Quote: (02-27-2010 02:34 PM)Willy Wonka Wrote:
This is actually the biggest problem for me in any relationship I've even been in, whether serious or casual.
It usually goes like this - once I start fucking a chick, I'm usually getting some whenever I want it for a month, a couple months, 3-4 months depending on the chick... but then, somewhere along the line, she says "not tonight" for the first time. It's usually something like "let's not have sex tonight, just lay with me, why do we have to have sex every time you see me?"
I just never no how to handle this situation. It always strikes me as odd, that a chick whose always been DTF anywhere, any place, is now all of the sudden saying "no, not tonight".
This is literally, the single, most frustrating thing that women do to me.... yet, it always happens... no matter the girl, at some point, she'll pull this shit.
What's y'alls advice for how to handle this situation? Or how to bounce back to the point where she's DTF every day, all the time again?
Alright, I know the exact situation that your talking about. Its a test of the relationship power dynamic, most of the time, unless she has a woman issue, a legitimate headache or something similar. However, it
doesn't matter if its a test or legitimate. You treat it the same.
Girls that have self esteem, and that are desirable to other men, will generally try this sooner or later, especially if you've been getting regular sex from them or otherwise have been the dominant one in the relationship. I've found that the more frequent / dominant that I am in taking sex, or whatever, the more likely a girl will try this. Whether she consciously realizes this or not, she is testing to see if you are truly as dominant as she has been assuming you to be. This means not "needing" sex from her at all times, even if you are actually getting it at all times. If you do anything but what I tell you, I can almost guarantee that you fucked up.
What you do is turn the tables on her and tell her that you weren't planning on giving her any anyway, and look at her like she's crazy. It has to look and sound legitimate, although more nonchalant/cocky/funny than emotional, and not like your covering some type of emotion that shows that you care about her not giving you sex. Then change the subject and act like she never said anything. Go out of your way to talk about something else, and show that you aren't the least bit emotionally affected by her statement. Tell her that she'll be lucky to get any from you this month, or whatever, and you can then keep busting on her about this fact or change the subject. Tell her your worn out from all of the other hoes that you've been banging, or whichever cocky joke that you want to run. However, don't ever lead on that you might actually care about what she just said. You have to sound believable, but also not convey any negative emotion. She should be playfully punching you, or joking with you as you do this. If she remains serious when you tell her that your not giving her any, and maybe even accepts what you say, then there is likely a bigger problem thats been building up for a while. She might be slowly breaking off the relationship, which most likely means that you haven't been controlling the dynamic correctly from the beginning.
When you pass this test, it may mean that you won't get any that night. Or you might, later. So what. Its the price you pay for passing her test and setting the dominant frame that she needs to feel so that she can keep giving it up to you. Or that maybe you can come over and be with her for for something else other than to use her as a cum receptacle. After you pass tests like this once or twice, she'll stop testing you as much, confident that your the confident and non-needy man she needs you to be.
Its a test that I relish when it happens, and have never failed. I relish it because its actually a chance to show her that I'm the one with the power, and not her.
The harder the test, the better it is for your power in the relationship when you pass it. You should look forward to hard tests like this, as it will make your ability to get what you want easier given when you pass the test.
If your physically initiating sex, as in half naked, when she pulls this lame shit, you can't fake not having wanted to give her any. Just say "ok", jump up and start to do something else. Don't whine about it, just playfully act like she is the one missing out and with a smile on your face.
The more a girl feels like you don't care, the less you'll get tested and the easier sex will be to get.
