may see it as just that - I'm letting my man take it easy and taking care of him. Or he can simply exhibit that he respects her and her wants and needs, in that he's willing to do what she wants or go where she wants. You'll have no concerns about her seeing you as incapable of leading.

[germanico]

(12-25-2012 10:58 PM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote:  

Am I doing wrong? I am confused.

Going out with dimwits might be the problem. Id say those issues would go away if you started dating men of higher quality.

A boy will never be a man, no matter how much you "let" him be.

[Mrs. Chocolate]

(12-27-2012 06:25 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Heavy is the head that wears the crown though.

I'm like most guys. Once I buy a couch, I consider the task to be done. I put it about 10-12 feet from the flat screen and call it a day.

What Ms. Chocolate is asking for is an unending commitment to always lead, always be decisive, always have a plan, always...always..always.

I've went down this road, many a time. You take on the responsibility and accountability, and at least in America, your reward is the elusive criticism free outing. That's it.

Chicks want to be taken care of, not waste any cognitive energy on things other than their own little vanities. It's part of what Minter was hinting at in his diatribe against marriage. It's the kind of things that my boys who are fathers talk about. There are some joys, but there is unending drudgery with little sign of relief.

Being the "man" in this situation sounds appealing to a lot of people who haven't had this thrust upon them. For those of us who have had to do it, I guess it's slightly better than the most common alternative...but onlu slightly.

WIA

(12-27-2012 05:14 PM)Takahashiryu Wrote:  

Everything is based on inner state.
If you have dominance over yourself, you can dominate the world around you.
Be a master of yourself to be the master for others.
I'm brazilian too, and man... Guys here rarely approach...
I remember kissing a girl I just met, just to be complimented by a friend who said that he would never be brave enough to try a kiss close...
I believe that dominance must exist or it leaves a "vacuum", someone will HAVE TO TAKE THAT POSITION. The way men are nowadays, they are leaving that vacuum open... They are afraid to take that position... So, the girl will have to carry on that weight... But women feel unconfortabel in a position of dominance, they want (AND LOVE) to be led, thus Ms. Chocolate disconfort...

No, I don't want an answer for every single thing. And I willing to do things for my man and I don't feel less for it, it is an exchange. He takes care of me, I will take care of him.

[ImmoralPsychology]

You know what the most ironic thing about this thread is?
There is a shitload of comments saying that she's dating betas, omegas, little babies, little boys, etc., that could never satisfy her because they just can't be taught.

Uh, y'all DO realize what site you're on right NOW, don't you? And that if you're reading this, YOU most probably started out as a pretty beta boy yourself (maybe still are) - and yet YOU all claim to have learned all sorts of skillzzzzzzzzzzz.

Mrs Choco, you could always just pick a good guy and make him your "fixer upper". The best part about that is that you can mold him to be exactly what you want. (Of course, I fully understand that just having to tell someone to be a certain way ruins it even if they do change.)

Here's a serious tip though: Next time a guy asks you out on a date, say yes and that you're looking forward to a date with a real man because the last guy you went out with was an inexperienced little boy - obvious by the fact that he didn't plan anything, didn't order for you, etc. If he's paying attention, he's sure to address these issues without you having to 'tell' him to do it.

[Samseau]

(12-27-2012 11:51 PM)ImmoralPsychology Wrote:  

Uh, y'all DO realize what site you're on right NOW, don't you? And that if you're reading this, YOU most probably started out as a pretty beta boy yourself (maybe still are) - and yet YOU all claim to have learned all sorts of skillzzzzzzzzzzz.

There's no hypocrisy in that statement. Your player hating is getting tiring and I've just started reading your posts.

[UrbanNerd]

Ok, I have read enough. I will offer my $0.05.

First things first, I don't get into all of this "alpha/beta" stuff and breaking down all of alpha/beta junk to the lowest molecule, etc. Hell, the only time I will use "alpha" or "beta" is when I mention "beta provider" because that is my preferred method and that is what it is called (until I can find a new term not using the T-I-R-E-D terms of alpha and beta).

Having said all of that, the reason that your guy replied "I don't know" can be a combination or all of the following:

1) He truly doesn't know
2) He rather you select the spot so that IF you dislike the place, it's not on him
3) He does not care because his REAL plans for the night is having those Victoria Secrets panties of yours drop to the floor.

I am the type who will let the chick decide. WHY?....chances are that I could give a rats azz and ONLY care about her head knocking against the headboard. I DO NOT WANT TO WORK FOR SEX! I want to get the chick IN THE LESS AMOUNT OF WORK PERIOD. If that means she chooses the restaurant, fine.

I am all about optimization....minimum input for maximum output. FUUUUUUGGGGG getting maximum output if I had to put in maximum input, that is not fun.

Dudes doing all this work for a chick because somehow society told them so. Where is the official rulebook?

Now if we have to go back-and-forth about selecting a restaurant, then YES, I will make the decision (just to get it over with) but there is no scientific correlation or need for dissertations on alpha/beta just because a guy said "I don't know".

Ms. Chocolate.....pick a damn restaurant and leave the panties at home. :-)

[ImmoralPsychology]

(12-28-2012 07:04 AM)Samseau Wrote:  

(12-27-2012 11:51 PM)ImmoralPsychology Wrote:  

Uh, y'all DO realize what site you're on right NOW, don't you? And that if you're reading this, YOU most probably started out as a pretty beta boy yourself (maybe still are) - and yet YOU all claim to have learned all sorts of skillzzzzzzzzzzz.

There's no hypocrisy in that statement. Your player hating is getting tiring and I've just started reading your posts.

Player hating? haha. Where do you get that? Oh, right, just because I know when I smell bullshit, it's "player hating". Did you think that maybe it's just plain old "bullshit hating"? You don't seem to know the meaning of hypocrisy.

What's tiring is when a forum that is supposed to be dedicated to improving game is overrun by 14-yr-olds who prefer to talk about how big their dicks are than to cut through the bullshit and talk straight to help each other out.

Just because someone doesn't agree with you, doesn't make them player hating.

[Roosh]

^ 7 day ban. Unnecessarily offensive.

[el mechanico]

(12-28-2012 11:54 AM)Roosh Wrote:  

^ 7 day ban. Unnecessarily offensive.

He was two posts away from making the days headlines on my meltdown thread.

[Screwston]

Haha. I awoke the troll

[Mrs. Chocolate]

Well I hate the lack of effort. I dress myself, I buy decent undies, hair and nails done. I read books, I watch movies, in order to follow conversations.
And then... You can't pick the damn restaurant ONCE. NOT ALWAYS, ONCE.

[Timoteo]

(12-29-2012 04:21 PM)Mrs. Chocolate Wrote:  

Well I hate the lack of effort. I dress myself, I buy decent undies, hair and nails done. I read books, I watch movies, in order to follow conversations.
And then... You can't pick the damn restaurant ONCE. NOT ALWAYS, ONCE.

Chocolate held up her end on this one - homie has to step up. I do believe a man can learn, but he needs to have examples around him or it simply won't take. What you're attempting to teach him will seem too foreign. And having his GIRL attempt to teach him how to lead HER is ridiculous and embarrassing.