[Rick91]

I have a buddy that seems like a complete lost cause. He's my age just turning 21 next week. He has yet to even kiss a girl. I'll describe his looks, i wouldn't call him ugly but he's just not hot in the slightest way if that makes sense. He's pretty tall, maybe 6'3' but overweight by at least 50-60 pounds and has little to no muscle on him, he is weak as shit considering the size of him. He's white but has a somewhat Chinese look to him do to his eyes and the roundness of his head. He takes absolutely no pride in his appearance its his personality that holds him back the most i believe.

He has absolutely no self esteem yet has a superiority complex. He will not take advice from anyone and makes passive aggressive remarks where he can.

At the moment he is studying to become an accountant, i think he hates it and just does enough to scrape by grades wise. He also drinks to retardation usually alone. He says he's cut it down to a bottle of wine a night. He also developed a gambling habit and had himself banned from all the casinos in the city. He confided in me that he cuts himself. I thought he was joking (me and my group of friends generally don't take anything seriously) he did it on his ankles and they were so deep that he was considering getting stitches. He has mentioned suicide kind of like in a philosophical way and also told me that when he found out his 26 year old brother got his wife pregnant it made him miserable and he wouldn't really care if they had a miscarriage.

At school socially he was pretty much the same as most people we hung out with. For a while he even looked down on me stating quite confidently aged 14 that he would pull a girl before i would. Then everyone started to have little success with girls here or there and he got absolutely nothing. I think he just expected something to happen.

I'v told him he needs to go to the gym, he has some like anti weightlifting agenda that has no reasoning.

I told him go traveling to the Philippines he will get laid there it's supposed to be the easiest place on earth. He says he doesn't like traveling (he has been on a euro trip solo) and it wont matter.

I told him he needs to get a hobby he just wont listen or do anything. He has no motivation for change.

I often get into arguments with him and come of as a real asshole to him but he just doesn't get it. Some people in life need to work harder than others. He would rather consider suicide than fucking improve himself or his situation.

He knows about "game" and basically calls it shite and laughs about it yet me banging 32 more birds versus his 0 has little meaning to him. He has never approached a girl in his life yet has no problem speaking to them in a classroom enviroment often mocking them with his intellect. Yet outside he becomes like the most awkward retard towards them.

Anytime i mention anything to do with improving his life and getting laid he says he doesn't care yet when i ask him why he thought such disturbing shit about his brother he says because he's having a kid and i can't get laid. It like he's in denial about how bad his situation is. How do you get someone to snap out of it?

Has anyone known or been a person like this and did they ever get their shit together?

[reino341]

Has anyone ever succeeded in converting a blue pill friend?

I don't know why but seems like most people are not capable of making such a drastic change. It was something like 5% of the people who get into pickup that prevail.

[Rick91]

My friend isn't blue pill. If anything he's like the guy on that blog "the black pill". My friend craves to be normal he just doesn't get that most normal people want to be more than just normal. Just most normal don't have the balls or brains to actually do something about it.

[ABDada]

Fixing guys is for broads with daddy issues.

Bounce him... Next!

[urges]

Lesson in life: before you want to change somebody, make sure they are willing to change, else don't even bother.

[urges]

Lesson in life: before you want to change somebody, make sure they are willing to change, else don't even bother.

[Private Man]

He may have a come-to-Jesus moment later in life. In the meantime, he's a lost cause.

[Phil]

You cannot fundamentally change another person unless the other person wants to change badly.

[scorpion]

The cold, hard truth is that as men we're basically walking genetic experiments.

Our fathers shot a load of cum into our mothers, mother nature rolled the genetic dice and each of us popped out with a certain genetic package.

Combined with our early formative environment, this genetic package determines the type of man we end up becoming.

Tall or short, smart or stupid, weak or strong, bold or cowardly, socially savvy or obtuse, we are what we are. Nature experiments this way to determine the ideal genetic package over millions of years.

In the eyes of mother nature, the only way a genetic package becomes successful is if it is transmitted on to the next generation.

To put it bluntly, your friend is a failed genetic experiment. His genetic roll of the dice unfortunately turned out toxic for the purposes of attracting women. He will probably die without leaving any children, meanwhile the guys who possess superior genetics will pass on more of their genes to the next generation.

Historically, only 40% of men have reproduced, while 80% of women have. An individual man's biological success is unimportant to nature. We're expendable. If a man is going to be biologically successful, he's got to want it and go after it for himself, otherwise some other guy is going to step in and take his place.

Your friend is just a natural low beta/omega. There's nothing you can do to change him. If he had the drive within him, it would have surfaced by now. The best he can ever hope for is to impregnate some desperate, aging 2 or 3.

It sounds callous, but you're much better off just avoiding guys like this. They will only drag you down. Stay away from born losers.

[Hades]

Eh, some men can change and get laid well into their 20s or even 30s. Don't hold out hope for this loser though.

[aphelion]

Yeah, judging from your description I'm not sure why you hang out with him. What value does he provide exactly?

[Rick91]

We were buddies in school and sometimes hang around in the same social circles now and we used to have pretty similar interests.

[peterthephoenix]

Hanging out with miserable people makes you miserable too. You're constantly trying to bring him up with you and all he does is fights it.

You may consider hanging out with him less/cutting him loose.

[Kitsune]

I used to live with two guys, who I introduced to game.

One of them took to it very quickly and is probably as good at game as me.
The other one, and the topic of this thread, made life hell. He didn't believe in game, or even being a decent person. He would deliberately lie about everything, cockblock us, and generally cause chaos. I mistakenly thought that by showing him that he could better himself and take from life what he wanted, he'd stop being a recluse. Instead, he turned into a manipulative nightmare.

Anyway, I'd suggest seriously vetting anyone before giving them the keys to any cars in your life. That goes for relationship advice, financial advice and general life advice. Some people are just designed to be black-holes of the human spirit.

[Matt3B]

Seems like a massive waste of your physical and mental energy to me. If he's your mate and you want to continue being mates with him, accept him how he is and hang out with him where it's not gonna rinse your value. If he was affecting your game, which clearly from your numbers he isn't, then I would try as hard as you seem to be to get him to change. As it is, what's the point? He obviously doesn't want your help and the more you push, the further he will pull away from it.

Just drop it, keep him as your mate if you want, but leave it at that. Just because you know game and have unplugged, doesn't mean you have to rescue your mates. It's your journey, not his. Maybe he'll come to you in time, but for now just back off him with all of this.

[snoop]

I noticed you said you "told" him, not that he asked.

most people will get defensive when you take the "you know what your problem is?" approach so I'm not surprised he won't listen to you.

Based on the suicide/depression/gambling stuff you could also be dealing with someone who has a chemical imbalance or some kind of disorder. No amount of logic or advice you can give is going to correct some of those type of issues.

[Alpha Hunter Zero]

A lot beta/omega friend threads popping up recently....interesting. As for the OP, to say that your friend is beyond help is an understatement. Forget him and cut all contact with him if possible. Do this before he starts bringing you down.

[RandalGraves]

(11-12-2012 01:05 PM)urges Wrote:  

Lesson in life: before you want to change somebody, make sure they are willing to change, else don't even bother.

You can only offer the choice.