[Winterstein]

I had a long conversation with a HB6 (I'm new to this) at an engagement party Saturday night. We are both mutual friends of the bride to be. I started making conversation with her, and even initiated her friend. The conversation went well and I felt it was a good approach. Lasted about 30 minutes or more. The girls seemed to like me, and even asked if I had a girlfriend etc.

At the end of the night, as the girl is leaving. I get her number. She insists that I call her. I text her 2 days later, and ask her about her week, ands if she started her new job. She asked about the wedding I went to the following night, and seemed to remember me well. After a few texts, I asked her out. and she agreed. We made the date for Thursday (This was Tuesday) at noon for lunch.

Thursday at 11 am. she texts me to cancel. She asks if I'm available next week and suggested a bar. Her excuse was that a friend from work was taking her out for a goodbye lunch (as this was her second last day) I say I am busy on Tuesday and Wendesday night, she replies she is not sure of her schedule, but that she's sorry and we'll be in touch next week. She said be in touch, not call me or I'll call you.

This girl seemed to be nice, interested in me, and somewhat excited to go out. Maybe her excuse is legit, but it seems like she flaked out of me.

Should I follow up with this girl, If so when?
What should I say? Should I call her on her shit in a playful way?
Why do girls flake out so often?

[slubu]

Don't bother wasting mental energy trying to figure out why she flaked or if it was legitimate or not. Who cares.

Don't call her out on it.

Girls flake because they are girls, have millions of other options, are ADD, and so on. Again, you have to adopt the abundance mindset and not care. Would you care if she was a 3 and obese? Would you care if you were currently banging 4 other chicks? It's hard I know but you have to adopt that mindset.

In the end 99% of girls are replaceable, and 100% of 6s are replaceable. Let it sit and if she doesn't contact you by Wednesday or so you can send her a text, if you want.

Finally, fuck lunch dates. The soup and salad combo with a tropical iced tea is not going to make her ready to bang you afterwards. Think ahead, plan backwards.

[jammer]

She did give you another time to reschedule so that's a positive sign. If she doesn't give you another day to reschedule, I would have adviced you to dump her.

[Nineteen84]

(11-08-2012 06:08 PM)slubu Wrote:  

Don't bother wasting mental energy trying to figure out why she flaked or if it was legitimate or not. Who cares.

Don't call her out on it.

Yes, this is the paradigm shift you need to have. And reduce your emotional investment. Then work the numbers game.

[Aer]

Need a total mental shift. Girls accommodate to you, you never accommodate to them. If you do, that shows weakness and you kill your chance before you even get one.

And don't worry about flaking, it happens to every man. Getting over it is something which takes practice. Forget about it.

[panache]

This belongs in the newbie forum.

[TheBulldozer]

Have enough options where you flake on them. Flip the script.

Maybe the most important thing I've learned in the past years is that it's a numbers game. Every dynamic about the game changes when the man has more options than the woman. Women can smell it on you when this is true and they absolutely love it, though they'd never admit it.

Imagine her hamster spinning when you're the one giving a vague excuse as to why you can't hang with her a few hours before you were planning on it. If it drives you crazy, multiply that by 100 and you have what's going on in her brain when it happens.

[GoodTimer]

Your still in this in a good way. This is not a flake, people are busy, she's leaving a job and keeping good with existing coworkers. Screw the lunch date, she wants to meet at a bar! Amp it up or this one will get bored and leave. Text only to set your next meet up, then escalate. Don't call her out, there is no shit from her here. Text tomorrow (friday) just before lunch, get her to meet you for happy hour or sat night.

[20Nation]

Yeah like was said, don't do lunch dates. It seems to me like she's not way interested, but she's not not interested. You should just keep the next date idea open, but dont get too invested in it. All you can do is hope she's horny or lonely next time you ask.

[Insignia]

If the girl flakes it has something to do with your appoarch and interaction, the tighter your game gets the less flakes you will get.