[chakri]

I'm not surprised at all about this, given how A) it's the Internet, and B) ridiculously bad guy-to-girl ratios, but some of these posts on Craigslist are so unreal that they just crack me up like no other.

Feel free to post anything you guys find.

Here are some samples I ran across:

1) "afternoon. i am a pro-domina in search of some easy, well behaved, lifestyle slaves. you may purchase some articles of my clothing (specifics to be discussed via email), if i am up to it, perhaps i can meet with you for some coffee or a quick lunch. when i say pro-domina, i mean it. i am very strict and take my profession seriously. if you are a foolish and disrespectful pervert, take your miserable self else where for i will NOT tolerate your shenanigans. i am 5'8, brunette, thin, and fair skinned. we can discuss in further detail what i am looking for in a lifestyle slave via email and i will provide you with my fetlife account. i am mistress Mary Magdalen and you are to be my pet."

2) "Greetings! I am a nice, spunky woman looking for nice male friends. I like people with a soft, fuzzy center and a lot of quirks, perhaps to the point of neurosis. I just spent 6 months volunteering at a holistic healing retreat center where I was surrounded by men that are trying to grow and live from the heart. It was so lovely to be around men like that and I want to meet more! I realize this is craigslist and I might only attract a bunch of men who want to send me pictures of their umm... junk. And I don't want that! Do not mail me your junk! No junk mail! Nice men is my new M.O. If you think all women want to be around insensitive a-holes... well, that's not me. I'm pretty fierce when it comes to my values and I'm kind until one of them is stepped on. So email me and maybe we can go on a walk and talk some time."

3) "Hello! I'm an attractive and beautiful, Dominican American! I'm looking for someone who can help me get my own place. I've been staying with friends and it hasn't been easy, as I'm used to having my own. Financial hardships caused me to loose my beautiful apartment. My own place is what I'm seeking and some assistance, and not an offer to live with you. A Sugardaddy would be good! Please, only serious replies. Mature men only. Thank you!"

This one here has GOT to be the worst...
4) "I'm a single, Caucasian, 26 year old female looking to co-parent a child with a single, Caucasian, disease & drug free, male between the ages of 27 & 35. However, I am NOT looking to raise this child on my own; the father must willingly be involved in the child's life in all aspects (mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, etc). Serious inquires should send messages with their description and a picture, I will reply with my reasoning behind this and a picture as well.

I am well aware that upon proceeding with this proposition, if all things are agreed by both parties, legal documentation and contracts will be generated."

[Dr. Howard]

#4...how is that even real!!!

[Kickb]

bbw with hsv2 - 41 (fort worth)

I unfortunately trusted the wrong person and contracted HSV2.. I am an attractive bbw with my life together. I live alone. Looking for someone who is honest and real. Someone who either has HSV2 or doesn't mind that I have it.

Anyone interested?

[chakri]

Some more:

1) "Are there any men out there who want to help a pretty struggling college student? I have a pay pal account...please help me."


This one actually OFFERS money...
2) Subj: Looking for husband..."Not the real one... I need someone intelligent and serious, without criminal background, with regular job, who is ready for 2 years commitment (mandatory!), in return person will be well taken care of. Financially.
Email me for details."

3) "Looking for a cuckhold boyfriend to live with. He will obey everything i say. I will do what i want, see who i want and he will do only what i allow him to."

4) "Where are the handsome, young and succesful gentleman in Manhattan that dress well and know how to treat a lady? So tired of guys that can't afford a night out in a trendy restaurant followed by Champagne and cocktails at some nice lounge. If I'm gonna dress up to the nines I want to be seen, seduced and spoiled. Is that too much to ask? Sex is so much better with a man who knows how to take care of his lady and how to make her feel special. I am 5'10 so my preference goes to gentleman taller than me

Only looking forward to hear about men who fit the description above. Please include a picture and your favorite restaurant in the subject line.

Bisous x"

To the following: What's in it for the man?
5) "This is NOT a post for a boyfriend.
I am seeking a married or single white guy as a sugar daddy.
Nothing complicated. Don't ask me to date you because I won't be interested.
I am very private so I'm not interested in parading around the city with you.
Please only contact me if you are serious.
ONLY older than 35.

Yes, because people just like to give out free money
6) Subj: Help to pay bills..."Hello there, well like the title says i need some help to pay bills. No cheap men and no men under 30."
Thanks."

7) "<<< Just posting one more time.

Seeking a benefactor. I'm not an escort so looking for something MORE than just the exchange. I had one about a year ago and it worked out very well for both parties concerned.

I'm down-to earth, discreet (as I have a career and rep), pretty and intelligent. I'm NOT trashy, slutty, cheap or an airhead. I am a tad naive (not a native NYer, obviously) but also a tad not. I'm not seeking a creepy weirdo or someone who plans on getting into the sack quickly and then from whom I never hear again.

I need to upgrade my computer equipment (I work in the comp arena) and would like to get into photography so the 'allowance' would be going towards legit expenses. I can pay my rent/expenses on my own and have the evidence to prove it if you may so be inclined...

As stated previously, I am discreet, VERY discreet, so married are welcome to respond."

[blackglasses]

What the fuck? This is dumb as shit. I can't believe that there are probably weak ass dudes that would go for this shit. I never spend money on bitches

[BurnFirst]

These bitches are dumb as rocks. It probably wouldn't be too hard with some of them to tell them what they want to hear, smash and not give them shit. Not worth the hassle though unless you get off on that.

[blackglasses]

(11-02-2012 05:17 PM)BurnFirst Wrote:  

These bitches are dumb as rocks. It probably wouldn't be too hard with some of them to tell them what they want to hear, smash and not give them shit. Not worth the hassle though unless you get off on that.

I would consider that if I had the time just to hate fuck those bitches

[fresh]

(11-03-2012 10:10 PM)blackglasses Wrote:  

(11-02-2012 05:17 PM)BurnFirst Wrote:  

These bitches are dumb as rocks. It probably wouldn't be too hard with some of them to tell them what they want to hear, smash and not give them shit. Not worth the hassle though unless you get off on that.

I would consider that if I had the time just to hate fuck those bitches

I feel ya cats. Meet them, Bang them, cum in their face and leave with a lame escuse bout getting something in the mall.

[JohnKreese]

Quote:

4) "Where are the handsome, young and succesful gentleman in Manhattan that dress well and know how to treat a lady? So tired of guys that can't afford a night out in a trendy restaurant followed by Champagne and cocktails at some nice lounge. If I'm gonna dress up to the nines I want to be seen, seduced and spoiled. Is that too much to ask? Sex is so much better with a man who knows how to take care of his lady and how to make her feel special. I am 5'10 so my preference goes to gentleman taller than me Smile

Only looking forward to hear about men who fit the description above. Please include a picture and your favorite restaurant in the subject line.

Reply with this picture and the word "Dorsia". You're welcome

[Alpha Hunter Zero]

I think there are more weird and downright psychotic ads on craigslist than beta. Im on mobile version so I cant really link anything but look up"want it from behind while you play super mario " for a pretty good example.

[aphelion]

I wouldn't call them dumb, necessarily. They're probably getting offers.

The motherfuckers who pay out - THEY'RE dumb.

[mental]

(11-07-2012 04:53 PM)Alpha Hunter Zero Wrote:  

I think there are more weird and downright psychotic ads on craigslist than beta. Im on mobile version so I cant really link anything but look up"want it from behind while you play super mario " for a pretty good example.

The fuck? Lol that's some funny shit, and I've saved you the work of putting a link: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/orl/740493470.html

[damngringo]

(11-01-2012 03:58 PM)chakri Wrote:  

4) "I'm a single, Caucasian, 26 year old female looking to co-parent a child with a single, Caucasian, disease & drug free, male between the ages of 27 & 35. However, I am NOT looking to raise this child on my own; the father must willingly be involved in the child's life in all aspects (mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, etc).

A perfect set-up - a guy with vasectomy fucks her, she claims to be pregnant only to be made fun of. I would definitely do that if I was around

[germanico]

(11-09-2012 12:53 PM)damngringo Wrote:  

(11-01-2012 03:58 PM)chakri Wrote:  

4) "I'm a single, Caucasian, 26 year old female looking to co-parent a child with a single, Caucasian, disease & drug free, male between the ages of 27 & 35. However, I am NOT looking to raise this child on my own; the father must willingly be involved in the child's life in all aspects (mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, etc).

A perfect set-up - a guy with vasectomy fucks her, she claims to be pregnant only to be made fun of. I would definitely do that if I was around

Then vasectomy guy get charged with statutory rape, raped for reals in prision, and then spends the rest of his life registered as a sex offender. The hamster chick gets a round of applause from feminists all over the world, a 100k book deal and an interview on Ellen.

Everybody wins!

[BurnFirst]

(11-09-2012 06:46 PM)germanico Wrote:  

(11-09-2012 12:53 PM)damngringo Wrote:  

(11-01-2012 03:58 PM)chakri Wrote:  

4) "I'm a single, Caucasian, 26 year old female looking to co-parent a child with a single, Caucasian, disease & drug free, male between the ages of 27 & 35. However, I am NOT looking to raise this child on my own; the father must willingly be involved in the child's life in all aspects (mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, etc).

A perfect set-up - a guy with vasectomy fucks her, she claims to be pregnant only to be made fun of. I would definitely do that if I was around

Then vasectomy guy get charged with statutory rape, raped for reals in prision, and then spends the rest of his life registered as a sex offender. The hamster chick gets a round of applause from feminists all over the world, a 100k book deal and an interview on Ellen.

Everybody wins!

Where did you get statutory rape from?

[germanico]

Might have my legal definitions mixed up. In some jurisdictions, statutory rape can be applied to getting someone to have sex under false pretenses, using coercion or a ruse, not necessarily physical force.

For example, that one where one guy walks around a neighbourhood knocking doors in a white lab coat telling old ladies that he is from the health department and that they are conducting "free vaginal checks for tumors".

[chakri]

1) "Hello! I'm an attractive and beautiful, Dominican American! I've been staying with friends and it hasn't been easy, as I'm used to having my own apartment. Financial hardships caused me to loose my beautiful place. My own place is what I'm seeking, and not an offer to live with you. Please, only serious replies from mature men, not looking for a serious relationship. Is there anyone real on this thing? I hope so. Let's discuss further. Thank you!"
She feels entitled and knows exaaactly what she wants

2) Subject: Demanding & Bitchy seeks Affluent & Attentive
"The title says it. I prefer white men over the age of 45 and taller than six feet. I am an exotic and voluptuous mixed girl. "

[R Smoov]

I remember in highschool my friend showed me a ad of a girl who had HIV who was in need of a babydaddy.