[dandylion]

Does anyone else think this matters?

I grew up going by my first name, which is not a cool name. I realized using my middle name, I had a lot more confidence. I've started this into adulthood and people think it's strange (being known by one name and deciding to use your middle name in your 20s), but you can only live for yourself.

Not giving away the exact names...but the name I grew up using sounds like a nerdy name when Anglicized...and Bert was a common nickname. I'm 2nd generation hispanic.

The name I use now is an appealing Latin (but cross-cultural) latin name, could be Italian, French, Spanish, etc.

Basically, what it comes down to, Would you rather be named Herbert, or Danny?

Does this have an effect growing up? I noticed in my high-school, which was mainly white, most guys who were popular with women usually did have common names.

I think it has a stronger subconscious effect on people, but society likes to dismiss it as purely trivial. A name can really affect how you think of yourself.

Growing up, no pretty girl is gonna wanna admit she's dating a dude named Herbert or something like that. I really think parents need to understand this...for me, it was a culture thing and I received a name I didn't like since I was 5, but spanned back generations in my family.

It was a hard choice in the end, but I'm happy I did.

Wondering if anyone has done something similar, or considered it - or just not been happy with their name and always wanted something else. Guys with "normal" names like Andy, Mike, Chris, Tim, Justin, Kyle, etc...just don't understand.

* I also don't think it affects girls as much, a pretty girl can be named Gertrude and there will still be guys after her. Although, a nicer name would help, this has a stronger effect on boys, and boys are typically bullied more. If I could go back in time, that would be the first thing I did. Give myself a non-nerdy name.

[Cincinnatus]

I'm lucky enough to have fairly common first and middle names, as well as a nickname, all of which I happily answer to and have never been teased about. When I see celebrities naming their kids shit like Jermajesty, Blue Ivy, and Sage Moonblood, I really wonder what the fuck is wrong with people.

[dandylion]

I totally agree...but I think that is still pretty rare.

I think real names pose a bigger problem if they are outdated or very nerdy.

[AWOLNomad]

I could see how having a weird or certain sounding name could be difficult so I dont blame you for changing it.

I grew up going by my middle name my whole life and having to explain to people all the reasoning behind that was a pain in the ass.
My dad wanted me to have his name but they decided to call me by my middle name so there is no confusion.

I think a name is important and you should be called whatever makes you feel good.

[Statsi]

If you are going to be raw dogging SNL then an alias is probably a good idea, come up with any cool sounding name or nickname you like.

[Timoteo]

I've always felt that this was extremely important. Parents should give their sons names that they will be proud to carry out into the world. The cultural thing can be strong - the passing on of a name that has been in the family for generations. If it's a cool name, great. If not...

I've always wondered how parents must feel when a child legally changes their name when they're older. It can be interpreted as a rejection of the name they were given. For me, my first name is a common, biblical name. It's my surname that made me popular - it's very cool and uncommon, and people tend to remember me because of it.

[rationalize_this]

I would not bang a girl whose name was gretchen, mildred, agnus, or any variations of that verbal diarrhea.

[dandylion]

I wish I would have done this long ago. Like if I'm out a bar with a date, I always scan and look for people from high school or college, or people that I knew before I started using my middle name. I live in a medium-sized city in the midwest.

I admit, I've tried to pass it off as my first name, just because making that explanation seems awkward. They instantly know it means I must have gotten picked on and there's a reason for it. By using middle name, they knew I didn't like my first name, sort of a sign of weakness in my opinion.

I was out with this hot asian chick a few months ago, and one of her friends, was a girl who knew me as my first name years ago. I try to pass it off like it's a double-first name, like "John-Paul", although it isn't, and that's just to mitigate the fact people will think it's strange. I'm not sure it worked...maybe they talked about it later. This chick had a boyfriend the entire time, but you can't expect too much from POF.

So, my motivation is to start over now. I actually went to court and flipped my name around, so my middle name, is my first name now. Haven't told too many people. I just didn't like making the explanation, but given I've lived in the same town forever, it's almost impossible to avoid it.

Then, there's the whole thing about job applications, credit, background checks. I so wanted to have a "good" first name that I did this. People really don't understand. I hated going out and trying to not have my ID shown because my real first name would appear on it.

Moral of the story...parents, name your boys something that won't get them picked on, something they will like to tell girls. Always make the nerdier/not as desirable name the middle name. The first name is there for a reason, that's the name that has been set out for you to use. It just creates problems in the future when you start using your middle name, even if you do it early in life.

I never liked the first day of school, teacher would butcher my name, class would laugh. In college, it would just skip the first day for this reason.

[Architekt]

I was named by my brother and sister, 'cause my parents didn't have any names for me.

My actual first name is pretty boring, and people tend to get it wrong a lot for some reason (it's really not a difficult name). I've used my middle name as an alias a bit in the last few months, but I recently started giving out a new one, which I, and other people find a lot more interesting. It also allows for some jokes and conversation to get the ball rolling.

[dandylion]

Eventually though, say you meet a woman you want to date or marry...she's going to want to know your real name. These "aliases" are just gonna make her think you're a strange guy.

That's why it's much easier to have a "good" name from the beginning.

[Basil Ransom]

My first name is fairly rare. A lot of girls I meet have this hippyish response of 'ooohh I've never met an ____ before. That's a cool name.'

I think for most people, who have fairly generic names, it isn't a big deal. But there are cases where it could hurt you. I can imagine some girls in LA getting turned off if you have a low class Mexican name like Esse, or even a Persian name. Or like you said, something that sounds lame. But, you can always just give her a nickname. Her primary impression of you won't be influenced much by your name.

Plus, when you choose your name, you can pick one that matches your identity, your vibe. Latin player? Giovonny .

[dandylion]

(09-09-2012 10:46 PM)basilransom Wrote:  

My first name is fairly rare. A lot of girls I meet have this hippyish response of 'ooohh I've never met an ____ before. That's a cool name.'

I think for most people, who have fairly generic names, it isn't a big deal. But there are cases where it could hurt you. I can imagine some girls in LA getting turned off if you have a low class Mexican name like Esse, or even a Persian name. Or like you said, something that sounds lame. But, you can always just give her a nickname. Her primary impression of you won't be influenced much by your name.

Plus, when you choose your name, you can pick one that matches your identity, your vibe. Latin player? Giovonny .

I used to get that alot with my first name which is not a cool name at all. It's even worse when they start repeating to themselves...liking a name as a novelty is not the same as truly liking a name in my opinion.

It's also possible to have a good uncommon name like Xavier, or a not-so-cool common name like Doug.

[dandylion]

(09-09-2012 10:02 PM)Timoteo Wrote:  

I've always felt that this was extremely important. Parents should give their sons names that they will be proud to carry out into the world. The cultural thing can be strong - the passing on of a name that has been in the family for generations. If it's a cool name, great. If not...

I've always wondered how parents must feel when a child legally changes their name when they're older. It can be interpreted as a rejection of the name they were given. For me, my first name is a common, biblical name. It's my surname that made me popular - it's very cool and uncommon, and people tend to remember me because of it.

I agree. A good surname also helps. I actually include my mom's maiden name after my last name on everything. It's a very 'sexy' sounding last name.

My main last name is not.

I remember growing up, seeing girls write their names with a boy's last name they had a crush on all over their notebooks. They weren't doing it with mine - but I knew mine didn't go well with any.

[Basil Ransom]

(09-09-2012 10:48 PM)dandylion Wrote:  

(09-09-2012 10:46 PM)basilransom Wrote:  

My first name is fairly rare. A lot of girls I meet have this hippyish response of 'ooohh I've never met an ____ before. That's a cool name.'

I think for most people, who have fairly generic names, it isn't a big deal. But there are cases where it could hurt you. I can imagine some girls in LA getting turned off if you have a low class Mexican name like Esse, or even a Persian name. Or like you said, something that sounds lame. But, you can always just give her a nickname. Her primary impression of you won't be influenced much by your name.

Plus, when you choose your name, you can pick one that matches your identity, your vibe. Latin player? Giovonny .

I used to get that alot with my first name which is not a cool name at all. It's even worse when they start repeating to themselves...liking a name as a novelty is not the same as truly liking a name in my opinion.

It's also possible to have a good uncommon name like Xavier, or a not-so-cool common name like Doug.

Lol man, I think I can read their responses correctly. I also live in LA, where being a little exotic isn't always punished.

Honestly, you sound a little too hung up on it, and that will hurt you more than what your name actually is. My full name sounds a lot like something kind of embarrassing, but I run with it if girls mention it, and they laugh. If your name was Herb, you could be like, 'yeah, my parents had this prophesy that I'd become a drug dealer someday.'

[dandylion]

(09-09-2012 10:58 PM)basilransom Wrote:  

(09-09-2012 10:48 PM)dandylion Wrote:  

(09-09-2012 10:46 PM)basilransom Wrote:  

My first name is fairly rare. A lot of girls I meet have this hippyish response of 'ooohh I've never met an ____ before. That's a cool name.'

I think for most people, who have fairly generic names, it isn't a big deal. But there are cases where it could hurt you. I can imagine some girls in LA getting turned off if you have a low class Mexican name like Esse, or even a Persian name. Or like you said, something that sounds lame. But, you can always just give her a nickname. Her primary impression of you won't be influenced much by your name.

Plus, when you choose your name, you can pick one that matches your identity, your vibe. Latin player? Giovonny .

I used to get that alot with my first name which is not a cool name at all. It's even worse when they start repeating to themselves...liking a name as a novelty is not the same as truly liking a name in my opinion.

It's also possible to have a good uncommon name like Xavier, or a not-so-cool common name like Doug.

Lol man, I think I can read their responses correctly. I also live in LA, where being a little exotic isn't always punished.

Honestly, you sound a little too hung up on it, and that will hurt you more than what your name actually is. My full name sounds a lot like something kind of embarrassing, but I run with it if girls mention it, and they laugh. If your name was Herb, you could be like, 'yeah, my parents had this prophesy that I'd become a drug dealer someday.'

Yes, but you must take into account, with an obviously odd name...people can be surprised by it and not be sure what to say.

For me, they would start repeating it while telling me they liked it, or an "OMG that's so cool". It may be different for you.

I also grew up in an entirely white city. Certain spanish names did transfer to english well (Alejandro - Alex), and this always pissed me off because mine did not. While it's diversified now where I live, a very ethnic hispanic name just equates illegal to most White Americans, anywhere in America.

[germanico]

You are what and who you say you are. Introduce yourself as the name you want people to call you, and people will call you that, even if the name you give yourself is as ridiculous like P. Diddy, Eminem, or Marilyn Manson.

[dandylion]

(09-09-2012 11:13 PM)germanico Wrote:  

You are what and who you say you are. Introduce yourself as the name you want people to call you, and people will call you that, even if the name you give yourself is as ridiculous like P. Diddy, Eminem, or Marilyn Manson.

Yes, but for most people, using a new name (if they don't like what they have) doesn't equate to a stage name.

Although, that is one way to look at it.

[Screwston]

I have a common first and middle name, but I usually give a fake name to new girls. I have 2 that I switch with; a common name that starts with the same letter as my real name and another smooth sounding, Latin player one.

Some girl was sucking my dick a while back and asked if it felt good "fake name" and I said huh?? I forgot about my alias for a second haha.

I like my real name and only switch it up for safety issues with these scandalous lizards. I'm glad my mom didn't pick a typical, Hispanic sounding name because that shit can bite you in your ass like dandylion mentioned.

[dandylion]

Some Hispanic names do sound good, or transfer to English well, or both. But, for those with names like "Ignacio", neither apply.

[king]

I suffered myself by a bad choice of name, i have a good first name so the damage is not complete, but my middle name is actually very weird sounding to the local place where i live, i remember being teased and made fun about my name during elementary school, after that in high school and college it was mostly seen with curiosity, but i remember always being to the deffensive when giving my complete name, because usually questions and awkward moments came up.

The weird thing i always ended up being called by my middle name and eventually the funny thing about my name wore off and i just got used to being called like that. My family and friends from the past still call me like that.

When i finished college i moved to another part of the country where my middle name was no longer funny, it was just "unusual" and i prefered to be called by my first name, and people just call me by my first name right now.

Up to this day i still think i would officially erase my middle name if i could, but i read that you have to make some changes to many documents (school diplomas, driving licencse, etc) that i really think i will just stick to giving my first name to people i meet and keep to myself my middle name and for official reasons.

Also as i get older i don't give more importance than when i was younger, but i do recognize the importance of not giving shitty names to your children, specially names that may cause fun from other children. On the other hand, my name also gives a sense of uniqueness which might be good if you really give a shit about what other people think of you.

[BadWolf]

I like the name Herbert, ryhmes with my favorite ice cream: sherbert, although I have told my wife that our children will carry biblical names (as my family does). I think we are going to go with Gabriel for a boy. Biblical names just sound powerful to me. The apostles or angels that kind of thing.

I met a guy named OBI, called himself Obiwan Kenobi. Fvcking cool.

Han, Luke, Anakin, Riker, Dwayne Hicks(aliens), Kirk, Mad Morigan() will always be coveted names in my book.

[Tuthmosis]

Guys, it's not that hard to legally change your name. Google the costs and laws in your state, pull out sheet of paper, and start brainstorming a new name. In most cases, you fill out a sheet, pay a fee, and publish it in the newspaper a few times (part of the law).

Remember this example, always.

[dandylion]

That's the problem, and where things get misunderstood. You run the risk of being considered a huge joke to everyone when they see that publication.

Everyone is given the chance of a 'good name' at birth, but not everyone gets one.

[dandylion]

And "Herbert" is just gonna get a kid laughed at. As for the guy named "Obi", any name with a star wars reference just screams nerd. If anyone else watched Full House back in the day (you know you did), there was an episode where DJ finds out his real name is Hermes.

It then comes out that his real first name is "Hermes", named after his great-grandfather, while it's just TV, he does a good job at showing the guilt he felt for not using it, by discussing the history of the name.

Some names just sound funny and need no explanation, regardless of what country they come from. You could be in a class with all sorts of foreign names, some will always sound funnier than others, and some will sound good in English.

http://youtu.be/YHN8TfYC7KY

[OGNorCal707]

I can relate to this thread a little bit, because I have an uncommon name that comes from a different country/culture, and sounds very strange to most peoples' ears. So my name isn't really something dorky sounding like Stuart or Stanley, but I did get teased for it a lot as a child, and I have had to deal with a lot of negative reactions, basically people (*girls*) giving me the "WTF!" look, and I have had a few rednecks straight up try to make funny of me for it. It caused me a bit of anxiety when I was a teenager and into my early twenties, like the OP I think I made too much of a big deal out of it, but for a while I dreaded introductions and never liked introducing myself to new people, because of the name issue.

I thought about using a different name, but never actually did, because even though I sometimes felt like it was a curse, ultimately I was proud to be unique, not just one of a million guys name Mike or Chris, plus my name has historical/cultural meaning which is also cool. In the past few years I've sometimes used the Anglo version of my name, but since it is still uncommon most people haven't heard of it, although a decent amount of people have and it's much easier for them to pronounce. It is sometimes kind of awkward when the two names get mixed up and people call me out of why I use two names, but to me it's the same difference as a Mexican guy name Pedro, saying that his name is Peter.

I will say that some names just sound more smooth and I think can get the female hamster spinning a bit more, names like Dante, Giovonny, Andre, etc., but ultimately I don't think it's that big a deal. If you got a name that women may associate with someone dorky like Stuart, or kind of gay like Shiloh, then maybe experiment with a different name, like another poster mentioned if you're out get ONS, it may not be a bad policy to give out an alias as it is, with all the crazy bitches out there these days. Anyways, that's my 2 cents on it, ultimately I don't think names matter too much in the end, if you're attractive, well dressed, well groomed, fit, confident guy, who knows how to spit game, chicks are going to dig you no matter what your name is. Also, in the end not giving a fuck is the most important thing, and anything you stress about, have anxiety over, or feel self-concious about is only going to hold you back in this world.