Yes, this thread is horrible, but I'm going to take the time to try and clarify some things anyway. Maybe it will be useful to someone.
Quote: (11-20-2012 02:07 PM)Nomad77 Wrote:
She is certainly one type of player.
The current mentally is a woman cannot be after sex she has to be after money. But I've been literally fucked by more than a few women that wasn't after anything else but that. I didn't pickup and seduce these women. So who was the player and who was the playee?
We need to break the term "player" down here.
To be a "player", it must be implied that there is something to be played, something that stands in the way of an individual achieving his/her objective.
We call sexually successful men "players" because it is a challenge for any given male (even a very good looking one) to maintain such success due to female selectivity. Even the best men have to actually work to gain sexual access to the women they are attracted to (witness the abundance of stories of male models and celebrities getting turned down by attractive women they approach). A man who overcomes this challenge with relative frequency (even the best don't do much better than 5/100) and attains good quality while doing it is lauded as a "player". The very term implies that he has done something challenging and/or uncommon, something not just any random guy can do (as we all know, there are masses of desperate dudes out there who struggle to get any female interest at all).
This is where we see the key difference-whereas a man who simply wants sex (and is not a homosexual) faces an uphill climb to get it, an attractive young woman (sometimes even plain young woman, to be frank) does not. There is no game for her to play-she need merely show up in order to find a guy to fuck her.
Can a woman be after sex and sex alone? Sure. The point is that she does not need to play any games (or do much of anything else) in order to get sex. The fact that she succeeded in getting a guy into bed for a sexual encounter does not make her a "player"-there was nothing for her to play. She needs no "game" and no "effort" to simply get laid by a guy.
Now, let's say that we have a hypothetical woman who goes beyond this standard-rather than merely seeking to get laid by any decent looking dude (which she can always do), she seeks to attain the resources of a higher quality one and use them to her advantage.
This concept of the "female hustler" does exist-she doesn't merely seek intercourse with high status men (that's a common groupie-any girl can do this), but rather is able to convince those higher status men to keep her around and devote exorbitant percentages of their resources to her that she uses for her own benefit/advancement (and that of any offspring she has).
She knows how to make a man feel loved (even if she's not that into him sexually) as she fully intends to milk him for all he is worth. A lot of strippers (the ones who make any sort of money, anyway) are "female hustlers", about as close an equivalent to a "male player" you can find. They live on their ability to manipulate male senses/emotions, sell men a dream and make them feel like they could realize it even as they slowly run out of money.
The point, however, is that the attainment of sex does not a "female player" make. The girls you claim to have "been fucked" by are not "players". All they did was get laid, and that doesn't require any playing.
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Is a woman that wants sex and is willing to go after it just a whore or slut? Isn't that just a double standard we are always accusing women of?
The term for a woman who is merely after sex and sex alone is probably something along those lines. Is that a double standard? Only if you assume that men and women are playing by the same rules to begin with.
One could also argue that it isn't fair for men to have to face a more complicated road to sexual access than women do, but it is this very distinction that creates the double standard.
It is harder for men to get sex = we call them players when they do. It is very easy for a woman to find and have casual sex with many men = we call her a slut when she does. We praise sexually prolific men and shame sexually prolific women, while simultaneously
praising sexually reserved/inexperienced women and shaming sexually reserved/inexperienced men.
That is what it is. We're not the same, and everyone, even those women who continue to "protest" the "double standard", is fully aware of this, and acts accordingly (read: they are selective about the men they choose, slut shame slutty female peers, favor sexually experienced men, etc). There's no equality, and there will never be.