http://andthatswhyyouresingle.com/2012/1...death-guys
If I want a hooker there are better sources![[Image: angry.gif]](https://rooshvforum.network/images/smilies/angry.gif)
Great comment by VJ:
Again the more things change the more they stay the same. Women do expect you to spend money on them, ‘just for the pleasure of their company’ when dating. And this has been a problem with relatively poor & young dudes just coming out of school since roughly forever.Hence there’s commensurately actually little real ‘dating’ going on lately, unless it’s more of these ‘cheap dates’. So the ‘dating demands’ from all too many women can no longer be met or ‘satisfied’ with the ‘supply’ that the guys are willing or able to come across when dating.
Now some of this has to do with sex, but plenty of it has to do with a real genuine uptick in narcissistic self involvement along with a healthy doses of more delusional thinking just about almost everything. It used to be that women who’d not want to ‘give it up’ early or to ‘hold out longer’ in order to protect themselves would know or actually want to reciprocate in some manner to show their appreciation and respect for the effort. Making a fine home cooked dinner, occasionally picking up the tab for dinner or day dates out, baking cookies or even making a basket picnic lunch for a ‘cheap date’ in the park. Something, anything in order to show your appreciation for your regular date. But somehow this is not how the ‘modern generations’ see it. It’s more of a strictly ‘economically’ based exchange here. The women feel more entitled, and men feel more ‘put out’ for all their efforts. Now the only rare thought of basic reciprocation by many women is ‘I’m looking good with you’ or again the famous you’re enjoying ‘the pleasure of my company’. This is especially true of ‘first dates’ or ‘getting to know you dates’, and seldom are there more than that, strangely enough.
So in a ‘pure’ economic exchange the man is perpetually being asked to give up something very real and tangible (CASH & Prizes) for something more nebulous & intangible (some shows of affection, or the good feelings/mojo generated & the limited attention of women while you’re feeding them). The missing element here is any real show or feeling of gratitude, yes, even for a coffee date, or worse, for any sort or much thought of real reciprocity. Without that essential element the whole ‘transaction’ is just more than a bit cold.
Now what does that do after a long while? It actually corrodes the whole damn enterprise. Men become deeply resentful of being taken advantage of so often, taken for ‘chumps’ or a semi reliable ‘meal ticket’ for semi interested gal pals, who’ll often feign some ‘romantic’ interest in any poor sucker still willing to play along. And this actually gets worse as the guy becomes more able to indulge the demands of the dating market in his 30′s, as he now may be more gainfully and better employed. Still worse is the ingrained sense of overweening entitlement by most women about the entire ‘exchange’. It just no longer works well for the guys, if it ever did. So just about the time he’s likely looking to get more serious, and possibly thinking about getting married, the highest form of ‘rent extraction’ is now being expected of him in the dating market!
So that in a nutshell is where ‘Jay’ now finds himself. The costs and ‘barriers to entry’ into the dating market in Manhattan have now climbed as high as the rents for any sort of desirable real estate. The women want what they want, and they’re all looking to ‘cash in’ on their self assessed relative attractiveness or youth, and they want that once & furtive Caddy/BMW/Benz gold ‘standard’ of a ‘full dress’ diner date for their valuable time. If not every time, it’s just become the ‘natural & normative’ expectation for many women when ‘dating’. And sorry gals, it’s just not happening. Why? Well due to the late Depression and because of the sheer lack of simple reciprocity to or for most of the guys. Sure the cute, young, pretty, studly ones can get the all the attention, affections and sex they want, even if they’re poor or broke. But the ‘average looking’ dudes with little game due to struggling trying to make it in the world or long time study at a demanding profession often pay for their relative lack of experience by not only getting less ‘action’ but by having to pay dearly for even the shortest span of attention from otherwise ‘desirable’ women. The older gals are usually making a ‘play for the fences’ in being very cautious not to show any undue interest ‘too early’, and fewer & fewer of the guys can actually afford to keep up. The gals are resentful that fewer of the dudes are interested, and so those that are still playing must now pay though the nose for the privilege. The rent’s always being ratcheted higher.
So what’s a smart guy to do? Cut your losses early. Find out who are the ones who might just see you as a semi-attractive meal ticket, and those who might truly be interested in a relationship. He does this with a ‘talking date’ in a Quiet venue (not a Bar), and by asking plenty of questions, if he can get away with it. But alas he can not, at least not any longer as the rent for that time is now Too Damn High! More women are merely insulted to have to show up in a coffee shop for a ‘date’, even a simple get to know & see you date. So Jay and likely many decent Marriage Minded dudes all around you are being literally Priced Out of the Market due to the increasingly unrealistic demands of the semi-attractive 20 & 30 something set. Many of whom might not even be bothered to say a simple ‘Thank you’ for much of anything done with or for them on the dates they’re not getting to due to being told since youth that ‘they’re so pretty’ and ‘they could be models’.
So the market is not only dysfunctional, it’s always in a perpetual state of collapse. But today more dudes have a vast array of new entertainment options to distract them, and likely simple & direct access to more high quality p0rn than grandad or dad might see in several lifetimes. When they get sick & tired of the dating games being played at home or refuse to be suckers for the ‘rent extraction’ games being played by their US compatriots they might & will seek their fortunes overseas, or in & with different newly arrived immigrant communities. And why not? Airfare to any distant corner of the earth is a far far cheaper option than even just a few years of the ‘natural dating expectations’ in NYC and larger coastal cities. Let’s run down the changes once again on that score.
Dating for a full dinner date with drinks, parking & transport included in NYC: $100 For a Bare Min typically. Ok do that ONLY 2-3 times a month for one year: $2400-$3600. That with NO additional gifts or travel expenses. For the typical guy who’s actually More serious and wants to be in a LTR? It can easily be as expensive as owning a 2nd car in Manhattan. Now many of the ladies will insist, ‘But I’m Worth it’! And surely some are. But the Census statistics also tell us that more and more this ‘problem’ of overly inflated and highly extractive rents are being ‘solved’ with the largest increase in cross border/cross cultural/ethnically mixed marriages in our history. So those clinging to outmoded, deeply unrealistic demands will be and are being outsourced in any putative ‘marriage market’. You can witness that everywhere, but the denial is deep!
So bottom line for Jay and many similar likely seriously & marriage minded, decent & well educated guys like him? Get out of NYC. Seek a different dating population. Go as far distant as you can stand until you hear the first genuine ‘thank you’ and garner a smile over a frown or a scowl over the proffered cup of coffee. You can find such rarities in NY, but you might be looking needlessly for a very long time. It’s as simple as that. Quit the games while you still have a chance. Leave the ones that want all the courting with gifts and tributes of gold & diamonds to others. You’ll be much the happier for it, and you’ll likely never regret it. Cheers & Good Luck & sorry for the length here. VJ’
If I want a hooker there are better sources
Great comment by VJ:
Again the more things change the more they stay the same. Women do expect you to spend money on them, ‘just for the pleasure of their company’ when dating. And this has been a problem with relatively poor & young dudes just coming out of school since roughly forever.Hence there’s commensurately actually little real ‘dating’ going on lately, unless it’s more of these ‘cheap dates’. So the ‘dating demands’ from all too many women can no longer be met or ‘satisfied’ with the ‘supply’ that the guys are willing or able to come across when dating.
Now some of this has to do with sex, but plenty of it has to do with a real genuine uptick in narcissistic self involvement along with a healthy doses of more delusional thinking just about almost everything. It used to be that women who’d not want to ‘give it up’ early or to ‘hold out longer’ in order to protect themselves would know or actually want to reciprocate in some manner to show their appreciation and respect for the effort. Making a fine home cooked dinner, occasionally picking up the tab for dinner or day dates out, baking cookies or even making a basket picnic lunch for a ‘cheap date’ in the park. Something, anything in order to show your appreciation for your regular date. But somehow this is not how the ‘modern generations’ see it. It’s more of a strictly ‘economically’ based exchange here. The women feel more entitled, and men feel more ‘put out’ for all their efforts. Now the only rare thought of basic reciprocation by many women is ‘I’m looking good with you’ or again the famous you’re enjoying ‘the pleasure of my company’. This is especially true of ‘first dates’ or ‘getting to know you dates’, and seldom are there more than that, strangely enough.
So in a ‘pure’ economic exchange the man is perpetually being asked to give up something very real and tangible (CASH & Prizes) for something more nebulous & intangible (some shows of affection, or the good feelings/mojo generated & the limited attention of women while you’re feeding them). The missing element here is any real show or feeling of gratitude, yes, even for a coffee date, or worse, for any sort or much thought of real reciprocity. Without that essential element the whole ‘transaction’ is just more than a bit cold.
Now what does that do after a long while? It actually corrodes the whole damn enterprise. Men become deeply resentful of being taken advantage of so often, taken for ‘chumps’ or a semi reliable ‘meal ticket’ for semi interested gal pals, who’ll often feign some ‘romantic’ interest in any poor sucker still willing to play along. And this actually gets worse as the guy becomes more able to indulge the demands of the dating market in his 30′s, as he now may be more gainfully and better employed. Still worse is the ingrained sense of overweening entitlement by most women about the entire ‘exchange’. It just no longer works well for the guys, if it ever did. So just about the time he’s likely looking to get more serious, and possibly thinking about getting married, the highest form of ‘rent extraction’ is now being expected of him in the dating market!
So that in a nutshell is where ‘Jay’ now finds himself. The costs and ‘barriers to entry’ into the dating market in Manhattan have now climbed as high as the rents for any sort of desirable real estate. The women want what they want, and they’re all looking to ‘cash in’ on their self assessed relative attractiveness or youth, and they want that once & furtive Caddy/BMW/Benz gold ‘standard’ of a ‘full dress’ diner date for their valuable time. If not every time, it’s just become the ‘natural & normative’ expectation for many women when ‘dating’. And sorry gals, it’s just not happening. Why? Well due to the late Depression and because of the sheer lack of simple reciprocity to or for most of the guys. Sure the cute, young, pretty, studly ones can get the all the attention, affections and sex they want, even if they’re poor or broke. But the ‘average looking’ dudes with little game due to struggling trying to make it in the world or long time study at a demanding profession often pay for their relative lack of experience by not only getting less ‘action’ but by having to pay dearly for even the shortest span of attention from otherwise ‘desirable’ women. The older gals are usually making a ‘play for the fences’ in being very cautious not to show any undue interest ‘too early’, and fewer & fewer of the guys can actually afford to keep up. The gals are resentful that fewer of the dudes are interested, and so those that are still playing must now pay though the nose for the privilege. The rent’s always being ratcheted higher.
So what’s a smart guy to do? Cut your losses early. Find out who are the ones who might just see you as a semi-attractive meal ticket, and those who might truly be interested in a relationship. He does this with a ‘talking date’ in a Quiet venue (not a Bar), and by asking plenty of questions, if he can get away with it. But alas he can not, at least not any longer as the rent for that time is now Too Damn High! More women are merely insulted to have to show up in a coffee shop for a ‘date’, even a simple get to know & see you date. So Jay and likely many decent Marriage Minded dudes all around you are being literally Priced Out of the Market due to the increasingly unrealistic demands of the semi-attractive 20 & 30 something set. Many of whom might not even be bothered to say a simple ‘Thank you’ for much of anything done with or for them on the dates they’re not getting to due to being told since youth that ‘they’re so pretty’ and ‘they could be models’.
So the market is not only dysfunctional, it’s always in a perpetual state of collapse. But today more dudes have a vast array of new entertainment options to distract them, and likely simple & direct access to more high quality p0rn than grandad or dad might see in several lifetimes. When they get sick & tired of the dating games being played at home or refuse to be suckers for the ‘rent extraction’ games being played by their US compatriots they might & will seek their fortunes overseas, or in & with different newly arrived immigrant communities. And why not? Airfare to any distant corner of the earth is a far far cheaper option than even just a few years of the ‘natural dating expectations’ in NYC and larger coastal cities. Let’s run down the changes once again on that score.
Dating for a full dinner date with drinks, parking & transport included in NYC: $100 For a Bare Min typically. Ok do that ONLY 2-3 times a month for one year: $2400-$3600. That with NO additional gifts or travel expenses. For the typical guy who’s actually More serious and wants to be in a LTR? It can easily be as expensive as owning a 2nd car in Manhattan. Now many of the ladies will insist, ‘But I’m Worth it’! And surely some are. But the Census statistics also tell us that more and more this ‘problem’ of overly inflated and highly extractive rents are being ‘solved’ with the largest increase in cross border/cross cultural/ethnically mixed marriages in our history. So those clinging to outmoded, deeply unrealistic demands will be and are being outsourced in any putative ‘marriage market’. You can witness that everywhere, but the denial is deep!
So bottom line for Jay and many similar likely seriously & marriage minded, decent & well educated guys like him? Get out of NYC. Seek a different dating population. Go as far distant as you can stand until you hear the first genuine ‘thank you’ and garner a smile over a frown or a scowl over the proffered cup of coffee. You can find such rarities in NY, but you might be looking needlessly for a very long time. It’s as simple as that. Quit the games while you still have a chance. Leave the ones that want all the courting with gifts and tributes of gold & diamonds to others. You’ll be much the happier for it, and you’ll likely never regret it. Cheers & Good Luck & sorry for the length here. VJ’
